Chapter 2 is added everybody! tell me what you think.

A little info for the upcoming events and chapters, I will introduce the antagonists (Akuryo and Jay) in chapters 3 and 4. This story has no definite finale, as I will be writing this till the day that I am either banned forever, the day the website turns off forever, or till the day I loose interest in beyblade (which is probably never XD) so stay tuned!

I might also add a female character around chapter 7, and there will be a little romance with Trent in that (nothing extreme though). So there is another reason to stay tuned!

Look forward to it!

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So, any commentary???

There's some comments about Chapter 2 above. From me and Du@l.

ok! dont be too afraid of the story being to short. two chapters every weekend!

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Chapter 2 is added everybody! tell me what you think.

A little info for the upcoming events and chapters, I will introduce the antagonists (Akuryo and Jay) in chapters 3 and 4. This story has no definite finale, as I will be writing this till the day that I am either banned forever, the day the website turns off forever, or till the day I loose interest in beyblade (which is probably never XD) so stay tuned!

I might also add a female character around chapter 7, and there will be a little romance with Trent in that (nothing extreme though). So there is another reason to stay tuned!

Look forward to it!

---

So, any commentary???

There's some comments about Chapter 2 above. From me and Du@l.

ok! dont be too afraid of the story being to short. two chapters every weekend!

Well there as long as pages, so there not really chapters, you know?

Drew

Gladiator Ifraid D125EDS

Side:Good/Bad

Drew

Gladiator Ifraid D125EDS

Side:Good/Bad

you mean he joins the good side and betrayed them and went to the dark side?

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My rival is pretty obvious. POKEMO!!! I lost to him in a tournament match while he was using a friggin Gravity Perseus B:D!!! Lol

Drew

Gladiator Ifraid D125EDS

Side:Good/Bad

you mean he joins the good side and betrayed them and went to the dark side?

No he's neutral meaning he's a bounty hunter

Drew

Gladiator Ifraid D125EDS

Side:Good/Bad

you mean he joins the good side and betrayed them and went to the dark side?

No he's neutral meaning he's a bounty hunter

I really like the idea!!! maybe I can add him in on chapter 10? I will be interesting, a unique fit. More like a Ryuga, who is rather more neutral?

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you mean he joins the good side and betrayed them and went to the dark side?

No he's neutral meaning he's a bounty hunter

I really like the idea!!! maybe I can add him in on chapter 10?

Yeah Sure!

No he's neutral meaning he's a bounty hunter

I really like the idea!!! maybe I can add him in on chapter 10?

Yeah Sure!

Your Character has been added.

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Well there as long as pages, so there not really chapters, you know?

the reason is that I want people to progress through the story, with a slightly different story, but they all link, just like in the anime. I am just adding short chapters for the readers convenience

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any more character suggestions or commentary?

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I'm not sure if I should comment on this thread seeing as it's a few months old, but it's a potentially good series which I want to see more of and the female character sounds interesting.

If I were to ask for a character, do you accept only existing Beyblades or fan Beyblades?

EDIT:

THATS WHY I AM TURNING TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC FOR IDEAS.

note that all bey combos must include real parts

Goddammit, so much for Conquer Chelian.

[Image: 2wcdw9h.jpg]

[Image: 11shv1l.jpg]

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My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again

As a connoisseur for critiquing stories, I do need to point out a few faults in this story.

First of all, as stated already, length is too short. You probably need at least three more paragraphs of content so that way we're not jumbling everything together. Also, it makes the story overall more organized. Instead of 60 small chapters, you'll end up with 30 longer ones.

Also, you need to do some spacing between some of your thoughts. Your two chapters looked like smashed paragraphs, which are harder for me to read. Space out some of those thoughts so it's easier to read. That'll also help with your length.

I gotta say though, story's looking good. Not the best topic to choose, but so far, on the right path.

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Come check out my Youtube Channel here! It's all about video games!

Haven't read it, but I have a character:

Luck Mech
Beyblade: Ifraid Bahamadia ED145GCF

He is the main antagonist, psychotic, and has the power to read minds. He is good at thwarting plans, and he uses powers to manipulate the other antagonists. (Depicting that the others were manipulated by Luck, and when Luck dies the rest are freed)

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STORIES:

GGO+ | Country of Birth

Name: Akira
Bey: Archer Pegasis W145RDF

• Young Blader
• Look's Up To Trent

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Instagram: beyblade_destiny
Wii U: Anime_Skillz.Wii

Man, it looks like people are just requesting characters and you don't have the guts to deny bad/already used/mediocre requests. I'm not pointing fingers. P.S This is for Sionthehedgehog.

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Contact me if you wanna talk about any NBA/Kuroko no Basuke Topics!

Maybe I shouldn't have bumped this thread, considering it has been months.

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My Cho-Z Reaper Deathscyther .12.Cr concept render, click below to see!

Spoiler (Click to View)

No I don't plan on doing more yet.

I should probably go back to making fan custom Zero G beyblade concepts again

Man, it looks like people are just requesting characters and you don't have the guts to deny bad/already used/mediocre requests. I'm not pointing fingers. P.S This is for Sionthehedgehog.

Haha, I Actually Read The Story. Not Everyone Did That.

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Instagram: beyblade_destiny
Wii U: Anime_Skillz.Wii

So did I