well ase remember guys if you only tell him a thousand time before he even coperated it into his stroy he has only writtern 2 parts but you are trying to stress it he just hasn't written the corret ments yuet for the next part like if you make a tv show bad graphics at first then improves they won't go back take the episode back to put better graphics in it so think of that instead of asking him to re write his story he will put that in the next part JUST WAIT EDIT : 2nd word supose to be please but i have to rewrite whole thing to fix it and his post should be quoted FYI

---

1st Place Beyblade Colosseum 1 2013
1st Place Five Fists Beyday (Maryland Beyday 2012)

25 Tournaments Attended: 9 Placed In

Tournament List

Spoiler (Click to View)

Total 25 Tournaments, 2 HMS, 2 Plastics, 14 BB-10 MFB 7 Zero-G MFB 1 Limited

3/19/11 Spring Cherry Blossom ARISE
5/14/11 Blademore
5/29/11 Beydays come on
6/12/11 Fill my eyes double beyblade tournament
8/12/11 Summer Spin Showdown
9/18/11 Better Than School
10/16/11 The Dual Duel
11/19/11 Novembrr-Brawl
2/25/12 Leap Year Lashing
3/25/12 Cherry Blossom Combat 3rd Place
4/29/12 Spring Sortie 1st Place
5/26/12 Five Fist BeyDay 1st Place
7/22/12 The Triple Threat
8/12/12 The Lazy Hazy Swayz Beys of Summer
9/23/12 Autumn Assault 3rd Place
10/21/12 October Achtung 4th Place
11/17/12 Thrills, Spills, and Chills! 1st Place
2/2/13 Beyblade Colossuem 1st Place
3/24/13 Merry 2nd Anniversary 1st Place
4/21/13 Beyblade Revolution Qualifier
7/14/13 Heated Metal Plastic-y Madness!
1/19/14 Happy Gnu Year! 1st Place
3/30/14 GBT2: Maryland Qualifier

well ase remember guys if you only tell him a thousand time before he even coperated it into his stroy he has only writtern 2 parts but you are trying to stress it he just hasn't written the corret ments yuet for the next part like if you make a tv show bad graphics at first then improves they won't go back take the episode back to put better graphics in it so think of that instead of asking him to re write his story he will put that in the next part JUST WAIT EDIT : 2nd word supose to be please but i have to rewrite whole thing to fix it and his post should be quoted FYI

Actually, I slightly disagree. While your point about T.V shows is a valid one (we all learned that from Bakuten Shoot), I disagree that you shouldn't go back and edit. Why do you think writers and poets hire editors? To look pretty? There's often a lot of mistakes writers can make, so editors are there to correct it and spice up the story. Once, I wrote a 25 chapter story, finished it, and got one of my friends to be my editor. He went back and spruced things up that I completely missed. The finished product was fantastic, and there wasn't a single error. Just think of us as your editors.

---

"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

ok but REMEMBER stories are supose to be fun i dont't think Breaker actually plans on Working to the upmost level to make this be the best story in the history of stories there fun he will inocrporate it later all advice i just feel everyone is yelling at him stories are for enjoyment shouldn't they write critism is wanted if they really want it this isn't a rough draft to bey wiki this is a fun original story by breaker so lets stop this and if you want to continue PM sorry all Mods and breaker for spaming this thread

---

1st Place Beyblade Colosseum 1 2013
1st Place Five Fists Beyday (Maryland Beyday 2012)

25 Tournaments Attended: 9 Placed In

Tournament List

Spoiler (Click to View)

Total 25 Tournaments, 2 HMS, 2 Plastics, 14 BB-10 MFB 7 Zero-G MFB 1 Limited

3/19/11 Spring Cherry Blossom ARISE
5/14/11 Blademore
5/29/11 Beydays come on
6/12/11 Fill my eyes double beyblade tournament
8/12/11 Summer Spin Showdown
9/18/11 Better Than School
10/16/11 The Dual Duel
11/19/11 Novembrr-Brawl
2/25/12 Leap Year Lashing
3/25/12 Cherry Blossom Combat 3rd Place
4/29/12 Spring Sortie 1st Place
5/26/12 Five Fist BeyDay 1st Place
7/22/12 The Triple Threat
8/12/12 The Lazy Hazy Swayz Beys of Summer
9/23/12 Autumn Assault 3rd Place
10/21/12 October Achtung 4th Place
11/17/12 Thrills, Spills, and Chills! 1st Place
2/2/13 Beyblade Colossuem 1st Place
3/24/13 Merry 2nd Anniversary 1st Place
4/21/13 Beyblade Revolution Qualifier
7/14/13 Heated Metal Plastic-y Madness!
1/19/14 Happy Gnu Year! 1st Place
3/30/14 GBT2: Maryland Qualifier

well ase remember guys if you only tell him a thousand time before he even coperated it into his stroy he has only writtern 2 parts but you are trying to stress it he just hasn't written the corret ments yuet for the next part like if you make a tv show bad graphics at first then improves they won't go back take the episode back to put better graphics in it so think of that instead of asking him to re write his story he will put that in the next part JUST WAIT EDIT : 2nd word supose to be please but i have to rewrite whole thing to fix it and his post should be quoted FYI

Actually, I slightly disagree. While your point about T.V shows is a valid one (we all learned that from Bakuten Shoot), I disagree that you shouldn't go back and edit. Why do you think writers and poets hire editors? To look pretty? There's often a lot of mistakes writers can make, so editors are there to correct it and spice up the story. Once, I wrote a 25 chapter story, finished it, and got one of my friends to be my editor. He went back and spruced things up that I completely missed. The finished product was fantastic, and there wasn't a single error. Just think of us as your editors.

Yah Family Guy did the same thing. Also I want to keep the first and original copy to compare for when I am in many chapters I will use it to see how well my writing is improving. So in a nutshell I will not make chapter 1 again for comparison reasons. Thanks Breaker

---

Thanks othellog for the cool signature!

"It dose not matter if people talk about you behind your back, At least they are taking the time out of their busy day to talk about you!" A.Zmuda
Visit my Youtube account http://www.youtube.com/user/BreakerMD

Can you add my character

---

Can you add my character

Maybe , but your charter probably wont be good.

---

Thanks othellog for the cool signature!

"It dose not matter if people talk about you behind your back, At least they are taking the time out of their busy day to talk about you!" A.Zmuda
Visit my Youtube account http://www.youtube.com/user/BreakerMD

next chapter going to be done anytime soon

---

1st Place Beyblade Colosseum 1 2013
1st Place Five Fists Beyday (Maryland Beyday 2012)

25 Tournaments Attended: 9 Placed In

Tournament List

Spoiler (Click to View)

Total 25 Tournaments, 2 HMS, 2 Plastics, 14 BB-10 MFB 7 Zero-G MFB 1 Limited

3/19/11 Spring Cherry Blossom ARISE
5/14/11 Blademore
5/29/11 Beydays come on
6/12/11 Fill my eyes double beyblade tournament
8/12/11 Summer Spin Showdown
9/18/11 Better Than School
10/16/11 The Dual Duel
11/19/11 Novembrr-Brawl
2/25/12 Leap Year Lashing
3/25/12 Cherry Blossom Combat 3rd Place
4/29/12 Spring Sortie 1st Place
5/26/12 Five Fist BeyDay 1st Place
7/22/12 The Triple Threat
8/12/12 The Lazy Hazy Swayz Beys of Summer
9/23/12 Autumn Assault 3rd Place
10/21/12 October Achtung 4th Place
11/17/12 Thrills, Spills, and Chills! 1st Place
2/2/13 Beyblade Colossuem 1st Place
3/24/13 Merry 2nd Anniversary 1st Place
4/21/13 Beyblade Revolution Qualifier
7/14/13 Heated Metal Plastic-y Madness!
1/19/14 Happy Gnu Year! 1st Place
3/30/14 GBT2: Maryland Qualifier

haha sound weird he name is Aku because im from Indonesia
Aku Means Me in Indonesia hahaha
hmm can i request
Name:Ryan Andrian (Sound Weird haha)
Blade: Earth Burung AD145WD (Burung means bird haha the part of this blade is simple haha)
Attitude:Kind Hearted
that all haha

it's up to you to add my char or not

haha sound weird he name is Aku because im from Indonesia
Aku Means Me in Indonesia hahaha
hmm can i request
Name:Ryan Andrian (Sound Weird haha)
Blade: Earth Burung AD145WD (Burung means bird haha the part of this blade is simple haha)
Attitude:Kind Hearted
that all haha

it's up to you to add my char or not

I think I will add him and aku isnt his full first name i just shortened it to that because Akumamaramarah ( Akuma-mara-mare-ah)is to annoying to type every paragraph

---

Thanks othellog for the cool signature!

"It dose not matter if people talk about you behind your back, At least they are taking the time out of their busy day to talk about you!" A.Zmuda
Visit my Youtube account http://www.youtube.com/user/BreakerMD

haha sound weird he name is Aku because im from Indonesia
Aku Means Me in Indonesia hahaha
hmm can i request
Name:Ryan Andrian (Sound Weird haha)
Blade: Earth Burung AD145WD (Burung means bird haha the part of this blade is simple haha)
Attitude:Kind Hearted
that all haha

it's up to you to add my char or not

I think I will add him and aku isnt his full first name i just shortened it to that because Akumamaramarah ( Akuma-mara-mare-ah)is to annoying to type every paragraph

waw thanks!
aku marah marah?
Marah means= angry ahhahaha anyway thanks!! you can change tha blade name if its sound weird haha

ere are my characters


Name: Izuma Inzori

Spoiler (Click to View)

BeyBlade: Silent Samurai MKCH85 WRHF

BeyBlade description:
Face: A shuriken in the middle, between two kantanas and the writing SAMURAI for Silent Samurai and NINJA for Silent Ninja (color: all decals black on silver background)
Silent: think of Lightning with the multi hit mode (renamed Rapid Strike mode) as thick shurikens, and upper mode (renamed Slice mode) as a kantana (color: un-painted)
Samurai: think of Kerbecs + L-Drago I with the 'rings' as shurikens and the dragon heads as kantanas (color; silver)
MKCH85: Metal Kantana Change Height 8.5mm – 11.0mm, 4 metal kantanas surrounding a CH85 (color: translucent silver for the plastic, un-painted metal for the “blades”)
WRHF/RWD: Wide Rubber Hole Flat
Super Attacks:
Level 1: “Silent death,” Silent Samurai disappears and hits opponent with a million kunai and shuriken and kantanas
Level 2: “100 Slices of The Samurais’’,” the Metal Shuriken shell on MSBSCH85 swells and smashes the opponent’s bey 100 times, on the 99th time, Silent Ninja halts and circles the stadium 10 times, cheating a black hurricane that flips the opposing bey out of the stadium with a insanely powerful smash from Silent Samurai.
Level 3: N/A
Level X: “Infinite Blade” Samurai appears and slices at the opponent’s bey with such speed and power that the opposing bey instantly stops and flies out of the stadium 10 meters away, breaking it in half. (Last resort, can only be used three times in a year!)
BeyBlade Type: Legendary
Spin Direction: Left
Character bio:
Gender: Male
Clothes: Black Kevlar T-shirt and jeans and silver Kevlar cloak with black flames. (cloak is based on Minato from NARUTO)
Black hair, Chinese origin, oldest of 4 children
Caries twin Kantanas everywhere.
Team rank: Leader
Attitude: helpful and cool, he has to keep a critical eye on his twin sister, Sonai so that she doesn’t go out of control with her short temper, his classmates (except for Sonai) are jealous of him. When he promises something, you can guarantee that he will keep his promise unless it has anything to do with murder or theft. Keeps his younger brothers in line every day so that they don’t drive Sonai crazy.
Age: 17 years as of February 27, 2011

Name: Sonai Inzori

Spoiler (Click to View)

BeyBlade: Hydro Narwhale XDFCH110 PD
Type: Stamina
BeyBlade description:
Face: For both Narwhales, two narwhales next to each other with a wave and the writing Narwhale on the bottom. (Color: the narwhales: sliver, the wave: light blue, the writing: silver, the background: medium dark blue)
Hydro: imagine the Pre-HWS Virgo except the lobes are wave like. (Un-colored)
(Clear wheel) Narwhale: two Narwhales in a circle. (Translucent blue)
XDFCH110: eXtreme Down Force Change Height 11.0mm- 13.5mm, basically a CH110 with the external shell as a super wide DF that works in both spin directions. (Translucent blue)
Super Attacks:
Level 1: “ Hydro Turbo Boost”: Narwhale creates a water typhoon complimenting its team members spin or itself spin, thus increasing the bey affected by the water typhoon spin velocity.
Level 2: “Hydro Cannon”: Narwhale creates a huge water typhoon in the playing area and sends it at the opponent’s bey, sending it flying repeatedly so that Narwhale’s extreme stamina can be used to outlast the opponent’s bey.
Level 3: “Flying Hydro Narwhale Cannon”: Hydro Narwhale hovers in the air because on XDFCH110 and creates a water Narwhale to ram the opponent’s bey.
Level X: “Hydro Horn”: Narwhale appears and creates a high pressure water jet in the shape of a Narwhale’s horn and Stabs the opponent’s bey breaking it in half, or KOing it instantly.
Spin Direction: L/R
Character bio:
Gender: Female
Clothes: wears basically the same as all the Inzori except that her cloak is blue with silver flames.
Caries a special Touch Screen Repair Computer, TSRC, and tools for bey repairs
Rank in Team: repairer. (Technician)
Black hair, Chinese origin, and 2nd oldest of 4 children
Attitude: very reckless, and has a short temper, her twin brother, Izuma, does all that he can do to make sure she doesn’t go out of control with her rage and short temper doesn’t get the worst of her, her classmates (except for Izuma) are jealous of her. When she promises something, you can guarantee that she will keep her promise unless it has anything to do with murder or theft. She can get very angry with her 2 younger brothers, she respects Inzori as the greatest beyblader of all time
She is Izuma’s twin sister
Age: 17 as of February 27, 2011

Name: Hatachi Inzori

Spoiler (Click to View)

BeyBlade: Electric Berserker BXBCH135 LRF
Beyblade type: Attack
BeyBlade Discription:
Face: A sword with electricity coming out of it and the writing BERSERKER on the bottom. (Color: the sword: Silver, everything else: yellow on a black background)
Electric: Looks like a metal wheel with 4 lengthened protrusions in the shape of thunderbolts. (Slightly overhangs the track like Rock does (color: silver))
Berserker: 4 very large swords in a circle. (Color: translucent light yellow)
BXBCH135: Bending eXtreme Blades Change Height 13.5mm – 16.0mm, basically a CH___ with 4 large Blades that can bend at Hatachi’s command during battle.
Super attacks:
Level 1: “Static Shield”: a shield of electricity that causes the opponent’s bey to gain static electricity and stick to other unwanted friction causing things.
Level 2: “Lightning Horn Ramp”: a Horn with a smooth slope made of electricity rams the opponent bey and “slopes” it out of the stadium if it hits.
Level 3: “Electric Blade Typhoon”: a electric typhoon with electric Berserker Blades popping out every where to hit the opposing bey.
Level X: “Electric Berserker Blade”: Electric Berserker’s version of Samurai’s Infinite Blade except that the sword is made of electricity.
Spin direction: Left
Character bio:
Gender: male
Clothes: wears basically the same as all the Inzori except that his cloak is black with yellow thunderbolts, and wears repair goggles.
Black hair, Chinese origin, and 3rd of 4 children
Carries a special touch screen analyzer computer that can scan beys and create strategies according to the opponent’s bey parts and battle strategies for each of the team’s members
Team rank: Tactician
Attitude: a Bey strategist, caring and intelligent.
Age: 14 years old as of March 8, 2011

Name: Rez Inzori

Spoiler (Click to View)

Beyblade: Magma Saurian XGBCH160 RDS
BeyBlade Description:
Face: T-Rex head with Magma trickling down the side and the writing SAURIAN on the bottom for Magma Saurian. (Color: Brown T-Rex head, red magma, & gold SAURIAN)
Magma: Metal version of Heat with rubber in the gaps. (Rubber: red, metal: un-colored)
Saurian: ripples of lava in a circle. (Color: translucent red)
XGBCH160: eXtreme Gravity Bowl Change Height 16.0mm – 18.5mm, cross of CH___ and GB145, 4 metal balls on the shell of CH___, the plastic is arranged in a 4 pronged star.
RDS: Rubber Defense Sharp, a DS made of rubber (Color: red rubber and translucent red for the plastic parts)
Super attacks:
Level 1: “Lava Shield”: Saurian creates a wall of Lava around it to protect it from attacks.
Level 2: “Lava Wipeout”: Saurian creates a wave of lava to cover its opponents.
Level X: “Volcano Grave”: Saurian suddenly starts circling the stadium and creates a miniature un-erupted volcano in the middle of the stadium, then when the opponent’s bey is in the volcano’s crater, the volcano explodes, sending the opponent’s bey flying.
Character bio:
Gender: male
Clothes: wears basically the same as all the Inzori except that his cloak is silver with red flames.
Black hair, Chinese origin, and the youngest of 4 children
Team rank: Attack absorber (the shield)
Attitude: very humorous, liked by everyone.
List of team attacks:
“Lava/Lightning Trap Grind”: Electric Berserker & Magma Saurian: (possibly the silliest tag-team attack ever) Saurian makes a wall of lava in the shape of [and Berserker creates a wall that looks like], then they trap the opposing beys in between the two walls like this[], then make the wall look like ll, thus creating friction to halt the trapped beys to a complete stop
“Hydro Shock”: Hydro Narwhale & Electric Berserker: Team attack with Hydro Narwhale: First, Narwhale soaks the opposing beys with water, then Berserker zaps them, after that, Narwhale creates a water typhoon that Berserker charges with electricity.
“Rock Strike”: Hydro Narwhale & Magma Saurian: Narwhale fills the stadium with at the same time, Saurian releases a flow of lava, trapping the opposing beys in rock, defenseless against a water/magma spear strike.
“Hydro Kantana Blitz”: Silent Samurai & Hydro Narwhale: Narwhale lifts Samurai, Samurai creates a kantana and Narwhale adds high pressure water jets to it, they attack together, while Samurai slices with the kantana, narwhale flips and uses water jets to grind the opponent’s clear wheel, and increase its spin velocity, causing the opponent’s bey to completely stop by Narwhale’s grind or get KOed by Samurai’s attack
Team attack 2: “Electric Kantana Dive”: Silent Samurai & Electric Berserker: Berserker goes around Samurai as a shield while circling the stadium (like the moon is Berserker, earth is Samurai and the centre of the stadium id the sun) and then Samurai shoots up in the sky, descending with Samurai spinning a kantana charged with lightning and Berserker keeping the opponent bey in one spot by surrounding it with a electric fence
Team attack 3: “Magma Kantana Dive”: Silent Samurai & Magma Saurian: Refer to “Electric Kantana Dive” team attack with Berserker’s parts replaced by Saurian
Team attack X: “Inzori Finale”: Team attack involving all the Team members: first, Narwhale soaks all the opponent beys, next Berserker zaps all of them, while the opponents are distracted by Narwhale and Berserkers team attack, then Narwhale fills the stadium with water at the same time, Saurian releases a flow of lava, trapping the opponent beys in Rock, allowing the entire team the time to do “Infinite Magma Hydro Electric Kantana Attack” without any opposition.

---

||Avatar is a gift not my own work||
||DeviantArt||

well where is chapter 2??? 2/2

well where is chapter 2??? 2/2

It WILL be up today YAY!

---

Part 2 chapter 2


After school Billy,Aku,and their friend Ryan went to the local Beystop to test out Aku's bey.

"Ok guys I just need a launcher and I should be set." Aku cheerfully said.
" Oh no no no." Billy sarcastically moaned.
" You still need a Bey-Pointer,Launcher Grip,and....and..an....."Then everything Billy said came to a slow stop as he looked over to Aku's bey
" Dude! Your clear wheel is shot!"Billy screamed.
" Yeah,His whole bey needs repairs...Lets see what we could repair it with."said Ryan
" We could get a new basalt wheel and a Metal Face but...The clear wheel is... irreplaceable."

" Oh....how about an Aquario wheel? Oh, and MB!" Aku wonderd
" I guess." Ryan said
They boy then took hours to find the parts they needed. With extremely good luck they found all the parts in the shop ,and still had time to battle.

First up was Aku vs Ryan.

"GO AQUARIO!"Aku Yelled
The beys were moving around the dish.Waiting for each other to strike.
"Now Burung ATTACK!"
Burung sprang into action then knocking Into Aquario. Then Aquario glowed Bright blue and Aku had a similar aura too!
"Aquairo... Water Strike!"
Burst of water came from the bey blasting into Burung. In seconds the battle
was over...Aquario won.

---

Thanks othellog for the cool signature!

"It dose not matter if people talk about you behind your back, At least they are taking the time out of their busy day to talk about you!" A.Zmuda
Visit my Youtube account http://www.youtube.com/user/BreakerMD

well where is chapter 2??? 2/2

It WILL be up today YAY!

---

Part 2 chapter 2


After school Billy,Aku,and their friend Ryan went to the local Beystop to test out Aku's bey.

"Ok guys I just need a launcher and I should be set." Aku cheerfully said.
" Oh no no no." Billy sarcastically moaned.
" You still need a Bey-Pointer,Launcher Grip,and....and..an....."Then everything Billy said came to a slow stop as he looked over to Aku's bey
" Dude! Your clear wheel is shot!"Billy screamed.
" Yeah,His whole bey needs repairs...Lets see what we could repair it with."said Ryan
" We could get a new basalt wheel and a Metal Face but...The clear wheel is... irreplaceable."

" Oh....how about an Aquario wheel? Oh, and MB!" Aku wonderd
" I guess." Ryan said
They boy then took hours to find the parts they needed. With extremely good luck they found all the parts in the shop ,and still had time to battle.

First up was Aku vs Ryan.

"GO AQUARIO!"Aku Yelled
The beys were moving around the dish.Waiting for each other to strike.
"Now Burung ATTACK!"
Burung sprang into action then knocking Into Aquario. Then Aquario glowed Bright blue and Aku had a similar aura too!
"Aquairo... Water Strike!"
Burst of water came from the bey blasting into Burung. In seconds the battle
was over...Aquario won.

Wow! the story is really good!!! ahha i lose thats what i expect the main character always won! but sometimes lose. oh and you need an repair that im bolded

well where is chapter 2??? 2/2

It WILL be up today YAY!

---

Part 2 chapter 2


After school Billy,Aku,and their friend Ryan went to the local Beystop to test out Aku's bey.

"Ok guys I just need a launcher and I should be set." Aku cheerfully said.
" Oh no no no." Billy sarcastically moaned.
" You still need a Bey-Pointer,Launcher Grip,and....and..an....."Then everything Billy said came to a slow stop as he looked over to Aku's bey
" Dude! Your clear wheel is shot!"Billy screamed.
" Yeah,His whole bey needs repairs...Lets see what we could repair it with."said Ryan
" We could get a new basalt wheel and a Metal Face but...The clear wheel is... irreplaceable."

" Oh....how about an Aquario wheel? Oh, and MB!" Aku wonderd
" I guess." Ryan said
They boy then took hours to find the parts they needed. With extremely good luck they found all the parts in the shop ,and still had time to battle.

First up was Aku vs Ryan.

"GO AQUARIO!"Aku Yelled
The beys were moving around the dish.Waiting for each other to strike.
"Now Burung ATTACK!"
Burung sprang into action then knocking Into Aquario. Then Aquario glowed Bright blue and Aku had a similar aura too!
"Aquairo... Water Strike!"
Burst of water came from the bey blasting into Burung. In seconds the battle
was over...Aquario won.

Wow! the story is really good!!! ahha i lose thats what i expect the main character always won! but sometimes lose. oh and you need an repair that im bolded

AWESOME I WANNA BATTLE

---

1st Place Beyblade Colosseum 1 2013
1st Place Five Fists Beyday (Maryland Beyday 2012)

25 Tournaments Attended: 9 Placed In

Tournament List

Spoiler (Click to View)

Total 25 Tournaments, 2 HMS, 2 Plastics, 14 BB-10 MFB 7 Zero-G MFB 1 Limited

3/19/11 Spring Cherry Blossom ARISE
5/14/11 Blademore
5/29/11 Beydays come on
6/12/11 Fill my eyes double beyblade tournament
8/12/11 Summer Spin Showdown
9/18/11 Better Than School
10/16/11 The Dual Duel
11/19/11 Novembrr-Brawl
2/25/12 Leap Year Lashing
3/25/12 Cherry Blossom Combat 3rd Place
4/29/12 Spring Sortie 1st Place
5/26/12 Five Fist BeyDay 1st Place
7/22/12 The Triple Threat
8/12/12 The Lazy Hazy Swayz Beys of Summer
9/23/12 Autumn Assault 3rd Place
10/21/12 October Achtung 4th Place
11/17/12 Thrills, Spills, and Chills! 1st Place
2/2/13 Beyblade Colossuem 1st Place
3/24/13 Merry 2nd Anniversary 1st Place
4/21/13 Beyblade Revolution Qualifier
7/14/13 Heated Metal Plastic-y Madness!
1/19/14 Happy Gnu Year! 1st Place
3/30/14 GBT2: Maryland Qualifier

well where is chapter 2??? 2/2

It WILL be up today YAY!

---

Part 2 chapter 2


After school Billy,Aku,and their friend Ryan went to the local Beystop to test out Aku's bey.

"Ok guys I just need a launcher and I should be set." Aku cheerfully said.
" Oh no no no." Billy sarcastically moaned.
" You still need a Bey-Pointer,Launcher Grip,and....and..an....."Then everything Billy said came to a slow stop as he looked over to Aku's bey
" Dude! Your clear wheel is shot!"Billy screamed.
" Yeah,His whole bey needs repairs...Lets see what we could repair it with."said Ryan
" We could get a new basalt wheel and a Metal Face but...The clear wheel is... irreplaceable."

" Oh....how about an Aquario wheel? Oh, and MB!" Aku wonderd
" I guess." Ryan said
They boy then took hours to find the parts they needed. With extremely good luck they found all the parts in the shop ,and still had time to battle.

First up was Aku vs Ryan.

"GO AQUARIO!"Aku Yelled
The beys were moving around the dish.Waiting for each other to strike.
"Now Burung ATTACK!"
Burung sprang into action then knocking Into Aquario. Then Aquario glowed Bright blue and Aku had a similar aura too!
"Aquairo... Water Strike!"
Burst of water came from the bey blasting into Burung. In seconds the battle
was over...Aquario won.

Wow! the story is really good!!! ahha i lose thats what i expect the main character always won! but sometimes lose. oh and you need an repair that im bolded

AWESOME I WANNA BATTLE

Next chapter You fight Leana

---

well where is chapter 2??? 2/2

It WILL be up today YAY!

---

Part 2 chapter 2


After school Billy,Aku,and their friend Ryan went to the local Beystop to test out Aku's bey.

"Ok guys I just need a launcher and I should be set." Aku cheerfully said.
" Oh no no no." Billy sarcastically moaned.
" You still need a Bey-Pointer,Launcher Grip,and....and..an....."Then everything Billy said came to a slow stop as he looked over to Aku's bey
" Dude! Your clear wheel is shot!"Billy screamed.
" Yeah,His whole bey needs repairs...Lets see what we could repair it with."said Ryan
" We could get a new basalt wheel and a Metal Face but...The clear wheel is... irreplaceable."

" Oh....how about an Aquario wheel? Oh, and MB!" Aku wonderd
" I guess." Ryan said
They boy then took hours to find the parts they needed. With extremely good luck they found all the parts in the shop ,and still had time to battle.

First up was Aku vs Ryan.

"GO AQUARIO!"Aku Yelled
The beys were moving around the dish.Waiting for each other to strike.
"Now Burung ATTACK!"
Burung sprang into action then knocking Into Aquario. Then Aquario glowed Bright blue and Aku had a similar aura too!
"Aquairo... Water Strike!"
Burst of water came from the bey blasting into Burung. In seconds the battle
was over...Aquario won.

Wow! the story is really good!!! ahha i lose thats what i expect the main character always won! but sometimes lose. oh and you need an repair that im bolded

You are a main character though... I just spoiled a lot. TeAm

---

Thanks othellog for the cool signature!

"It dose not matter if people talk about you behind your back, At least they are taking the time out of their busy day to talk about you!" A.Zmuda
Visit my Youtube account http://www.youtube.com/user/BreakerMD

Hey wait a minute......
Is the dish you mentioned in the story was actually a stadium?
Or it is REALLY a DISH?

---

Let the wings of hope spread to the whole world!

New story :
http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-Yoku-s-s...ary-Hereos

Hey wait a minute......
Is the dish you mentioned in the story was actually a stadium?
Or it is REALLY a DISH?

Its like a small stadium, Like the ones in the Beypark in Metal Fusion

---

Chapter 3
Lets Form A Team...
6-18-11

[i Aku, Leana and Ryan were walking around town looking for some of the new BeyStops that got shipments in of new parts. Aku has been hiding Aquario from Leana (so she wont ask for here own upgrade.)They were also looking for new launchers that came out.
[/i]

"Aku.....How much longer do we have to look!" Leana moned
" Just wait Leana... Their is not much more we can do. Would you rather have a bey battle with me ... We can have one strait after this... I promise" Ryan said
" No... I wanna battle Billy today..." Leana replied meanly
" Fine, Aku call Billy"
After 20 minutes of having Billy get directions to the BeyStop they were at he arrived.Then he had to go back home because he forgot his launcher... and Leana slapped him for forgetting it.

Ryan then said " bladers are you ready!"
Both said " yes"
"3....2.....1 GO SHOOT"
Leanas bey landed first then billys bey tried to hit her's while in the air and BANG...... Leana won by using the guillotine technique

" I want a rematch!" Billy demanded

" 3...2...1 GO SHOOT!"
The beys now landed at the same time Sagitario was Knocking into Fico as hard as it could Fico wouldn't budge. Taking blow after blow Fico withstood a barrage of quick attacks. Then Sagitario ran out of steam...and was barley keeping up rotation. Fico then struck an amazing blow crashing into Sagitario and sending it flying....
Billy Won.

Next thing you know they kept going at each other battle after battle.
with changing outcomes in each battle.They soon had to leave because it was getting dark. Neither Ryan or Aku bothered to keep score.

---

Thanks othellog for the cool signature!

"It dose not matter if people talk about you behind your back, At least they are taking the time out of their busy day to talk about you!" A.Zmuda
Visit my Youtube account http://www.youtube.com/user/BreakerMD

LOL nice Blademore reference Awesome

---

1st Place Beyblade Colosseum 1 2013
1st Place Five Fists Beyday (Maryland Beyday 2012)

25 Tournaments Attended: 9 Placed In

Tournament List

Spoiler (Click to View)

Total 25 Tournaments, 2 HMS, 2 Plastics, 14 BB-10 MFB 7 Zero-G MFB 1 Limited

3/19/11 Spring Cherry Blossom ARISE
5/14/11 Blademore
5/29/11 Beydays come on
6/12/11 Fill my eyes double beyblade tournament
8/12/11 Summer Spin Showdown
9/18/11 Better Than School
10/16/11 The Dual Duel
11/19/11 Novembrr-Brawl
2/25/12 Leap Year Lashing
3/25/12 Cherry Blossom Combat 3rd Place
4/29/12 Spring Sortie 1st Place
5/26/12 Five Fist BeyDay 1st Place
7/22/12 The Triple Threat
8/12/12 The Lazy Hazy Swayz Beys of Summer
9/23/12 Autumn Assault 3rd Place
10/21/12 October Achtung 4th Place
11/17/12 Thrills, Spills, and Chills! 1st Place
2/2/13 Beyblade Colossuem 1st Place
3/24/13 Merry 2nd Anniversary 1st Place
4/21/13 Beyblade Revolution Qualifier
7/14/13 Heated Metal Plastic-y Madness!
1/19/14 Happy Gnu Year! 1st Place
3/30/14 GBT2: Maryland Qualifier

Hmm....a lot of your story is dialogue. Use more descriptions, and make sure you fall back on the tense you are writing in. You are bouncing around from 1st person past tense to 1st person present, then 3rd person omniscient, etc., etc. It tends to get a wee bit confusing so try to cut down on that as well.

---

"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

You are a main character though... I just spoiled a lot. TeAm

oh thanks you very much
anyway good job the story is great!
kept going!

I hope these Chapter come quicker i want to see how this grows

---

1st Place Beyblade Colosseum 1 2013
1st Place Five Fists Beyday (Maryland Beyday 2012)

25 Tournaments Attended: 9 Placed In

Tournament List

Spoiler (Click to View)

Total 25 Tournaments, 2 HMS, 2 Plastics, 14 BB-10 MFB 7 Zero-G MFB 1 Limited

3/19/11 Spring Cherry Blossom ARISE
5/14/11 Blademore
5/29/11 Beydays come on
6/12/11 Fill my eyes double beyblade tournament
8/12/11 Summer Spin Showdown
9/18/11 Better Than School
10/16/11 The Dual Duel
11/19/11 Novembrr-Brawl
2/25/12 Leap Year Lashing
3/25/12 Cherry Blossom Combat 3rd Place
4/29/12 Spring Sortie 1st Place
5/26/12 Five Fist BeyDay 1st Place
7/22/12 The Triple Threat
8/12/12 The Lazy Hazy Swayz Beys of Summer
9/23/12 Autumn Assault 3rd Place
10/21/12 October Achtung 4th Place
11/17/12 Thrills, Spills, and Chills! 1st Place
2/2/13 Beyblade Colossuem 1st Place
3/24/13 Merry 2nd Anniversary 1st Place
4/21/13 Beyblade Revolution Qualifier
7/14/13 Heated Metal Plastic-y Madness!
1/19/14 Happy Gnu Year! 1st Place
3/30/14 GBT2: Maryland Qualifier

update?

update?

Oh sorry I have been preoccupied with Torrny needs so... expect one on Sunday Night!

---

Thanks othellog for the cool signature!

"It dose not matter if people talk about you behind your back, At least they are taking the time out of their busy day to talk about you!" A.Zmuda
Visit my Youtube account http://www.youtube.com/user/BreakerMD

update?

Oh sorry I have been preoccupied with Torrny needs so... expect one on Sunday Night!

ok i will wait