[Beyblade Story] The Sacred Dragons(Now Accepting Character Requests!)

Poll: Is my story any good?

Yes!
77.78%
14
It's kinda good.
16.67%
3
Not really
0%
0
No!
5.56%
1
Total: 100% 18 vote(s)
Well, this is my new story, since I lost all the chapters to my old one. Uncertain But I think I like this new one is somewhat better. Anyways here it is:

Chapter 01:
Chapter 02:
Chapter 3:
Chapter 4:
Chapter 5:
Chapter 6:
Chapter 7:
Chapter 8:
Chapter 9:
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13: The unlucky chapter

Well, what do you think?
Looks really cool! I noticed some minor spelling errors, though.
Thanks, that means a lot, the. story should get rolloing in a couple of chapters or so... I've been totally swamped today, so many arrens, I'll defenitely have new chapter[s] up tomorrow.
I have a question: Dis you actually have a plot in mind before you began writing or did you just go long with the first thing that popped in your head? I'm not liking this so far. The formatting could be better and it needs a lot of grammar fixer-uppers. Also, what's the main characters name? Also you should really give your characters, real character. When I read, and most people in the world I would think, like to visualize the story and with this, I can't.

Good luck with it though.
No I do have an idea, hence the title. I'm only 12 for one thing, and haven't been taught proper formatting. It's Johnny and it has only been 1 chapter. I guess I could fix it some to make the name more clearer. All that's happened so far is he talked to a few people, yes that obviously gives time for character development. I guess I could try to add more detail, that is if I can, I think I could visualize it pretty well, IMO and i'm not trying to be defenitive.
i like is story
Thanks Tony. Smile
kyler think more story i get good
(Jul. 12, 2013  6:04 AM)tonymitchell Wrote: kyler think more story i get good

Dude... Wut?
I'd prefer you not spam my thread with pointless questions Smile
I do like it. It's pretty good, you use a fairly mature style of writing, I didn't see any mistakes, I like it. Won't vote until I see more chapters though.
Edit: Read it over another time, and I did see some grammar mistakes, but it's still good!
New Chapter up! Sorry about the spacing it's not showing up on the chapters. Unhappy
Chapter 3 is up!
Yeah there is a lot of improvement from the first to the third chapter
Chapter 4 is up sorry it's kind of short.
I liked it even though it was kind of short. I think you should have put the whole "...Buy you every bey in the store...." part.
Anyway I'll catch up on this story.
Do you mean shouldn't because I was thinking that too

EDIT: I changed it.
You edited it while I was doing somethin' Grin I'll read it now.
Chapter 5 is up!



Im now accpeting character requests! Must follow this format:

Name:
Beyblade:
Special Move:
Character description(try not to sacrifice any detail!):

Keep in mind these bladers will not be playing a dominant role so don't bother saying there Tyson's grandson or something like that. Also only give beys that will most likely be released as a real Beyblade. (Non ex. Ferret Zekrom Super special awesome track 300 Right gigax10 rubber flat)
You've really improved, nice work man!
Thanks dude! Do you have a character request?
Name: Jack Wong Bey: Phantom Howlgust Element: Ice and Fire Image of howlgust bit beast - http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images...sDemon.jpg

Bey parts: Metal wheel + frame both have phantom shape Clear wheel: black and red S135BD

Character bio: Jack is a normal boy with blue eyes and black hair. When his father was about to die, a bey was shot from somewhere and stopped the metal frame falling on his dad. Ever since Jack has used that bey, believing in its power.

Special Moves: Ghost Leap, Great Claw Grip, Criss-Cross Blaze, Ice Fang Fury

Ghost leap: Phantom Howlgust makes a ghost copy and both leap to the side of the stadium. Then they leap from the edge and dive onto the opponent's beyblade. The Howlgust blades' metal wheels are facing the face bolt of the opponent's bey and then.. contact.. then... victory! Great Claw Grip: Phantom Howlgust moves to the center of the stadium and stands his ground, surviving any type of attack for a certain amount of time. Criss-Cross Blaze: Not fully controllable yet, Jack is reluctant to ever use this move. (It is a lot like rei's ultimate Gatling claw except Jack can't control it yet. Also it is a mixture of ice and fire that hit the opponent) Ice Fang Fury: The bey runs head on at the opponent's, doing a set pattern twice - 2x (smash, barrage, smash); also, the bey is covered in ice whilst doing this.
Chapter 6 is up! Sorry for the wait. I hope you stay tune to yhe next few chapters, they will be interesting! But I'll need more character requests, and it might take a while for the next chapters to be up.
kai yumzako
age;13
bey;MF Ninja Phoenix SA165GCF

bio; he is an blader that has never had a real family he ran away at age 6 to become a rouge person,he has get skills but his bey speed and defense shows his best skills he is from a nina clan called the speedziro clan
.He loves the sky and his phoenix does two He moves like the wind and has Ninja like skills
Special moves:speed sword mirage, Misty ninja diving mirage,soraing Cyclone speed crash.

apperance; black jacket misty gray hair sky blue eyes blue pants black ninja combat boots