Chapter 1, Jake Toshiko is here!

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One day, two bladers were battling in park.
“Go Sagittario!” blader yelled.
“Don’t give up!” another blader yelled.
Blader had Burn Sagittario 145 S and another blader had Fury Aries SW145 RF.
The bey’s were clashing to others, and then one bey flew to arena.
It raged on the arena and wined the match.
“What the!” blader yelled.
“Who’s there?” asked another blader.
Then blader with white jacket, jeans, black shoes, brown eyes and silver spiky hair.
“Im Jake, Jake Toshiko!” blader yelled and showing awesome-mark.
The bey what Jake was using was Galaxy Susanoow 105 F.
“I and my partner are here to fight best blader on this park!” Jake said.
“Then… Battle me…” Mysterious voice said.
Guy with a black jacket, red jeans, blue shoes, red eyes and black spiky hair.
“A-a-aa… SEE YOU TOMORROW! Jake yelled and left.
“Hehe…” the mysterious guy laughed.
The two bladers were following Jake to town.
“Hey, Jake!” Another blader yelled.
Jake stopped and turned to look.
“Your opponent isn’t easy to win.” Another blader said.
“You two are from park?” Jake asked.
“Yes, im Thomas and that’s Ken.” Another blader said.
Thomas had glasses brown hair, blue vest, black pants and red shoes.
Ken had black spiky hair, blue jacket, white pants, green eyes and black shoes.
“Okay, so you two know about the big monster, who I am battling?” Jake asked.
“Yes, he is Peter, hes launching power is 10 times bigger than your, so we need to train it.”
“Okay!” Jake said.

Chapter 2, Jake VS Peter.

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Jake was training his bey the whole day.
Next day, Jake went to park and saw Peter.
“You are finally here…” Peter said.
“Yes, I am.” Jake answered.
Jake takes his launcher grip and light launcher 2.
“Now, Susanow let’s do this!” Jake said to Susanoow.
“Three!” Jake said.
“Two!” Peter said.
“One!” Ken and Thomas said.
“LET IT RIIP!” Jake and Peter said and launched.
Peter’s bey was Cyclone Gil GB145 SF.
“Go Gil!” Peter yelled and Cyclone Gil pushed Susanoow to edge.
“Susanoow!” Jake yelled and Susanoow was circling around the stadium.
“Now! Special Move Sky Blade!” Jake yelled, but nothing happened.
“Hehhee! Amateur! Laughed Peter.
Cyclone Gil was pushing Susanoow again.
“Don’t give up, Susanoow!” Jake yelled and Susanoow started to glow.
Susanoow was pushing Gil back.
“You think you’re so smart…But you’re not!” Peter yelled and Gil striked Susanoow to the edge.
“Show what were learned!” Thomas yelled.
“Okay!” Jake yelled and Susanoow dashed into center of stadium.
“You’re pretty good… But not enough… SPECIAL MOVE! GIL KILLER!” Peter yelled and Gil raised from Peters bey and was dashing into Galaxy Susanoow.
“What I can do? What can I do?... Of course! “ Jake thinked.
“Special move…” Jake started.
“No don’t! We haven’t learn it!” Ken yelled.
“SKY LIGHT!” Jake yelled and light raised from Susanoow into sky and Susanoows Revolution speed was 10,000 and Susanoow dashed into Cyclone Gil and Gil was out.
“Di-i-d i-I ju-just lo-lo-lose?” Peter said and fainted.
The crowd dashed to Jack and started to ask everything.
“That was awesome!” Ken said.
“Thanks!” Jake thanked and high-fived with Thomas and Ken.

Chapter 3, Beyblade Park Tournament part 1

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Next day, Jake saw a tournament in park.
“What is happening?” Jake asked from Thomas, who was there.
“This year’s beyblade park tournament. “, Thomas answered.
“Oh, yeah!” Jake said and run into enter desk.
“My name is Jake Toshiko, and I enter to this tournament!” Jake said.
“Okay…” the people on enter desk answered.
Jake went to look in trainings and saw someone without an opponent.
“Hey, you! Do you want to battle?” Jake asked.
“Okay!” guy answered happily.
They went to stadium and started the countdown.
“3…” Jake said with launcher grip.
“2…” guy said.
“1…” both said.
“LEET IT RIIP!” both yelled and launched.
Guy’s beyblade was Inferno Fireblaze SW145 SF.
“Attack, Fireblaze!” guy yelled and Fireblaze started to dash into Susanoow.
“Dodge, Susanoow!” Jake yelled and Susanoow dodged.
“Hehe… SPECIAL MOVE! Phoenix Wings!” Guy yelled and Phoenix raised from Fireblaze and Phoenix’s wing’s started to glow and Phoenix started to dash into Susanoow.
“Susanoow! Special Move! Sky Light!” Jake yelled and Susanoow’s special move activated.
Phoenix and Susanoow striked each other’s and Fireblaze stopped spinning and Susanoow was still spinning.
“Yea!” Jake said.
When training ended, the first round started.
First match was Ken Hatakoro vs. Jay Itsoka.
Ken and Jay walked into stadium, taked launchers and started the countdown.
“3…” Ken said.
“2…” Jay said.
“3…” crowd said.
“Let it Rip!” both yelled and launched.
“Go, Burn Sagittario!” Ken yelled.
Jay’s bey was Thunder Striker 145 D.
“Defend, Striker!” Jay yelled.

Chapter 4, Beyblade Park Tournament 2

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Kens Burn Sagittario dashed into Striker, but Striker didn’t take damage.
Thomas was watching the match with Jake and Thomas said:
“ Thunder Striker haves good defense, because of the Thunder metal wheel and the D-performance tip.”
“ Wow, Thomas I didn’t know that you are a nerd!” Jake said to Thomas.
“Now is time to ATTAACK!” Jay yelled and Striker started to strike Sagittario, and because of S-performance tip, Sagittario started to lose spin power.
Striker was pushing Sagittario in the edge of the arena.
“Ken! You can do iit!” Jake yelled to Ken.
“Okay, Jake… I guess…” Ken answered.
“WHOOOOOOAAAAAA! Special Move, Burning Clash!” Ken yelled and Sagittario started to glow and Sagittario clashed into Striker and Striker was out.
Ken came into prepairing room and started to prepair Sagittario, then he saw Jake.
“Good match, Ken!” Jake said.
“Thanks, Jake.” Ken answered.
“Next is Jake Toshiko VS Alex Extessayen!” Blader DJ said.
“Ready, Galaxy Susanoow?” Jake said looking to Susanoow.
Jake came into the stadium and Alex came too.
Alex had Launcher Grip with orange Light Launcher and he had Cyber Libra SW145 F.
“3…” Jake said.
“2…” the blader dj said.
“1…” the crowd said.
“LET IT RIP!” both said and launched.
Galaxy Susanoow was circling on the stadium and Libra on the center.
“Libra, Lightning Tornado!” Alex yelled and Libra was circling like Susanoow, but faster.
Libra clashed into Susanoow and Susanoow flew into the edge.
“Go, Susanoow!” Jake yelled and Susanoow clashed into Libra.
“What the?!” Alex said when Libra flew from the arena.

Chapter 5, Beyblade Park Tournament 3

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Jake went into prepairing room to fix some scratches from Susanoow.
Jake was fixing his Susanoow when Thomas said:
“Look, Jake!”
“What!?” Jake asked.
In the TV two peoples were walking into the stadium.
“Now,Zeke Endesten VS. Marta Rainfern!” Blader DJ said in the TV.
The battle started and in 1 second Zeke’s beyblade was out.
The round 2 started and there was only eight blader’s.
First it was Jake Toshiko VS. Larry Greenrose.
Larry was using Rock Cancer SW145 R2F.
“3” Blader DJ said.
“2” Jake said.
“1” Larry said.
“Leet iit rip!” both yelled.
“Go Cancer!” Larry yelled and Cancer started to dash into Susanoow.
“Go Susanoow!” Jake yelled and both started to strike each other’s.
“So… The Dark wheel is good attack wheel so, Susanoow isn’t very good to attack it…” Thomas said to Ken.
When Cancer was attacked to Susanoow enough, Larry yelled:
“Special move! Rock Scissors!” and Cancer started to glow and it dashed into Susanoow.
“Of course!” Jake started. “Galaxy has good attack too!”.
“SUSANOOW! SPECIAL MOVE, SKYYYY LIGHT!” Jake yelled and Susanoow used his special move and big explosion came.
Both beys were spinning badly.
“Go Cancer!” Larry said, but cancer stopped.

Chapter 6, Beyblade Park Tournament 4

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“That was awesome!” Ken said to Jake when he came into the preparing room.
“Thanks, Ken!” Jake answered.
When Ken’s turn started, he battled Marta.
“Now, listen, even because you’re cute I’m not going to be easy!” Ken said to Marta.
“Well see!” Marta answered.
Both did take launchers.
Marta had red hair, white vest and red skirt and blue eyes and she had Basalt Virgo GB145 S.
“Go Sagittario!” Ken yelled and Sagittario dashed into Virgo.
“Your attack power is too low! Hee!” Marta laughed.
Sagittario was attacking Virgo, but Virgo had great defense, so Sagittario didn’t make good damage.
“You can do it!” Ken yelled and Sagittario dashed into Virgo, but Virgo did move only 0,2 cm.
“What a little bug, let’s end this Virgo!” Marta said Virgo started to glow and it exploded.
Sagittario was tumbling and losing power.
“Pretty good…” Marta started.
“Thanks…” Ken answered.
“But not enough!” Marta yelled and power raised from Virgo and it made a giant wave what knocked Sagittario out.
Ken took his Sagittario and walked out from the tournament.
The round 3 started and they we’re semi-finals.
First was Marta Rainfern VS. Lunar Blader.
“So, who is this “Lunar Blader”?” Jake asked from Thomas.
“No-one doesn’t know, he is just some blader, but he is very good with his Dark Pisces UW145 R2F, it has good attack power.” Thomas answered.
Marta and Lunar Blader walked into the stadium and both took their launchers.
“3…” Marta said.
“2…” Lunar Blader said.
“1…” the crowd said.
“LET IT RIP!” both yelled and launched.
Dark Pisces was following Virgo and striked it when they was close.
“Hehe! Little fishy!” Marta laughed and striked Pisces into the edge.
“Hah…” Lunar Blader laughed silenty.
Pisces dashed into Virgo again and it started to make scratches into Virgo.
“Hey! SPECIAL MOVE!” Marta yelled, but nothing happened.
“Virgo is starting to broke, so he doesn’t have much power…” Lunar Blader answered with mysterious voice.
“NOW!” Lunar Blader yelled and Pisces striked Virgo into pieces.
“Looks like Lunar Blader is going into the finals!” Blader DJ said.

Chapter 7, Beyblade Park Tournament 5

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“Lunar Blader is good, if I go to finals, could I win him?” Jake was thinking.
“Next is Jake Toshiko VS. William Lender!” Blader DJ said.
Jake and William walked into the stadium and countdown started.
“3…” William said.
“2…” Jake said.
“1…” blader dj said.
“LET IT RIP!” both yelled and launched.
William’s beyblade was Counter Aquario 100 D.
“Go Susanow!” Jake yelled and Susanow dashed into Aquario, what was sitting in the center of the stadium.
Susanow was striking Aquario, but then William said:
“I’m not easy as the others…”
Aquario started to push Susanow to the edge.
“What is this!?I’ve never seen so much power in bey… I just need to focus…” Jake was thinking.
“Now push him over the edge!” William said, but nothing happened.
“What the?” William continued.
“Just need to focus!” Jake said and Susanow was hitting on Aquario to the center of the stadium.
“Strike, Susanow!” Jake yelled and Susanow dashed into Aquario, and same thing happened again.
“What is this! Even my powers aren’t good as this!” Jake was thinking.
“Special Move! Water Spikes!” William yelled and Aquario started his special move.
Big waterfall came into the stadium and Susanow started to be on it and getting scratches.
“NOO!!! SUSANOW!” Jake shouted and Susanow started to glow and started to fight back.
Susanow clashed into Aquario, explode came and Aquario was knocked out.
“We did i…” Jake started, but when he saw Susanow, he surprised, because it didn’t have scratches.
“Yea, Susanow! We are the best!” Jake said.
“Don’t be excited yet, kid.” mysterious voice said.
“We need to battle.” Lunar Blader said to Jake.

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Oh, hello there!


Help my Draccuon to grown!
Don't let it die :(

Nice job! Remember to capitalize names and "I". It would make the story easier to read if you put spaces in-between lines. Also, make sure that you give your characters personalities, or the story will become boring.

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Eh a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes

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more description please? Nice story otherwise.

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https://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Beyblad...pid1530998

PLEASE READ MY STORY PLEASE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Im Finnish so the english MS Word is hard to use, because i don't always get the things...

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New chapter!

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Oh, hello there!


Help my Draccuon to grown!
Don't let it die :(

ahhhh,
heres a tip

[ spoiler ] don't put spaces in between the half boxes

[ /spoiler ]

should be like this

Spoiler (Click to View)

hi

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https://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Beyblad...pid1530998

PLEASE READ MY STORY PLEASE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ahhhh,
heres a tip

[ spoiler ] don't put spaces in between the half boxes

[ /spoiler ]

should be like this

Spoiler (Click to View)

hi

Okay! I used it

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Oh, hello there!


Help my Draccuon to grown!
Don't let it die :(

Awesome, mai frend!
We had awesome battle today!
Only stypid in that was i losed it!

Chapter 4 is out!

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Oh, hello there!


Help my Draccuon to grown!
Don't let it die :(