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Quake

Oct. 04, 2011  1:37 AM
 
This is one of six stories I will be writing. Here's Chapter One:

My name is Samantha Parker. The rest of the world knows me as public enemy #2. #1 is my dad. Yet, somehow in the back of a police car, on my way to a maximum security prison, I never thought I'd be framed, then caught, for a crime I didn't commit. I'm innocent, and only my father knows it. But I had nothing to fear. My dad said he had a plan. I trusted him, though, I had NO idea how we are going to get out of a maximum security prison. Unless, of course, we never got in. Which, I didn't.
It was around midnight, and I was on my way to Black Death Maximum Security Prison, in Lanternville, MA. I could see it - on top of a foggy hill. Only problem - the road was very thin, and the trucks BARELY fit on the path. That's when I realized how I was getting out - after I saw a van bash into my father's truck, sending it, the policeman, S.W.A.T. teams, and my innocent father spiraling down into oblivion.
It was my turn. Now the second van hit - and it hit HARD. I literally was expecting death. In fact, I was the only one who wasn't screaming. I was inviting death into my last breaths of my former life.
We hit. The glass shards splintered like wood, impaling everyone in the face, hands, and, in my case the left eye. I screamed in pain, along with the officers, possibly worse off than I was. We hit a second time, and the officers were now either dead or unconscious. I was all that was left. With a final "thud", I was sent flying out of a broken window, slicing my body as I crossed through. I landed in a high tree, and I felt myself falling, smacking my face into branches as I did. With a booming noise, my heart stopped, and I began choking on my own blood. And not long after, my choking stopped, and so did my breathing, and even the intense pain, and I was one with the wild, ready to be reborn in the image of nature...
Oct. 04, 2011  1:41 AM
 
Hmmm... Nice story just make sure you stay in the tense you aré in. It seems like Samantha is recalling what happened so you shouldnt just switch to present tense anytime son. That's just me though.
Oct. 04, 2011  10:46 PM
 
Chapter 2:

Nature is a mysterious force. All the time I had been alive, I was a naturalist. It never occurred to me that I was obsessed with nature until I was reborn in its image. Not even a month earlier than my reincarnation, I started a naturalist club at my school. It started small, but it soon spread. That all changed when I came home one afternoon and found police officers, S.W.A.T. teams, and army officials at my house. I soon found out why: someone had killed the president of the United States, and the government "knew without a doubt" it was my father who committed this horrible injustice. I couldn't believe it, but I accepted it after watching the tapes. The man who killed the president WAS my father.
I was shaken awake one night by my father, who I no longer trusted, but, he told me if I wanted to know the truth, that I would watch the REAL tape. He then slid it into my sheet, and went off to questioning.
I popped in the tape. It showed the image of the president being shot, but, when I saw the shooter, I was relieved it wasn't my father, but shocked it was someone I KNEW. It was James Faljohn.
James was the first person to join my naturalist club. He had also been my best friend since 8th grade. I was in 11th now. What was his part in all this? And why did he betray me, and frame my father? And why did the government believe me when I showed them the tape?
I became known as the girl that helped to kill the president of the United States. But now, I've gained a new name. A new life. A second chance. Nature is now me, and I am now it. And "nature" wants REVENGE.
Oct. 05, 2011  12:35 AM
 
neat! just make the chapters longer and watch out for grammar mistakes and you are done. I dig the plot soo much