MY story

Poll: About my story?

Awesome
66.67%
2
Fine
0%
0
So bad it scould be closed
33.33%
1
Total: 100% 3 vote(s)
One night a blader called Ike with the Ray Horologium 135HF. He was no pro blader, but was pretty strong. "Yeah! I won!! Awesome!" he scouted every time he won. But one day it was a mystical guy in the Bey stadium. He was just standing in the stadium.
He had cover up all of he's body except the eyes. They were brown. "My name is Tsetsui" he said. "Look at my bey" in Tsetsui's hand there was Death Escolpio 85S. Tsetsui jumped out of the stadium.
"Let's fight!" said Ike. "3......2......1 GOOOOOOOOOOOO SHOOT!" they both scouted. Horologium was circling around while Escolpio was just standing in the middle of the stadium. " I gonna finish this fast" he said. "Go, Escolpio! Death Slash!" he said. Then Escolpio began to move. He tried to smash Horologium. Ike was too fast for him. "Go! Avoid the attack!" he scouted to Horologium. Horologium dashed into the middle of the stadium. Then when escolpio began to move in circles after the special move. Then Ike attacked Escolpio. Escolpio started to get wobbly. "Now i'll finish this! Esclopio Terror Desert Attack!" he he scouted really high. End of chapter 1
Chapter 2: Then it started raining sand from a place in the roof. Scorpions too. Ike's Horologium was stuck in sand. "I can't move!" Ike cried. " I gonna save you. My name's Rob" said a voice behind Ike. "You..You.." Tsestui said. "Go Leone!" Rob launched his Poison Leone 115F. " Go back to Egypt, Tsetsui!" He said, as his Leone dashed fast in the sand. "Leone's Wild Rage!" Rob scouted. Then he stadium outed Death Escolpio. "I gonna take my revenge" Tsetsui cried. Rob was running away. End of Chapter 2.
Chapter three: Ike was at school. He wanted to beyblade. After school a guy with an Orso-symbol on his back came to him. "Ma name's Mike!" he said in a strange way. "Look at my bey!!!". The Bey was Burn Orso D125SD. Then it came an other guy with an Orso-symbol on his back, but he wasn't so hyper as Mike. "My name is Ikaro Kumade. Mike is my brother. Look at my bey" Ikaro said, as he showed his Burn Orso D125WD. " Ma bey is Burn Orso Chaos version" Mike said. "And mine is stamina" said Ikaro."3.......2........1..........Goooooooooooo shoot!" They all scouted. End of chapter 3 Chapter 4: "STOOOOOP!" someone scouted from behind them, right before they launched. It was Ike's friend Shiri. "Let me come and battle too! Two vs. Two, right? he said. "And again" Mike said pretty bored. "3..............2....................1 GOOOOOOOOOOOO SHOOT!" they all scouted. Shiri has Killer Aquario 100HF/S. "Horologium!" Ike scouted."Gatling mode!". And Horologium started to get realley agressive. He attack Burn Orso D125WD. But no effect. "Mike, let me finish this" Ikaro said."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Shiri scouted really high, an he is a master when it comes to screaming, but not so good when it comes to beyblade. " Let me use my special move: Killer Destruction Attack!" Shiri scouted. But he missed with 2 inches. " Burn Orso combine attack!" The two Kumade brothers scouted. end of chapter 4
Could you add this blader:
Name: Rob
Beyblade: Poison Leone 115F
A strong blader.
Chapter 2: Then it started raining sand from a place in the roof. Scorpions too. Ike's Horologium was stuck in sand. "I can't move!" Ike cried. " I gonna save you. My name's Rob" said a voice behind Ike. "You..You.." Tsestui said. "Go Leone!" Rob launched his Poison Leone 115F. " Go back to Egypt, Tsetsui!" He said, as his Leone dashed fast in the sand. "Leone's Wild Rage!" Rob scouted. Then he stadium outed Death Escolpio. "I gonna take my revenge" Tsetsui cried. Rob was running away. End of Chapter 2.
I don't gonna make more of this story sorry
Why? This is the best story ive ever read Unhappy
Must not have read many stories sonic...
I ment the stories in the WBO.
okay i will make more
Chapter three: Ike was at school. He wanted to beyblade. Then a guy with an Orso-symbol on his back. "Ma name's Mike!" he said in a strange way. "Look at my bey!!!". The Bey was Burn Orso D125SD. Then it came an other guy with an Orso-symbol on his back, but he wasn't so hyper as Mike. "My name is Ikaro Kumade. Mike is my brother. Look at my bey" Ikaro said, as he showed his Burn Orso D125WD. " Ma bey is Burn Orso Chaos version" Mike said. "And mine is stamina" said Ikaru."3.......2........1..........Goooooooooooo shoot!" They all scouted. End of chapter 3
Did you just say you would quit simply to get people to say that it was the best story ever? It makes no sense, there is no plot, and the chapters are way too short. Read some of Night's stuff, or even God's Pawn, and you'll see the difference. This can be rectified, but a huge overhaul would be needed. Sorry if it is offensive, but I wish to see a lot of good stories, and not a few rarely updated Role Playing threads. Try to make this longer, is my advice.
(Jan. 25, 2011  5:55 AM)Hypersonic Wrote: I ment the stories in the WBO.

Yeah. Still. Plenty of good ones out there.
(Jan. 25, 2011  5:19 AM)Hypersonic Wrote: Why? This is the best story ive ever read Unhappy

Then chances are you have only read one or two stories.
(Jan. 28, 2011  10:39 PM)Megablader9 Wrote: Did you just say you would quit simply to get people to say that it was the best story ever? It makes no sense, there is no plot, and the chapters are way too short. Read some of Night's stuff, or even God's Pawn, and you'll see the difference. This can be rectified, but a huge overhaul would be needed. Sorry if it is offensive, but I wish to see a lot of good stories, and not a few rarely updated Role Playing threads. Try to make this longer, is my advice.

I did say i wanna quit because i didn't have any ispiration, but then i found it.
And i don't like writing so much at the same time.
Sorry posted half of chapter 4 don't have to much time and you megablader9, aren't mods or something like you supposed to be nice. You hurt my feelings. Don't you have anything else to do? You are just bothering me.
Posted rest of part 4!