World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

The Hydra's Flame(Ended)

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Jun. 17, 2011  8:27 PM
 
Chpt 1: Flowing Hydrus205W2D
My name is George. I have always wanted a Bey. Both my friends have one. Alejandro has Storm Aquario105RF, Austra has Meteo L-Drago BD145MF,
and even my MOM, Pollus, Has a Bey Basalt Pegasus II 85Q. But my Birthday
was coming up so mabye I will get one.

I looked at the clock. 1:37 " No, I am Missing Austra and my Mom's Match" I Said.
I Ran Out the door and turned towards the stadium.
"And Austra Takes the win" Blader DJ stated as I Got to the Staduim."Now Come Take your Prize Austra". Austra walked up and took the Big check.
Austra walked off grinning. I went down to my mom.
"Sorry you lost mom"
"No, It's ok" she said in a quiet voice. I went home and took a nap.

I yawned as I awoke.
"SUPRISE" My Friends and Mother Yelled.
"AHHHHHHH" I screamed as I fell off the couch.
" Here is your Gift" Said Austra as she handed me a HUGE BOX.
I tore it open thinking " Yes a big gift".
It was a bey and not a cheap one, it was Flowing Hydrus205W2D.
Jun. 18, 2011  7:07 AM
 
Ok here we go
Name:Andrew Trinogami
Bey:Galaxy Gil F:A (Final Attack)(SF to HF)
Age:12
Special Move:Galactic Tail Whip(Super strong KO)
Description:Andrew lives with his older brother because both of his parents are in the army. He got his bey from his grandfather who was once an excellent blader. Andrew has increased the power of his bey tenfold and is still aiming to be the best>
Jun. 19, 2011  10:25 PM
 
Your Chararcter has been accepted.
IMPORTANT: Ga'hooleone will be writing chapter 2.

EDIT: M L Drago your charechter has been accepted
Jun. 20, 2011  1:45 AM
 
Name:Tyler
Age:11
Bey:Rock aquario 100 hf/s
Special move:Fish Frenzy(the bey spins all across the the floor really fast and knocks the opponent out)
Descripition: Very quite and no one knows anything about him
Jun. 23, 2011  3:03 PM
 
I believe you people wanted the chapter 2 I wrote? MCancer's character should appear in the next chapter. This is my first time writing a beystory, so enjoy!:

CHAPTER 2: Clash! Hydrus and Pegasis!


“Woah”, I said, as I stared at the bey, no, my bey, in the box. “Am I dreaming?”
“Happy birthday, George!”, my mom and friends said.
“Finally, my own bey! Let me test this out! Come on, somebody battle me!”, I said, jumping up and down out of excitement.
“Fine, I’ll battle you. Get ready to face my Pegasis!” Mom said, holding up her Basalt Pegasis.
“Ha, this is awkward. George’ll be battling his own mom?” Austra whispered to Alejandro.
‘What was that, Austra?”, Mom said with an eyebrow twitching.
“U-u-u-uhh, n-nothing at all!” stammered Austra.
My mom and I walked outside to the beystadium, where both of us held our launchers parallel to the floor. I stared at my mom’s launcher, a Launcher grip and beylauncher, thinking about how I only had a Light Launcher II to work with.
“I’m sure I can win though, I mean, she’s my MOM. How tough could she be?” I thought to myself.
“Come on, lazybones, snap out of it and count down already!”
“If you say so, Mom.” I stated with a slight smile, noticing the height differences between our beys. Her Pegasis can’t even hit Flowing Hydrus! This’ll be a piece of cake.
“3!”
“2!”
“1!”
“GO SHOOT!”, my mom and I yelled, as Hydrus and Pegasis landed in the stadium.
“GO Pegasis!”, my mom yelled.
“Mom, please. Don’t sound so cheesy, that’s what Ginga’s supposed to do.” I complained.
“Just getting fired up, that’s all.” My mom said with a wink.
Hydrus sat at the center, while Pegasis was bouncing around the stadium in a triangular fashion.
“Pegasis, attack!”
Pegasis stopped bouncing and rushed in towards Hydrus, while my mind raced to think of a comeback. Of course! With the 85 track, Pegasis can’t hit me, and I could avoid the Basalt metal wheel by hitting Pegasis from above!
“Hold your ground, Hydrus! Wait for the right moment!” I yelled.
Pegasis rushed in, and as I expected, couldn’t hit the bottom of Hydrus’ metal wheel. However, Hydrus was slowly getting pushed back from the force of Basalt Pegasis’ attack.
“Hydrus, now! Lean back, then attack!” I shouted
Hydrus leaned back, letting the wave of W2D catch the edge of the stadium, sending it racing around the stadium.
“Oh, what’s this?”
“Now Hydrus, attack!” I yelled confidently.
Hydrus smashed into Pegasis, who was barely moved thanks to the Basalt wheel. However, Hydrus then leaned forward and grinded Pegasis into the ground, sending Pegasis bouncing into the air.
“Yes, it worked!” I cheered.
“Nice work, George! You’ll win for sure now!” Austra and Alejandro exclaimed
“Don’t count me out just yet.”, my mom said slyly.
“What?!”
Pegasis hit the edge of the stadium, and rushed back at Hydrus.
“Hah, it won’t matter, Pegasis can’t touch Hydrus!”
“Yes, that would be true. But what if I hit you while leaning over?”, Pollus said.
Pegasis leaned forward and smashed into the 205 track. But then!
“NO! Hydrus, lean back and roll out of the way!” I yelled. But it was too late. Pegasis’ Quake bottom caused Basalt (yes, that heavy monster known as Basalt) to smash hard into the underside of Flowing Hydrus. Hydrus flew high into the air, then smashed into the stadium wobbling crazily.
“NO! This means you’ll-”
“Let’s go, Pegasis! SPECIAL MOVE: BASALT BURIAL!” my mom yelled.
“NO, HYDRUS!”
Pegasis rushed to the edge of the stadium and leaned over, causing the Q tip to send it high into the air, just above Hydrus. Pegasis turned sideways and fell straight down onto Hydrus’ side. A giant cloud of smoke erupted from the special move.
“Wait, won’t you stop spinning too? You fell in as well, there’s no way out!” I said desperately.
“Honestly George, use your brain. What would be the point of a special move if it would cause me to lose as well?”
As the smoke cleared, an enormous, 2-foot-deep hole was revealed in the center of the stadium. Inside the huge, gaping fissure laid a motionless Hydrus, covered in stones and dirt. Basalt Pegasis was bouncing around the edge of the hole. But of course! The Q tip caused Pegasis to bounce out of the hole as soon as it hit the side of the hole the special move created, thus making it win.
I sank to my knees, stammering. “I-I lost...”
“Well, you had the right idea for a first battle. You thought just like any other novice blader, and that’s completely normal. Well done, George,” my mom said as she helped me up.
“You just need more practice,” said Alejandro.
I don’t need more practice, I thought.
I need a special move.

Next chapter!
As Alejandro helps George perfect his special move, Austra decides to look for a good battle. He goes to the park, and sees a mysterious blader defeating everybody there with his bey. Austra quickly challenges him to a battle, and is sure of his victory. But what's this? His opponent's bey doesn't even have a track, and it changes modes?! Has Austra bitten more then he could chew? Find out next time!

I know that last part was cheesy, but whatever. Enjoy!
Jun. 23, 2011  4:21 PM
 
Name: Yang (just a cool nick name for me Tongue_out)

Age: 16

Cloths: Dark Cloths, with a hood that doesn't show his face, all that can be seen is his mouth.

Bey: Quetzalcoatl 90 WF (later evolves to) Death Quetzalcoatl 125 RDF (bey status Unknown)

Speacial Move(s): 1) Golden Serpent Constrictor (becomes golden, then hits the opposing bey and circles it really fast, this reduces the opposing beys speed)
(learns later) 2) Quetzalcoatl Dark Chaos (Charges for 3 seconds while gaining a dark aura, then charges ino the opposing bey, while taking it into the air, then goes past the bey to gain more height, to charge back down and force the opposing bey to the ground, this move can give heavy damage)
(after evolving learns) 3) Reek Death to All (slows down all beys in stadium (imitates rotting fleshand bones) then goes in to smash up the other bey into shard, then to finnish of with a huge KO, which can slice the other bey in half on impact)

Description: Yang is a very dark blader, with a hidden past, he doesnt fight for either side, but seems to be quite destructive, his bey 'Quetzalcoatl' is a serpent deity, which can actually communicate with others, although the bey doesn't seem much it is the yang of the 'Yin & Yang', this is where the blader also gets his name from.

the Blader is surrounded in mystery and can be classed as an assassin as he tends to go out with a goal in mind, with this goal the targets bey tends to get devoured by Quetzalcoatl as if its been eaten.

But is he really bad, and who is who is the Yin?
Jun. 23, 2011  4:34 PM
 
The main character's mom knows how to play beyblade and even using a special move Orz
Is this a gimmick?
Jun. 23, 2011  6:55 PM
 
Name: Iakou metari
Beyblade: Eclipse draco Mwa130 rsf. Eclipse is like burn, but more rigid and sharper to increase attack, draco is a round energy ring that looks like a dragon curled around so its mouth touches its tail. Mwa130, Metal wing attack, strikes out toward the opponents spin track with sharp metal wings, Rsf, rubber sharp flat, like rubber flat, but with a sharp tip protruding from the middle. Eclipse draco is a stamina/attack combo bey.
Character description: Has spiky white hair with a black lining, shaped like kyoya's, where's normal jeans, and a long black coat, with a white lining. Has a white shirt underneath. Personality wise, he is kind and gentle, but doesn't talk much. He never gloats over a victory, but always fights his hardest. He stays away from people normally unless there his close freinds.
Special moves: Final eclipse, Eclipse draco leaps into the air, eclipses either the sun, moon, or stage lights, and the flies down shining white, striking the bey, also meets air attacks in midair. Eclipse stadium, Eclipse draco spins around the arena creating a black vortex, that then lights up striking everything within with the last of his power, spins out always afterword.
If you accept it feel free to make any changes
Jun. 23, 2011  6:58 PM
 
Not even any reviews? This isn't my story, but I still wrote this chapter....
Jun. 23, 2011  7:01 PM
 
Oh sorry, i liked it, and it reminds me of when i make my mom bey with me. I liked it, it was a good story.
Jun. 23, 2011  7:14 PM
 
(Jun. 23, 2011  6:58 PM)GaHooleone Wrote: Not even any reviews? This isn't my story, but I still wrote this chapter....

its good, i read the whole thing, although it did take a while to realize the mothers bey (Basalt Pegasis 85 Q)

I also like the switch in tides, as its kinda like how one tends to batter the other, but the other overcomes, type thing.

you could use paragraphs tho, as it would make it more readable.

lastly describe the beys, the colors, the stadium and stuff, for example I thought it was an attack stadium (plastic) but a you can't bury a bey into a hole in that, so after the end i believe it might be a stadium like a carved wood one or somet. It's jut a confusion that can be caused without description lol.

over all i think its quite good, a few minor improvements, but hey, sorry if I've been a tough critic Pinching_eyes
Jun. 23, 2011  7:39 PM
 
Nah, it's alright. I appreciate criticism.

The tab button doesn't work on here though. Paragraphs are impossible, since it just makes it go to the next option instead of indenting for a paragraph. The original copy on the word document was paragraphed.

And yeah, it was supposed to be a gravel stadium to imitate the huge ones in real life (I think those are supposed to be made of gravel), I'll edit that later.
Jun. 24, 2011  5:07 AM
 
Chpt 3 will be here in a Day or Two. And All characters are accepted and will be in chpt 4, 5 or 6.
Jun. 27, 2011  7:01 AM
 
(Jun. 23, 2011  3:03 PM)GaHooleone Wrote: Next chapter!
As Alejandro helps George perfect his special move, Austra decides to look for a good battle. She goes to the park, and sees a mysterious blader defeating everybody there with his bey. Austra quickly challenges him to a battle, and is sure of his victory. But what's this? His opponent's bey doesn't even have a track, and it changes modes?! Has Austra bitten more then she could chew? Find out next time!

I know that last part was cheesy, but whatever. Enjoy!

Austra Is a girl...

Chpt 3: Austra's New Frienemy?


" Alejandro will you help me with something" I said.
"Yea sure what is it, and call me Alex" Said Alex. I motioned for him to come into the other room.
"Fine then I'm going to Beypark" Austra said.
"I need to go tell all my friends I beat you" Mom said laughing.
As Alex and I walked into the other room I said "I need a special Move".
"Fine" He states "Training Starts tomorow".


Meanwhile at Beypark
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAA" A kid yelled running away with peices of a shattered bey.
"Who's next" A mysterious blader said with a crooked smile.
"Me" Austra said confidently showing him her bey. He took out his bey smiling.
Austra imediately recognized the beys parts it was Galaxy Gil but it had no Track only a big tip.
"3,2,1 Go Shoot" They Both said launching there beys. Galaxy Gil was attacking hard. But L-Drago was attacking a bit harder.
"Go Special Move L-Drago Flying Tri-Dragon" Austra said as L-Drago Leaped into the air.
" Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha" the mysterious blader laughed evily "Gil GALACTIC TAIL WHIP". Gil's tip went from SF to HF and Hit L-Drago and sent it flying.
The blader said "By the way I'm Andrew". He helped Austra up and they walked off to the Beypit tother.

THE NEXT DAY

"Alright training time" Alex said awaking me a 2:00 AM
"What" I said tiredly.
"Training NOW" Alex said firmly. I got up picked up Hydrus and went to the Beystadium in our living room.
"3,2,1 Go Shoot" We said as our bey flew into the staduim.
"Now use your BLADER SPIRIT to become one with your bey". I sat down and started to meditate, putting all my thoughts into my bey.
I stood up and said " GO HYDRUS APOCOLIPTIC WAVE". A wave with 3 hydra heads in it erupted from behind my bey. Aquario attacked, but Hydrus dodged making Aquario hit the wave and another head appeared on it. The heads began to attack
his bey, but it was to much for Hydrus, he stopped spinning.
"Good job you have found your special move" Alex said as he walked off...
Jun. 27, 2011  7:13 AM
 
Good job, i like the 2:00 AM training, i'll need to try that.
Jun. 27, 2011  7:20 AM
 
I am trying that too. And off topic did you notice that M.Cancer90R2F posted the same Character request in Both of our beystories.
Jun. 27, 2011  7:23 AM
 
Yeah, lot's of people put in character requests in multiple stories.
Jun. 27, 2011  7:26 AM
 
Yea I know that, But you put a character request here too so it's a bit funny. (Or at least to me)

On Topic: Anyone see something with Austra and Andrew...
Jun. 27, 2011  7:29 AM
 
Yeah,

See something, like what?
Jun. 27, 2011  7:35 AM
 
Like a rivalry, That something

SPOILER ALERT (Click to View)
Jun. 27, 2011  7:40 AM
 
Sounds interesting
Jul. 02, 2011  1:55 AM
 
I WANNA ENTER

Name:Kuraku Omari
Bey: Rock Leone 85RF
Special move: Final Samurai slash (Epic slashing thing)
Age:12
Blood typeGasp
About:Kuraku isn't usually happy. He hides his own sadness with great humor. The reason why he's like this is becuase of this:
Kuraku was raised by his uncle after his parents died in a fire. He had so many quenstions about the death. Who started the fire? How did he survive? And more important, who were his parents?
Kuraku learned martial arts for 8 years. He then swore he would find out who killed them and get revenge.
Likes:Revenge, his own beyblade, martial arts, random stuff.
Dislikes: Annoyance, fatty stuff from chicken, sadness and madness, person who killed his parents.
Jul. 02, 2011  2:15 AM
 
Your character has been accepted.
Do you mind if he is on the evil side?
Did I need to know his blood type... and please PM me his father and mother's name because_____________.
(You will be PMed this information Clarkie as it is your character).
Jul. 02, 2011  3:45 AM
 
Shield, please don't take this the wrong way, but I liked Ga's chapter better. A LOT better.

Ok, a review, eh?

1. Describe things. You know, descriptive language, use your senses, use good words, and all that carp. Why do I feel like I am repeating myself?

2. Cut down on the dialogue. That's all your story is, and it's not that good when you do that.

for the record, my blood type is O or A
Jul. 02, 2011  4:21 AM
 
*cries*Gosh Sparta How could you be so mean.*cries* JK
I know Ga's is better that is the reason I asked him to write a chpt, so I could improve my chapters.
Yes yes, I know describe the beys. There is a reason I didn't describe his bey...
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