Meh, might as well post this, the more CnC, the better.

Some background on The Shadow:
I'm actually intending on publishing this when I'm done. It'll take quite a while, but well, at least before I graduate from College.

PM me if you want the Character Bios.

Act 1 – Start (Click to View)

I heard the hum of his blade as it flew towards me. I realized that I was running faster than I had ever before. Then, I saw an opening. I twisted, my cloak whipping around, hitting the sword just as it neared my back. I slammed down with my sword; I realized that I had released it already. The resulting shockwave sent Typhoon a couple of meters back, perfect.
“Burasuto! Kage no kama (Blast, Shadow Scythe)!” I swung my sword, sending out a massive scythe of black Soul Energy. Typhoon leapt over it and,
“Tsuisuto, harikēn (Twirl, Hurricane)!” A twister of wind burst from his sword, cutting a beeline towards me. I sidestepped, and lifted my left hand, index finger outstretched towards him,
“Hi no hasu (Lotus of Fire)” An amber-ruby coloured ring of fire began to twirl around my finger, then it blasted towards Typhoon, his cloak of white reflecting the flames. It hit him and dispersed, then a vortex of fire surrounded him.
“Karamaru (entwine)!” The flames began to contract, surrounding his entire body, twirling around his outstretched arm. Then I realized that his cloak was on the ground.
“carp.”
I heard his ever-calm voice, “Kōri no airisu, tenkai (Iris of Ice, expand).” The fire vortex suddenly froze, a glint across it betrayed the fact, it was frozen solid. He grinned and raised his sword, I just froze. Trouble. Just as I was preparing myself for his counter attack, we both heard the familiar roar; Rex wanted to talk with us. The fire dispersed, the ice melted, we picked up our cloaks and with terepōto – reberu 3 (teleport, - level 3), disappeared into our base.
In the darkness of the chambers, we talked in hushed whispers, knowing that anyone could have bugged the place, even though it was triple secured with the best technology, better safe than sorry. I heard Izuma whisper, “Hey, Rex, what’s the matter?”
A tall, shadow in the corner replied, “Kujikato, he’s not here yet.”
I laughed silently, I’d know that voice anywhere, “Well if it isn’t Hawk, what brings you here?”
“Heh, same reason as you Typhoon, Rex.”
Suddenly, a door burst open and a figure stood in the shadow, filling the doorframe. Then, it spoke, “Well, good, everyone is here already. Come, let us relax for a while, these are hard times.”
Izuma muttered, “They sure are Rex, they sure are.”
We sat down at a circular table, each of us seated at our respective places, Shadow at the Dragon, Rex at the Lion, Hawk at the Hawk (no pun intended), and I at the Eagle. Izuma’s long hair, edged in black, rustled softly in the wind as he spoke, “So, Rex, what now? Grant on the move again?”
Rex quietly replied, his voice full of concern, “No Shadow, I’m afraid it’s something that will be hard for all of us, especially for you.”
Hawk questioned, his voice sounding very hollow through his mask, “Rex, if Kujikato can’t take it, who do all three of us need to know? After all, you are the Zero, we’re just the First, Second, and Third.”
As I pulled my hood further down my face, I acknowledged my agreement, “I agree with Hawk’s stance, Rex.”
Rex replied, “We have to disband the Twelve, this next mission will only need us four.”
Izuma leapt up, “If this is so serious, we’ll need the others! Why disband the entire Twelve?”
Rex shouted, “Izuma, stand down. I know what I’m doing, the others will know of this plan, however, they must not interfere. It could cost them their lives.”
I broke the tension, “Izuma, get a grip, we are the best, the other’s will be fine.”
Izuma grimaced, “I couldn’t save my father when Grant killed him, I was been told to stand down, just like now. Rex, I understand why, but I can’t risk losing the rest of my family!”
There was a long period of silence, all of us knowing what Izuma was talking about. Then, Rex’s soft voice broke the silence, “Izuma, I know how you feel, you can have a choice, I’ll give you the briefing file, and you can go, tell my your answer within two days. D, Blaze, tell the others and give them the brief. Standard Protocol for info briefs, destroy after reading. You are dismissed.”
We all got up and left, leaving Rex and his sword, the Ancient Destroyer, behind in the darkness.
I got back to my section in the fortress, throwing myself onto the beanbag that lay carelessly in the middle of the floor. I felt really tired after the spar against Typhoon, man he was really strong, way different than what he used to be. Eventually, as the fatigue set over me, my mind began to wander. I saw Typhoon, wait no, it felt like I was seeing the world from his point of view, as if, I was now him…
I slumped into my seat, my eyes visibly worried. Then again, you wouldn’t really tell if I was worried, with my hood and all. I surveyed the room, sighed; it was just as I had left it. These days, one must be wary, even in one’s own house. I leaned back, my hood brushing the tops of my hair as it slid off. I gazed into the mirror, checking my long, slender hair. I laughed, remembering the time that Kuji’ thought that I was a girl. Those were the good times, the good old times. A cool breeze rustled my prize orchids in the room. It was good to be able to kick back and relax, even though these were very troublesome times. A faint sound reached my ever-alert ears. I gave a quick groan, stood up and pulled my hood down, covering any expression except from my voice. Grabbing my sword, the Wind’s Edge, I strolled out.
The Gong had sounded: trouble.
Izuma sprung to his feet, his eyes flashing silver, an invisible fire seem to burn inside him. The only words I could hear from his lips was a quiet, “They’re coming.”
The Four met at the Crossroads of Sqer. Rex voiced everyone’s thoughts, “Grant’s on the move again. Suddenly, a blast of water slammed into Hawk’s chest, sending him flying. He hit the ground in a mess, dead?
“What the hell was that? Only Wipeout can control water that well.”
“Well then brother, I am the one who did that.”
Izuma spun on his heel, and what he saw was indescribable. You can say that twisting the truth is bad, but for Izuma, he just got twisted so hard; it just destroyed his heart. His eyes snapped, the silver suddenly blazing like a furnace, and his only words, “I’ll kill you Grant.” He drew his swords, and unleashed his fury, “Shirubāshadou wa, rirīsu (The Silver Shadow, release). ”
A massive shockwave blasted outwards. All three of us were thrown back, Hawk being tossed like a rag doll. Rex just gasped and said, “He’s gone to the next stage!” It was clear, Izuma had surpassed me, this was amazing. When the dust cleared, I was even more amazed. Gone was his normal cloak and mask, he stood there, his glasses clearly visible, left arm wrapped in cloth, his right burning with energy. His cloak flew, edges torn and blowing wide. His swords had also changed, now he had two of his released swords, but the blades now shimmered pure black, silver flames danced between their edges. His hair also seemed even longer, and was black now, with silver seeming to burst from its edges. This was his inner flame, the flame that would never die: The Will of the Shadows.
Then, with claps of thunder and a mighty roar, a dragon, a dragon I know, slammed onto the earth beside Izuma. Ageos, Guardian of The Shadows, had returned.
It’s been a very long time, is this Sqer? It’s changed so much.
“AGEOS, long time, where have you been?”
“Izuma! Boy am I glad to see you, and WHY ARE YOU RELEASED!”
“Look straight ahead, Grant took one step too far, and I’m gonna make him PAY.”
“What? He brain washed someone?”
“You have no idea how close your guess is Ageos.”
“Well, whoever he or she is, he or she doesn’t stand a chance, after all, we are the Two.”
“carp! Wipeout, get out of there! You don’t stand a chance against the Two!”
“Shaddup Grant, I can take my brother and that old geezer.”
“Fine, if you get killed, not my problem. Hiram, let’s scram.”
“GRANT YOU COWARD! Fine, I’ll handle the Two Shadows myself.”
I leapt up, dancing on Wipeout’s blasts of water, which were pretty much raining down like hell. My rage kept me going, nothing less, and nothing more.
“Hey, sis, care to tell me why?”
“Izuma, Izuma, Izuma, you carp who inherited the Will of the Shadows, I was always the runner up, even Hawk surpassed me.”
“Sonai, you inherited something that I could never surpass, the Will of Water, but as soon as you turned to the darkness, that just went poof, gone with the wind.”
“Really? Or is this just a ruse to make me stop, aint gonna work bro, good bye.”
I only saw a blur, a pure blue blur. Then, I felt a huge blast of cooling water slam into my face. I flew backwards, my hair blowing in the wind. Then, I felt a searing pain as I slammed into the Monument of Sqer. Looks like Sonai awakened her dark side, the signs of infection were clear, she was a Skull Mage now.
“Sis, forgive me, I don’t want to do this.”
I reluctantly raised my hand, and quietly whispered, my eyes brimming with tears, “DESTROY! WILL OF THE SHADOWS!”

At that, I burst into sobs and screams; Grant had just forced me to kill my own sister.
I woke up screaming. Another bad dream, heck, sis betraying us, definitely the last thing to happen. I grabbed the covers, rolled around, and hit the pillow again. As I fell asleep, I remembered Hawk mentioning something about a guy named Icethingajammywhatwasthatsomething and that he was hunting me down. Well, never mind that, what was that weird release I did, didn’t seem Physics, Biology, or Chemistry…

Act 1 – End.

Act 2 – Start (Click to View)

Accessing Restricted Files
Enter Password: **************************************************
Access Granted
Entering X\:Restricted Files\
X\:Restricted Files\Top Wanted List\
X\:Restricted Files\Top Wanted List\The Two\
X\:Restricted Files\Top Wanted List\The Two\Izuma Kujikato Inzori\
File Opened…

Name: Izuma Kujikato Inzori
Call sign: The Shadow
Gender: Male
DOB: Classified
Height: 6’ 7’’
Class: Shadow Sage – Silver
Weapons: Dual Sai and Dual Katana
Abilities:
- Physics: 6th Level Release
- Chemistry: 3rd Level Blast Release, 6th Level Aura Release
- Biology: 5th Level Fuse Release, 5th Level Skill Release, 1st Level Mental Release
Groups:
- The Four: Operative Call sign: REX
- The Two: Shadow Dragon: AGEOS
- The Twelve: Operative Call sign: HAWK. Operative Call sign: A and Operative Call sign: B

NOTE: Data based on collected information from unreliable to confidential sources - not proven facts

Command: Copy File under Username Iceberg as Izuma Kujikato Inzori in C\:My Documents\Target List\Alive\
File Copied as C\:My Documents\Target List\Alive\Izuma Kujikato Inzori
Exiting File…
Exited
Force Shutdown
Computer Shutting down…
-brtz zz-
Hmmm, so this guy is my next target eh? The Shadow, this should be good, his Call sign is also expressive of his rumored power. He seems to be a challenge, good, I feel insanely bored.
That man stood up, his long, ice-white hair flowing in the wind from the fan. With his ice-blue eyes, this man was worse than guys on the wanted list. As far as history is concerned, only people like Grant have even gotten a permanent place on the list. Even so, this guy… Well this guy is beyond those people. Enter Chemistry Blast type, Iceberg. Well, introduction? Sure: Iceberg, Ice-type Chemical Release User. Has minimal skill in Biology, mainly found in usage of traps. Physical Release is at a good level, has supposedly attained the 5th Level Release. Chemical Release is his specialty 7th Level Blast Release. Record of confirmed kills is numbered at 9, all of them from the Top 50 in the wanted list.

Now, do you already want to get to see Iceberg in action? Ok, you’ll get it… Soon.

Rest of Act 2 will be up as soon as I finish it.
Profanity is actually included for the unfiltered, but since the filter is on here (for the sake of kids), it'll be 'carp' instead.

Hope you enjoy, and please, harsh CnC.

Thanks,

Kujikato

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Umm,can someone please CnC this? Either than the lack of description ( I'm workin on it)

Thanks!

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that was an amazing piece of writing
there could of been more description but it was fine
i am really hooked on to this story and want to read more

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Cause i'm just one hell of a butler guardian
Retired Beyblader, just a writer on Your Creations section
Want feedback on a story or need a judge? PM me, and I will try to give you tips and help you to the best of my ability.

No offense, but do you have any stories where the protagonist or any other main character is not a male named Izuma, Kujikato, or another one of your usernames? Maybe you should spice it up a bit; there are hundreds of names to choose from, more if you step outside the cookie cutter archetype you seem to have for most your main characters.

And, the beginning is too... how do I say this, out there? I don't know who the protagonist is, who's chasing him, or why. It sounds more like the next chapter of a fanfiction, rather than the beginning of an original story.

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"Yeah we're all going the same way down. I'm just trying to write it all down." - The Airborne Toxic Event

| Spectrum GFX Team | Beyblade: Redemption | PenPad Forums | Poké-Fusion Lab |

Well, I am planning one. I know what you mean. More like coming form no where?

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Yeah, I guess. That's one way to put it.

Sorta like if you're building a house, you can't just start painting walls without any foundation to begin with!

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"Yeah we're all going the same way down. I'm just trying to write it all down." - The Airborne Toxic Event

| Spectrum GFX Team | Beyblade: Redemption | PenPad Forums | Poké-Fusion Lab |

I get your drag, I'll have a more realistic story soon.

Thanks!

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