This is my story.I'm making a comic but before I drew it I decided to write down.So i decided to share it with you guys enjoy.

Chp.1

Spoiler (Click to View)

As a big greyish truck pulled to a slow stedy hault a deepish voice said''Hiro,wake up...wake up were here.''.''*yawn*Were exactly is here?''said Hiro still half asleep.''Were at our new home in Patreas.''said the deep voice.''Daddy why did we have to move?''Hiro said scratching his head.''Its too hard to explain''He said ''Here will you carry this box for me as he unloads the back of the truck.''Ok thats the last of the boxes.''his dad said hitting the side of the truck letting the driver know he could leave.as the truck drove away Hiro and his dad started walking up the walk way leading to their new house.A man in light armor stopped them and said''Excuse but are you Karu "Yes I am why who wants to know?''the man replied the "King himself.''Hiro shouted with amazement''THE KING!!'' the man said''Yes your father is a very brave warrior the king has been expecting him for a very long time you see your father is one of the greatest warriors around and he decided to join us with our army.''My daddy isnt warrior hes just ... a daddy.'' replied Hiro''Ok thats enough talking.'' said karu.so they continued walking until about five minutes untill they was at the foot of the castle''Wow!''said hiro with excitment''So this is where the king lives?''This is where you live also Hiro.''said Aaron(the knight guy)''Daddy is this really where well will be living?''.Karu did not reply.A large drawbridge let down and let Hiro Karu and Aaron into the castle.''Here I will lead ya'll to your room.''Aaron said.They walked to the left and ended up outside in a courtyard like place but with no grass just cement.They walked through a couple of walkways and ended up to at a large door. ''Right through here is your room is when you are finished unpacking everything the king would like to see you.''said Aaron.When they walked in there was a big room with a winding staircase to the right side.''The rooms are up there.''said Aaron pointing at the staircase.''Wow this place is so awesome.i cant belive were living here!''Hiro exclamied.

Chp.2

Spoiler (Click to View)

While unpacking there boxes Hiro noticed a sword it was about twice the size of him in length and width."Daddy,whos sword is this and where did it come from?I've never seen it before."Hiro asked while attempting to pick it up.There was no answer from him."Daddy wh.."Just leave it alone and don't worry about it."Karu said interupting Hiro quickly.After about thirty minutes of unpacking and Hiro's constant questions Karu finally started making his way down the spiral staircase."Wait daddy what am I suppose to do while your down there?"Hiro asked while stumbling over his feet trying to reach his dad before he was to far down the staircase."Hmmm,go make some friends with the other kids in the village."said Karu while still walking down the staircase."YAY!!Friends!"Hiro shouted while running down the staircase past his father.Hiro ran all the way down the stairs through some halls untill he found the big draw ridge that they entered in.SLAMMM!!Without watching where he was going Hiro ran straight into the closed drawbridge."Are you okay Hiro?"Said Aaron who was walking by."Yeah I think so.Will you come open this drawbridge for me please?"asked Hiro while trying to regain his balance."Ummm,yeah.You need to watch where you are going for nowone where things like this wont happen,okay?"He said while walking twoards the lever that lifted the drawbridge."No thanks,I got ears like an eagle!"Hiro shouted with confidence.Hiro quickly dashed out of the castle be for the drawbridge was completely down."That kid is gonna get into alot of truble one day if he dosen't wake up and see the truth."Aaron thought to himself finishing lowering the drawbridge."I couldn't imagine what would happen to that kid if his dad wasn't around"Meanwhile Karu was talking with the king who told him of grave danger."Karu old pal,I called you here for a very important matter."What might that be?"He asked the king"Ren.Ren is back it turns out that you didn't kill him way back when.He just faked the kill and has recently been active in a few of the other villages that are on the other side of the mountains just about five miles away from here.He totally destroyed Mountain Side village in a firey blaze."The king could barely get the words out of his mouth from the fear he held inside.After hearing what he just heared Karu was left with an expression on his face one of which that he just saw a ghost.

Chp.3

Spoiler (Click to View)

"Gonna make some friends,I can't wait!"Hiro sang to himself as he ran throught the castle's courtyard to the main gate."HEY!YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!"screamed a man from afar.Hiro stopped and thought "Is he talking to me?"The man came charging twoards Hiro.Hiro just stood there and wondered.The man got within ten feet of Hiro.Hiro droped down in the fetle position.Then man ran straight past Hiro."I wonder what his deal was?"Hiro muttered to himself.Hiro continued walking foward.He closed his eyes and started day-dreaming."I wonder what it would be like to be a great warrior like my dad?"Hiro imagined himself dressed like a knight or a warrior ready for combat.He thought of how awesome he would look with armor on.Then he imagined himself walking down the street in armor with his chest poking out and standing straight up with every girl he walked by sighing and falling to the ground."Hey kid watch were you're going!"a inraged voice spoke."Huh?"Hiro asked.While opening his eyes he noticed there was a girl standing in front of him with an angry look on her face."You bumped into me while you was "day-dreaming"."Listen kid,you need to watch were you're going.."the girl said while walking around Hiro."Wait."Hiro quickly spoke"Did you just call me a kid?"."Uhh yeah your're a kid." the girl replied."With a questioned and some what angry expression Hiro said"I'm not a kid,I'm a child.Your're a kid you stupid girl."."WHAT!?!?!"the girl yelled.

Chp.4

Spoiler (Click to View)

The girl reared up her fist as it she was going to hit Hiro."Hold it you two."A man said."What?"The girl turned around out of curiosity,it was the man who ran past Hiro earlier.The man had a young skinny looking man tied up behind him."Don't hit him it would just make matters worse you'll be in trouble for hitting someone around here."The man spoke with a confident voice."Yes sir.."the girl replied.Hiro just sat and watched with amusement."And you,you shouldn't go day-dreaming while you're walking.Got that?"."Uh,Yes sir."The man started back walking back from the way he came before."Sorry."Hiro said to the girl."It's okay just watch where you're going for now on.Oh, by the way my names Nina,whats yours?"Nina asked."Uh,Hiro."Hiro had sort of a confused look on his face."Whats withe the look?".Hiro didn't answer he just sat there and didn't say a word."Hello?I said wahts wit.."Hiro cut her off and quickly asked"Do you want to be friends?".Nina sat there with a confused face that matched Hiro's just a minute ago."Umm,sure I guess."Hiro then had a huge grin on his face and jumped with joy saying"Yay!!I got a friend!"as if it were a life-time achivement award."Whats wrong with you?"Nina asked"I've never had a friend before.People in my old village just made fun of me.Well...I did have one friend but I forgot what happened to him."Hiro spoke witha happy tone as if he didn't care about getting picked on."Ok?Well where do you live?"Hiro pointed to the castle and said"There,I live there..at least I think."Hiro had a slight grin on his face."You can't live there."."Why not?"Hiro asked"It's my daddy's castle and no one lives there but me him and his soldiers."

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

ill give you suggestions.....

title: hiro's surprises
the new home:patreas
dad's name:karu

---

Follow me on Twitter: @SynthGraphics

Title: The hero of Beyblade: Hiro
The new home: Ever Grande City (Pokemon)
father: takeshi

---

Team IB Revolutions

Thanks to N0body for the avatar and Synth for the signature!

Title: The hero of Beyblade: Hiro
The new home: Ever Grande City (Pokemon)
father: takeshi

its not a beyblade story and i dont want to copy write pokemon im planing on actually makeing thisa a comic one day

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

ok i fixed it chapter one is now complete

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

Don't keep using 'He said'. It gets really repetitive. Also, in between the dialogue, try to present how the characters are feeling. If your guy is sad that he moved, have him sigh. If he is frustrated, say he was going to boil. Thirdly, use a lot of description, even for the smaller things. It will help your story. How big was the drawbridge? What did the castle look like? Take all of these questions into account.

---

"Life isn't about how hard you can hit;
it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"
{[YT]} [|BEYBLOG|] (â—ŠSoG-My Bookâ—Š)/<DA>\

The story is horrible(not trying to be mean). Keep practicing and don't give up.

---

I'll Bite You To Death If You Disturb The Peace Or Attract A Crowd.

Don't keep using 'He said'. It gets really repetitive. Also, in between the dialogue, try to present how the characters are feeling. If your guy is sad that he moved, have him sigh. If he is frustrated, say he was going to boil. Thirdly, use a lot of description, even for the smaller things. It will help your story. How big was the drawbridge? What did the castle look like? Take all of these questions into account.

well its gonna be a comic not just a plane story so you will be able to see the emotions and size of something in the panels also there will be no he said just speech bubbles

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

Don't keep using 'He said'. It gets really repetitive. Also, in between the dialogue, try to present how the characters are feeling. If your guy is sad that he moved, have him sigh. If he is frustrated, say he was going to boil. Thirdly, use a lot of description, even for the smaller things. It will help your story. How big was the drawbridge? What did the castle look like? Take all of these questions into account.

well its gonna be a comic not just a plane story so you will be able to see the emotions and size of something in the panels also there will be no he said just speech bubbles

i liked it but i agree with sparta, ther is a repitition fo chapter 2 dont use the same thing over. just cause it might be a comic one day doesnt mean that we will be able to see the emotion and their faces. P.S when will chapter 2 be ready im eager to find out what happens next? (please be better than chapter 1)

u will b able 2 c their emotions and chp.2 sometime saturday

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

Ok guys chp.2 is now up!Sorry it took so long I've just been so caught up with school work and all I haven't been able to think of it but, now it's SPRING BREAK!! yay so I can add more to this I'll add chp.3 in 2-3 days I'm Still taking character request.

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

it's a decent story needs few adjustments though...

---

Hey check out my channel by clicking: here
-Tnx KingCepheusIII and Omega12!!

Chp.3 is now up.

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

P.S. Sorry for crappy ending on 3 my dad was rushing me to get off the computer.

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

Chp.4 is now up.Let me know what you think.

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

Hey guys,by guys I mean the few people who will actually read this *sigh*,I'm gonna upload the character art for Hiro,Nina,Karu,the King,and Ren.I may upload some characters to come also,I don't know yet.

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

Well..when I came here I hoped that I wouldn't be the last person to post here..but whatever..well sorry guys but,my computer is messing up and won't let me upload the photos I'll try again later.

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

Character request:
Ninja:
name:Yusimana
weapon: shuriken, kunai, boomerang, katana etc.
wears black samurai helm with brown leather pads on bill of helm. has non-visible mouth, and has regular ninja gear that is red and black. he can substitute himself as a flee technique.

Character request:
Ninja:
name:Yusimana
weapon: shuriken, kunai, boomerang, katana etc.
wears black samurai helm with brown leather pads on bill of helm. has non-visible mouth, and has regular ninja gear that is red and black. he can substitute himself as a flee technique.

I remember at school before you wanted him to be a lancer,I'll change it.

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."

*sigh*Can someone close this?It's going nowhere..no one reads it.It won't be missed.

---

"I'll still be here tomorrow,to high five you yesterday..."
Theres three types of people in the world,those who can count and those who can't."
"I'm Idek,or am I still Idk?Either way I'm still an acronym."