Beyblade Story: Darkness on the rise! CHAPTER 3 IS UP!!!

Poll: What do you think!

Flawless
0%
0
Needs Work
100.00%
2
Eh. You shouldn't write
0%
0
This is S*** (Prepare to PM)
0%
0
Total: 100% 2 vote(s)
Hey guys I'm making a Beyblade story here it is!
Chapter 1: The Newbie
Chapter 2: Byakko vs Aquario
Chapter 3: If you can't beat em', join em'
Chapter 4: Team Ace Forms
Chapter 3 is up!
The chapters are a bit short. I think that you should add a space every time there is a new speaker, which means it will look neater, and space your chapters. Another way to do this, is to put more details into your actions. This will make the reader indulge into the story, and also make things more clear. Detail could also be used for suspense.
Okay I'll make sure I have those things next chapter.
I really like the content of your story, but you NEED to space out some of your dialogue. It looks all crunched up. If you spaced it, it would not only be easier to read, but it would look longer.

I still like it though.