Hey guys, after all my cheesy stories, this one might be decent:
Chapter 1

Spoiler (Click to View)

Once upon a time- "Narrarator, why are we beginning with a cliché?" said Rex. I'm not sure Rex, blame the writer. As Rex ran he said under his breath, "Why, was, the bus on time, doesn't It know I'm always late?". Rex neared the school he goes to, he saw Frank and Billy, two bullies that probably wont play any role in this story. "Well look over here, Rex Jamison."said Frank. "Outta my way, Doofzilla and King Dumb."replied Rex. Not listening, Billy said "Frank, why is this nerd talking to you?". "I think we'll have to settle this." Frank said sternly. "My thoughts exactly." answered Rex. "3, 2, 1, LET IT RIP!" they said in unison as Rex's Grand Lynx 85 RF scraped the concrete ground and smack Billy's bey out of the stadium in seconds. Frank's Basalt Leone ED145B stayed in the middle of the concrete and spun quickly... Suddenly, Rex used his ultimate move. "Special Move: Grand Lynx Kitty Cannon!" Rex shouted as Lynx was surrounded by a red glowing energy. I'm taking the day off, Rex can narrate the next chapter, he is the main character after all.

I don't get it

Neither do I. But you might.

You may wanna make this story longer. Chapter 1 is WAY to short. Fix that or this thread may get removed.

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I Have No Idea What I'm Doing With My Life Right Now

Please make the story better and first i didnt understand what was it about care to explain

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Thanks BeybladeFreak for the great signature

Tell us a bit about the story. Who are the protagonists and you NEED to make it longer. Tell us a summary about the story like on the back of the books. This is NOT comedy. I don't mean to offend you with any of these things.

~X-Saber

This is actually kind of stupid, to be honest...

Seriously, if you make all of your stories like this, you minus well be banned from the Your Creations Forum...

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Come check out my Youtube Channel here! It's all about video games!

I'm so sorry, I wrote it in a notebook last night and I cant get access to my computer. I have all of chapter one in my journal an I will put it on as soon as I can get to a computer.
I am using my iPod.

Neither do I. But you might.

And that's your problem.

You have to actually understand the humor you're creating before you can make it. First. try to decide what kind of humor you want to use: Satire? Comedy? Corny?

After that, come up with jokes that you can use instead of just writing something that has the title of "funny" and hoping it's a joke-type-thingy.

Just some helpful pushing in the right direction.

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

Neither do I. But you might.

And that's your problem.

You have to actually understand the humor you're creating before you can make it. First. try to decide what kind of humor you want to use: Satire? Comedy? Corny?

After that, come up with jokes that you can use instead of just writing something that has the title of "funny" and hoping it's a joke-type-thingy.

Just some helpful pushing in the right direction.

I understand my jokes, I was just acting weird. But thanks for helping, even though I am a very bad writer.

Updated Chapter 1, check the OP. Sorry for double-posting.

I was following what you were writing to a certain extent...until the ending.

"...surrounded by feline energy, that stupid writer"
...
...
..What?...
You lost me there. Also, make sure to describe the "two bullies who have no importance to the general concept of the storyline" or whatever. Let us know what they look like, even if they look like idiots.

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

Basicly what Sparta said. You lost me at the end.

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I Have No Idea What I'm Doing With My Life Right Now

Okay, any questions will be answered in a post, not in the story. Sparta Frank and Billy are both football players, so they are muscular and slightly overweight. Frank has brown hair and has a high pitched voice for his size, Billy on the other hand has jet black hair and an extremely low voice because he is secretly in the choir at their school.

Sorry for double posting. I meant "That stupid writer" as the Narrarator was insulting me.
I will probably start writing chapter 2 in my notebook soon.

Okay, any questions will be answered in a post, not in the story.

I mean no offense personally, but that ruins the point of a story...

The art of story telling is finding a way to express yourself in writing and creating an alternate world in which we can envision and get sucked up in.

Describing your characters in a post defeats that.

That was a nice description, so include it in your story! I mean, I guess I have no place to be telling you what to do, but personally I don't see why you would write a description and then not put it in...

Sorry for double posting. I meant "That stupid writer" as the Narrarator was insulting me.

I'm still confused...

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"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

I don't get it

Ditto......

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Spoiler (Click to View)

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Daisuke Motomiya attached a moderator's notice to this user

Was warned for liking T.K. more then me.