prolouge
" go shoot!"
Ah, nothing like an extra day of the weekend to get beyblading, thought Ryan, the new at his school. He had recently made a friend, Rob, despite his shyness and new surroundings.
"Go rock Pisces!" said Ryan coolly. He had recently acquired his first beyblade, Rock Pisces 145 D because beyblade was popular at school, and Ryan was poor at getting popular.
" That won't happen, meet the attack Cancer!" said Ryan's newfound friend, Rob. Rob, like Ryan, was not popular either. His bey was earth cancer ad145 wd

Upon looking at all the facts, it would be expected for them to like each other. Both were fairly short and bad athletes, the other popular thing at school. Ryan had brown hair, while Rob had blond . These minor physical traits, such as eye color or other small things were the only difference between them. They both liked wearing sweatpants and playing video games, even if they were bad at them.

Pisces's attack made its mark and Cancer was being pushed back.

"it's not over yet." Rob yelled. Cancer held its ground, and then delivered a devastating attack, knocking Pisces out of the stadium.
" That's 4 to 2, so you owe me a soda." Rob gloated, catching his bey
" Fine." Ryan said grudgingly, pulling out 5 dollars, then picking up Pisces.
" Wait a sec, I just got to check my email."Rob said while pulling out his smartphone.
When all of these deeds were finished, Ryan and Rob were walking home, as the bey park was closely to their neighboring homes, Ryan noticed a new shop in town.
" Hey man, check that out."
"What?" replied Rob, nearly dropping the cola he had won.
"That, birdbrain." a large poster adorned on a closed shop that read "super bey store: coming soon was the center of Ryan's attention.
"that'll deserve a look later." Rob answered.
" later" Ryan said .
" You too."
" I wont lose again!"
" sure you won't, sure.

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This story has potential! Good job! You forgot to capitalize the beginning of the last few quotes, and you need to replace a few of the periods with commas. Other than that, wonderful first chapter! Keep up the good writing.

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Sorry I have not been writing
Here is chapter 1


"Ring ring!!"
" finally schools out!" Ryan said, happy to be able to put his burden down.
"Hey, want to check out that new shop?" Rob replied. Both of them were picking up skills, and the new shop was the beyblading place to be, so after a short discussion, they were riding their bikes as fast as they could to the new shop.

Upon entering, they two kids could not have been more delighted. There were 8 state of the art multicolored stadiums, all being used. To the left was a counter displaying all kinds of beyblade accesories and pieces, with a cheery store clerk watching over the store. Rob and Ryan went looking around, and the store clerk noticed them and called out:
"all newcomers, please come over here to learn the rules here!" Upon hearing this, Ryan shrugged at Rob, and the two friends walked over to the counter.


To be continued...



Hey guys I know this is short. I will be taking character requests but just because you put in a request does not mean it will be in the story

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