I haven't written anything in over a year, but I dug up some old poetry and figured I would post it here.
DAUGHTER IN THE SUN
The electric sound that slithered sporatically
Through the air, underneath the deep crimson sky
Grazed the rim of my ear, and muttered into me
"There is something unseen married to you still ..."
The prophetic salamander flaunted his wings
Whilst I shed mine against the decomposed oak trees
The paint on my eyes muddied by my imperfection
And the paint in the sky muddied by the sun
Bred women and bred men, all of whom breed such prayers
That wish for a God or a crown on their heads
Or just a fleeting moment when their heart is lightened
Of the thick and heavy burden of the guilt of a lie
Two bitter-sweet lips, unruly in their formation
Of sentences and proclamations that are meant to decieve
The soft-eyed representatives of desperation
That were carried to you in their utterly hollow dreams
In my blood, I do steep conceited constitution
That beckoned me during the arrogant adolescence
Full of false Marys and devoid of the substance
Which wise men would come bearing within silk
The sun corrodes from the magnificence of humanity
The ironic decadence of the success we'd sought
Is written in the ground and against the corneas
Of those that we'd hurt to get where we are
And in that ironic decadence, I am left without a thing
But my regret which I'd imagined the victory would erase
It instead fed the infection that was born from the act
Of putting pen to paper, or heart to action
Within that regret I do remember the daughter
Whom I'd once met, and I had found her beautiful
But she was in the sun which now floats in the sky
The eyesore and the funeral that the clouds attend
===
MONOMANIA
Morose fingertips dancing across the carpet
Courting those profanities you muttered at departure
Whilst I derogate myself, so conscious of my acts
Adorn me with stars, bedeck me with letters
Hold me a wake or kiss me awake
Or at least see off the ghost of me
That lingers here with thoughts so impenetrable
Whispering afterthoughts of your impenitence
And impeccable, so impeccable you are
Within your guilting and within your greed
That I cannot detect nor dissect such circumstance
Until such a belated moment, impactless in its brevity
Here am I, impactless in my breathlessness
Lungs turned as hard as your eyes by the cold
A glimmer of a glint within my derangement
Return me to the life that I faintly regret
===
EXCRESCENCE
A sort of abrasion that corrodes my skin, my soul
Vulgarity within kindness within wordless dialogue
Extemporaneous movements that flicker through light
And my lashes, too innocent for my face
My vision is blurred and I can no longer discern
The words that you spoke from the daggers that lie
On the floor, still coated in my contemplation
Affection to disaffection to such gilded hearts
To execrate me, bewitching in your fragile hips
The beauty of your darkness that makes my heart flutter
With both fear and desire that desecrate what is
Left of my sensibility, left of my compassion
Malignity that cultivates me into a demon of the past
The roseaceous rogue that you are, so bewildering in your
Semblance of purity and justification and unfailing love
That devours the reflection I am forced to remember
===
GOD SAVE THE KING
Dig your nails into my skin
PSYCHOTIC PUPIL DILATION
Rob me over my every sin
IMMORAL VENOM HEART MUTATION
Marry me with vows of black
LOVELESS UNION VICTIMIZATION
Kiss me, stab me in the back
SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM REACTION
Look at me with filthy eyes
GODLESS HEARTLESS LIMITATION
Dirty lips littered with lies
SCRAMBLED VULGAR IMITATION
Take me to empyrean
FATAL BLOOD COAGULATION
Take me from this tomb I'm in
STATIC LOST COMMUNICATION --
===
REMEMBER
Through the cold night air that tastes like water
Always something does call me, hauntingly
Floating over the sounds of cars and lights
Is a voice that reminds me of you
And maybe on a subway, an inescapable moment
Inside the skeleton of a howling steel constrictor
The haste of my revolutionary eyes trick the third
Into seeing you in a girl with a frame like yours
But I am most cursed as I sleep at night
Like a charm, unfailingly do I remember you
Through a black hole that forms in the back of my mind
Is a vision that reminds me of you
===
SINNER IN A LOCKET
The barrens ...
This place, cursed in the way that it is
Destined to keep beating after time flatlines
Oh jagged pain which turns my breath asthmatic
A pain that cuts through sleep and anesthetic
I am a drifter of the most miserable sort
Only a husk of the redemption that I'd sought
Were I still foolish enough to believe in Christ
I'd sleep on a Bible and each night, pray thrice
The testament to which I devote my faith
Is only the decietful photo I carry with me
Next to the devil inside of my pocket
I've become nothing but a sinner in a locket
The barrens of my heart, a wasteland, a treasure
The pulsing afterbirth of my pulsing mistakes
You, error of my life, toxic remembrance rose
Living through the afterlife that you chose
Toxic rose for which I still crave the scent
The petals on my lips and thorns in my hands
The stem withering against my skin
Disgusting, lovely, malevolent sin
My bare feet are scarred from being so adamant
In my walking, yet I don't understand why
I push on in this world of blood and stone
With a sky of nondescript monochrome
Oh, my unforgettable toxic rose
The still-fresh wounds from the barbs in my fingers
Masochistic memory garbed in lace of black
I want you back ... no, never take me back
Cut me open and tell me what you see
Next to my heart, does my soul beat as well?
Or has it haphazardly turned to stone as an idol
Remember when we discussed you being in bridal ...
And when I'd hold you as you slept ...
And when I'd dress up before you came home ...
And when I gave my life for you ...
And when ... and when ...
Remember-!
The way your pubic bone hit mine so unpleasantly
Or how your breasts felt dead against my hands
Or how you swallowed pills because you hate me so much
Or how I forgot the feeling of your touch
How you gave me all the toxins to close my arteries
How you never loved me the way I loved you and love you
Even now, I miss you for reasons I could never explain
I miss the lie, the charade, the hope and the pain
Disgusting, lovely, malevolent rose ...
I can never forget you, though I pray I could
Yet I still carry for you this illogical yearning
That forms the barrens' sun which never stops burning
===
AUTUMN MARROW
I still find your hairs trapped in the spines
Of those old tomes you loved to read
Even to Emma, bless your heart ...
She understood not even a fragment
But now, the pages are frayed and faded
From being awoken daily, and suddenly
Comatose.
Falling to ashes like the rough skin of autumn leaves
Leaving nothing but leaf skeletons.
Words and page bindings that build wireframe ribcages
To cradle stories and sepia memories of you
Your unshaking voice was my unshaking resolution
While you read to Emma, or sang me vicious lullabies
Or moaned softly as we made love
But once your soft serenity songs ceased
I knew my resolution had faltered.
I want to be strong,
But I am nothing without you.
I hate myself because I wasn't worth living for.
===
WE ALL SAY GOODBYE
I am the rain and the stars falling down from the sky
I am the hollow light dancing across meteorites
I am the contemptuous redemption implied within lies
And the air in bitter whispers when lovers say goodbye
Find me in twilight images blazing through the trees
Of forests that madmen would slaughter to seize
You may hear my ultimatums with God in the breeze
And watch my fingers dance in sync with lost leaves
My reflection can be seen within heartbroken eyes
And the tears of my daughter as she's sung a lullaby
It was so naive of us young fools to deny
That inevitably, we all must say goodbye
===
DISSONANCE
If you wish me near,
Open your rose petals to my light.
Through a ring of blood,
We may hold hands with both delicacy and fervor.
If you hold me to your bud,
We may drink of nectar and discover
Our lasting salvation.
However, if you wish that my light dissipate,
I, humble butterfly, shall take flight this eve
And leave no vengeful storm winds
And leave no passive silence
But only a trail of wing paintings in my absence.
And if by morning you desire my presence
Only to the tree beyond this windowsill
Must you extend your reach.
===
DECADENCE
I spent my early childhood
Buried under oak and emerald ceilings.
With sword in hand, I had planned
To slay the weathered whispers.
I often flushed my cheeks with adoration
Or exhausted, searching for salvation ...
Searching for the forest princess,
Ivy snaking between her breasts
Which blossomed only the faintest,
Most decadent,
Soft, invisible hairs.
The day I'd finally found her,
Naked and frail manifestation --
Manifesto --
Of my dream,
All I could do was stare
At the brass in her eyes.
DAUGHTER IN THE SUN
The electric sound that slithered sporatically
Through the air, underneath the deep crimson sky
Grazed the rim of my ear, and muttered into me
"There is something unseen married to you still ..."
The prophetic salamander flaunted his wings
Whilst I shed mine against the decomposed oak trees
The paint on my eyes muddied by my imperfection
And the paint in the sky muddied by the sun
Bred women and bred men, all of whom breed such prayers
That wish for a God or a crown on their heads
Or just a fleeting moment when their heart is lightened
Of the thick and heavy burden of the guilt of a lie
Two bitter-sweet lips, unruly in their formation
Of sentences and proclamations that are meant to decieve
The soft-eyed representatives of desperation
That were carried to you in their utterly hollow dreams
In my blood, I do steep conceited constitution
That beckoned me during the arrogant adolescence
Full of false Marys and devoid of the substance
Which wise men would come bearing within silk
The sun corrodes from the magnificence of humanity
The ironic decadence of the success we'd sought
Is written in the ground and against the corneas
Of those that we'd hurt to get where we are
And in that ironic decadence, I am left without a thing
But my regret which I'd imagined the victory would erase
It instead fed the infection that was born from the act
Of putting pen to paper, or heart to action
Within that regret I do remember the daughter
Whom I'd once met, and I had found her beautiful
But she was in the sun which now floats in the sky
The eyesore and the funeral that the clouds attend
===
MONOMANIA
Morose fingertips dancing across the carpet
Courting those profanities you muttered at departure
Whilst I derogate myself, so conscious of my acts
Adorn me with stars, bedeck me with letters
Hold me a wake or kiss me awake
Or at least see off the ghost of me
That lingers here with thoughts so impenetrable
Whispering afterthoughts of your impenitence
And impeccable, so impeccable you are
Within your guilting and within your greed
That I cannot detect nor dissect such circumstance
Until such a belated moment, impactless in its brevity
Here am I, impactless in my breathlessness
Lungs turned as hard as your eyes by the cold
A glimmer of a glint within my derangement
Return me to the life that I faintly regret
===
EXCRESCENCE
A sort of abrasion that corrodes my skin, my soul
Vulgarity within kindness within wordless dialogue
Extemporaneous movements that flicker through light
And my lashes, too innocent for my face
My vision is blurred and I can no longer discern
The words that you spoke from the daggers that lie
On the floor, still coated in my contemplation
Affection to disaffection to such gilded hearts
To execrate me, bewitching in your fragile hips
The beauty of your darkness that makes my heart flutter
With both fear and desire that desecrate what is
Left of my sensibility, left of my compassion
Malignity that cultivates me into a demon of the past
The roseaceous rogue that you are, so bewildering in your
Semblance of purity and justification and unfailing love
That devours the reflection I am forced to remember
===
GOD SAVE THE KING
Dig your nails into my skin
PSYCHOTIC PUPIL DILATION
Rob me over my every sin
IMMORAL VENOM HEART MUTATION
Marry me with vows of black
LOVELESS UNION VICTIMIZATION
Kiss me, stab me in the back
SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM REACTION
Look at me with filthy eyes
GODLESS HEARTLESS LIMITATION
Dirty lips littered with lies
SCRAMBLED VULGAR IMITATION
Take me to empyrean
FATAL BLOOD COAGULATION
Take me from this tomb I'm in
STATIC LOST COMMUNICATION --
===
REMEMBER
Through the cold night air that tastes like water
Always something does call me, hauntingly
Floating over the sounds of cars and lights
Is a voice that reminds me of you
And maybe on a subway, an inescapable moment
Inside the skeleton of a howling steel constrictor
The haste of my revolutionary eyes trick the third
Into seeing you in a girl with a frame like yours
But I am most cursed as I sleep at night
Like a charm, unfailingly do I remember you
Through a black hole that forms in the back of my mind
Is a vision that reminds me of you
===
SINNER IN A LOCKET
The barrens ...
This place, cursed in the way that it is
Destined to keep beating after time flatlines
Oh jagged pain which turns my breath asthmatic
A pain that cuts through sleep and anesthetic
I am a drifter of the most miserable sort
Only a husk of the redemption that I'd sought
Were I still foolish enough to believe in Christ
I'd sleep on a Bible and each night, pray thrice
The testament to which I devote my faith
Is only the decietful photo I carry with me
Next to the devil inside of my pocket
I've become nothing but a sinner in a locket
The barrens of my heart, a wasteland, a treasure
The pulsing afterbirth of my pulsing mistakes
You, error of my life, toxic remembrance rose
Living through the afterlife that you chose
Toxic rose for which I still crave the scent
The petals on my lips and thorns in my hands
The stem withering against my skin
Disgusting, lovely, malevolent sin
My bare feet are scarred from being so adamant
In my walking, yet I don't understand why
I push on in this world of blood and stone
With a sky of nondescript monochrome
Oh, my unforgettable toxic rose
The still-fresh wounds from the barbs in my fingers
Masochistic memory garbed in lace of black
I want you back ... no, never take me back
Cut me open and tell me what you see
Next to my heart, does my soul beat as well?
Or has it haphazardly turned to stone as an idol
Remember when we discussed you being in bridal ...
And when I'd hold you as you slept ...
And when I'd dress up before you came home ...
And when I gave my life for you ...
And when ... and when ...
Remember-!
The way your pubic bone hit mine so unpleasantly
Or how your breasts felt dead against my hands
Or how you swallowed pills because you hate me so much
Or how I forgot the feeling of your touch
How you gave me all the toxins to close my arteries
How you never loved me the way I loved you and love you
Even now, I miss you for reasons I could never explain
I miss the lie, the charade, the hope and the pain
Disgusting, lovely, malevolent rose ...
I can never forget you, though I pray I could
Yet I still carry for you this illogical yearning
That forms the barrens' sun which never stops burning
===
AUTUMN MARROW
I still find your hairs trapped in the spines
Of those old tomes you loved to read
Even to Emma, bless your heart ...
She understood not even a fragment
But now, the pages are frayed and faded
From being awoken daily, and suddenly
Comatose.
Falling to ashes like the rough skin of autumn leaves
Leaving nothing but leaf skeletons.
Words and page bindings that build wireframe ribcages
To cradle stories and sepia memories of you
Your unshaking voice was my unshaking resolution
While you read to Emma, or sang me vicious lullabies
Or moaned softly as we made love
But once your soft serenity songs ceased
I knew my resolution had faltered.
I want to be strong,
But I am nothing without you.
I hate myself because I wasn't worth living for.
===
WE ALL SAY GOODBYE
I am the rain and the stars falling down from the sky
I am the hollow light dancing across meteorites
I am the contemptuous redemption implied within lies
And the air in bitter whispers when lovers say goodbye
Find me in twilight images blazing through the trees
Of forests that madmen would slaughter to seize
You may hear my ultimatums with God in the breeze
And watch my fingers dance in sync with lost leaves
My reflection can be seen within heartbroken eyes
And the tears of my daughter as she's sung a lullaby
It was so naive of us young fools to deny
That inevitably, we all must say goodbye
===
DISSONANCE
If you wish me near,
Open your rose petals to my light.
Through a ring of blood,
We may hold hands with both delicacy and fervor.
If you hold me to your bud,
We may drink of nectar and discover
Our lasting salvation.
However, if you wish that my light dissipate,
I, humble butterfly, shall take flight this eve
And leave no vengeful storm winds
And leave no passive silence
But only a trail of wing paintings in my absence.
And if by morning you desire my presence
Only to the tree beyond this windowsill
Must you extend your reach.
===
DECADENCE
I spent my early childhood
Buried under oak and emerald ceilings.
With sword in hand, I had planned
To slay the weathered whispers.
I often flushed my cheeks with adoration
Or exhausted, searching for salvation ...
Searching for the forest princess,
Ivy snaking between her breasts
Which blossomed only the faintest,
Most decadent,
Soft, invisible hairs.
The day I'd finally found her,
Naked and frail manifestation --
Manifesto --
Of my dream,
All I could do was stare
At the brass in her eyes.