World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

Beyblade: Redemption

Mar. 17, 2011  8:42 PM
 
When is the next chapter? I cant wait
Mar. 17, 2011  10:04 PM
 
(Mar. 17, 2011  8:42 PM)Chaotic_Blader Wrote: When is the next chapter? I cant wait

Sorry, I had a very busy day yesterday. It's halfway done though.
Mar. 17, 2011  10:06 PM
 
Ok. No problem ill wait as long as I have to. You should make a book :p
Mar. 19, 2011  3:49 AM
 
Chapter 5: The Rally City Tournament- Round 3!


I waited, my back aching from sitting on the metal bench for so long. In just an hour, the room had been wiped of nearly every person. Now, I could see every blader’s face. Determination burned in their eyes.
I saw the girl again, her cold face, and her black hair. I tried not to look at her, trying not to start a fight I wasn’t going to win. I looked over my shoulder to the other side of the room, where a familiar face stood. His blue hair clashed with the green paint that covered the walls, and his eyes seemed like empty oceans.
I fidgeted nervously as I played with Canis, looking at the scratches that now lined the gold metal. I hoped it wouldn’t do too much to affect the performance of the top, because I needed to win.
“OK, Bladers!” the familiar voice of the announcer said through the speakers. “It’s time to begin the Semi-Finals! Look on the screen, and you will see your opponents!”
My eyes turned to the television, others’ eyes following. I looked for my name, scanning through about twelve names in the process. My opponent’s name simply read, “Zane.” His name struck me as odd; it was the first time I heard such a name here in Japan. There was no surname next to it, either.
I slumped forwards and trekked to Stadium # 4; where my battle would take place. By now, hunger and sleepiness had become a part of me, overwhelming me every second of the day that passed. The pain subdued, and now I just have one worry on my mind: to win.
A boy about my age or a little bit older, stood in front of me in the stadium. Spiky, black hair slanted on one side of his face, and a serious look plagued his face. He wore a red jacket that overlaid a black t-shirt. Red jeans covered his legs, the bottom folded neatly. He pulled out a grip-like thing from his belt, and stood in position. I did so too, feeling sheepish at the fact I didn’t have the materials he had.
“Three!” I chanted, hearing Zane’s English accent distinctly through the voices.
“Two!” I said, routinely shoving the winder into the launcher I held in my hand.
“One!” I jammed Canis onto the prongs. “Gooooo, shooooooot!” I pulled out the winder just as hard as I slammed it in. My arms wept at the force I exerted, aching as it slumped down from pulling the winder.
Again, this opponent had a taller bey than mine, but I learned not to worry too much of it. The colors were a mixture of black and red, and it spun gently in the center, just as my previous opponent. Canis still continued its rapid circling movement, not making any progress on attacking the opponent.
A few seconds passed and Canis inched closer to the center, losing speed rapidly. I could see a grin make its way onto Zane’s face as his bey suddenly changed its rotation. The red flash slammed into mine and sent it to the edge, holding on, but barely.
“Don’t worry, Canis!” I yelled, “Gooo!”
Canis moved to the center slowly again, scraping the metal of my opponent. Again, he grinned coolly and he slammed his bey into mine. The process repeated itself multiple times, draining my spirit and strength away. But not only was my spirit drained, but Canis’ too. It spiraled sadly, being drained of its power every second.
“It’s time to finish this…” he said mysteriously, preparing for something seemingly powerful.
I have not gone this far for nothing, my mind beamed. I will never give up!
“Ok, Leone!” Zane cried out. “Destruction thrust!”
His top lunged towards mine at an incredible speed, and it would’ve been a K.O if it had made contact. But, it didn’t. I have no idea how. Zane’s bey just… missed. The power was so tremendous that it just flew out the stadium.
Zane stood there bewildered. His eyes flared with anger.
“B-but, but how?” I could hear him mumble under his breath. Even the announcer was confused.
“A-aaaaaand that concludes the Semi Final Round!” he cheered.
I just stood there; unmoving and still. Happiness flew into my veins, but I was awestruck.
Did my thoughts actually reach Canis?! I thought to myself. But, even I knew that was impossible.


Kinda short and suckish, but my writer's side was not "in touch" at the moment.
Mar. 19, 2011  1:14 PM
 
nice gives me somthing to do wen im bored Wink
also i loled at the end wen zanes bey jumped out the stadium lol
Mar. 19, 2011  8:52 PM
 
(Mar. 19, 2011  3:49 AM)NoodooSoup Wrote:
Chapter 5: The Rally City Tournament- Round 3!


I waited, my back aching from sitting on the metal bench for so long. In just an hour, the room had been wiped of nearly every person. Now, I could see every blader’s face. Determination burned in their eyes.
I saw the girl again, her cold face, and her black hair. I tried not to look at her, trying not to start a fight I wasn’t going to win. I looked over my shoulder to the other side of the room, where a familiar face stood. His blue hair clashed with the green paint that covered the walls, and his eyes seemed like empty oceans.
I fidgeted nervously as I played with Canis, looking at the scratches that now lined the gold metal. I hoped it wouldn’t do too much to affect the performance of the top, because I needed to win.
“OK, Bladers!” the familiar voice of the announcer said through the speakers. “It’s time to begin the Semi-Finals! Look on the screen, and you will see your opponents!”
My eyes turned to the television, others’ eyes following. I looked for my name, scanning through about twelve names in the process. My opponent’s name simply read, “Zane.” His name struck me as odd; it was the first time I heard such a name here in Japan. There was no surname next to it, either.
I slumped forwards and trekked to Stadium # 4; where my battle would take place. By now, hunger and sleepiness had become a part of me, overwhelming me every second of the day that passed. The pain subdued, and now I just have one worry on my mind: to win.
A boy about my age or a little bit older, stood in front of me in the stadium. Spiky, black hair slanted on one side of his face, and a serious look plagued his face. He wore a red jacket that overlaid a black t-shirt. Red jeans covered his legs, the bottom folded neatly. He pulled out a grip-like thing from his belt, and stood in position. I did so too, feeling sheepish at the fact I didn’t have the materials he had.
“Three!” I chanted, hearing Zane’s English accent distinctly through the voices.
“Two!” I said, routinely shoving the winder into the launcher I held in my hand.
“One!” I jammed Canis onto the prongs. “Gooooo, shooooooot!” I pulled out the winder just as hard as I slammed it in. My arms wept at the force I exerted, aching as it slumped down from pulling the winder.
Again, this opponent had a taller bey than mine, but I learned not to worry too much of it. The colors were a mixture of black and red, and it spun gently in the center, just as my previous opponent. Canis still continued its rapid circling movement, not making any progress on attacking the opponent.
A few seconds passed and Canis inched closer to the center, losing speed rapidly. I could see a grin make its way onto Zane’s face as his bey suddenly changed its rotation. The red flash slammed into mine and sent it to the edge, holding on, but barely.
“Don’t worry, Canis!” I yelled, “Gooo!”
Canis moved to the center slowly again, scraping the metal of my opponent. Again, he grinned coolly and he slammed his bey into mine. The process repeated itself multiple times, draining my spirit and strength away. But not only was my spirit drained, but Canis’ too. It spiraled sadly, being drained of its power every second.
“It’s time to finish this…” he said mysteriously, preparing for something seemingly powerful.
I have not gone this far for nothing, my mind beamed. I will never give up!
“Ok, Leone!” Zane cried out. “Destruction thrust!”
His top lunged towards mine at an incredible speed, and it would’ve been a K.O if it had made contact. But, it didn’t. I have no idea how. Zane’s bey just… missed. The power was so tremendous that it just flew out the stadium.
Zane stood there bewildered. His eyes flared with anger.
“B-but, but how?” I could hear him mumble under his breath. Even the announcer was confused.
“A-aaaaaand that concludes the Semi Final Round!” he cheered.
I just stood there; unmoving and still. Happiness flew into my veins, but I was awestruck.
Did my thoughts actually reach Canis?! I thought to myself. But, even I knew that was impossible.


Kinda short and suckish, but my writer's side was not "in touch" at the moment.

It wasnt suckish, it was good.
Mar. 20, 2011  6:18 PM
 
... Why do people quote an entire story just to say a one liner? Just post it by itself, or say Chapter 5 was .... or quote it like this:
NoodooSoup Wrote:Chapter 5: The Rally City Tournament- Round 3!
-story-
Then whatever you have to say. That's all.
Apr. 04, 2011  10:23 PM
 
When is the next chapter?
Apr. 08, 2011  12:08 AM
 
(Apr. 04, 2011  10:23 PM)EA3 Wrote: When is the next chapter?

I don't know, but not soon, since I have other things to worry about ^^;
Apr. 08, 2011  1:41 AM
 
Glad to hear that Grin
Apr. 17, 2011  2:32 AM
 
Next chapter is going to be up... who knows, eventually. But for now: a colored picture of his beyblade.
[Image: 2hrih7d.png]
Apr. 17, 2011  2:38 AM
 
Thats a cool blade. Cant wait till the chapter arrives XD
Apr. 17, 2011  1:28 PM
 
If you're still taking requests
Name: Xalpine Hall
Age: 17
Appearance: Spiky Red Hair, Red eyes, a black hoodie with a red crown in the upper left, black jeans, black shoes.
Beyblade: MF Iridium Cepheus TH170MWD/MXHF(Metal Wide Defense/Metal Extreme Hole Flat)
Description of Beyblade:
Type: Defense(Left Spin)
Bey Descripton:
Face: A Crown with Cepheus written under it
Energy Ring: The energy ring is black with three red lines running across it. It resembles eagle, although instead of wings, there are capes.
Fusion Wheel: Iridium is perfectly rounded, and is painted black. There are three red crowns engraved into it.
Spin Track: TH170, but painted black.
Performance Tip: A metal version of wide defense, that is covered by a extremely wide metal hole flat.
Personality: Always Calm, he never loses his temper.
Special Moves: Executioner: Cepheus launches itself into the air, and brings itself down onto the opposing bey. Using its weight, Cepheus forces the face bolt loose, and the opposing bey falls to pieces.
Jul. 31, 2011  2:31 PM
 
After months of not updating, I'm back! I've updated the OP so the chapters are all there, spaced it to make it easier to read, and fixed some errors. I am no longer accepting character requests, and I won't use your characters anymore! I can think of characters easily, and it makes it easier to manipulate the characters as I please when I make them. The next chapter should be up today or tommorow, so just wait Tongue_out
Aug. 02, 2011  3:14 AM
 
Sorry, slight delay in release Unhappy Just had to update and make some character profiles and whatnot.
Prev
Page 2