(Aug. 03, 2011 6:09 PM)Temporal Wrote: I has arrived! ...This. Is. garbage.My mom's DOG writes better than THIS. I mean, really. Please, at least ATTEMPT to spell words right, the storyline is trash, the characters are about as robust as the garbage I just took out that a dog peed on, and really? The story is simply bad. You don't have ANY character development, and the whole point is to say how awesome L-Drago is, and how awesome John is for controlling it. Besides, there is NO WAY that any of this even makes sense. 99 bladers... Dude, watch the first four episodes of Metal Fight Beyblade. It's been done. I've seen better grammar when I helped out a bunch of kindergarten kids, and the story is a brick. It seems you have let the "This is pretty gud!" posts get to your head, even though the story was bad from day one. I have held off on this for a while, HOPING that you'd maybe get better, but it seems you won't. Just kill the story. It's not worth reading; it's not worth writing. Brutally honest opinion. And yet people still wonder why we needed the "State of the Creations Forum" thread. Prime example.
Oh, phew. Looks like I don't have to rant myself; Temporal took the words right otta me mouth.
I second everything mentioned in his post. Kill this story.
Strike it dead.