Noble Six's Story (accepting character reqeusts. NO CROSSOVERS!!!)

Poll: Is my story good?

Awesome
64.29%
9
Great
21.43%
3
Good
0%
0
OK
7.14%
1
Bad
0%
0
Worse
0%
0
Worser
7.14%
1
Total: 100% 14 vote(s)
Here's the first part:
CHAPTER 1
My name is Denji. I am an orphan. I never new my parents. I was forced to grow up on the streets. Alone. People despised me. They treated me like dirt. I was bullied. I was shunned. It was a living nightmare. But through that whole mess, I had one group of people to look up to: Beybladers. They didn't care what other people thought; when the crowd booed them, and said they couldn't win, they proved them wrong. When the odds were stacked against them, they gave it there all. I decided to become a Beyblader, and when I became succsesful, all the people who treated me like dirt would be forced to cheer for me. I would never have to live in that nightmare again. With my bey, Razor Helios H145 XF I would rise to great heights!

To be continued

So, what do you think?
name:kevin hagata
bio:a nice,caring,and protective(of his friends but excepically of his bey he will not even let someone touch it) 12 year old boy who's bey contains a terrifing power(it a good power but it is very terrifying because it is so strong)he wears black jeans,black shirt with a pegasis symbol HE IS A GOOD GUY OR IN DENJI GROUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bey:shooting star pegasis(the second clear wheel version)aw85r2f
special move:shooting star overdrive
the bey goes around the oppenent in a circle and gets covered in a black energy that has little specks of sliver that looks like stars and the track gets covered in black fire and hits them six times from all sides but on the 6th hit my bey hits the spin track and send them flying upward then pegasis jumps up smashs them down to the ground and then pegasis goes straghit down and the metal wheel and track hits the face bolt
.aw85 stands for attack wings 85 so its pretty much uw145(killer beafowls track) except the track height is lowered and the sides of the have spikes on them also it is made of metal.also the wings on the track come right to the end of the metal wheel and on my command and during my special move the wings get covered with black fire .the metal wheel is pretty much vulcan except each of the wings has 3 slighty curved spikes and in bewteen the spaces of the spikes about 3 millimeters below that space are slighty curved spikes that are set the exact oppsite way.lastly during battle pegasis can swich from left spin to right spin.
beyblade bio:has tremdously super amazing smash attack and aw85 shreds anything that touchs it(except for me and my friends)
awesome story
WOW!
I'm impressed this is great!
I'm in:
Name: Ethan Nightly
Bey: Green Metal Face Comet Dranzer M145 WD (comet is a lot like earth, M145 is a 145 track with a driger ms metal frame on it so it has upper attack, and facebolt has a dranzer emblem from a dranzer ms on it)
Special Moves: *Blazing Comet Rainstorm (Bey goes up emblem flashes then comets rain down on stadium, then a master comet that houses dranzer falls and hits)
*Meteor Counterstance (Emblem flashes then Dranzer gets encased in a comet that helps protect from the enemy attack
Personality: Strong silent and acts independent and doesn't talk much, but deep down, though he never shows it, he has a deep respect for his freinds. However, he has the most respect for Denji, who he considers his greates rival.
Outfit: Dirty Blond, bushy hair, brown eyes, a black scarf that is his trademark sign, a black open jacket with a black under armor tee, dark blue jeans and black shoes

Yes, I designed his personality to resemble Kai from Grev, so if you want to know how he should act then use Grev kai
Sounds good so far 5 stars, Helios bakugan much Tongue_out please continue
Amazing in not ceatuve enoguh to come up with a character but here is a bey a character could use
Ancient Horuseus 85 r2f
Awesome story!!!
Name:Akiru Hakiri
Bey:Altititde Eagle.Altitude description:A cross between thermal and Earth wheels,but when it's special move happens 2 metal wings pop out the sides.
Special Move:Altitude Strike...Eagle's Altitude wings pop out and it strikes 11 times and ont the 11th time it leaps up and hits the bey from above.
CharacteristicsGrinoesn't like to show full strength very ofton and will do anything it takes to protect a friend and always wants to battle and talks mediumly
Looks Like:Wears a layered-tee(Black and Dark Violet)and it says "Altitude" on the front and says "Time Dynasty" on the back and wears cargo shorts and orange shoes
Side:Good!!!
(Jan. 14, 2011  4:17 AM)Conan Wrote: Sounds good so far 5 stars, Helios bakugan much Tongue_out please continue

What sort of anything would come from an exploding ball? (I'm learning japanese, so I know what bakugan means)

@Everyone else: If you want a character, put the character's alignment, or I'll just put them down as a bad guy.
no i was saying that helios seemed like a bakugan reference i was just messin with ya
Well, it is really cool.I like it.

and here's a character. A girl(hope it's okay so)

Name: Kat Teeria
Bey:storm kite(i mean the bird, of course^^)(stamina type)
Special: Sky Chrusher
Storm kite gets up very high, then lands directly on the other bey, out of reach of the most attacks and sometimes even unbalancing the opponent
Kat has reddish brown hair and green eyes. She alwas wears a necklace with black stone, and often green clothes.
Charasteristics:inquiring, curious and thoughtful, tough sometimes appears shy and reserved
Side:first neutral, maybe later good
Nice story.I like it alot.

Here's my character

Name:Reiki Hiwazara
BeyEeearth Aries SRD(Spinning Rubber Defense)140RWB(Rubber Wide Ball)
TypeGrinefense
Special Move:Iron Rammer,the bey turns into solid steel and knocks the opponent out of the arena.
Clothes:Reiki has black spikey hair and glasses,black jeans with a chain,a gray t-shirt with the aries symbol on it,a gray and white striped hoodie,black and white slip on shoes,and a belt that holds his grip and bey.
Characteristics:He likes to joke around with his friends but when he's blading he gets serious and tries to win.He also likes to go online and shop at the B-Pit.
Side:Good
Good story

Name: Briel
Beblade: Green Libra 100 WB ( Green Is like rock but bigger and green ) The bey is all green.
Special Move: Green Tornado. Libra makes a green tornado turning all things green and blowing the opponent bey away.
Look: He is obssesed with green. Green hair (hair is like ginka's), Green T shirt, Green jeans, Green shoes, Green skin.
He is a very strong blader and wants to get even stronger. Found Libra when felt from the sky. He play all the time but when is time to get serius he get serius. And he is very very smart. He is good.
DID YOU JUST SAY GREEN SKIN??!!!!????!!!!!

I wish I had green skin.... however, I would most likely be thought of as a reptile and hunted for game.
Name: Antonio Reyes
Beyblade: RF Rubber Rabbit R145 RHF/RS
good a 13 year old boy very quiet and kind of a loner tends to sneak up on people
Wears black hoodie and blue jeans brown spiky hair
A beyblade commpletely made of rubber It is a great defense type seems like it has no flaws with metal coated in rubber as well. When beys hit it they just bounce off.
Special move:crazy hopper hops around the stadium at an extreme speed until the opponent cant see it then it hits the bey at full speed hitting it in the air and then hitting it continuasly in mid air
Here's the next part of the story. I had to change some character alignments (sorry,people).

Chapter 2
Denji walked down the road, heedless of his long white bangs flapping in the wind. His black sweatpants and tee shirt were pressed against his body. His blue eyes gleamed with ever-present hatred. He was going to a local beyblade tournament, ready to tear down anything in his way. He got to the tournament, registered, and waited for his battle. His battle was the last in the first round. The other battles passed very quickly. Finally, his battle came. He was up against a boy named Kevin Hagata. They walked up to the stadium.
"3...2...1... Let it rip!" they both said.
"I'll finish this fast. Go Shooting Star Pegasis!" yelled Kevin. Pegasis charged at Helios, but Helios dodged, and Pegasis missed completely.
"I thought you said you wanted to finish this quick," said Denji, "oh well, look's like that's my job. Special move, Destuction Pattern!" Helios started to graze the sides of Pegasis, with each strike more powerful than the last. Pegasis began to wobble. Then, Kevin noticed something; Pegasis's parts began to crack.
"What are you doing?!?" screamed Kevin.
"What does it look like?" replied Denji, "Destroying your bey. I will never forgive the people of this town, and now you, one of the townsfolk, will know a fraction of the pain I felt! Go, Razor Helios! Finisher move! Light Brigade Charge!" Helios lauched itself toward Pegasis.
"No! I won't allow it! Meet him head on, Pegasis!" shouted Kevin desperately. The two bey clashed with amazing force. Kevin started crying for a good reason:

Pegasis shattered.

To be continued
(joke removed because it was seen as rude,their was intention of being rude or anything of that matter,though I don't get what is rude about a noble Pegasus or a Pegasus in Spartan armor :V)Great chapter. Though the chapters are kinda of short, you did use some good detail and thatswhat counts
Well that was..rude!
(Jan. 18, 2011  4:45 AM)C-Dub Wrote: Well that was..rude!

To whom are you speaking?

@ Everyone else: Just a warning, but crossover character requests will not be left with a beyblade intact when I'm through with them!
(Jan. 19, 2011  12:46 AM)Noble Six Wrote:
(Jan. 18, 2011  4:45 AM)C-Dub Wrote: Well that was..rude!

To whom are you speaking?

@ Everyone else: Just a warning, but crossover character requests will not be left with a beyblade intact when I'm through with them!

He's talking about the rude joke Gloomy made. Don't worry, it's not you.
(Jan. 19, 2011  1:22 AM)GaHooleone Wrote:
(Jan. 19, 2011  12:46 AM)Noble Six Wrote:
(Jan. 18, 2011  4:45 AM)C-Dub Wrote: Well that was..rude!

To whom are you speaking?

@ Everyone else: Just a warning, but crossover character requests will not be left with a beyblade intact when I'm through with them!

He's talking about the rude joke Gloomy made. Don't worry, it's not you.

How on earth was that even rude? A noble metal wheel and a Pegasus clear wheel with an 85 track and R2F tip that is all I meant by that post :V nothing more nothing less :V please I'd love to know how that was rude just dying to know Serious
Anyways I removed the apparently rude joke :V I fail at comedy I know,sorry if anyone was offend?