Untitled Beyblade Story

Poll: How you like my story?

Awesome!
85.71%
18
Eh, it's ok.
9.52%
2
Needs work.
0%
0
Horrible...
4.76%
1
Total: 100% 21 vote(s)
Chapter 1

"Are we there yet?" I asked impatiently, staring out my window watching the green scenery pass by.

"Nope." My dad said, staying focused on his driving.

"Ugh... Where are we going anyways?" I inquired, looking over at my dad.

"It's a secret, but I think you'll like it." He said.

"Do you know how many friends I'm leaving behind right now?" I grunted.

"You mean those street bladers? Trust me, you'll find alot better people here. You know what, I think we're close, why don't you open you're window." My dad said. I looked off into the distance and could faintly see buildings, but what got me to smile were the sounds of kids blading, you could hear kids countingdown and shouting "Go Shoot!" I dug into my pockets and pulled out a bey that had a red facebolt with marks on it as if it had been striken multiple times, it's energy ring was red with two gold horns. The fusion wheel was gold, with three pieces and gaps between them, the pieces had markings. It's spin track was black and was gapped after it's fusion wheel and the spin track was also as wide as the fusion wheel. It's performance tip was also black and was a WD which he obtained from a piece match against a gravity perseus.

"Done day-dreaming there? Help me take our stuff up" My dad said, opening his door and stepping out heading to the trunk. I sighed and stepped out, putting my bey back into my pocket and grabbing a box, it was the lightest one there, I wasn't in the mood for heavy lifting, it was all of my stuff, mostly beyblade related things and some clothes, before stepping into the two story white house, I took in the scenery, lots of kids running around, mostly beyblading in stadiums. I smirked, maybe my dad was right, this could deffinetly be interesting. It took awhile to get everything up.

"You go explore, I'll finish unboxing and stuff." My dad said.

"Sure thing." I walked to the box with all my beyblade stuff in it and took out a launcher grip with a black beylaunch attached to it, grabbed my bey utillity belt (or so I called it) and clipped in my launcher and put my bey in it's case, dashing out the door and rushing down the stairs, we were on the second floor, once I got outside there were a crowd of kids already outside my house. I blinked and a dark skinned boy was at the front of the group.

"You're the new kid huh?" The boy said.

"Uh, yeah..." I said, knowing where this was going, I moved my hand to reach for my launcher, and opened my case and grabbed my bey.

"You're raring to go aren't ya, I like that." The boy said.

"I like to know the name of the people I defeat." I said.

"Confident aren't you? Don't get too cocky now!" The boy said. "But the name's Ace." The first thing that came to mind was bipolar, getting all shouty then calming down, odd, no?

"Masaru, Masaru Hara. Where's the stadium?" I said, as a kid from the back came up and put a stadium down.

"Watch how a pro does it Kenny." Ace said to the boy that came up.

"Hehe, you're going down new kid." Kenny chuckled.

"All bark and no bite eh?" I said with a smirk, I love getting my opponents riled up. Ace took out his launcher and readied it above the stadium, I did the same.

"What you don't understand is I'm the top dog around here." Ace said.

"Hehe, top dog, get it? 'Cause we're playing with battling tops?" Kenny joked. I blinked at him and shook my head.

"3." I said.

"2!" Ace shouted.

"1!" The crowd shouted.

"Go shoot!" Ace and I shout at the same time, launching our beyblades into the stadium, his bey was green, and seemed to have a green metal facebolt, the fusion wheel was a normal silver, but was odd, it looked alot like the Earth wheel, but I could tell it wasn't.

"Go! Attack, Air Striker!" Ace shouted and his bey rushed full speed at mine, it was hit and barely budged, it continued to strike it down, it then hit again but stayed there, it was caught in the gap between the fusion wheel and spin track.

"Caught in the bear trap, now, Counter Special Move, Hell Toss!" I demanded, and it began spinning in circles rapidly, still holding on to Air Striker. "Release!" My bey let go of it's hold and threw Air Striker, it went to the edge of the stadium but stayed in, but it then dissapeared. "The heck?"

"Special Move! Acceleration Barrage!" Ace shouted, my bey then began to rapidly get hit around.

How am I supposed to counter this... I thought, it then hit me, each time my bey moved there was a gust of wind in the direction it moved. "That's it!" My bey began to move around, causing it's own air current, there was a flash of green where ever the bey made wind. "Now go!", my bey hit one of the air currents it made and made a "metal hitting metal" sound, Air Striker flew into the air and out of the stadium, landing next to Ace.

"H-how did you..." Ace sttutered, amazed.

"I was a straight A student at my old town, looks like you're not top dog anymore, are you." I said, as my bey flew into my hand.

"No way." Kenny said, as the whole crowd gasped.

"What is that thing!?" A kid in the crowd shouted.

"It's Hell CapricornBD145WD stamina type." I said.

"Then why couldn't I easily get you out?" Ace asked.

"Honestly? Not sure, I like to believe he has defensive properties." I said with a smile, first day and already have a good reputation, I think I'll like it here...
Finally, some damn good quality has been blessed upon the Your Creations forum.
You're a Godsend!
(Dec. 08, 2011  1:44 AM)Raigeko13 Wrote: Finally, some damn good quality has been blessed upon the Your Creations forum.
You're a Godsend!

Lol, thanks. Tongue_out Keep checking on, I'll try to post a new chapter every day.
Try not to make too many chapters, now. 1 a day is kinda much... maybe 1 a week, if you like writing so much.
Quality over quantity Tongue_out
(Dec. 08, 2011  1:49 AM)CRUelty Wrote: Try not to make too many chapters, now. 1 a day is kinda much... maybe 1 a week, if you like writing so much.
Quality over quantity Tongue_out

Haha, I'll keep that in mind, but expect some pretty long chapters if I do do 1 chapter a week, I'll post a chapter early if I feel I don't have anything more to add. Tongue_out_wink
Chapter 2

I was running...from what I wasn't sure, it was a giant shadowy figure, I tripped and fell, in the distance I could see a gold glow, it was bright, It tried crawling to it, but it got farther and farther, I couldn't reach it for the life of me, I couldn't see I, but I knew the shadowy figure was near, I could feel it... "NO!" I shouted, rushing up to a sitting position, it was hot, I was sweating like crazy. "The heck was that about..." I looked over to my window, it was bright out, then at my clock, it was 12:13 PM. "Typical, I promise I'll be there and I'm and hour late." I sighed and got out of my bed leaving it a mess, I changed into my usual wear, a long sleeve button up black shirt with a red short sleeve under it with some black jeans and white nikes. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth and went back to his room, grabbing his utillity belt which already had everything on it and darted off. I was heading to the Beycenter Ace and Kenny said to meet at, as I bursted through the doors of the Beycenter, I saw the shadowy figure again, but when I looked back to where it was, it was gone.

"Well look who finally shows up, you took forever." Ace said.

"Yeah, sorry." I said.

"We have someone we want you to meet." Kenny said.

"Who would that be?" I asked. A girl with straight long blonde hair stepped forward, she had blue eyes and light skin, she had a white t-shirt with a pink sweater, blue jeans and white sneakers.

"Hi, I'm Sunny, I'll be you're mechanic." She said happily. "I heard you beat Ace, so I just had to meet you!"

"Haha, yeah, it was a bit tough but eh." I said blushing.

"Anyways, aside from that." Ace began he held up a flyer and pointed to it. "There's a tournament tommorow, registration started an hour ago, lucky for you, I signed you up."

"Wait what?! Without me knowing?" I said, confused.

"Well, you're pretty awesome so I thought..." Ace began.

"This is gunna be my first tournament ever though..." I said with a tone of madness.

"Wow, really?" Kenny asked.

"Yes really!" I answered.

"It'll be fine! It's just like normal battling." Ace said, handing him a beypointer.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"It's so you can stack up points, you can use those points to buy parts, whole beyblades, and gear. You get the points via tournaments, or an official battle in Beycenters anywhere." Sunny explained.

"Ok, thanks for summing that up for me." I said.

"Anyways, how 'bout we do some practice runs." Kenny said, holding up a silver bey. "Gaia AriesGB170EWB, Metal Face-Heavy by the way."

"Sure." I said, walking to one of the many, MANY stadiums and taking out my beylauncher and taking out my bey.

"That's a Hell CapricornBD145WD!" Sunny shouted in amazement.

"Yeah, is it a big deal?" I asked.

"It's just those pieces are really rare!" Sunny said, still amazed. "BD145, Boost Drive145, able to change from Normal Mode to Boost Mode!"

"Boost Mode?" Kenny, Ace and I said at the same time.

"BD145 can change from Normal Mode, what you have it in now, and Boost Mode, which you can change it to whenever you want." Sunny explained.

"Awesome." I said, with a somewhat puzzled look on my face, I shrugged and attached my bey to the launcher and readied it, as did Kenny.

"3!" I shouted.

"2!" Kenny shouted.

"1!" Ace and Sunny shouted.

"Go Shoot!" Kenny and I shouted in unison, launching our beys, they landed in the stadium and the Gaia Aries went directly to the center and Capricorn went to attack, but hit it's spin track, making a grinding sound, it starting to slow down.

"Woah what the heck?!" I said. "I never had this problem before."

"Concentrate Masaru, and order it to change to boost mode!" Sunny said.

"Uhh, change!... Boost Mode!..." I tried. "Nothing's working."

"This is easier than I thought..." Kenny said and Aries went and started hitting Capricorn.

"Oh c'mon Capricorn!" I demanded. Aries pulled back and hit Capricorn, knocking it straight out of the stadium. "No way..." I said, kneeling down and picking it up.

"That was easy." Kenny said. Sunny walked up to me.

"Maybe I can help somehow, I can analyze your bey." She said. I nodded and handed her my bey. "Alright, if you guys are coming come now."

"We're gunna stay here." Ace said. We exitted the beycenter and Sunny led me to her house. Her room was filled with everything beyblade, next to her bed was a laptop with a litte compartment that looked like it could hold any size bey.

"Alright, this'll only take a bit of time." Sunny said, sitting on her bed, opening up her laptop and placing Hell Capricorn in the bey scanner(or so I call it). "Let's see...apparently all you had to say was 'Boost Drive activate' though, it will always go back to Normal Mode after each battle. Boost Mode will also give you way more stamina, and some new Special Moves, because I'm sure as you know Normal mode only has the Counter Special Move, Hell Toss."

"Right." I said, proccessing what was just told to me. "Have a stadium?"

"Uh, yeah, I do." Sunny said, going into her closet and bringing out a stadium. I went over and grabbed my bey, attaching it and launching it.

"Boost Drive, activate!" I demanded, and Capricorn glew a bright yellow/red, when it stopped glowing, the spin track was pressed against the fusion wheel and the gaps were filled by black claw like shapes. There was an acceleration in how fast it was spinning once in Boost Mode.

"Awesome!" Sunny said excitedly.

"I think I'm ready for tommorow." I said. "I'm going back to the beycenter, you gunna stay here?"

"Yeah, I have something I need to do." She said, going to her laptop and to a page saying something about a 4D System. I nodded and rushed off, only to be stopped by a boy with a black cloak, only his head exposed, he had black eyes and brown short hair.

"Master wants you eliminated..." The boy said in a raspy, silent like voice.

"Master? What're you talking about? Who are you?" I asked, readying my launcher and beyblade. You could see his cloak move around, and a large crater automatically began to form in the ground. "What's going on here..."

"3..." The boy began, in that weird, hypnotized voice.

"2..!" I shouted.

"1!" We said together."

"Go Shoot!" We said in unison and launched our beys, his bey flew out from behind his cloak, it was silver and red, I couldn't tell what it was, but it was deffinetly an attack type, it moved quickly. Capricorn was easily getting beat around.

"If I can keep it up a bit I'll be fine, it's an attack type." I thought. "Alright capricorn, Boost Drive, activate!" It began to glow and it changed into Boost mode, the opposing bey began to wobble, but then, I saw something strange, I could've sworn I saw the tip change, it began to stay in one spot and stopped wobbling.

"L Drago, Absorb Mode..." The boy said, the L Drago glowing silver and red, when it stopped glowing it looked as if nothing had happened, but absorb mode...what could he mean by that? Everytime I hit it, it kept going, no mater what.

"Gah, I'm blind, it's a left spin!" I shouted in amazement, but mostly being mad at myself for being so stupid. "I need to finish it up with one blast, alright Boost Mode, show me what you got!" Capricorn began to glow and tilted showing the BD145, it was glowinhg but not really a dim black color, it rammed into the L Drago, sending it out of the stadium, landing next to the boy, he then dropped as if he had died and faded away. "What's going on..."
Nice, some grammer mistakes, but very good and suspenceful! Keep up the good work!
I'm just asking but will there be character requests??
No. If he dosn't say there are, there isn't.
(Dec. 10, 2011  12:34 AM)qwertxj3 Wrote: Nice, some grammer mistakes, but very good and suspenceful! Keep up the good work!

Thanks, I'll deffinetly be sure to check for those grammar mistakes.
(Dec. 10, 2011  12:37 AM)Mephiles Dark Wrote: I'm just asking but will there be character requests??

No, sorry.
Chapter 3 Part 1

I hurried to the Beycenter, running out of breath, taking huge gasps of air, running as fast as I could, I stumbled and almost trip, but caught my bearings and continued running. I had no idea what was going on, but that boy... he just dropped and... faded away, I mean, if you saw that what would you do? So I kept running, I remembered the Beycenter wasn't very far from Sunny's house. I eventually made it, bursting through the doors once more, stopping for a moment to catch my breath.

"Masaru!?"" Ace shouted. He was standing right at the door, but the inside wasn't the Beycenter it was somewhere else, it was just a room with a giant beystadium in it, there was a battle going on, it looked like Air Striker versus a black and purple bey. On the other side was another cloaked person, except this one had black long hair, it was a girl. The bey was deffinetly Gravity Perseus, it stayed in the middle and barely budged when hit.

"Gravity Perseus... Black Excalliber." The girl said in that same tone as the boy. The bey began to glow, and amazingly, was replaced by a purple warrior, almost like a hologram, it drew its sword and slashed at Air Striker, it went flying but stopped mid air.

"I don't know what kind of trick this is, but it's time to ride the winds, Acceleration Barrage!" Ace shouted, as Striker dissapeared and so did the warrior and Gravity Perseus was left once more, budging, but still barely. "I can't break through it? What the heck..." I continued to watch unable to do anything... or was I?

"Street rules." I said with a smirk, pulling out my launcher and attaching my Hell Capricorn, launching it into the stadium, it went straight for Gravity Perseus but it ignored it and went after Striker.

"Finish it." The girl began. "Gravity-"

"Ah ah ah, you can only play with your food for now." A voice said as a completely cloaked person stepped down from invisible steps, down to the ground and Gravity Perseus flew back to the girl, entering her cloak.

"Who are you?!" I shouted at the cloaked person.

"In due time Masaru." The person said, wrapped his arm around the girl and they both dissapeared, as did the stadium and the room itself, we were back in the Beycenter.

"It's him... The shadowy figure..." I said under my breath, standing there, trying to proccess what was going on, and why that Gravity Perseus was able to change into that warrior.

"What's going on man, this is insane!" Ace exclamated.

"Not sure. Where's Kenny?" I asked.

"The same thing happened to him, I don't know what's going on on his side." Ace said. A crowd of kids began to form around something, I rushed over to it and made my way to the front of the group, Kenny was laying on the groun, bruised and battered.

"Kenny! Kenny you ok!?" I shouted, shaking him. His hand twitched,and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Too... strong." He managed to say. Next to him was a shattered bey, it was his Gaia Aries. Shattered, completely smashed into so many pieces...

"Kenny, what was too strong?" I asked.

"The bey, it was blue and red." He said.

"He probably just needs some rest." Ace said as Kenny fell asleep. "I'll take him home, see you tommorow." I nodded.

"Yeah... tommorow..." I said, tommorow was the tournament, would I be able to do it? "Don't fail me, Capricorn."

The next day...

My alarm clock went off, I was already awake though, I couldn't sleep. I stopped the constant beeping and got up, I hadn't gotten undressed either, I stayed with everything on.

"Today's the day." I said, walking out my room doing my daily routine, as I was about to leave, my dad stopped me.

"Good luck, Masaru. At the tournament." He said.

"You know about the tournament?" I asked.

"Yeah, almost everyone does. I'm rooting for you." My dad said. I smiled and nodded, leaving, I still had plenty of time, so I decided to drop by Sunny's house, I rang the doorbell and patiently waited, she soon opened the door.

"Oh, hey Masaru, what's up?" She asked, rubbing her eye and yawning.

"Didn't mean to wake you, todays the tourney so I figured you's be able to give Capricorn a nice repairing." I said.

"Sure thing, let me get decent." She said. I nodded and sat on the porch. In not that much time she came back.

"Alright, come on in." She said, she looked as she always did, long blonde hair and blue eyes, she had on a purple shirt and blue jeans this time. I stood up and followed her to her room, I handed her Capricorn and she began analyzing it. "It has minor cracks, and a few breaks in the spin track, but nothing I can't fix, and you still being on time."

"Ok, thanks!" I said happily. It deffinetly did took awhile, so I looked around, she had tons of beyblade related things in her room. She was right, it was about 15 minutes before the tournament when she finished. She handed me the new Hell Capricorn, it was shiny and it was as if it had just been bought straight from a factory. "Awesome!"

"Hehe, glad you like it, everything's the same, but it's performance should be upped now that it's fixed. Now let's get going shall we?" She said, I nodded and we rushed off. There was a bunch of people at the Beycenter, way more than I thought there'd be. When it started, my first match was against a boy named Seth, the tournament was gunna be held as 1 match for each battle. We stepped up to our sides of the stadium and readied our launchers.

"Alright! We'll have this battle as Masaru vs Seth! Let's see who will win!" The dj announced.

"3!" I shouted.

"2!" Seth shouted.

"1!" The crowd shouted.

"Go Shoot!" Seth and I shouted in unison while launching our beys. His bey was red as it spun, it stayed steady in the center as mind circled around it, occasionally hitting it. I could tell it was a stamina type, it tried fighting back but the minute it decided to attack it was starting to lose energy. The round went by quickly and went to me. The battle after the next was Ace vs some kid with a Galaxy Pegasis, they launched their beys and instantly clashed, repeating the proccess continuosly, the Pegasis was then knocked out and sent crashing into one of the walls of the Beycenter. The next few battles didn't involve anyone important, it then came back to me. I was going against a boy with a Rock Sagittario105DS , we launched our beys and they constantly hit eachother, sending one another back a bit, and doing it over again.

"Rock Sagittario! Rock Arrow!" He shouted, as his bey began to turn into stone, flying at mine, it knocked mine back a bit but used it's force to flip over, landing on it's tip on the other side of the stadium, mines charged at the Sagittario, hitting it and knocking it out. The next battle however was going to be interesting, it was Ace vs one of the cloaked people, and, he had a blue and red bey, with a ble facebolt, strange thing is, unlike all the other beys that have blank facebolt, his had the picture of a horse with wings, and so did that Perseus except it was the head of that warrior.

"You were the one who did that to Kenny aren't you!?" Ace shouted at the brown short haired boy.

"I know not of what you speak of, I did nothing to anyone." The boy said, but sounded as he had his conciusness. "My name is Ecus. 1 of the 15 members of The Orginization. My bey? Big Bang Pegasis."

"I'll take you down anyway!" Ace shouted, readying his bey, Ecus did as well, but stopped for a second to snap, and we were teleported to the room we fought the Gravity Perseus. "Don't butt in, Masaru!" I nodded.

"3!" Ace shouted.

"2!" Ecus shouted.

"1!" I shouted.

"Go Shoot!" Ace and Ecus shouted, launching their beys.
Just a little fix up. Smile
Oh, and, don't use SOOO much commas.

Awesome story! Keep it going!
Your Story (chapters) are sooo interesting and epic at the same time! After I read the 1st chapter. i couldn't stop reading. ( leading me on to the 3rd chapter). I can't wait for Chapter 4! Joyful_3
I will never write in my life ever again, we have our king!
I love your story!!!But 1 thing.Is this story supposed to be partly true!?!?!?
If it is,I will add you and read all of your stories!!!Grin
Sorry.I'm just so amazed!
This is great ;D. Love the detail, I can already imagine it as an anime..
(Dec. 20, 2011  1:46 AM)Raiderofawe Wrote: I love your story!!!But 1 thing.Is this story supposed to be partly true!?!?!?
If it is,I will add you and read all of your stories!!!Grin
Sorry.I'm just so amazed!

Well, a lot of it actually isn't real, but I did have Hell Capricorn. XD
(Dec. 20, 2011  1:48 AM)Tris Wrote: This is great ;D. Love the detail, I can already imagine it as an anime..

Haha, thanks, I wish it was an anime. x3
(Dec. 07, 2011  2:27 AM)Masaru Hara Wrote: Quote removed.



May I have a character?


Blader Name: Reneford

Age: 15

Beyblade(made up or not w/ type and description): Hydron Katros 358S- Its a Stamina Water Bey. Katros's facebolt shows a kelpie (water hoarse). the energy ring is dark blue with wavy ridges that look like waves.The fusion wheel, Hydron is a heavy wheel that has two fins on each end. The spin track is 358, the tallest spin track in all of beyblade history and is an aqua blue. Finally the performance is an aqua blue stamina tip.

Special Move(nothing to extreme please): Hydron Aqua Blast: Katros shoots bursts of water out at the opponent

Personality: He is any ordinary blader you might meet on the street. Has a stong love for battling strong bladers.

History(optional): Reneford found his Hydron Katros in his old seaside town's bey shop after his father went off on a fishing trip and was drowned. Reneford has a huge respect for the sea and its power. He moved to Kenny's town soon after.

Looks(be a bit descriptive): He has dark brown hair and wears a blue hat with a yellow anchor on it. He wears a dark blue shirt with aqua blue stripes on each sleeve. His pants are blue jeans.

I put a lot of thought into this so please consider it Smile
(Dec. 20, 2011  10:36 PM)Lizard Lacerta Wrote: May I have a character?


Blader Name: Reneford

Age: 15

Beyblade(made up or not w/ type and description): Hydron Katros 358S- Its a Stamina Water Bey. Katros's facebolt shows a kelpie (water hoarse). the energy ring is dark blue with wavy ridges that look like waves.The fusion wheel, Hydron is a heavy wheel that has two fins on each end. The spin track is 358, the tallest spin track in all of beyblade history and is an aqua blue. Finally the performance is an aqua blue stamina tip.

Special Move(nothing to extreme please): Hydron Aqua Blast: Katros shoots bursts of water out at the opponent

Personality: He is any ordinary blader you might meet on the street. Has a stong love for battling strong bladers.

History(optional): Reneford found his Hydron Katros in his old seaside town's bey shop after his father went off on a fishing trip and was drowned. Reneford has a huge respect for the sea and its power. He moved to Kenny's town soon after.

Looks(be a bit descriptive): He has dark brown hair and wears a blue hat with a yellow anchor on it. He wears a dark blue shirt with aqua blue stripes on each sleeve. His pants are blue jeans.

I put a lot of thought into this so please consider it Smile

I may consider it, despite the fact this story isn't taking requests.
This story is really good I you should really keep writing
(Dec. 28, 2011  10:24 PM)UltraStriker Wrote: This story is really good I you should really keep writing
I agree with you,he should start chapter 4!

hurry make chapter 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!