Haven't really thought of a name for this, it just came to me when I was lying in bed one day. It's about those moments before you sleep and after you wake up when you don't really remember anything and don't have to think about bad things that have happened.

I feel weightless am I dead?
That little place inside my head,
Tells me no. I'm just asleep,
Falling down into the deep,

No feelings here; I am free,
Something I can never be,
Now I know that I am home,
Let me be and leave me alone,

Memories flood me more and more,
Leading me back through that door,
Sinking further into my bed,
Things I wish I'd never said.

---

~Pikachao
>Insert immaturity here.

cool I like it a lot! =)

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- Nothing is Black and White
- Nothing is Black and White? And how about the panda? How about the panda, you dumb f***?!

I like it. Hard to imagine you were just bored when you wrote this.

both snow and snowgurl that was a good poem!! u should write another 1!

byez

snow and snowgurl!!

Thats very good, and deep, if I had to name it I'd call it

"Unspoken Regret"

Well thats just the first name to come to mind anyway

---

I feel weightless am I dead?
That little place inside my head,
Tells me no. I'm just asleep,
Falling down into the deep,

No feelings here; I am free,
Something I can never be,
Now I know that I am home,
Let me be and leave me alone,

Memories flood me more and more,
Leading me back through that door,
Sinking further into my bed,
Things I wish I'd never said.

So the thing about poetry is that rhyming can often bog you down unless you're clever. A lot of your lines come across as contrived--I've heard the same story a million times in other poems/songs. Your imagery is bland because you tell instead of show. Your lines are too vague, and while ambiguity often is a great asset in writing, it's not the case here. What "door" is this flood of memories leading you into? A good poet molds words into something that only they would imagine.

Line breaks are important too! The transition from "That little place inside my head/tells me no." is the best one you have within it.

I'm not trying to come across as mean--it's easy to take criticism personally. The idea you want to get across is interesting, but I believe that you can write it in a better way. This poem needs serious revision, with the second stanza in its entirety being excised (along with the rhyming scheme). Poetry is meant to be creative. Make it your own.