My Beyblade story, Shadow BeyBlade Academy International accepting characters

Poll: do you want me to continue?

Yes!! Smile
84.21%
16
No... Unhappy
15.79%
3
Total: 100% 19 vote(s)
my story.....5 minutes later ....aint got one
..but kyouya does i think he doesont have parents and hesss my fav thats why my pic has a lion in it cool or what.......can i take the cool back secound guessing that.....but love kyouya as an character he is awsome no secound thought or anything...he is so awsome ...^_^
Name:Tenji Okana
Bey: Static Libra FM145 ESB (left spin)
Static: it resembles the hyper wheel but its metal is shaped like lightning bolts
FM145:like the M145 track the beyblader is allowed to move the track to different side but FM 145 freely moves from side to side causing a static effect
ESB:like Es its a bit bigger with a free moving ball keeping the beys balance intact
character apperance: Like Tobio(capt.capri) just black with black hair
Personality:ecstatic and friendly
Special move: Cybernetic Shockwave -Due to FM145 it creates a heavy electric field out from the bey constantly shocking the the other bey with electric shocks causing the bey to lose balance and slow down
Hope you like it
i need more info an the appearance and personality, and at least 2 special moves, other than that, character acepted
ok everyone, about the Darkness, his character will hopefully be from one of the users that has an awesomely evil bey, all the other characters will be his minions, so please change their names and they will appear in the following chapters
minion 1: Chapter 7
minion 2:Chapter 8
and so forth
Bump, Chapter 6 coming soon
chap 6 preview!
Chapter 6, "The Power of Defense, Azumi and Nao VS Rioge and Intre!"
BUMP, please read my story, i know i havent updated it recently, but i blame schoolwork
Chapter 6 seems to be great! Cant wait for it! When will that preview change to a whole chapter?
cant wait for the next chapter i battle again!!!!
heres my edit
Name:Tenji Okana
Bey: Static Libra FM145 ESB(left spin good guy)
Static: it resembles the hyper wheel but its metal is shaped like lightning bolts
FM145:like the M145 track the beyblader is allowed to move the track to different side but FM 145 ffreely moves from side to side causing a static effect
ESB:like Es its a bit bigger with a free moving ball keeping the beys balance intact
Personality:ecstatic and friendly but when he blades he becomes serious
Special move: Cybernetic Shockwave -Due to FM145 it creates a heavy electric field out from the bey constantly shocking the the other bey with electric shocks causing the bey to lose balance and slow down
special move 2:Giga Shock -libra starts to glow a bright yellow as it speeds around the stadium creating a bright golden ring trapping the opposing bey as it shoots at it constantly wearing the other bey down
Hope you like it
ok, hes in
TADA, heres the full chapter 6!

Chapter 6, "The Power of Defense, Azumi and Nao VS Rioge and Intre!" [spoiler]
Izuma quickly got his composure back, he said to all of us, "Let's get back to base, no use standing here starring into nowhere.” Then Rez said, ” Bro, I want to fight Azumi, I want to see how far his attacking power goes.” Azumi replied, “Ok, lets go!” as we got got up to the stadium, Intre and Nao complained, “HEY! We want to battle to!” ok then I said, “Then it’s Nao and Azumi VS Rioge and Intre.”

The Battle started, it was highly intense, whenever Nao or Azumi tried to attack, Rioge would dodge or use Magma Shield. Suddenly, Azumi yelled to Intre, “Intre, lets end them!” Nao and Rioge were shocked, and so was I. I yelled Rioge, “Use the Level X move I thought you!” Rioge nodded, then, he whispered something to Nao. Then they yelled, New Team special attack, Typhoon Volcano! As they said that, Angel and Dino began to glow, as Angel Created a Typhoon and Dino formed a Volcano. Then the volcano erupted. Angel’s typhoon caught the flying lava and used it to attack both Shinobi and Defense. Their spin power was reduced to just 10% each! Then, they too yelled in unison, Dark Special Move, Ninja Defense! A wall of Shuriken appeared and circled around both beys, suddenly, it charges, dispelling the Lava Typhoon and smashing Rioge’s Bey, Dino in half. Hatachi quietly watched all this, suddenly he yelled, “You crazy people, I’ll destroy your beys!” as he said that, He Launched his bey, Static Zerker. He charged at them, only to get Zerker smashed in two and nearly destroyed. Then I understood what was going on, Intre and Azumi weren’t our friends, they were just pretending, they actually with that weirdo dude! I yelled to all of them, “GUYS, GET BACK, IT’S A TRAP!” Hatachi and Nao stopped their barrage of attacks, taking the oppurnituy, Azumi and Intre shattered Hatachi’s Bey, then Nao yelled, “Angel, Get Back, it’s to dangerous, I don’t want you destroyed!” then I decided to take amtters into my own hand, I then launched Samurai, instantly using the Hidden Legend Seal, I trapped Azumi and Intre within a pot. Then I turned my attention to Hatachi and Rioge, knowing that a blader is nothing without a bey, I said, “Guys, relax I have new beys for you.” As I said that, I handed them brand new beys, Electric Berserker and Magma Saurian. They were overjoyed, then I said, “Guys lets go, the two cant to anything now, unless someone breaks the Hidden Legend Seal, which only a Dark can do, and a really powerful one at that.”
An Hour Later
I, Xad III stood beside the jar that he, my eternal enemy, Izuma Inzori, had sealed my two greatest warriors within, breaking the seal I said, “Azumi, Intre, if you two fail me two more times, I WILL KILL YOU!” they silently nodded, knowing that they had failed in their mission, Destroy or capture Izuma Inzori and his allies.
that was great!!!!!!! you know how there is a dark balance blader can intre be the dark defence blader or somthing like that? Smile
yeah, thats the idea of the story. Xad is the Dark Balance type, Intre is the Dark Defense type, Izuma in the Legendary balance type, so on and so forth.
guys, should i put up a preview of the final chapter?
final chapter but u just started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so, just to make it more interesting. also, chap 7 is coming soon
I've noticed that you tend to use a lot of "thens" and "Whens". Try to cut down on those, and add more descriptions. You want the reader to be able to see an image of what you're trying to write about, instead of just having a block of dialogue. Maybe you can imagine that banana or whatever, but the reader probably doesn't even know what you're trying to write about. Just keep that in mind when you're writing.
Great, thx a bnch!
And also Sparta, remember that u are writing the next chap?!