Beyblade story part 1

Poll: Beyblade story part 1

I loved it!
50.00%
1
It's okk
0%
0
I would read it again
0%
0
This story makes no sence
50.00%
1
Total: 100% 2 vote(s)
"I'm going to kill my boss. Like it's MY fault he can't get into Med. school," you groaned as you opened the door to Usagi's house. You hung up your coat and leaned against the door, closing your eyes for a second. Then, you sighed and walked down the hall. Setsuna met you at the door to the living room. "The Beybladers are here. They're waiting for you." She said. You looked over her shoulder and sawsix guys sitting on the couch with Yuki, Ayame, Rika, and Usagi. You sighed, "Well, I'll change out of the monkey suit, and then I'll meet them." She nodded, and you walked up the stairs. You work at a resteraunt called Angel Mort, and the uniforms are, in short, practically nonexistent. You changed into a black short-sleeved dress over a purple striped long sleeve shirt with a high collar. You always wear high collar out of uniform to hide the scar on your throat, and the uniform has a collar so its ok. You slipped on a pair of dark purple stockings and boots, and tied your curly hair back into a messy bun. You started go, but then mentally slapped yourself. You grabbed your twin Berrettas and strapped them to your thighs. Then you headed downstairs. When you did walk into the living room, you stayed in the corner, quiet. You just wanted to get a feel for the Beybladers. You looked them over, and they all seemed okay. One of them, a kid who looked about your age with dark blue hair, asked, "What did she mean when she said monkey suit?" You chuckled mentally as the girls groped around for an answer, "Well, she works at a resteraunt called Angel Mort," Rika started, "And the uniforms are a little, errr... well." "They aren't exactly something I would choose to wear for a first meeting." You said, stepping out of the shadows. They all turned and looked at you. "I'm Akuma. Akuma Kawa. It's nice to meet you." You stuck out your hand. "Hi! I'm Tyson Granger." The boy who spoke earlier said with a big smile, grabbing your hand. The other boys introduced themselves too. They were all about your age or older, except for one named Max. There was Kai, Bryan, Ray, and another with red hair named Tala. You sat on the arm of the couch, and started to talk. "So, how come you live here and not with your parents?" Max asked. "I never knew them," you said. "Really?" "Yeah! When we mer her, she didn't even have a name!" Usagi cut in. "No NAME?" Tyson said. "She just had a number. 001" Setsuna added. "So, you never knew who you were?" Kai said. You shrugged, "It never bothered me before." During the entire conversation, Tala hadn't said anything except to introduce himself. He was just looking at you, with no expression on his face. "So how did you meet?" Ray asked. "She actually pretty much saved our lives." Rika answered. "She saved your lives?" Bryan said. "She's exaggerating. You weren't in any danger." You said. "Yeah, right. Guns held to our heads and Usagi tied up isn't my idea of 'no danger'" Yuki said, rolling her eyes. "OK, now, I really want to hear the story!" Max said. "Well, you see," Ayame began, "Usagi's parents are rich, so she gets targeted by you know, blackmailers looking for money and stuff. So, this one time,Yakuza broke into the house trying to kidnap Usagi, and they were holding guns to our heads and were about to take Usagi away." "So, what happened?" Tyson said, eyes wide. "Akuma happened. I don't even know where she came from, but she came in, shot almost all of the Yakuza guys, and the others ran away." By now, all the guys were looking at you, wide eyed. "They're exaggerating. They weren't about to get shot. And I only helped a little, and I didn't shoot almost all of them." "Sure, sure." Usagi, Ayame, Yuki, Setsuna, and Rika said in unison, patting you on the head. You growled menacingly, but they only laughed. Suddenly, there was a loud crash from the kitchen. We bolted up, almost at the same time. Your hand inched toward the hem of your dress, where your gun was concealed. "W-what was that?" Usagi said, clutching your dress and peering towards the kitchen. "Trouble," you said grimly. As it turned out, you were right.
Hmm...I'm not going to judge the actual writing. But I don't really like the story being in Second person (Using you instead of I or he).
I know that, I'm saying that it makes it kind of hard to understand. I suggest you change it to first person.
I bet that if you do change it to first person you will get way more people reading it.