Say, is Xeronix based on Dragoon by any chance? From the description, reminds me of Dragoon V/V2...
Beyblade VS Battle Strikers
Poll: What the heck do you think?
| Awesome |
|
40 |
| Great |
|
9 |
| Pretty good |
|
27 |
| Needs some work |
|
20 |
| Boo! |
|
21 |
| Total: | 100% | 117 vote(s) |
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![[Image: tumblr_lrjefcs4Ez1qkygyy.gif]](https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrjefcs4Ez1qkygyy.gif)
I dunno, they never said!
exalent maby a fan anima of this would be epic
(Nov. 06, 2011 5:19 PM)T. L-Drago 9207 Wrote:(Nov. 06, 2011 6:37 AM)All Gen Blader Wrote: Excellent! Maybe a fan anime of this would be epic!
Now there's an idea! Thanks man, and I hope you didn't mind if I corrected that post a bit.
Now THAT would be awesome! You need a storyboard artist? Call me! I do pretty good anime people!
Sure, why not!?
Anyone for voice actors?
Anyone for voice actors?
Any ideas for Chapter 10 I could use?
Well, what are they, then?
Any of you got ideas for Chapter 12?
I am happy to announce that Chapter 10 is in the works! 
Chappy 10? :cheif2002hm: :cheif2002idea: Novel maybe? Manga? Still, awesome story! As suggestions for a new chapter, maybe Zane/Reiji are in a match against, let's say a random dude named Steve, and then an antagonist comes and blows the Steve/Zane/Reiji's bey/striker akin to when Cpt. Capri knocks that Django guy's bey out, then Flips down to the stadium similar to Tsubasa's flip before he goes against Argo... Thnx!
Actually, Chapter 10 is where Milly fights her battle in Round 1. I have this plot twist in consideration:
Milly battles some guy named Riff Hawkins, who uses a pretty powerful Battle Striker named FireHawk, and just when Milly was about to lose, Riff's older brother Miguel appears out of nowhere and interrupts the match with the ice-cold Beyblade Ultimate Frostic Dranzer. Not only that, but Miguel, also takes Riff's FireHawk, and reveals to the officials that Riff has been cheating with illegally modified versions of FireHawk's parts. Riff gets disqualified and Milly moves on to Round 2, and she was about to thank Miguel, he disappears like lightning!
Milly battles some guy named Riff Hawkins, who uses a pretty powerful Battle Striker named FireHawk, and just when Milly was about to lose, Riff's older brother Miguel appears out of nowhere and interrupts the match with the ice-cold Beyblade Ultimate Frostic Dranzer. Not only that, but Miguel, also takes Riff's FireHawk, and reveals to the officials that Riff has been cheating with illegally modified versions of FireHawk's parts. Riff gets disqualified and Milly moves on to Round 2, and she was about to thank Miguel, he disappears like lightning!
Chapter 10: Milly's Battle! The Cheater Hunter appears!
A question from the author to the readers: Have any of you forgotten that a Beyblade can have more than one Special Move?
"For the next battle in the first round, is Milly Kendrickson against Riff Hawkins!", annouces the DJ, as Milly and her opponent approach their positions on the playing field. Riff Hawkins is a rather big for his age, due to a growth spurt, which is jokingly described as being the size of the Grand Canyon. He also has a peach skin tone, and with a few freckles on his face, and crowning his head is a mess of black hair with fiery red highlights, complete with a pair of maroon-colored eyes. As for what he was wearing, he boasts an ash grey sleeveless shirt with a picture of a phoenix on its back, black khakis with hot rod-style flames on the bottom. On his feet are a pair of hiking boots, and around his neck is a necklace with a pendant shaped like a hawk. "Whoever this guy is", notes Milly, "He must really take on the fiery motif of the phoenix, and I have no doubt that his Battle Striker may have a phoenix-type StrikerSoul!"
The two competitors engage their respective tops onto their launchers, and aimed at the inside of the arena. The DJ then starts the countdown for the battle,
"3..."
"2..."
"1..."
"GO SHOOT!!", Milly yelled as she launches her Virgo into the arena, and at the same time, Riff yelled, "STRIKE!", as he sent his Phoenix Striker, FireHawk, spinning into the arena. Riff has FireHawk aggressively strike at Virgo early on in the battle, as the Stamina-type Beyblade fought back. "Hey, Kendrickson, how about some trash-talking as we battle, huh?!", asks Riff with a cocky look on his face. Milly replied calmly, "I'd rather not, and you better watch out for my--", before ordering to her Bey, "Special Move: Infernal Empress Fire Blade!", as the wings of the Bey's WgD145 Spin Track ignited with a fiery glow, as the Bey whirs towards FireHawk, which Riff orders to it, "Alright FireHawk, counter it with Phoenix Thermite Saber!!", but nothing happened as the Phoenix Striker was getting pushed back by Virgo. Riff was starting to get frustrated, "FireHawk, Phoenix Thermite Saber!!", and again, nothing happened. He snarls, "Damn, why won't it obey me?!"
"Maybe because you've been using those illegally-modified parts again, brother! A StrikerSoul will, after all, not obey their master if he or she uses illegal parts! Also, didn't mom tell you to watch your language?", said a new voice, which Riff recognizes all too well, and growled at its owner, who appeared in a sudden, freezing-cold mist. This new individual is Riff's older brother, Miguel. He stands a few inches taller than Riff. He has blue highlights on his black hair, opposite to Riff's red, with no freckles on his face, but still has the peach skin tone. He is also wearing a blue t-shirt with the red-colored/white-outlined initials BBA on it, as well as a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of bluish-colored New Balance WW860 sneakers. He also wears ice-blue contacts on his eyes. The DJ gasps at Miguel's appearance, saying, "Well, look at that, it's Miguel Hawkins, the Cheater Hunter, making a surprise appearance at this year's tournament!". At the DJ's words, the crowd at the stands gasped in shock. You see, Miguel is famous among many circles of Battle Strikers players, due to his reputation of catching people cheating with illegal parts, and exposing them, as well as his entrance. Anyways, Miguel reaches into his pocket, and pulled out a Beyblade launcher and attaches to it, a deep-blue Beyblade with four wing-like protrusions, and in its center is a picture of what appears to be a three-headed avian ice beast--Ultimate Frostic Dranzer.
"Darn it Miguel! I'm trying to battle here!", growled Riff, to which Miguel replied, "Yeah, right, little bro! Moments before you left the house for the tournament, I overheard you muttering about how you're going to take down the competition with illegal parts, so drop it!". Riff returned his Battle Striker, and launched it towards Miguel, who in turn launched his Ultimate Frostic Dranzer to intercept FireHawk. Riff was cocky that FireHawk's illegal modifications could beat Miguel's 'flimsy' Beyblade, but, oh, how wrong he was! Milly could watch as Miguel ordered to his Ultimate Frostic Dranzer, "Freezing Phoenix Strike!", and the cool blue Beyblade obeys, as it then produced ice blades from its Attack Ring, before smashing into FireHawk's Lock, causing Riff's Phoenix Striker to fall apart in a spectacular fashion, as Ultimate Frostic Dranzer dutifully flies back to its master's hand. A nearby official went over to where FireHawk's parts lied. The crowd could watched in suspense as he picked up the parts, and looked them over for any illegal modifications, until he found one; FireHawk's ST2 Super Stamina tip has a four holes drilled into different sides of its base, likely to capture the airflow and use it to increase the stamina. The official pulled out a bullhorn and announced into it, "Due to the intervention of the Cheater Hunter, Riff Hawkins is hereby disqualified from the tournament for the use of an illegally-modified part. Milly Kendrickson moves on to Round 2 by default."
Milly could sigh in relief as Riff was taken away by his mom, who came to watch him participate, and boy was she mad that her younger son tried to cheat. "You should be ashamed of yourself, young man!", she scolds Riff as she dragged him away by the ear, "I was hoping you'd listen to your brother after he tells you not to use those illegal parts, but no! You're as stubborn as your father when he was your age!" Milly turned to thank Miguel for exposing the cheater, when he disappeared in an ice-cold mist, leaving her mystified as she walked back to her chair on the platform.
Chapter End
EDIT (11/24/2011): I changed the title a bit to make it sound better
EDIT (11/25/2011): I changed a few things on one last piece of advice from Temporal, for a while at least. I've always looked up to Temporal as a mentor when it came to writing this fanfic, and perhaps I'll dedicate the next chapter to him.
EDIT (11/27/2011): A few more changes
A question from the author to the readers: Have any of you forgotten that a Beyblade can have more than one Special Move?
"For the next battle in the first round, is Milly Kendrickson against Riff Hawkins!", annouces the DJ, as Milly and her opponent approach their positions on the playing field. Riff Hawkins is a rather big for his age, due to a growth spurt, which is jokingly described as being the size of the Grand Canyon. He also has a peach skin tone, and with a few freckles on his face, and crowning his head is a mess of black hair with fiery red highlights, complete with a pair of maroon-colored eyes. As for what he was wearing, he boasts an ash grey sleeveless shirt with a picture of a phoenix on its back, black khakis with hot rod-style flames on the bottom. On his feet are a pair of hiking boots, and around his neck is a necklace with a pendant shaped like a hawk. "Whoever this guy is", notes Milly, "He must really take on the fiery motif of the phoenix, and I have no doubt that his Battle Striker may have a phoenix-type StrikerSoul!"
The two competitors engage their respective tops onto their launchers, and aimed at the inside of the arena. The DJ then starts the countdown for the battle,
"3..."
"2..."
"1..."
"GO SHOOT!!", Milly yelled as she launches her Virgo into the arena, and at the same time, Riff yelled, "STRIKE!", as he sent his Phoenix Striker, FireHawk, spinning into the arena. Riff has FireHawk aggressively strike at Virgo early on in the battle, as the Stamina-type Beyblade fought back. "Hey, Kendrickson, how about some trash-talking as we battle, huh?!", asks Riff with a cocky look on his face. Milly replied calmly, "I'd rather not, and you better watch out for my--", before ordering to her Bey, "Special Move: Infernal Empress Fire Blade!", as the wings of the Bey's WgD145 Spin Track ignited with a fiery glow, as the Bey whirs towards FireHawk, which Riff orders to it, "Alright FireHawk, counter it with Phoenix Thermite Saber!!", but nothing happened as the Phoenix Striker was getting pushed back by Virgo. Riff was starting to get frustrated, "FireHawk, Phoenix Thermite Saber!!", and again, nothing happened. He snarls, "Damn, why won't it obey me?!"
"Maybe because you've been using those illegally-modified parts again, brother! A StrikerSoul will, after all, not obey their master if he or she uses illegal parts! Also, didn't mom tell you to watch your language?", said a new voice, which Riff recognizes all too well, and growled at its owner, who appeared in a sudden, freezing-cold mist. This new individual is Riff's older brother, Miguel. He stands a few inches taller than Riff. He has blue highlights on his black hair, opposite to Riff's red, with no freckles on his face, but still has the peach skin tone. He is also wearing a blue t-shirt with the red-colored/white-outlined initials BBA on it, as well as a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of bluish-colored New Balance WW860 sneakers. He also wears ice-blue contacts on his eyes. The DJ gasps at Miguel's appearance, saying, "Well, look at that, it's Miguel Hawkins, the Cheater Hunter, making a surprise appearance at this year's tournament!". At the DJ's words, the crowd at the stands gasped in shock. You see, Miguel is famous among many circles of Battle Strikers players, due to his reputation of catching people cheating with illegal parts, and exposing them, as well as his entrance. Anyways, Miguel reaches into his pocket, and pulled out a Beyblade launcher and attaches to it, a deep-blue Beyblade with four wing-like protrusions, and in its center is a picture of what appears to be a three-headed avian ice beast--Ultimate Frostic Dranzer.
"Darn it Miguel! I'm trying to battle here!", growled Riff, to which Miguel replied, "Yeah, right, little bro! Moments before you left the house for the tournament, I overheard you muttering about how you're going to take down the competition with illegal parts, so drop it!". Riff returned his Battle Striker, and launched it towards Miguel, who in turn launched his Ultimate Frostic Dranzer to intercept FireHawk. Riff was cocky that FireHawk's illegal modifications could beat Miguel's 'flimsy' Beyblade, but, oh, how wrong he was! Milly could watch as Miguel ordered to his Ultimate Frostic Dranzer, "Freezing Phoenix Strike!", and the cool blue Beyblade obeys, as it then produced ice blades from its Attack Ring, before smashing into FireHawk's Lock, causing Riff's Phoenix Striker to fall apart in a spectacular fashion, as Ultimate Frostic Dranzer dutifully flies back to its master's hand. A nearby official went over to where FireHawk's parts lied. The crowd could watched in suspense as he picked up the parts, and looked them over for any illegal modifications, until he found one; FireHawk's ST2 Super Stamina tip has a four holes drilled into different sides of its base, likely to capture the airflow and use it to increase the stamina. The official pulled out a bullhorn and announced into it, "Due to the intervention of the Cheater Hunter, Riff Hawkins is hereby disqualified from the tournament for the use of an illegally-modified part. Milly Kendrickson moves on to Round 2 by default."
Milly could sigh in relief as Riff was taken away by his mom, who came to watch him participate, and boy was she mad that her younger son tried to cheat. "You should be ashamed of yourself, young man!", she scolds Riff as she dragged him away by the ear, "I was hoping you'd listen to your brother after he tells you not to use those illegal parts, but no! You're as stubborn as your father when he was your age!" Milly turned to thank Miguel for exposing the cheater, when he disappeared in an ice-cold mist, leaving her mystified as she walked back to her chair on the platform.
Chapter End
EDIT (11/24/2011): I changed the title a bit to make it sound better
EDIT (11/25/2011): I changed a few things on one last piece of advice from Temporal, for a while at least. I've always looked up to Temporal as a mentor when it came to writing this fanfic, and perhaps I'll dedicate the next chapter to him.
EDIT (11/27/2011): A few more changes
So what do you think? I understand if it doesn't seem that good to you!
Hey, I'm not going to make another chapter without some criticism!
I'll put the story on hiatus, until I can get some criticism.
(Nov. 17, 2011 1:46 AM)T. L-Drago 9207 Wrote: Chapter 10: Milly's Battle! An opponent caught cheating!
A question from the author to the readers: Have any of you forgotten that a Beyblade can have more than one Special Move?
"ForThe next battle in the first round is Milly Kendrickson against Riff Hawkins!", annouces the DJ, as Milly and her opponent approach their positions on the playing field. Riff Hawkins is a rather big for his age, due to a growth spurt, which is jokingly described as being the size of the Grand Canyon. He also has a peach skin tone, and with a few freckles on his face, and crowning his head is a mess of black hair with fiery red highlights, and this is complete with a pair of maroon-colored eyes. As for what he was wearing, he boasts an ash grey sleeveless shirt with a picture of a phoenix on its back, black khakis with hot rod-style flames on the bottom. On his feet are a pair of hiking boots, and around his neck is a necklace with a pendant shaped like a hawk. "Whoever this guy is", notes Milly, "He must really take on the fiery motif of the phoenix, and I have no doubt that his Battle Striker may have a phoenix-type StrikerSoul!"
The two competitors engage their respective tops onto their launchers, and aimed at the inside of the arena. The DJ then starts the countdown for the battle,
"3..."
"2..."
"1..."
"GO SHOOT!!", Milly yelled as she launches her Virgo into the arena, and at the same time, Riff yelled, "STRIKE!", as he sent his Phoenix Striker, FireHawk, spinning into the arena. Riff's has FireHawk aggressively strikes at Virgo early on in the battle, as the Stamina-type Beyblade fought back. "Hey, Kendrickson, how about some trash-talking as we battle, huh?!", asks Riff with a cocky look on his face. Milly replied calmly, "I'd rather not, and you better watch out for my--", before ordering to her Bey, "Special Move: Infernal Empress Fire Blade!", as the wings of the Bey's WgD145 Spin Track ignited with a fiery glow, as the Bey whirs towards FireHawk, which Riff orders to it, "Alright FireHawk, counter it with Phoenix Thermite Saber!!", but nothing happened as the Phoenix Striker was getting pushed back by Virgo. Riff was starting to get frustrated, "FireHawk, Phoenix Thermite Saber!!", and again, nothing happened. He snarls, "Geez, why won't it obey me?!"
"Maybe because you've been using those illegally-modified parts again, brother! A StrikerSoul will, after all, not obey their master if he or she uses illegal parts!", said a new voice, which Riff recognizes all too well, and growled at its owner, who appeared in a sudden, freezing-cold mist. This new individual is Riff's older brother, Miguel. He stands a few inches taller than Riff. He has blue highlights on his black hair, opposite to Riff's red, with no freckles on his face, but still has the peach skin tone. He is also wearing a blue t-shirt with the red-colored initials BBA on it, as well as a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of bluish-colored New Balance WW860 sneakers. He also wears ice-blue contacts on his eyes. The DJ gasps at Miguel's appearance, saying, "Well, look at that, it's Miguel Hawkins, the Cheater Hunter, making a surprise appearance at this year's tournament!". At the DJ's words, the crowds at the stand gasped in shock. You see, Miguel is famous among many circles of Battle Strikers players, due to his reputation of catching people cheating with illegal parts, and exposing them, as well as his entrance. Anyways, Miguel reaches into his pocket, and pulled out a Beyblade launcher and attaches to it, a deep-blue Beyblade with four wing-like protrusions, and in its center is a picture of what appears to be a three-headed avian ice beast--Ultimate Frostic Dranzer.
"Darn it Miguel! I'm trying to battle here!", growled Riff, to which Miguel replied, "Yeah, right, little bro! Moments before you left the house for the tournament, I overheard you muttering about how you're going to take down the competition with illegal parts, so drop it!". Riff returned his Battle Striker, and launched it towards Miguel, who in turn launched his Ultimate Frostic Dranzer to intercept FireHawk. Riff was cocky that FireHawk's illegal modifications could beat Miguel's 'flimsy' Beyblade, but how wrong he was! Milly could watch as Ultimate Frostic Dranzer took on an icy aura, leaving behind a trail of snowflake-shaped particles as Miguel orders to it, "Freezing Phoenix Strike!", before shattering the Battle Striker with a single blow, before returning to Miguel's hand. A nearby official went over to where FireHawk's parts lied. The crowd could watch in awe as he picked up the parts, and looked them over for any illegal modifications, until he found one; FireHawk's ST2 Super Stamina tip has a four holes drilled into different sides of its base, likely to capture the airflow and use it to increase the stamina. The official pulled out a bullhorn and announced into it, "Due to the interference INTERVENTION of the Cheater Hunter, Riff Hawkins is hereby disqualified from the tournament for the use of an illegally-modified part. Milly Kendrickson gets to moves on to Round 2 by default."
Milly could sigh in relief as Riff was taken away by his mom, who came to watch him participate, and boy, was she mad that her younger son tried to cheat! "You should be ashamed of yourself, young man!", she scolds Riff as she dragged him away by the ear, "I was hoping you'd listen to your brother after he tells you not to use those illegal parts, but no! You're as stubborn as your father when he was your age!" Milly turned to thank Miguel for exposing the cheater, when he disappeared in an ice-cold mist, leaving her mystified as she walked back to her chair on the platform.
Chapter End
All my edits are in the quote. This is a pretty epic story man!
[Oh yeah, and have you heard? There's a new bey called Fusion Hades!]
I know, I know.
I'm glad you liked my story! Say, you want to be my co-author?
I'm glad you liked my story! Say, you want to be my co-author?
Hrm... This will likely be my final criticism post on the WBO for a long while, so I better make it count, huh?
Still pretty good, but the dialogue is starting to feel forced. It's okay to say "Damn" or "Dammit" every once in a while. Let's face it: Kids say it. Don't overdo it, but make the dialogue similar to how an average kid would act in real life. Of course, a character like Milly would not say "Damn" often, being as smart as she is, but a character like Riff would. Reiji might say it occasionally as well.
Characters don't have to talk to express their feelings. Saying something like "Milly's mind raced as she wonders why. Why couldn't her attacks break through? Was it possible that she might lose here? No... She would not allow that to happen. Not yet. Besides, how would she look in front of Alister if she did? No, losing was out of the question." uses no dialogue, but you get a vivid picture of what Milly is thinking. (That line can also be used as a chance for character development, and results in Milly becoming more confident and not having to lean on not looking bad in front of someone as a motivator. This came off the top of my head, however.)
Try not to say "before" twice in one sentence. The reader is forced to sort things out unnecessarily. Try saying "In response to hearing the name of its special move, Freezing Phoenix Strike, Ultimate Frostic Dranzer shatters Riff's Battle Striker and returns dutifully to Miguel's hand." or something along those lines. Don't make readers have to dig too far for meaning, but don't keep all meaning at the surface.
Something I've wanted to tell you for a while. You're on your way to being a damn good writer. I'm pretty sure you don't need me letting you know how to write after this one. But make sure every word sticks. Never do anything "for the hell of it". Every word, action, spoken dialogue, and monologue should have plot significance. It's nice that you found a co-author, and you have to trust him a lot. It's been an honor to be able to help you out from the beginning, T.L. Drago. I honestly thank you for that. Hah, it seems like I'm dying, doesn't it? But frankly, I won't be on the WBO often anymore, or at least until my passion for Beyblade returns. Just know this: You just might be the last of a dying breed. You just may be the best remaining writer on the WBO. If you join PenPad, then you might learn more. But as far as fanfics go, there isn't much I, or anyone here, can teach you now. Just keep up the momentum you have. On that note: Good luck, and avoid shattering cameras! Not a permanent goodbye, methinks. Just a see ya later for now. So... See ya!
Also: Don't be afraid to show others what to do. Take risks. Be original. And whatever you do, don't give up on your creativity. Once you do, the bubble of insanity that keeps us all afloat pops, and you fall. Then you wake up from this dream of a life you had writing. Except it wasn't a dream, and it'll be gone. And creativity is something you only get once. Give up on it and it's gone for good.
Still pretty good, but the dialogue is starting to feel forced. It's okay to say "Damn" or "Dammit" every once in a while. Let's face it: Kids say it. Don't overdo it, but make the dialogue similar to how an average kid would act in real life. Of course, a character like Milly would not say "Damn" often, being as smart as she is, but a character like Riff would. Reiji might say it occasionally as well.
Characters don't have to talk to express their feelings. Saying something like "Milly's mind raced as she wonders why. Why couldn't her attacks break through? Was it possible that she might lose here? No... She would not allow that to happen. Not yet. Besides, how would she look in front of Alister if she did? No, losing was out of the question." uses no dialogue, but you get a vivid picture of what Milly is thinking. (That line can also be used as a chance for character development, and results in Milly becoming more confident and not having to lean on not looking bad in front of someone as a motivator. This came off the top of my head, however.)
Try not to say "before" twice in one sentence. The reader is forced to sort things out unnecessarily. Try saying "In response to hearing the name of its special move, Freezing Phoenix Strike, Ultimate Frostic Dranzer shatters Riff's Battle Striker and returns dutifully to Miguel's hand." or something along those lines. Don't make readers have to dig too far for meaning, but don't keep all meaning at the surface.
Something I've wanted to tell you for a while. You're on your way to being a damn good writer. I'm pretty sure you don't need me letting you know how to write after this one. But make sure every word sticks. Never do anything "for the hell of it". Every word, action, spoken dialogue, and monologue should have plot significance. It's nice that you found a co-author, and you have to trust him a lot. It's been an honor to be able to help you out from the beginning, T.L. Drago. I honestly thank you for that. Hah, it seems like I'm dying, doesn't it? But frankly, I won't be on the WBO often anymore, or at least until my passion for Beyblade returns. Just know this: You just might be the last of a dying breed. You just may be the best remaining writer on the WBO. If you join PenPad, then you might learn more. But as far as fanfics go, there isn't much I, or anyone here, can teach you now. Just keep up the momentum you have. On that note: Good luck, and avoid shattering cameras! Not a permanent goodbye, methinks. Just a see ya later for now. So... See ya!
Also: Don't be afraid to show others what to do. Take risks. Be original. And whatever you do, don't give up on your creativity. Once you do, the bubble of insanity that keeps us all afloat pops, and you fall. Then you wake up from this dream of a life you had writing. Except it wasn't a dream, and it'll be gone. And creativity is something you only get once. Give up on it and it's gone for good.
Good-bye Temporal, and thank you!
Guess what?
A couple or so weeks ago, I asked OneWingedAngel to be my co-author and he said yes. I haven't seen him, do you?
A couple or so weeks ago, I asked OneWingedAngel to be my co-author and he said yes. I haven't seen him, do you?
Oh, uh, I was working on two different versions of Chapter 11, one of which involving an old enemy of Alister Blackwood. I was about to save it as a draft when I accidentally posted it pre-maturely so I, well, you know, changed it! I'll start over as soon as I can.
Chapter 11 is in the works, so hang tight
Chapter 11A: Diana Returns!
Author's Note: Chapter 11B will be about Jackie's battle in Round 1. 11A is where I'll have Alister's old enemy, Diana, travel into the Battle Strikers homeworld. What will happen in Jackie's Battle is a surprise! I might also dedicate Chapter 12 to our old friend Temporal, who is absent until he finds his passion for Beyblade again. Anyways....
While the tournament is going on at the High School, let us see what's going on in the downtown area, particularly at the convenience store where our Bladers first met Zane Zecom. The clerk was cleaning his counter top with a handy-wipe, when he heard the doors open, and in walked a mysterious-looking young woman. She has skin as white as snow, hair as black as ebony, and deep, piercing purple eyes, and she's not even wearing any contacts! Around her waist is a belt, and attached to it, is a WBBA Beyblade Quick-deploy Case, and a 3 Segment Launcher Grip with a Level 9 Beypoint Card. As for her clothing, she wears an icy-blue sweat jacket with the logo of a crescent moon on it, navy blue khakis held up by that belt, and blackish-colored sneakers. This girl, is Diana, who Alister fought months before the events of this very story. "How may I help you?", asks the clerk, to which Diana replied calmly, "Yes. I am wondering about these...Battle Strikers?".
The clerk smiled, before explaining about Battle Strikers to Diana. After he finished, the girl replied, "I appreciate the information.", before asking, "Now, where can I find some Battle Strikers players?". The clerk points to the door leading to the underground StrikerDrome, replying, "This door leads to an underground Battle Strikers play area. I'm sure you'll find someone who would want to battle you." The girl nodded thankfully, before walking to the door, opening it, and walking down the staircase to the underground StrikerDrome. As the violet-eyed girl disappeared down those stairs, the clerk thought, "Is it me, or is it getting cold in here?", as he went back to cleaning his counter top. Sheila was refereeing a Battle Strikers battle when she felt an ice-cold aura coming from the staircase, and shivered. She thought, "Brrrr! Is the Cheater Hunter coming here? No, this feeling's a bit colder! Who could it be?", as the wielder of Luna Freeze reaches the bottom of the stairs, her eyes looking ahead.
Before Diana could do anything else, she noticed a young man in a Team Paladin uniform walk up to her. The person asks her, "Say, you wanna battle me?", to which the girl Blader thought for a moment before replying with a cold tone, "I could care less, but I could use a warm-up." The young man smiled, "Then it's settled. Anyways, the name's Arthur!", as he held up his Paladin Striker, Masumai, the samurai. Both he and the girl went over to an arena, over which an official is watching. The official, whose name is Jack, greets Arthur, "Hey, Arthur, who's the girl?". The Team Paladin member replied, "I never asked her name, but anyways, we're going to battle!". The two combatants prepared their tops for the inevitable clash between Beyblade and Battle Striker. Jack started the countdown for the battle cry,
"3..."
"2..."
"1..."
"GO SHOOT! / STRIKE!", both opponents say at the same time, as their tops whirled around in the arena, colliding into one another with deep, metallic clangs. Arthur decides to up the ante, ordering to his Battle Striker, "Masumai, use the Samurai Iron Slash!!", as it replied, activating its UPPER.CUT FX Core, its blades taking on a silvery-colored aura. Diana, in response, ordered to her Luna Freeze, "Special Move: Lunar Crystal Blizzard!!", and the Ultimate-type Bey responds to its mistress' command, generating a large, powerful gale of ice crystals from its V145 Spin Track. Arthur was awestruck by the ferocity of Diana's special move, but only for a second, as he then ordered to his Paladin Striker, "Masumai, cut your way through the blizzard!", as it responds, speeding towards the vortex of ice crystals, the blades of its FX Core glowing brighter, as it then tried to push Luna Freeze back towards the wall, only to get caught up in the gale. Masumai was helplessly tossed around inside the tornado, as its weapon got scratched by the ice crystals, some of which embedding themselves within the base of the FX Core. "Masumai, no!", yelled Arthur as he turned to Diana, "W-w-who the heck are you?!"
The Blader replied coldly, "The name is Diana, that's all you need to know.", as the battle ended with Masumai lying in the center of the arena, ice crystals embedded in it, and Luna Freeze dutifully returning to Diana's hand, as she headed up the stairs. This battle did not go unwitnessed, however, as many of the Battle Strikers players that were playing against each other stopped for that very moment to see it unfold. "Wow! Did you see that?!", asked one player with a shocked tone. His opponent replied, "Yeah, I did. I don't think I'd want to challenge her to a battle!". Jack was frightened by the damage done to Masumai, as he thought, "I wouldn't want to see this Diana girl here again for a while. She's scary and powerful, but I have to admit, she's as beautiful as a Snow Woman from those Japanese myths!".
The clerk heard the noise and was about to get to his underground StrikerDrome, when he saw Diana walking out of the door that led to it, her face as serious as ever. He was about to ask her about what had happened when he felt her chillingly-cold aura, and shivered, as the Blader walked out the door. She thought to herself, "Watch yourself, Alister Blackwood, I'm coming for you! When we finally meet for the second time, we'll have the rematch of the century! Just you wait and see!". Meanwhile, in the heavens, we see Mawashi, the Beyblade God, looking at the events that have transpired on a crystal ball, whose base is shaped like a Beyblade. The god thought to himself, "Things are going to go from bad to worse if the girl with that Ultimate-type and Alister meets again! But for now, I shall have to wait and see what would happen next!"
Chapter 11A End
So, how did I do on this one? Review and tell me what you think!
Author's Note: Chapter 11B will be about Jackie's battle in Round 1. 11A is where I'll have Alister's old enemy, Diana, travel into the Battle Strikers homeworld. What will happen in Jackie's Battle is a surprise! I might also dedicate Chapter 12 to our old friend Temporal, who is absent until he finds his passion for Beyblade again. Anyways....
While the tournament is going on at the High School, let us see what's going on in the downtown area, particularly at the convenience store where our Bladers first met Zane Zecom. The clerk was cleaning his counter top with a handy-wipe, when he heard the doors open, and in walked a mysterious-looking young woman. She has skin as white as snow, hair as black as ebony, and deep, piercing purple eyes, and she's not even wearing any contacts! Around her waist is a belt, and attached to it, is a WBBA Beyblade Quick-deploy Case, and a 3 Segment Launcher Grip with a Level 9 Beypoint Card. As for her clothing, she wears an icy-blue sweat jacket with the logo of a crescent moon on it, navy blue khakis held up by that belt, and blackish-colored sneakers. This girl, is Diana, who Alister fought months before the events of this very story. "How may I help you?", asks the clerk, to which Diana replied calmly, "Yes. I am wondering about these...Battle Strikers?".
The clerk smiled, before explaining about Battle Strikers to Diana. After he finished, the girl replied, "I appreciate the information.", before asking, "Now, where can I find some Battle Strikers players?". The clerk points to the door leading to the underground StrikerDrome, replying, "This door leads to an underground Battle Strikers play area. I'm sure you'll find someone who would want to battle you." The girl nodded thankfully, before walking to the door, opening it, and walking down the staircase to the underground StrikerDrome. As the violet-eyed girl disappeared down those stairs, the clerk thought, "Is it me, or is it getting cold in here?", as he went back to cleaning his counter top. Sheila was refereeing a Battle Strikers battle when she felt an ice-cold aura coming from the staircase, and shivered. She thought, "Brrrr! Is the Cheater Hunter coming here? No, this feeling's a bit colder! Who could it be?", as the wielder of Luna Freeze reaches the bottom of the stairs, her eyes looking ahead.
Before Diana could do anything else, she noticed a young man in a Team Paladin uniform walk up to her. The person asks her, "Say, you wanna battle me?", to which the girl Blader thought for a moment before replying with a cold tone, "I could care less, but I could use a warm-up." The young man smiled, "Then it's settled. Anyways, the name's Arthur!", as he held up his Paladin Striker, Masumai, the samurai. Both he and the girl went over to an arena, over which an official is watching. The official, whose name is Jack, greets Arthur, "Hey, Arthur, who's the girl?". The Team Paladin member replied, "I never asked her name, but anyways, we're going to battle!". The two combatants prepared their tops for the inevitable clash between Beyblade and Battle Striker. Jack started the countdown for the battle cry,
"3..."
"2..."
"1..."
"GO SHOOT! / STRIKE!", both opponents say at the same time, as their tops whirled around in the arena, colliding into one another with deep, metallic clangs. Arthur decides to up the ante, ordering to his Battle Striker, "Masumai, use the Samurai Iron Slash!!", as it replied, activating its UPPER.CUT FX Core, its blades taking on a silvery-colored aura. Diana, in response, ordered to her Luna Freeze, "Special Move: Lunar Crystal Blizzard!!", and the Ultimate-type Bey responds to its mistress' command, generating a large, powerful gale of ice crystals from its V145 Spin Track. Arthur was awestruck by the ferocity of Diana's special move, but only for a second, as he then ordered to his Paladin Striker, "Masumai, cut your way through the blizzard!", as it responds, speeding towards the vortex of ice crystals, the blades of its FX Core glowing brighter, as it then tried to push Luna Freeze back towards the wall, only to get caught up in the gale. Masumai was helplessly tossed around inside the tornado, as its weapon got scratched by the ice crystals, some of which embedding themselves within the base of the FX Core. "Masumai, no!", yelled Arthur as he turned to Diana, "W-w-who the heck are you?!"
The Blader replied coldly, "The name is Diana, that's all you need to know.", as the battle ended with Masumai lying in the center of the arena, ice crystals embedded in it, and Luna Freeze dutifully returning to Diana's hand, as she headed up the stairs. This battle did not go unwitnessed, however, as many of the Battle Strikers players that were playing against each other stopped for that very moment to see it unfold. "Wow! Did you see that?!", asked one player with a shocked tone. His opponent replied, "Yeah, I did. I don't think I'd want to challenge her to a battle!". Jack was frightened by the damage done to Masumai, as he thought, "I wouldn't want to see this Diana girl here again for a while. She's scary and powerful, but I have to admit, she's as beautiful as a Snow Woman from those Japanese myths!".
The clerk heard the noise and was about to get to his underground StrikerDrome, when he saw Diana walking out of the door that led to it, her face as serious as ever. He was about to ask her about what had happened when he felt her chillingly-cold aura, and shivered, as the Blader walked out the door. She thought to herself, "Watch yourself, Alister Blackwood, I'm coming for you! When we finally meet for the second time, we'll have the rematch of the century! Just you wait and see!". Meanwhile, in the heavens, we see Mawashi, the Beyblade God, looking at the events that have transpired on a crystal ball, whose base is shaped like a Beyblade. The god thought to himself, "Things are going to go from bad to worse if the girl with that Ultimate-type and Alister meets again! But for now, I shall have to wait and see what would happen next!"
Chapter 11A End
So, how did I do on this one? Review and tell me what you think!