World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. Off-Topic Forums Your Creations

Inspirational stories.

Poll: Knowing this is short , do you want to hear more ?

Yes
75.00%
6
Meh , maybe
25.00%
2
No , you suck.
0%
0
Total: 100% 8 vote(s)
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Oct. 17, 2010  3:32 AM
 
I have been so motivated by people created stories , so I decided to make one myself.I love Leone War's , and I truley so believe , it should be a young adults novel , so here goes nothing !

Tears were rolling down everybody's cheek.It was an unbelievable moment.Instead of expecting my mother of coming back , she is gone.My dad went away before I can understand the concept of life.No where to go.Me , lifeless , drowned in fright.My friends were useless.That is when it happenned.I ran...with him..long , before anyone knew.I was never found , and should never be.
We survived , even with our difficulties.My older brother helping me in great need , until...brother...Saad ?....brother. I understood , he was gone...forever.I was alone , no solution , no fixture.I ran more , with nothing , nothing .Aggrovation , disapointment , soberousity , were intense.I was dead , locked in the long gates of Hell.Drowned , smothered in fear.I found my brother , who was sleeping in the clouds.It was my brother.A pearly white , Navyblue trimming.A nice " Airy " steel texture.It held my life.It has helped like my brother.I have gotten food , warmth , comfort.It has always been my friend , brother , ally , my soul.I would never forget him.Thank you for returning.
Brother ! , brother help me , please help me brother , I need you ! My leg was broken , it burned.It was a satanic purple , resembling the Devil's hand pulling my soul.I can hardly breathe , my physical disadvantage made it hard to withstand.Crawling for help , desperate.I have gotten out my brothers present.It was entirely Black , as in Hell's black , I was in trouble.
Oct. 17, 2010  3:34 AM
 
Nice first person story we hare doing this for a grade and I wrote about a alien dog. That story is horrible compared to yours keep up the good work
Oct. 17, 2010  3:36 AM
 
I am beginning to put more , and thank you Ra for you comment.
Oct. 17, 2010  3:41 AM
 
Well your welcome your intro reminded me of Rick riordan all epic or sad
Oct. 17, 2010  3:42 PM
 
I decided I'd do you a favor and proofread Wink

Tears were rolling down everybody's cheeks. It was an unbelievable moment. Instead of my mother coming back, she was gone. My dad went away before I could understand the concept of life. Nowhere to go, me, lifeless, drowned in fright. My friends were useless. That is when it happened. I ran... with him… long, before anyone knew. I was never found, and should never be.
We survived , even with our difficulties. My older brother helping me in great need , until... brother... Sad? ...brother. I understood , he was gone... forever. I was alone, no solution, no fixture. I ran more, with nothing, nothing. Aggravation, disappointment, sadness and were intense. I was dead, locked in the long gates of Hell. Drowned, smothered in fear. I found my brother , who was sleeping in the clouds. It was my brother. A pearly white, navy-blue trimming. A nice ‘airy’ steel texture. It held my life. It has helped me like it has my brother. I have gotten food, warmth, comfort. It has always been my friend, brother, ally, my soul. I would never forget him. Thank you for returning.
Brother! Brother help me, please help me brother, I need you! My leg was broken, it was burned. It was a satanic purple, resembling the Devil's hand pulling down my soul. I can hardly breathe, my physical disadvantage made it hard to withstand. Crawling for help, desperate. I have gotten out of my brothers present. It was entirely Black, as in Hell's black. I was in trouble.



I had no idea what 'soberousity' was, so I replaced it with sadness.
Oct. 17, 2010  8:58 PM
 
Oh thank you , I appreciate your corrections.
Oct. 20, 2010  2:52 AM
 
I like the story. Thanks for the reference(don't know if I could make it 80 pages). Anyway, If you make gramitcal errors and speelling errors (like right there i just noticed) like me just word doc it and paste. Anyway, can't wait to hear more
Oct. 21, 2010  12:57 AM
 
(Oct. 20, 2010  2:52 AM)BeyHunter Wrote: I like the story. Thanks for the reference(don't know if I could make it 80 pages). Anyway, If you make gramitcal errors and speelling errors (like right there i just noticed) like me just word doc it and paste. Anyway, can't wait to hear more

Yesss , you finally posted !!!!