When You Are Engulfed in Flame

I realize this isn't the best place to share things like this, but I'm doing it anyway. Tongue_out

"When You Are Engulfed in Flame"

You sat perched in your comfortable nest
Gently nursing your bent and broken wing
Tucked tightly against your red, beating chest
Chirping with the voice you couldn't spare to sing

I held you tenderly in my worn hands
With every intention to see you fly
Far over foreign and familiar lands
Before making your home in the blue sky

Don't forget, when you are next engulfed in flame
That I will be there by your weary side
To remind you of the beauty you became
And to restore in you your brightening pride
wow that was beautiful..i have a feeling this is related to ur avatar lol
I give It A thumbs UpDJ 2002 - Yeah!
(Jan. 09, 2011  5:09 AM)mesorangerxx Wrote: wow that was beautiful..i have a feeling this is related to ur avatar lol

Not at all, actually.

It's a metaphor for a relationship. Smile
....wow....that was amazing....
I appreciate the compliments guys, but if you're going to comment you should probably include something other than "amazing" in your post, otherwise it's technically spam.
Ah, you mentioned that your boyfriend was a pilot, right? Makes sense that you would choose a cardinal (I'd want to guess that since you picked a red chest) if this is a metaphor for a relationship.

I like the iambic pentameter. It's difficult to use that and still have a poem make sense, let alone beautiful like this.
That is deep stuff.....

is this about Tsubasa and that eagle he saved??

Love it
(Jan. 10, 2011  2:02 AM)Deikailo Wrote: Ah, you mentioned that your boyfriend was a pilot, right? Makes sense that you would choose a cardinal (I'd want to guess that since you picked a red chest) if this is a metaphor for a relationship.

Ding ding ding! It's sort of a role reversal, however... I painted myself as the injured bird.

Deikailo Wrote:I like the iambic pentameter. It's difficult to use that and still have a poem make sense, let alone beautiful like this.

This is my favorite form. It challenges me enough when writing, but keeps the words concise and to the point, so as not to get lost in flashy wordplay where the meaning of what I want to say isn't evident.
Wow... Very, very good. If I could do this well with poems I could be the next Walt Whitman! I already have the last name. But by the looks of it you will beat me to it.
(Jan. 10, 2011  2:08 AM)Roan Wrote:
(Jan. 10, 2011  2:02 AM)Deikailo Wrote: Ah, you mentioned that your boyfriend was a pilot, right? Makes sense that you would choose a cardinal (I'd want to guess that since you picked a red chest) if this is a metaphor for a relationship.

Ding ding ding! It's sort of a role reversal, however... I painted myself as the injured bird.

Deikailo Wrote:I like the iambic pentameter. It's difficult to use that and still have a poem make sense, let alone beautiful like this.

This is my favorite form. It challenges me enough when writing, but keeps the words concise and to the point, so as not to get lost in flashy wordplay where the meaning of what I want to say isn't evident.
I've been writing in iambic pentameter is I was in 8th grade, but for other reasons. I absolutely love math and I'm a horrible writer without it. I use it as sort of a puzzle since I really like games.

That's interesting that you should pick role reversal. Most people write from first person or about a third person situation. I don't normally see a switch. It's very creative.
I've actually been complimented on that in the past. I find it more fun to write from perspectives besides my own.
It's a great trait to have because it means you have an open mind and an understanding of another person's situation. Not many people can put themselves in another person's shoes. It's something that's all too hard to find in the world.