World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

Bey story- The story of the forgotten bey constellation- Chameleon's Challenge

Jun. 28, 2012  4:23 PM
 
Various spelling mistakes, but otherwise, good story

My character request

Name: Daniel Grace (male, just call him Dan G)
Bey: Ray Beater ED145BS (Balance)
Bey Bit-Beast: Giant purple falcon wearing earphones.
Clothes: Wears a black beanie, Purple jacket with gold outlines, purple tights, and black boots.
Persona: Smart but a bit cocky. A good friend to anyone he befriends.
History:Got into Beyblade since 5 years old with his Clay Aries. But retrieved his own bey later.
Jun. 28, 2012  6:19 PM
 
character-Tamyuson
beyblade AURA YETTI GB145 CB
(the performance tip,CB is for Cut Ball.it's a ball with a straight cut and the tip looks more like a screw)
Tamyuson is a very quiet guy.His family left Japan when the Final Battle had started between gingka and rago.he lives in Germany in a mountainous region
he chooses to remain quiet and has a strong connection with his bey
he has black hair with white coloured hair and is pretty muscular.
.
.
well,i found your story a bit boring,but sorry,truth!
Jun. 29, 2012  3:18 AM
 
The spelling mistakes are not my fault. The computer is stupid so it puts the wroung spelling. Also, because I am at the beach and school starts Monday ): I will not be able to post new chapters as frequently as I have been right now. I just wanted to tell you so the thread does not get cluttered with 1 sentence posts asking when the chapter will be. Have a good day and have an even better summer.
(Jun. 28, 2012  2:27 PM)ChinaBladeâ„¢ Wrote: Why do I feel this is based on my story....

I am not copying you in any way ChinaBlade. Their are hundreds of stories like this on the forum.
Jun. 29, 2012  7:47 PM
 
Fun Fact: All of the names for the Russan team are real Russan names
Jul. 02, 2012  8:47 PM
 
[I had a wonderful time at the beach and am ready to start a new chapter, Alecia starts the round off, oh and before I forget, the chapters from here on in will not only have a title but a featured bey as well]

Chapter 6- The Cold and Mysterious Russian Family
Featured Bey(s): Storm Delphinus (a simple sky blue bey with a dark blue dolphin logo on the facebolt)

In the stadium hundreds of Russian Bladers are screaming on the top of their lungs when the Russian DJ appears.
"Zdravstvuj my friends and welcome to to the first round of the World BeyBlade Championship 2.0. The first battle will be Germany's Alicia against our home teams Maksim.
"You can do it Alicia" said Emerson
"Don't go over your head" warned Nathan
Alicia and Maksim walked up to the dark blue stadium
"All right, unlike what happened with Anton and our team last year, this will be a fair match... I hope"
"3..." yelled the crowd
"2..." said Alicia
"1..." responded Maksim
"LET IT RIP" everyone said together
Both Ray Lynx and Storm Delphinus zoomed into the stadium and started chasing each other
"Il start this off with a bang, Special Move, Tidal Wave Splashdown"
Delphinus glowed a bright blue and then a huge wave appeared and was about to crash down on Lynx
"Maksim, what are you doing? Using your special move so early will leave you out in the open" yelled Anastas
"Like I'm gonna let that happen, Special Move Polar Cat Ripper"
"I don't think this stadium will be able to surivive two special moves at once" said the DJ
He was right. Cracks were already appearing in the stadium but nobody but him noticed
Lynx was easily able to dodge the attack but not before seeing what the cracks were forming to look like... a crane
"Hey Anastas, did you know anything about this? How come your little brother is working for Albion?
"I have no idea? Maksim, why would you work for someone like that creep?
Maksim said nothing
It shows a wide shot of the stadium with the crane cut into it and faids out

[Looks like things are getting tense. Why is Maksim, the youngest of the Russian team/family working for Albion and what did he promise in return? We're just going to have to find out next time, and you will be able to see the end if the battle]

Jul. 03, 2012  5:31 PM
 
where is my charcter HMMMM!?
Jul. 04, 2012  2:06 AM
 
When's my character going to show up huh
Jul. 05, 2012  5:27 AM
 
Hold your hoarse's people. I went back to the beach again for the 4th so I'm tired. I'll put your characters in other teams so you just have to wait.
Jul. 05, 2012  12:16 PM
 
Yo guys, your so impatient. Writers need time to plan out a story so you can't just go around demanding characters expecting it to appear 5 seconds later. Learn patience and then request.
Jul. 06, 2012  12:04 PM
 
(Jul. 05, 2012  12:16 PM)Shirayuki Wrote: Yo guys, your so impatient. Writers need time to plan out a story so you can't just go around demanding characters expecting it to appear 5 seconds later. Learn patience and then request.

I agree, "HMMMMM?" and "huh" really makes me want to know what is really happening. Anyways, guys be patient, ALU is a solo writer and he takes business into his own hands, unless he has several co-writers and then I wouldn't be making this post
Jul. 06, 2012  10:16 PM
 
[For the record, I AM a solo writer and I have to think up all of the chapters on my own, mixed with the fact that I had my first week of school, I would not have that much time would I? Anyway heres the next chapter. Maksim tells a story and we learn what Albion wants with different bladers around the world]

IMPORTANT FLASHBACK MUST READ


Chapter 7- Delphinus's Story and Albion's Plan
Featured Bey(s)- Storm Delphinus

The crane carved into the dark green stadium is shown.
"I dont have to explain anything, I was the youngest, the weakest" he was almost driven to tears "It was by pure luck and the love of their brother that my family had that I was able to get on the team..."

FLASHBACK BEGINS

"Hey kid, your the weakest blader in all of Russia" a gangster said as he pushed Maksim down
"Yea, theirs no way that you will make it into the championships" smirked his buddy
"And why not? He's a Russian blader and my brother" a voice questioned behind them
"Whats it to you buddy?
He looked up an immediatly looked scared
"Their's no way, how can this runt can be the brother of Anastas Rabinovitch, the strongest blader in all of Russia" he said as he launched his bey
"Hm, wont leave my family alone eh well im going to show you what happens when you mess with the Rabinovitch family, LET IT RIP"
He launched Thermal Aries and it easily knocked away the gangster's bey
"I don't want to see you useless trash around here again, you hear me"
The two thugs went off running
"Are you ok Maksim?" he asked
"Im fine, but their right Anastas. There's no way Il make it on on the team with you and Halina'
"Hey do'nt say that sort of thing. I know you'l be one of the best bladers in the world. We'll make Russia proud"
Maksim smiled "YEA" he yelled as he ran off to the stadium
"Hey, wait up"

"We have our team. The wonderful bladers that are going to show the rest of the world what Russia is capable of are Anastas, Halina, and Maksim Rabinovitch." Yelled the Russian DJ "They are going to be facing the German team who are going to be comming here so were starting of with a home game"
"You did it Maksim, I always knew you would but this has shown you what you are capable of" a happy Anastas told his brother
"He's right Maksim, but I can make you even stronger then you are now. ." said Albion walking up on to the stadium "Just come with me to the Sky Fortress and those nasty people on the streets won't even think about messing with you"
"Il do it" said Macsim
"Their is just one thing I need to do to get you all set. Turn around and take your shirt and face your back to me"
"Like this?"
"That's it, now hold still...."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH"

A FLASH OF WHITE AS THE FLASHBACK ENDS AND GO'S BACK TO THE PRESENT

"So you see, the power I have gained in the last couple of weeks since then have been a payment to Master Albion"
He took of his shirt and showed a complicated tatoo of a crane on his back
"I know now that to keep my family safe I MUST NOT LOSE THIS BATTLE"


[So you know why Maksim is working for Albion now. Kind of sad thinking that he is the weak link that drags everybody down isn't it? I will be closing character requests. I have been getting request after request (honestly, is that all you guys/girls do on this site? It's filling up my mailbox) while I have'nt heard any real opinion of my story at all lately]
Jul. 10, 2012  3:40 AM
 
Sorry for double posting BUT NOONE HAS SAID A WORD SINCE I POSTED THE LAST CHAPTER. Come on, I mean tell me anything.
Jul. 10, 2012  5:17 AM
 
Good story by far
Jul. 10, 2012  12:29 PM
 
You might want to also put the stories in spoilers all in the op.

But good story so far, there are some grammar spellings but overall good story.
Jul. 15, 2012  9:05 PM
 
you might want to put your chapters in spoilers. and it would be more organized if you put all of your chapters in the first post.
Jul. 20, 2012  5:04 AM
 
great story! keep up the good work. plz-(sees flamingfruy) er, I mean, Please?
Mar. 27, 2013  3:10 PM
 
this story is soooooooooooooo awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mar. 28, 2013  3:32 PM
 
name:krishni mogundas [indian team]
bey : flash serpent 105es
bio: her parents vigorousely trained her
attitude:flashy showoffish
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