[Beyblade Story] Awakening Of The Soul
Ok first off, you may want to make this a bit more "child friendly."
Grammar and spelling need a lot of work, the plot jumps like a kangaroo with a sugar rush, and a lot of description would help.
Needs some work, but take my advice and it should improve.
Grammar and spelling need a lot of work, the plot jumps like a kangaroo with a sugar rush, and a lot of description would help.
Needs some work, but take my advice and it should improve.
I rewrote the first chapter and changed the name
its much sorter,but don't worry the rest of the chapters will be longer
its much sorter,but don't worry the rest of the chapters will be longer
Please fix the grammar.
I can't even read it properly.
I can't even read it properly.
Hmmm seems alright. Just some grammar problems like Wes!, that comma shouldn't be there. At least I don't think it should.