An original beyblade story

Poll: Hows the story?

amazing
12.50%
1
good
25.00%
2
ok
25.00%
2
needs work
37.50%
3
bad
0%
0
Total: 100% 8 vote(s)
Ok so if anyone knows me they know how much i love original beyblades so im gonna write a story about them. I will take a maximum of 5 character requests. So here we go-

Chapter 1
I dont want to spend much time thinking of a chapter name so i wont.


Chapter 2
(for title, see chapter 1)


Chapter 3
Plan of Attack

Sorry for the double post but here is what you need for your character request-
Name-
Gender-
Age-
Beyblade-
Bio-
Your chapters should be quite longer.
Seems like it's all bunched up. I like the dialogue, but it's all scrunched up, and kinda hard for me to understand...
Your "Chapters" seem to short to even call them "Parts" instead.
You didn't explain any back story, any of the settings, any of the characters, nothing.
Heck, for all we know, these could be Porcupines playing with a children's toy.
thanks for the advice everybody. I'll try to improve my story.

Chapter 2
(for title, see chapter 1)

"Lets battle!" The guy who walked out of the trees was short. Really short. His hair looked like he had been asleep for a month or two. His eyes were a stunning green and he had a suit on.
"Who are you anyway?" Logan asked.
"Thats for me to know...and you to find out." Logan rolled his eyes.
"How many times have I heard that one." he mumbled as he attached Seaborg to his launcher. The weird corner-hiding-cliche-movie-dude took out his beyblade and launcher. Logan had never seen the blade before.
"3! 2! 1! Let it Rip!" the two blades clashed before they even hit the ground. They flew backwards on impact with the ground.
"Go Seaborg!"
"Attack Psycher!" The two beyblades hit but Seaborg began pushing Psycher towards the edge.
"We're just getting started! Psycher! Telepathic teleport!" A strange beast came out of the weird guys blade. Logan couldn't describe it. it looked like a jumble of wisps and blobs and stuff. Suddenly, the beast charged for him. He braced himself for impact. Instead of getting hit, he felt a strange jolt of happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, and loneliness all at once.
"Wha-whats happening?" Logan grabbed his head and fell to the ground. His whole life began to unfold in front of him. His birth, his first word (jiggle), his first step, his first day of school, then. As if he was watching t.v. and the plug got pulled, everything stopped. He felt like he was being searched. He didn't know how, or why, but he did know who. What was with that bit beast? Then one scene flashed in front of him. He shuddered in fear and tried to scream. Nothing happened. It was like a dream. Like a nightmare. He saw himself. He was about 6 years old. He had just battled a friend of his.
"Darn I lost!" the past Logan muttered.
"Thats all right, it was a good battle." his friend, Kris, had been watching.
"All you gotta do is practice."
"Thanks, what would I do without you." Logan laughed. Suddenly, two men in dark blue uniforms walked up to Kris.
"Are you Kris Taren?"
"Yu-huh, why?"
"Your coming with us to train."
"I have to ask my paren-" the two men grabbed him and covered his mouth.
"What're you doing with him!?" Logan yelled.
"None of your business. Now keep your mouth shut or you'll come to. Just not for the same reason as your buddy here." Logan stared, knees shaking, as the two men carried his best friend away. He couldn't do anything now, but later-
"I'll find you! I'll save you!"
Suddenly, he felt like he was being torn apart.
"Kris!" he screamed. Logan opened his eyes. He was no longer in the dream, but in real life. And Seaborg was right next to him. Defeated. The boy he battled before walked up to him.
"Logan, who's Kris? What're you talking about?"
"What...what just happened?"
The bit beast attacked and you just sorta stood...frozen almost. He defeated you. We yelled you're name. You didn't respond. Then...you just randomly yelled 'Kris'. What was that all about?"
"I-I don't know. Hey! Where is that creep anyway?"
"He left after beating you. He left his beyblade but it...followed him. What a weirdo."
"Yah...well I better be heading home." Logan picked up his blade and walked away. As the sun set. Logan clutched his blade.
"Kris...Kris...where are you?"
I love the fact that you use the phrase 'Let it rip!' instead of 'Go Shooooot!', which drives me absolutely insane. You have a good story with an interesting plot, but try to give your characters more personality and depth, and give your story even more length.

I suggest you put every chapter in the OP and put each one in a good old spoiler, like this (but without the spaces):

[ spoiler ]story[/ spoiler ]

It should work like this:

Chapter 3 is up.