First time drinking/getting high

First off I would like to say, this thread is PURELY for hearing funny stories.
not about preaching on one another for what they do.

I've always got a good laugh hearing about crazy 'first time' stories,
and I had a good time listening to some of them a few days ago, soo..
To be honest this forum has been pretty bland lately so I figured this would be fun.

Personally, I would like to say that I've only tried drugs twice.
And I only drink occasionally.
so please don't think i'm a major alchoholic/stoner. lol

EDIT: and please try to make them entertaining =(

mine will come tomorrow.
Sorry, but considering the demographic of this board this is really just too much ... closed.