Leone's War

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Total: 100% 34 vote(s)
Sorry but the next post won't be until tommorow I have been studying a lot for the PSATs
This is a great story!
Want to read more of it!
Smile
I really liked it.

Also, General Mills, heehee.

http://www.generalmills.com/
(Oct. 12, 2010  11:38 PM)ShredderN64 Wrote: Also, General Mills, heehee.

http://www.generalmills.com/

what??? what does this hav to do with the story???

Edit: General mills oh now i get it *facepalm* fail
It's just funny how, he used Generel Mills.
It's also the name of that company.
Cereal company haha.
hey beyhunter when you mean couple vids relating you mean like beybattles or like war videos u will make?
beybattles, will be explained later.... General Mills was one of my friends nicknames... he called me Luteint Dowelld (alot of emphasize on the d)
Add parts (this was expaned on since halloween is coming up Stupid )
So I sat there trying to get used to my new base. It was probably miles away from my old one. I am now under command of a new General. This one’s name is General Dowelld. A friend of Mill’s. We call him Dow Jones, or Dowie, Bulldowzer, but currently we call him Dowoween. This is because it is so close to Halloween. We don’t get candy here, but we’ll get lead bullets. It is just plain creepy during Halloween here. We give candy to the kids except they can only trick or treat when during the day, under surveillance. They trick or treat in “costumes” that they made. We usually hand out hygiene products, money, and of course candy.
“Alright curfew time” said Dowelld. The kids didn’t moan or groan, they seemed satisfied with what they got and were probably tired. It was sunset, such beautiful colors. The sky was tan like the sand almost matching, somewhat looking like a desert in the sky. Along with that orange, it reminded me of the tangerines I used to eat a lot. I haven’t had one in months. There was one more color, yet somewhat indescribable. Was it pink, or was it red, but there was some type of orange. It was just so indescribable. What colors do I use to describe this color? I heard gunshots and got out of the trance. The kids were inside. Dowelld motioned to follow him, so I did. The violence was coming from the northeastern area. There was fire and dead bodies. I felt the change in the air as something flew past me. The ground blew up and the shockwave pushed me on my face along with Dowelld. We got up and got behind protection. Others met up with use. I heard a scream from a child. Out of instinct I ran. Dowelld figured out what was going on and singled two others to go with me. I passed more forces who were going into the blind fighting. As I ran I felt Leone rub against my chest like how my brother would to wake me up. I couldn’t think about him now. We arrived at the building where the children were. A busted door, children nowhere in sight. I ran in and just unloaded. No one was there. What the carp did I just do I thought. I was told to get out of there and what the carp I was doing.
I saw the stairs. I heard the footsteps. They knew I was here. I pointed my gun at the stairs. I’m such a dumbass. I just endangered those children. The minute the first one came downstairs I killed him. I singled the others to follow. I ran up those stairs to the hell that exists there. How ironic. I shot every last enemy up those stairs. I arrived at the doors, the others were close behind. I told the others to be quiet. It seemed they were stupid because they thought we were dead. I easdropped and heard “Well it looks like your rescue failed” said one of the terrorist. I say terrorist since they are inflicting fear upon the children to make a point. “So who feels like living and joining us?” he said. There was no response. “Hmmmm… not old enough to answer” he said, followed by him loading a gun. “So they are nine of you, so I need 9 bullets” he threatened. That’s all I need to hear. We threw a flash bang so the children wouldn’t see. One of the soldiers shot him while me and the other pulled him out of the room. We had to somehow disguise it. I went in and said “I said trick or treat. I hope I didn’t scare you that much. None of that was real. You guys are alright right?” They all said yes and some clapped. Some said it was a good performance and that they actually believed it. “Well we gotta keep things interesting. Well good night children you can return to your sleep.” They all replied okay and went to sleep.
When I returned to the area, the wounded were being carried away. 2 casualties. They died on Halloween. The sunset was gone. O how I wished it would come back. I went to my bunk and sat down. I placed Leone by my side. “At least we survived so far” I said to it. It seemed to just stare at me watching me, like a guardian angel. Leone was my only connection to my family so I went everywhere with it. I don’t know if I should say he, what if it was a girl? Anyway I sat there and remember the sunset and just pondered how in God’s holy name can you find peace in warfare?
Competition idea- may go through DO NOT START until approved
Create a sig for this(i will give picture of bey)
Winner(an idea) will be mentioned in story or (dont know yet) get a signed typed copy with their sig they made as the cover photo.
I don't know if I should hold this Competition... anyone think I should
ill go with it,then you can advertise in your sig. If you expand it,you should publish it(with can sometimes even be FREE if the story is good enough)and sell some copies to people on WBO.(but sometimes you have no control over the cover)

EDIT: just a farfeched idea i had...
intresting but i can't draw sigs so im out of the compitition already
I may not go through with the idea... anyway today i almost got arrested at barnes and noble Gasp
(Oct. 17, 2010  2:31 AM)BeyHunter Wrote: I may not go through with the idea... anyway today i almost got arrested at barnes and noble Gasp

really?How?
My school was having a fundraiser and we weren't susposed to go around and pass out the vouchers that would have some of the purchase donated to our school... Nobody told me this so the manager came up to me and said if you do not stop this i will call the police and then i explaianed my situation and he took away all of our vouchers. ._. see what miscommunication does... luckily he didnt find my story
something similar happened to me about a year ago,i know what you mean,(why even giv them to kids if you cant even pass them out?)
I know... Im happy I didnt get it arrested or it would look bad when I apply to college in 3 to 4 years... I need to figure out a way to expand this story.. If i can't figure out a way then tommorow comes the ending Unhappy
(Oct. 17, 2010  2:56 AM)BeyHunter Wrote: I need to figure out a way to expand this story.. If i can't figure out a way then tommorow comes the ending Unhappy

ok,give me a little sample of te ending so far.
i gotta go soon,so dont end it tommorow!ill help more tommorow.
Ill figure out something when i sleep.. lol... i develop all my scientific theories in my sleep soo why not an expansion.. Ill do christmas time
Hmm it's pretty good.
But your straying away from Leone a bit. :T
'sniffle , sniffle '.It was so dramatic and sad , I cant believe you turned Beyblade into , pure Awesomeness.
I need to mention leone more... Sorry about that, I been editing this and I have wander a bit from the original.. Hmm I really been trying to show leone as a symbol for his family overal.. The term beyblade, well ill explain this symbol in the end
(Oct. 17, 2010  3:50 AM)BeyHunter Wrote: I need to mention leone more... Sorry about that, I been editing this and I have wander a bit from the original.. Hmm I really been trying to show leone as a symbol for his family overal.. The term beyblade, well ill explain this symbol in the end

also do an epoulog,like,7 years later.(hes back home mabey?)
Epilouge... great idea.. ill do one for both endings
Working on the next newly added part... I dont believe selling these copies would be legal... and then I would have to close down this thread
NEW PART ADDED... TOMMOROW IS SUSPOSED END OF STORY

(Christmas) The horn did not go off. I kept my eyes closed. It’s Christmas, we probably get a sleep-in, I thought. I slightly opened my eye, just a tee bit. I saw white. So excited I opened both of my eyes. It was only Leone. Well at least it’s Christmas. I sat up and Leone was pushed onto the floor and made a clang sound. Almost like the ones I used to hear. How depressing was that noise. It reminds me of home which I long for. I picked up Leone and analyzed it. The green was dull now. It was scratched just a little bit. It was amazing how long this sharpie lasted. I stared at Leone and let all the memories of home sink in. How we would invite the family over for Christmas. Actually eat a home cooked meal. A box was thrown at me and Leone popped out of my hand. “Playing with you toy, private. Well here’s some more, guessing how the box makes that annoying sound” sneered the mailman. I gave him a get out before I shoot your lonely carp look.
I opened the book. How the hell did they pass this through security, I thought. It was a metal tin. Before I opened it I picked upon one of the few “family” I had here. This way we could spend Christmas together like the last three. Yes my deployment was almost over. Just a couple more months. We, well I, opened the tin. Inside were treats, some pictures of the last Christmas, and cards from a lot of the family. I grabbed a cookie and read some of the cards. I saved one for last. My little brother’s card. It was probably two cards knowing what he could say. “Leone you better get ready for this one” I said. I realized I just talked to an inanimate object. Well I did it every day, no matter what they say. I opened the card and the first line I saw was “What happened to you sending me pictures of you and Leone every week? I thought you said you would.” Looks like I need to send a letter soon, I thought. Anyway the letter describe the new dog, how he was doing in school, how he can’t went for me to get back. Stuff he would tell me every day if he was here. “Here Leone have a cookie” I said. I laughed to myself. “Not hungry? Well I’ll at it then” I said and I closed the tin and put it under my pillow. I put Leone gently in my pocket.
That day, there wasn’t a single fight. We actually ate pretty good food. It was ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables. It was good. The guys joked around if I was going leave some for my friend. We had a good laughed and joked around with little trinkets they got from their family. Well at least I got a day off, but tomorrow I can’t say. Yet for now I’ll take a day off. I’ll think I’ll go to sleep and have Leone watch over me like every night.