The Villian with a change of heart (story)

Poll: Did U Like MY Story

Yes
57.14%
4
Somewhat
0%
0
It Was Horrible
42.86%
3
Total: 100% 7 vote(s)
Reply to be in the story
add details
if its a real bey just add ur characters name,age, bey, gender,and personality

if its not include details Ex(color,pieces of the bey)
And finally include if they are good are evil

Only 5 in a gang, do not post if that gang is full
Now you can chose to be in one of the four gangs : Black Combustion , Tormentors , Death Wolfs, and the heroes gang Metal Core Bladers

Current Characters


Metal Core Bladers

tiderboy Bey: Rock Leone 145D
Masaru Haru Bey:Rock Capricorn 105DS
EvilWolf Bey:MF-H Lightning L-Drago BD145WD



Black Combustion






Tormentors






Death Wolfs





Oh sasaki, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WRITE YOUR OWN CHARACTERS, THIS IS YOUR STORY!
FIRST OF ALL WHERE IS THE ACTUAL STORY.
Great story bro, best I've read in years.
1. Make your own story.
2. 10-25 characters is way too many for a normal story.
3. Reported.
I HAVE MY OWN CHARACTERS , I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE WOULD LIKE TO BE INCLUDED
How about you write it first? Or better, not ask for CRs.
Chapter 1

So Cold It Burns

The wind felt like blades cutting my face , in my chest as if I had swallowed razors. I thought I was close to my destination.It also seemed like I had been on this journey for years. I had to try to find shelter soon and I was growing weary.I carried my self though the snow and howling wind for as long as I could move. Eventually I fainted. I woke up feeling warm. I was in a strange place, where could I be I was still a good mile away from my grandfather's house at the top of the mountain. Then I looked around, I was tied up I was in a room full of boxes. I looked up when I heard the door open. And just my luck the leader of the Black Combustion bey gang, Shendo Akuge stepped in. I said " What do you want from me" , He replied "we want the bey you have Trey, you know your Silverite Destroyer". I screetched " No! You'll never have it, besides you don't even know where it is. He said " I know that's why your gunna tell us", I replied "I'm not telling you anything". " Fine, We'll do it the hard way". He poured kerosene all over the room, took out his Burn Virgo and ripped it, it ignited the kerosene, he retrieved his bey and left the room. As the ring of fire made its way towards me I had to think fast. I rocked in the chair aparrently it was old and unsturdy. So I kept rocking side to side until it fell and broke into pieces. I got up quickly got the rope off my hands and waist and tried to find a way out. I looked around and started digging through the boxes. I found their shipment of beys and i pulled out a ripcord, launcher, and a Flame Capricorn. I ripped the bey as hard as I could at the door, it broke on first contact. I ran through the door fast, now the only problem was how to escape.

Chapter 2

The Escape

I got out of the flaming storage room. Now what was I to do, I had never been inside the base. I just took a guess so I ran straight ahead. After I ran I came to a dead end, then I heard the other members of the Black Combustion coming towards my direction. I hid up against the wall. They ran right past me,but they were after an intruder. They must have not been after me because they thought I had perished in the fire. I followed them hoping they'd be leading me to safety. They had been far ahead of me, I heard the rage of battle in the distance. I went to see what was going on, and luck was on my side. I saw the lustrous glow of a Rock Leone, and knew who came to save me. Standing there was Jackson proud and gallant taking out beys left and right. I looked around seeing beys and Black Combustion lying on the ground. He said " ready to go Trey", I replied "yeah and quick". We retreated from the base and Jackson brought my silver and blue Challenger so we hopped in and drove off. " So what happened in there" Jackson said. I said " Shendo tied me up, lit the storage room on fire because i wouldn't tell him where my Silverite Destroyer was. " Speaking of which" Jackson said " here's your bey". " How'd you get it" I responded. "I got it from your grandad" he said. I looked down at my hand there was my Silverite Destroyer, my silver and blue string launcher, And my black launcher grip. It was good to have these back again.

Chapter 3

Back Again

Me and Jackson pulled up at the HQ. We got out the car and I opened the front door. I saw Masaru practicing, he wants to get as good as me if not better, he always trained long and hard and battled with me and the others. He often won,but i'd have to say he is most devoted to the gang. Jackson wants to be me , he was young and talented but had room to grow. It felt good to have someone look up to me."Hey you guys" , Masaru said." What's up" I replied, "Wanna Battle", He said. "Yeah" I responded, "This is gonna be awesome", Jackson chimed in.We went to the arena. 3..2..1..LET IT RIP. The bey clashed together.His Capricorn rushed at my Destroyer it hit it with lots of power. My Destoyer bolted his Capricorn and it was airborne. I screamed " special move Eternal Torture go!!!!". It knocked Capricorn out of sight. " Capricorn Full Force Sky Dive go!!!!", Masaru yelled. It came at Destroyer at amazing speeds. Destroyer dodged and Capricorn grazed my bey , as it crashed into the stadium. "Woooaahh" Jackson gasped, Masaru was sad, then he looked glad, "I was so close" he said. All another day for the great Masaru, he almost had me there, I was shocked he never got that close to defeating me before, guess all that training payed off. Good job Masaru! All the sudden, BOOOMMM!!! It came from the back entrance, we all ran there as fast as we could. Standing there was Shendo and some of his boys." You really think we'd let you go that easily" he said. He pulled out his ripcord and launcher, I did the same." Let me handle this one " Jackson and Masaru chimed in at the same time. It was then settled we were having a three on three battle. " Lexi , Dusk, lets go" Shendo commanded. 3...2...1...Let It Rip! all the bey flew at each other. Me, Masaru, and Jackson stood our ground. Shendo's Burn Virgo hit Jackson's Rock Leone hard and knocked it into the air, then Shendo called" lets go flaming tri-force" Virgo jumped and the other two bey uppercutted it so it got speed and height. Masaru's Capricorn leaped and batted down Virgo ,as soon as it hit Leone. " Capricorn Full Force Sky Dive" Masaru yelled, it came down and broke Lexi's bey in halve. "Eternal Torture" I screamed it destroyed Dusk's bey. We all looked at Shendo's weakend Burn Virgo we all announced" Special Move Metal Core Blast" We all dashed at Virgo , Destroyer spinning right, Capricorn going left, and Leone going straight. We crushed Virgo , and saw it lay lifeless. They retrieved what was left of they're bey and retreated. We all were proud of ourselves, later that night we went to a party. I could tell tonight was gonna be fun!



Chapter 4
Party Time

It was around 8:00 p.m. I was having fun talk to lots of bladers mostly girls. Masaru was having fun showing off his skills, he beat most of the bladers there. He didn't lose yet, I don't think he was going to. Jackson battled some too, he won most of his, but lost to Masaru. I was to busy talking too see what was amist. Ryax Golem showed up leader of the Death Wolfs. I could see the shame in Jackson's eyes. He had once been in the Death Wolfs himself. He ran because they used him for evil purposes. They sent him to the Raijeiko Tournament to defeat all bladers. He was told to destroy their bey one by one. But it was false he was used a test. They sent Reiku, another member, but also what used to be my childhood friend. Reiku defeated Jackson and won the tournament. He destroyed Jackson's bey, and everyone else's. It was hard for me to believe we were friends once. Jackson ran away and I found him on the street. He was broken, I had to help him. He stayed at my secret HQ and we fixed his bey. After that he felt like family. Seeing as I had no family any more. I let him join the group. He tried to be just like me from then on. Ryax came and gave Jackson a trecherous look. I rushed over there, but it was too late they had started battling. Ryax had a Cyclone Wolf 85JB. He fought with pride and hate. Jackson couldn't keep up with Ryax. I tried to help Jackson out but he wouldn't allow it. So did masaru ,we both knew he was going to get destroyed, but he couldn't see that. Jackson was on his last leg. Ryax called " Wolf Special Move Howling Fang" Wolf rushed at Leone. Right then Wolf went flying backwards. And MF-H Lighting L-Drago BD145WD was in the arena. Just then someone fell from mid-air. They withdrew their bey and said " No need of thanks, just helping out , by the way the names Assassin". Ryax got mad , yanked wolf out of the wall. He retreated as he yelled " I' ll destroy you Jackson, you too Assassin". Assassin then challenged me to battle him . We both pulled out our bey. We chimed " 3..2..1..Let It Rip!". Our bey clashed as they both flew in. We constantly smashed each others bey till we were both low on spin. " Then I called " Destroyer Special Move Eternal Torture" It spun at 100mph. I slashed L-Drago and it flipped over on it's face bolt and it was the end. Assassin stood there shocked. He thought he was number 1 until now. I asked him to join our gang and he agreed.We finished the night, and I met a girl who really liked me, she told me to meet with her next time I had a chance. The next day at the base Assassin showed up, I gave him a room and showed him around. he seemed to enjoy it. He spent most of his time practicing his snipe technique. We would get along great , I could tell he liked it there.
Gang Bios:

Black Combustion: Wears black leather jackets, red undershirt, black jeans and black boots.
Leader: Shendo Akuge age:17
Bey: Burn Virgo 145WD

Tormentors: Wears camo shirt, camo pants , green boots
Leader: Darion Blitz age:18
Bey: Cyber Anubis CH145HF

Death Wolfs: Wears purple fleece jackets,khaki pants, black and purple boots.
Leader: Ryax Golem age:17
Bey: Cyclone Wolf 85JB

Metal Core Bladers: Wears anything (Usually Silver or Blue)
Leader:Trey Sadler age:16
Bey: Silverite Destroyer 100RF( like gravity, made of solid silver and is 5x thicker)
I would like to be in the story my charicter's name is Jackson his bey is RockLeone 145D. They are good. Jackson is good. They are in the Metal Core Bladers.
ok he'll be in the story
(Nov. 27, 2011  5:49 PM)tiderboy Wrote: I would like to be in the story my charicter's name is Jackson his bey is RockLeone 145D. They are good. Jackson is good. They are in the Metal Core Bladers.

Remember to include age
I'd like my character to be in this story if you wouldn't mind Grin
Name: Masaru
Description: White spikey hair, blue eyes, blue button up long sleeve shirt(never buttoned up), white short sleeve shirt underneath it and black jeans. Usually calm, but can be somewhat hot-headed.
Bey: Rock Capricorn 105DS (Left Spin)
Description: Blank red facebolt , red and black energy ring, normal silver fusion wheel, red spin track, black performance tip.
Allignment: Good
Gang: Metal Core Bladers
I'll add a age when I find out the average ages of the chars in this story.
(Dec. 05, 2011  2:54 AM)Masaru Hara Wrote: I'd like my character to be in this story if you wouldn't mind Grin
Name: Masaru
Description: White spikey hair, blue eyes, blue button up long sleeve shirt(never buttoned up), white short sleeve shirt underneath it and black jeans. Usually calm, but can be somewhat hot-headed.
Bey: Rock Capricorn 105DS (Left Spin)
Description: Blank red facebolt , red and black energy ring, normal silver fusion wheel, red spin track, black performance tip.
Allignment: Good
Gang: Metal Core Bladers
I'll add a age when I find out the average ages of the chars in this story.

ok ur in

average age is from 13-16
More Character Requests Wanted
(Dec. 23, 2011  1:08 AM)Masaru Hara Wrote: He's 13 then
Ok, done
Just in case your still taking Character Requests, here is mine.
Name: Assassin ( Birth name unknown)
DescriptionConfusedhort brown hair, hazel eyes. Caucasian skin. Five feet eleven inches tall. Calm but can explode if stressed too much. Gets a long with most people. Has a strong will and is out to battle the strongest bladers in the world. Wears jeans with white T-shirt and a zip-up hoody (usually black or red). Launcher Grip is black, with the white launcher and ripcord.
Bey: MF-H Lightning L'Drago BD145WD (Left Spin)
Description: Blue facebolt with white dragon, clear and blue energy ring, silver fusion wheel, blue spin track, black performance tip
Allignment: Good
Gang: None......as of yet.

Age: 17

Thanks in advance if you accept this request.
(Jan. 01, 2012  7:42 PM)EvilWolf Wrote: Just in case your still taking Character Requests, here is mine.
Name: Assassin ( Birth name unknown)
DescriptionConfusedhort brown hair, hazel eyes. Caucasian skin. Five feet eleven inches tall. Calm but can explode if stressed too much. Gets a long with most people. Has a strong will and is out to battle the strongest bladers in the world. Wears jeans with white T-shirt and a zip-up hoody (usually black or red). Launcher Grip is black, with the white launcher and ripcord.
Bey: MF-H Lightning L'Drago BD145WD (Left Spin)
Description: Blue facebolt with white dragon, clear and blue energy ring, silver fusion wheel, blue spin track, black performance tip
Allignment: Good
Gang: None......as of yet.

Age: 17

Thanks in advance if you accept this request.
ok done

if you are still accepting character requests
NameGrinamon
Age:14
DescriptionGrinark blue hair,green eyes.
Bey:Hyper Leone 100HF
Team:Metal Core Bladers
If you are still accepting, here I go,
Name, Alex
Age15
Desciption, average height blue eyes causcasian
Bey, storm Aries 100F
Don't.
Just...
don't accept character reequests.
It's dumb, unless you use them to base characters off of.
Never use character requests.
andusepropergrammarallthetimekthxbai
(PS: A new line of text starts a new paragraph).
hello why isn't Tmoney posting
Great story so far. I like the way Jackson took on Ryax by himself untill Assassin butted in. Keep up the good work!
work work