[Fan Fiction]  Beyblade Burst Densetsu(Alternate Season 6 Fanfiction)

Hey everyone! I’ve been attempting to develop a Beyblade Fanfiction for a while now. I’ve been attempting to come up with the basis for the story for a few months(Ok maybe a bit over a year. Procrastination sucks) and I think I finally have an idea of what to do. Here’s the characters and overall premise of the story:



Premise:
-Taking place a year after the events of Beyblade Burst Sparking, young blader Batal Hiro is inspired by the Legendary Valt Aoi to upgrade to the next generation of beyblade: The Densetsu or Legend System. With his new bey, Heroic Bellerophon, Batal aims for the top as he endures the challenges of the blading world. As Batal makes his claim in the World Stage, the next generation of bladers is unleashed upon the world, standing as obstacles to our heroic duo as they try to make their way to the top!




Beys:


1) Batal Hiro’s Heroic Bellerophon Blade Surge +Barrage and Omega Bellerophon Blade-Triumph Surge+’ (Both = Clockwise Attack Type)(Protag Beys)
2) Rin Avara’s Indomitable Roc Barricade Screech +Crush(Clockwise Defense Type)
3) Valt Aoi’s Might Valkyrie Tri Explosion +Ancient(Clockwise Attack Type)
4) Lukas Grant’s Jinx Ladon Thrash Swap +Coil(Clockwise Balance Type)
5) Rantaro Kiyama’s Gale Ragnaruk Giant Turbine +Everlasting(Clockwise Stamina Type
6) Free De la Hoya’s Soul Fafnir Siphon Spring +Transfer(Counter Clockwise Stamina Type)
7) Lui Shirosagijo’s Tyrant Longinus Smash Collapse +Eviscerate(Counter Clockwise Attack Type)
8) Chen Pyrrhus’s Raze/Pyro/Obsidian Chimera Verge Ember +Ravage and Doom Chimera Verge-Ender Ember+’(Both = Counter Clockwise Balance Type)(Antag Beys)
9) Aiga Akaba’s Ultra Achilles Augment Xtend+ Metal +Fate(Clockwise Balance Type)
10) Drum Koryu’s Aether Dragon Bounce Tank +Myth(Clockwise Attack Type)
11) Phi’s Despair Phoenix Dismantle Grind +Comet(Clockwise Defense Type)
12) Shu Kurenai’s Valor Spriggan Augment Equinox +Warrior(Dual Rotation Balance Type)
13) Unknown Clockwise Defense Type bey.

Manga Exclusive:
14) Ken Midori’s Chain Kerbeus Bounce Atomic +Recoil(Clockwise Defense Type)
15) Xhaka Shakadera’s Epitome Xcalibur Shine Metal Iron +Point.(Clockwise Attack Type)
16) Zac the Sunshine/Sunrise’s Quasar Zeus Align Metal Planet +Everlasting(Clockwise Stamina Type)
17) Heroic Theseus +Ancient(Clockwise Attack Layer, rare get bey)


Hope to see all of you soon and feel free to submit some ideas!

Also, another note: I will not be accepting OCs to be added to the story.





Bey System:

Core: Similar to the Sparking Core, though shaped to be more hexagon like as well as fitting into the rest of the bey akin to a plastic gen weight without the burst stopper tab, along with having the same shape. Dual Spin Beys will have their cores fused with the next part of the system, and there are variants that utilize metal. Like God Chips, they utilize painted letters on them to help determine the identity of the core. While the cores are not listed in the combo, they do, however, have names of their own. Here is the list of core names and designs:
-Bellerophon(Yellow with White painted B).
-Roc(Orange with Gold painted R).
-Valkyrie(Red with White Painted V).
-Ladon(Magenta with Black Painted L).
-Ragnaruk(Cyan with White painted reversed R).
-Fafnir(Green with Gold painted F).
-Longinus(Lavender with Gold painted reversed L).
-Chimera(Purple with White painted C).
-Achilles(Blue with White painted A).
-Dragon(Dark Red with White Painted D).
-Phoenix(Black with Gold Painted P).
-Kerbeus(Dark Green with Black Painted K).
-Zeus(Silver with Gold Painted Z).
-???
-Spriggan, Theseus, Bellerophon II, Chimera II, and Xcalibur are not cores, with Spriggan’s being fused(Same shape as Spriggan Sparking Chip’s “core”)from dual rotation, Theseus, Bellerophon II and Chimera II having a fused metal core, and Xcalibur utilizing a standard metal core instead of a specialized core.

Avatar Plate: The Avatar Plate is essentially the Chip, being more similar to the MFB Energy Rings in shape, with several altered designs that depict the avatar. They all help determine the bey’s rotation and  contain the teeth of the bey, in which are dropped down heavily to ensure that there are no raised slopes to an extent. Here is a list of all the Avatar Plates:
-Bellerophon I(Clockwise)
-Roc(Clockwise)
-Valkyrie(Clockwise)
-Ladon(Clockwise)
-Ragnaruk(Clockwise)
-Fafnir(Counter Clockwise)
-Longinus(Counter Clockwise)
-Chimera I(Counter Clockwise)
-Achilles(Clockwise)
-Dragon(Clockwise)
-Phoenix(Clockwise)
-Spriggan(Dual Rotation)
-Bellerophon II(Clockwise)
-Chimera II(Counter Clockwise)
-Kerbeus(Clockwise)
-Xcalibur(Clockwise)
-Zeus(Clockwise)
-Theseus(Clockwise)
-???(Clockwise)

Densetsu Layer: The Densetsu layer is formatted akin to a DB blade, meaning that they are overall quite thin. They take on an inner part akin to that of a GT Base that allows for the avatar plate to be clipped on. The layer, along with the Avatar Plate, determines the rotation of the bey, and can be utilize multiple different standard gimmicks, such as rubber, Spring Loaded blades, and even metal. Dual rotation Layers are formatted the same way as the Lord GT base. You are able to use Densetsu Layers even without the next part of the system for added customization. Here is a list of all the Layers:

-Heroic(Attack, R)
-Indomitable(Defense, R)
-Might(Attack, R)
-Jinx(Balance, R)
-Gale(Stamina, R)
-Soul(Stamina, L)
-Tyrant(Attack, L)
-Raze(Attack, L)(Chimera Layer 1)
-Pyro(Stamina, L)(Chimera Layer 2)
-Obsidian(Defense, L)(Chimera Layer 3)
-Ultra(Strike Armor)(Attack, R)(Achilles Layer Mode 1)
-Ultra(Guard Armor)(Defense, R)(Achilles Layer Mode 2)
-Ultra(Ultra Armor)(Balance, R)(Achilles Layer Mode 3)
-Aether(Attack, R)
-Despair(Defense, R)(2 Part Densetsu Layer)
-Valor(Balance, L/R)(Dual Spin Densetsu Layer)
-Chain(Defense, R)
-Epitome(Attack, R)
-Quasar(Stamina, R)
-Omega(Attack, R)(Layer and Casing fusion)
-Doom(Balance, L)(Layer and Casing fusion)
-???(Defense, R)


(More Below)

Casing: The casing is a sub layer that consists of added on contact points to allow for more gimmicks as well as overall burst resistance. While all beys come with one, it is not needed to assemble a Densetsu bey, though you will not be able to utilize normal discs with a casing on. All casings correspond to different rotations(Some being L/R), have metal in the center for more weight, with some adding on an extra gimmick or more contact points. Some Gimmicks are click oriented, meaning that they can be changed depending on the alignment of the casing to the layer. Here is a list of the casings and their gimmicks:

-+Barrage(4 Ace like blades; Reinforces contact points on Heroic for more slash attack potential, R)
-+Crush(5 bladed contact points akin to Paradox; blades can be reversed to alter between low and high modes, L/R)
-+Ancient(3 bladed dense rubber contact points akin to 2A, can be altered between slash attack 3 bladed and barrage attack 6 bladed modes when paired with Might, R)
-+Coil(7 contact points that can align with Jinx Layer to alternate between 7 bladed attack and 14 bladed defense)
-+Everlasting(Very Circular with smooth metal on the outside behind a ring of POM plastic for greater IWD and OWD. Excellent stamina, L/R)
-+Transfer(3 Geist Fafnir like contact points that can be aligned with the ??? Layer in 3 bladed alignment for reinforced spinsteal. In 6 bladed/counter alignment, the outer ring becomes freespinning, L)
-+Eviscerate(Extended blades that slope downwards like 3A for greater upper attack potential, L)
-+Ravage(6 Smooth Hell Salamander like blades connected to an inner ring. Blades can be flipped akin to the Turn frame depending on the rotation or setup, L/R)
-+Fate(Circular casing that has a Convert like gimmick which allows for weight to be altered for off balanced and balanced modes, L/R)
-+Myth(Underside of Imperial Dragon shape with 4 small rubber blades that increase attack power,  R)
-+Comet(10 contact pointed Spring Loaded Circular casing akin to the Sting Disc to be used for defense, L/R)
-+Warrior: Rotation neutral 2 bladed casing that utilizes a burst slower gimmick. If the casing is hit, it will be pushed back, burst slowers being pushed in similar to World’s. L/R.
-+Recoil(Ovular shape containing 4 rotation neutral shock absorption blades akin to Hazard Kerbeus’s, reinforced with elastic rubber to semi prevent overloading, L/R)
-+Point(Dagger  frame like shape that aligns with the Epitome Densetsu layer perfectly, and can be rotated 180° to allow for a more balanced 2 strike attack, L/R)
-+???

Split Disc: Split Discs are discs that are utilized as a way to increase customization, with all being able to split apart into upper and lower halves and combined with other discs to allow for different epic customization options. Split Discs can be used on any non Limit Break bey, though their prongs are slightly lengthened to fit the gimmicks, leaving a small gap without the casing. Split discs also cannot be used unless both top and bottom parts are connected, and while they will fit regardless of rotation, some cannot be combined with others. Here is a list of some of the discs and gimmicks if they have them:

(Note: The L/R stuff is only to determine if they can pair with another disc of a certain rotation. All discs and possible combinations can be used by either spin.)

-Blade(Top: L/R, Bottom: R)
-Barricade(Top: L/R, Bottom: L/R)
-Tri(Top: R, Bottom: R)(Blitz Like tabs jut out when spinning)
-Thrash(Top: L/R, Bottom: L/R)
-Giant(Top: L/R, Bottom: L/R)
-Siphon(Top: L/R, Bottom: L/R)(Circular Rubber Ring to allow for Spinsteal)
-Smash(Top: L, Bottom: L)(Drake like shape aligns with Disaster’s blades after clicking for more damage)
-Verge(Top: L, Bottom: L)
-Augment(Top: L/R, Bottom: L/R)(Top can shift weight to different sides of the bey. Works extremely well with Epitome for attack)
-Bounce(Top: L/R, Bottom: L/R)(Top and Bottom have spring loaded rotation neutral blades that allow for bound attacks)
-Dismantle(Top: R, Bottom: R)
-Shine(Top: R, Bottom: R)(2 Lower point aligns with Epitome Layer backed by another disc part with the same shape on top of it.)
-Align(Top: L/R, Bottom: L/R)(8 Freespinning metal balls, 4 on each of the 2 parts, to allow for more LAD and weight distribution.)

Drivers:

-Surge(Height Changing Attack Driver with a freespinning Xceed like Rubber tip. Xtend+ like height change with 3 heights.)
-Screech(Freespinning POM ball tip with a freespinning Zone like ring around it to keep itself off balanced)
-Explosion(A thick attack type driver utilizing a rotation affected tip that retracts when at lower speeds. Surrounding surface is extremely jagged akin to a plastic variable driver, allowing for incredibly high speed as well as control. The jagged portion is slightly raised to prevent it from going super out of control all the time, and to allow drifting.)
-Swap(Thin Driver utilizing a flippable tip that can alternate between a metal stationary ball and a metal semi flat. Locks in by twisting, outer ring for more LAD/Drifting)
-Turbine(A stamina type driver using a Revolve like plate made of POM plastic combined with upwards facing Flugel like spikes above the plate for increased upwards force when on a right spin combo, and downwards when on a left spin.
-Spring(Freespinning wide sharp tip driver that compresses with a spring, Just driver like freespinning ring that increases LAD akin to Universe. Ring is not spring loaded)
-Collapse: A rubber jagged tip akin to spiral surrounded by a jagged freespinning plastic ring to increase LAD and kick off the stadium for epic counters and speed boosts.
-Ember: Semi-Flat tip surrounded by a freespinning Destroy like ring that allows for both stationary and mobile acceleration around the stadium. Shortness grants low center of gravity and increased stability.
-Xtend+ Metal: Xtend+ Chip replaced by a partially Metal Chip with metal on the ring around the main tip and the outer ring to increase weight and reduce stadium friction
-Tank: Wide hole flat tip that is attached to a spring loaded inner portion to allow for recoil dispersion as well as a nothing break like mode. Contains a small amount of metal above it to increase overall weight.
-Grind: A POM horizontal freespinning half Ball tip akin to Keep surrounded by a jagged plastic ring to allow for increased recoil dispersion as well as being able to kick off the stadium for quick drifts and preventing major damage from smash attacks. The ring juts out slightly and is slightly spring loaded to allow for it to uppercut any beys that try to smash attack it.
-Equinox: A semi-sharp tip surrounded by a stationary plastic ring with dense rubber laced around it to allow for drifting and counterattacks as well as attack/speed potential.
-Surge+’: An upgraded version of the Surge driver with a golden Spring for increased burst resistance. Tip now has added Metal wide plate with a rubber outer ring for increased LAD, Weight, and drift potential. Plate is removable.
-Ember+’: An upgraded version of the Ember driver with a golden spring for increased burst resistance. Metal plate that latches onto the bottom of the Ember driver’s freespinning ring that also attaches to the sharp tip. Rotating it 180 degrees and putting it back on now activates a mode change, in which you can alternate between an Xtend+ attack mode with the sharp tip retracted to a sharp tip balance mode with metal around it + freespinning.
-Atomic(Old Driver)
-Metal Iron(Metal Lock version of Old Driver)
-Metal Planet(Metal Lock version of Old Driver)
-???(Upcoming Defense Type driver)

Coming Soon:
-OC descriptions/personalities.

Episode Count: 52

Episode 1: (J)Densetsu! Bellerophon’s Rise! (A) Bursting Into Overdrive! Bellerophon!
Episode 2: (J)Barricade Challenge! Indomitable Roc! (A)Steel Defense! Impenetrable Roc!
Episode 3: (J)Sword of the heavenly gods! Might Valkyrie! (A) Sword of the Sky! Mighty Valtryek!
Episode 4: (J)Super ultra training from a legend! (A)Training from the legend of legends!
Episode 5: (J)Misfortune and Havoc! Jinx Ladon! (A) Bad luck! Jinx Ladonis!
Episode 6: (J)Combatting the cheater! Training from the master of storms! (A)To take down a cheater! Training from the storm master!
Episode 7: (J)Batal vs Lukas! (A)Batal vs Lukas!
Episode 8: (J)Vampiric Dragon! Soul Fafnir! (A) Soul Stealer! Specter Fafnir!
Episode 9: (J)The Heroic Warrior vs the Dragon of Greed! (A)Bellerophon vs Fafnir!
Episode 10: (J)Rock Solid! True Indomitable Defense! (A)An Impervious Defense!
Episode 11: (J)Master of Disaster! Lui Shirosagijo! (A)The Winter Knight! Lui!
More Episodes Shall be revealed later on!
Arcs:

Arc 1:
-A new hero!(Eps 1-7)
Arc 2:
-Dragon Masters!(Eps 8-13)
Arc 3: 
-Blaze Ignited!(Eps 14-16)
Arc 3:
-The World Beyblade Festival!(Eps 17-31)
Arc 4:
-Legends Awaken!(Eps 32-40)
Arc 5:
-Blazing Rampage!(Eps 41-47)
Arc 6:
-The Legendary Finale!(Eps 48-52)

Looking for:
-Prefixes for Spriggan And Fafnir(Completed)
-Ideas to change stuff up in the later arcs
-Roles characters should play
-Changes to when characters should appear.
"Harbinger" of destruction, that last episode title caught my attention, is there any chance that you play Genshin Impact?
Hm, I have an idea for prefixes: Soul Fanfir & Crest Spriggan.
Also, this seems very interesting and looks like you put in some major effort with all the Beys and story, looking forward to seeing the actual thing.
(Apr. 29, 2021  2:39 PM)PeppzieCola Wrote: "Harbinger" of destruction, that last episode title caught my attention, is there any chance that you play Genshin Impact?

Unfortunately no, though I’ve had some interest in it.

(Apr. 29, 2021  2:56 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Hm, I have an idea for prefixes: Soul Fanfir & Crest Spriggan.
Also, this seems very interesting and looks like you put in some major effort with all the Beys and story, looking forward to seeing the actual thing.

I’ll think about Soul, though C is unfortunately taken due to Chain Kerbeus. 
Here are the taken letters:
-H, I, M, J, G, D, R, P, O, U, A, T, C, E, and Q.

Bellerophon and Chimera’s evo’s prefix names will overlap with O and D, though its an upgraded system so I think its fine to overlap.

(Apr. 29, 2021  2:56 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Hm, I have an idea for prefixes: Soul Fanfir & Crest Spriggan.
Also, this seems very interesting and looks like you put in some major effort with all the Beys and story, looking forward to seeing the actual thing.

Ye I’ll use Soul, tho the Spriggan prefix is still needed.
I see true potential in this fan fic.
Time for a fun Bonus: Strengths and Weaknesses of each of the bey’s modes(Casing or No Casing):

No Casing:
-Strengths:
1) More customization.
2) Faster
3) Less recoil
4) Slightly higher burst resistance.
5) Higher stamina on some beys.

-Weaknesses:
1) Lighter
2) While still heavy, beys like Rage or Brave can swat them around pretty easily depending on the combo.
3) Higher center of gravity = lower stability.
4) Lower Stamina on some beys.

Casing:
-Strengths:
1) Heavier Weight
2) Added gimmicks
3) More explosive battles
4) Better stamina overall
5) Higher attack/defense

-Weaknesses:
1) Weaker Burst resistance from slightly raised slopes(Not to an alarming point, though.)
2) Limited customization with discs
3) Higher Recoil can lead to getting over finished easily.
4) Cannot use Power Core drivers.


Average Weight of System:

-Without Casing: Around 58 grams.
-With Casing: Around 66 grams.

OC Information 1:

Blader Name: Batal Hiro

Age: 12

Bey(s): First Uranus Charge 2D(Former), Heroic Bellerophon Blade Surge +Barrage, TBD evolution.

Biography:
Batal Hiro(バタル ヒロ Hiro Bataru) is the main protagonist of the “anime/manga” series Beyblade Burst DT(Densetsu). After being inspired to upgrade his bey by witnessing Valt Aoi’s power, Batal creates his own Densetsu bey, Heroic Bellerophon Blade Surge +Barrage, and sets out on a journey to become the best blader in the world.(Will be updated).

Appearance Description:
Batal is a short boy, sharing some similarities with Aiga Akaba and Drum Koryu, with tanned skin and bright green eyes, with his hair being yellow with green highlights, spiked up as if it was a smaller version of Hyuga’s. He wears green and yellow clothing. He has a yellow star like tattoo on his forehead, along with two white lightning bolt tattoos painted onto his cheeks, going diagonally in opposite directions.

In DT, Batal’s attire consists of a pale green shirt with a yellow beyblade symbol on the front, a green long sleeved athletic jacket with a yellow striped white collar, sea-foam sleeves, a yellow and red wrist collars and a yellow hand brace on his left hand and wrist, grey pants with yellow lightning bolt stripes running down the sides that are curled up at the ends, a red belt with a gold Beyblade symbol buckle, and white sneakers with yellow laces and light green bottoms.

When Batal resonates with his bey, his hair and irises become gold.


Personality/Traits:
-Clumsy: Like Valt in seasons 1-2, Batal is quite clumsy, often getting tripped by nothing as well as often having a habit of knocking over materials while making a bey part or drawing.
-Extroverted and Nice: Batal is quite extroverted and friendly towards others, expressing his opinions loudly much to the annoyance of others.
-Intelligent: Despite his loud and often annoying behavior, Batal is surprisingly intelligent, often relying on strategy instead of brute force to take on his opponents, though when angered he is prone to throwing away his strategies and going in for brutal attacks.
-Art Lover: Batal, before he got into Beyblade, was a huge art lover, and this still carries over with his current state. He, unlike most burst protagonists, is a competent drawer, able to draw out his plans for his bey as well as other things. He is also very impatient, and he will get easily frustrated if it takes too long.
-Hot Headed: Batal, despite his friendly nature, is extremely hot headed, and is often prone to anger or frustration  if an opponent taunts him. This is especially apparent during his battle with Lukas Grant in episode 5 and his first battle with Lui Shirosagijo in episode 11.
-Easily Scared: Is easily startled by several things, and has trouble keeping this cool if scared.
-Semi-Forgetful/Oblivious: Like Drum, Batal can be quite oblivious sometimes, as seen in episode 1 in which he forgets the location of the WBBA stadium and accidentally runs in the opposite direction despite his friend’s warnings.
-Fast Learner in Battle: Batal can adapt quite quickly, and has the ability to mimic some bladers moves out of experience. This is an ability he shares with Chen Pyrrhus.
-Born to Battle: Batal loves Beyblade, and is shown to be a Beyblade memorabilia collector, his room being adorned with several Beyblade merchandise as well as a cut out poster of a promotional poster for Sparking’s Legend Festival.
-Ramen Lover: Batal’s favorite food is Ramen, and he will immediately chow down on it if offered to him.

Backstory: A Blader from the small town of Beigoma, Japan, Batal is a massive Beyblade fanatic, idolizing legendary bladers such as Valt Aoi and Shu Kurenai. After being defeated by a Blader known as Rin Avara, Batal encounters a chance opportunity to see Valt battle, which inspires Batal to forge his own DT/Densetsu bey: Heroic Bellerophon, and seeks to rise through the world rankings to become the best of the best.

Launch Styles:
1) A copy of Valt Aoi’s Season 1 launch, having copied it from watching replays of Valt’s battles.(Former)
2) Batal will stomp his back foot on the ground before twisting his waist to the right, bringing his arms around his head before swinging them horizontally to his left as he tugs on his string launcher, launching Bellerophon as he spins once from the overall force of his launch.
3) ???(Will be revealed)

Special Moves:
1) Heroic Shoot: Using the stadium’s slope to gain momentum, Bellerophon will unleash a rush shoot like barrage of attacks against the opponent with its 4 blades.
2) Heroic Smasher: With the Surge driver in tall height, Bellerophon’s blades will glow yellow as it unleashed a powerful smash attack against the opponent’s layer.
3) Heroic Upper: With the Surge driver in short height, Bellerophon will go underneath the opponent’s layer and casing, attempting to send them flying with a powerful upper attack.
4) Heroic Sword: Utilizing the flat rubber tip and freespinning Xceed like ring on the Surge driver, Bellerophon will use it’s gained momentum to unleash a powerful attack against the opponent, dealing high damage.
5) TBD
6) TBD
7) TBD
8-10) (TBD/Evolution moves)

Relationships:
(Will be updated as series progresses)

Some planned ideas are listed below. They are not story breaking spoilers, so you all should be good on that front:

1) ???? is finally going to defeat ??? in a 1v1 battle.
2) Valt vs Phi was not originally planned, but I’m attempting to fit it into the story.
3) Two of the legends are going to appear pretty late into the story, though I may change it to having their beys be revealed later on while they appear earlier in the fanfic.
4) New resonance: Blaze(Don’t worry, it’s not gonna be a massive punch in the gut like Flare)
5) There will be Beys getting destroyed, and some of them will possibly shock you.
6) Only one tournament arc based off an altered Legend Festival.
7) Multiple parallels between past seasons and Densetsu.

Feel free to comment your ideas!
Upcoming Character Descriptions;
-Rin Avara
-Gigi Hanawa
-Iki Hanawa
-Valt Aoi(Upgraded Densetsu appearance)
-Albert Hikari
-Lukas Grant
-Rantaro Kiyama(Upgraded Densetsu appearance)
-Free de La Hoya(Upgraded Densetsu appearance)
-Lui Shirosagijo(Upgraded Densetsu appearance)
-Chen Pyrrhus
-Aiga Akaba(Upgraded Densetsu appearance)
-Drum Koryu(Upgraded Densetsu appearance)
-Phi(Upgraded Densetsu appearance)
-Shu Kurenai(Upgraded Densetsu appearance)

Episode 1 shall be posted tomorrow.
Sorry for the wait. Here’s the first chapter of the fanfic:

https://www.wattpad.com/1063433023-beybl...1-densetsu

(May. 05, 2021  4:44 PM)MasterofDerp Wrote: Sorry for the wait. Here’s the first chapter of the fanfic:

https://www.wattpad.com/1063433023-beybl...1-densetsu

Feel free to leave a review of it.
Double Chapter Rating, here we go!

Plot: 5/5. I really love the premise of this, looks pretty fun (even though I have to admit the part with Albert helping Batal make his Beys seems rather cliche, but it's better than other alternatives).
Dialogue: 5/5. I love the back and forth between the characters (looks like Rin's gonna be the sidekick person later on, amirite?) and all the bickering is really funny.
Characterization: 5/5. Of course I'm talking about returning characters as I can't judge the OCs yet; Valt and Sisco's personalities are exactly on-point.
Grammar: 4.5/5. It's probably just me, but I always feel weirded out by the 'would' in every sentence. I mean, you could always just swap them for past forms of the following verb, but you do you.
Battles: 5/5. One of my favorite things about this story is how detailed everything is, and battles are no exception. I love your descriptions of the movement and stuff very much, seems pretty realistic and makes it all the more exciting to read.

Final Rating: 24.5/25. This thing is awesome and it has potential to be the best Beyblade fanfic I've ever read, and that was not a compliment. Looking forward to the next chapters!
(May. 06, 2021  6:59 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Double Chapter Rating, here we go!

Plot: 5/5. I really love the premise of this, looks pretty fun (even though I have to admit the part with Albert helping Batal make his Beys seems rather cliche, but it's better than other alternatives).
Dialogue: 5/5. I love the back and forth between the characters (looks like Rin's gonna be the sidekick person later on, amirite?) and all the bickering is really funny.
Characterization: 5/5. Of course I'm talking about returning characters as I can't judge the OCs yet; Valt and Sisco's personalities are exactly on-point.
Grammar: 4.5/5. It's probably just me, but I always feel weirded out by the 'would' in every sentence. I mean, you could always just swap them for past forms of the following verb, but you do you.
Battles: 5/5. One of my favorite things about this story is how detailed everything is, and battles are no exception. I love your descriptions of the movement and stuff very much, seems pretty realistic and makes it all the more exciting to read.

Final Rating: 24.5/25. This thing is awesome and it has potential to be the best Beyblade fanfic I've ever read, and that was not a compliment. Looking forward to the next chapters!

Thx for the review! I agree that the would part is something I need to work on, though Batal is connected to the antag in the way he and Albert made the bey together. A lot is gonna be foreshadowed in the upcoming chapters, and the antag has a connection to Valt(Don’t worry, it’s not familial. Familial OCs with canons are not something I like). As for Rin, think of him as a more competent Rantaro/Sisco character going forward.
MasterofDerp, I like this fan fic, just wanting to know if you will have a character contest
(May. 07, 2021  7:00 PM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote: MasterofDerp, I like this fan fic, just wanting to know if you will have a character contest

Unfortunately no. I may make something regarding future plot elements, but I will not be holding a character contest nor shall I be adding in any OC characters other than those who I have added in all ready. Srry
https://www.wattpad.com/1066488091-beybl...the/page/8
Episode 3 is up!

(May. 09, 2021  3:15 AM)MasterofDerp Wrote: https://www.wattpad.com/1066488091-beybl...the/page/8
Episode 3 is up!

Feel free to leave a review. Episode 4 is coming soon!
So far im really liking the story, its honestly become my new favorite.

As for Spriggans prefix, maybe Volcano Spriggan Or Vengeance Spriggan
(May. 09, 2021  10:41 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: So far im really liking the story, its honestly become my new favorite.

As for Spriggans prefix, maybe Volcano Spriggan Or Vengeance Spriggan

Unfortunately Volcano is taken(Due to Helios Volvano) and Vengeance wouldn’t make sense for Spriggan in its current state.
(May. 10, 2021  12:47 AM)MasterofDerp Wrote:
(May. 09, 2021  10:41 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: So far im really liking the story, its honestly become my new favorite.

As for Spriggans prefix, maybe Volcano Spriggan Or Vengeance Spriggan

Unfortunately Volcano is taken(Due to Helios Volvano) and Vengeance wouldn’t make sense for Spriggan in its current state.

List of Spriggan Names:

Cosmic Spriggan
Ultra Spriggan
Valor Spriggan
Paladin Spriggan

Want more?
OC Information 2:

Blader Name: Rin Avara

Age: 13

Bey(s): Indomitable Roc Barricade Screech +Crush

Biography:
Rin Avara(リン エーバラ Eebara Rin) is a character in the “anime/manga” series, Beyblade Burst Densetsu. He currently fights with his beyblade, Indomitable Roc Barricade Screech +Crush.

Appearance Description:
Rin is a tall boy of highly muscular build, with bright orange hair that represents his fiery passion for blading. He has bright blue eyes and thick bushy eyebrows. His hair is kept back in a ponytail held together by a crimson rubber band similar to Aiga Akaba’s. He also has a cat claw like scar running down his left cheek from an encounter with a feral cat.

In DT, Rin wears a bright orange Karategi with torn up sleeves, showing a former background in Karate, along with a red-orange fabric belt wrapped around his torso with a gold R on a small belt buckle. Underneath his Karate garb, Rin wears a charcoal colored undershirt and black athletic shorts, with white socks with orange and red lines running down the sides as well as orange sneakers with white soles, a red and red-orange pattern on top to match his karate garb. Rin wears a turquoise glove with a black ring with spikes on it on his left hand.


Personality/Traits:
-Competitive: Rin is an extremely competitive Blader, challenging others who are above his skill level no matter the cost.
-Arrogant: While Rin is a powerful Blader, he is extremely arrogant. This is shown during his first few battles with Batal Hiro in episodes 1-3. Over time, however, he grows less arrogant, taking on a more humble and friendly personality.
-Honorable: Despite his arrogant and rude tendencies, Rin cares deeply on upholding the Beyblade rules, and will become furious if they are broken. This is shown during his battle with Lukas Grant in episode 5.
-Kabourophobia: Rin has a severely intense fear of crabs, and will often flee or simply freeze up if around them.
-Hot Headed: Like Batal, Rin is super hot headed, even more so than the Bellerophon Blader, and will immediately snap back against someone who ridicules him or angers him.
-A softie underneath: Despite his gruff and rude exterior, Rin is a fun guy to hang around, and is actually even nice? Just don’t ever tell him that.


Backstory: A Blader from Beigoma, Rin Avara was formerly a prodigy in Karate, going to multiple championships as well as becoming nationally renowned in the sport. He grew bored... every match was the same, with him always winning. He wanted to try something new. Hearing about Beyblade, Rin immediately became hooked on it, eventually forging his Densetsu bey, Indomitable Roc, with the help of the bey trainer Albert Hikari. Now, Rin seeks to state his claim in the Beyblade world to prove he is the greatest Blader to ever cross the WBBA.

Launch Styles:
1) Rin will punch forwards with his left hand while bringing his right hand back, clenching on the ripcord before crouching. Rin will leap upwards and forwards, unleashing a kick with his left leg while launching in midair.

Special Moves:
1) Screech Crash: When Roc is knocked back by the opponent, it will utilize the freespinning ring around the Screech driver to stabilize itself before charging down the stadium slope for a counterattack. When in its “stamina mode”, Roc’s immediate counter will change into a series of drifts due to the casing scraping the floor, continuing to gain momentum before slamming into the opponent’s bey for serious damage.
2) Indomitable Shield: Utilizing the 5(Or 10 if in Ultra Defense mode), blades on the Indomitable Densetsu Layer, Roc will use them to reflect the opponent’s attacks, a red-orange dome of light surrounding it for bonus effect. This technique is far more effective in “Ultra Defense Mode”.
3) Indomitable Charge: When knocked back far to the edge of the stadium, Roc’s screech driver will grind against the stadium as Roc begins to charge, using its heavy weight and IWD to deal a powerful crash attack that sends the opponent flying. The attack is faster in “Ultra Stamina Mode” and more powerful in “Ultra Defense Mode”.

Relationships:
(Will be updated as series progresses)

(May. 10, 2021  3:07 AM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote:
(May. 10, 2021  12:47 AM)MasterofDerp Wrote: Unfortunately Volcano is taken(Due to Helios Volvano) and Vengeance wouldn’t make sense for Spriggan in its current state.

List of Spriggan Names:

Cosmic Spriggan
Ultra Spriggan
Valor Spriggan
Paladin Spriggan

Want more?

I love Valor. Cosmic is too close to Cosmo, Paladin is ok, and Ultra is taken by Densetsu Achilles
Dang, that is a LOT of details. Man I admire the effort you're putting into this.
(May. 10, 2021  2:04 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Dang, that is a LOT of details. Man I admire the effort you're putting into this.

Thx! Next episode is gonna be pretty fun I think. Loads of comedy, and MAYBE a bit of foreshadowing.
(May. 11, 2021  9:16 AM)MasterofDerp Wrote: Episode 4 is up!
https://www.wattpad.com/1068281974-beybl...uper-ultra

Reviews would be appreciated!

Whole heartedly love this chapter
(May. 11, 2021  9:16 AM)MasterofDerp Wrote: Episode 4 is up!
https://www.wattpad.com/1068281974-beybl...uper-ultra

Reviews would be appreciated!

Welp, you were right. This episode was suuuuper fun to read, so here goes your rating!

Plot: 5/5. We find out more about the Densetsu system in practice, and looks like we're dealing with another Lane character (I'm 90% sure this one will be better tho) at some point in the future. Interesting..
Dialogue: 5/5. This is probably what made the chapter so fun for me, especially Rin's. And here I thought he'd be the only sane man of the group, I guess not XD
Characterization: 5/5. Poor Sisco can't catch a break from newbs invading the place, Valt is rolling with it as always, Batal continues being an excited bean, Rin is totally not freaking out, Gigi's a little gremlin, Iki wants to go home, and Albert is like 'Ah, the good ol' days of youth'. I love every single bit of it.
Grammar: 4.5/5. Oh, forgot to mention spelling and stuff factor into the grammar section, whoops 😅. There was just some stuff with capitalization and the like, nothing much.
Battles: 5/5. There's a lot of action and energy and both battles were really fun to follow (and until it's revealed who the more upbeat voice is, I'll keep assuming it's the pegasus because it stuck in my head that way). R.I.P Rin, his ego must've suffered a huge blow from that Burst.

Final Rating: 24.5/5. Awesome chapter, it was tons of fun and the foreshadowing was cool, definitely looking forward to what's coming next!
(May. 11, 2021  5:47 PM)PinkRose Wrote:
(May. 11, 2021  9:16 AM)MasterofDerp Wrote: Episode 4 is up!
https://www.wattpad.com/1068281974-beybl...uper-ultra

Reviews would be appreciated!

Welp, you were right. This episode was suuuuper fun to read, so here goes your rating!

Plot: 5/5. We find out more about the Densetsu system in practice, and looks like we're dealing with another Lane character (I'm 90% sure this one will be better tho) at some point in the future. Interesting..
Dialogue: 5/5. This is probably what made the chapter so fun for me, especially Rin's. And here I thought he'd be the only sane man of the group, I guess not XD
Characterization: 5/5. Poor Sisco can't catch a break from newbs invading the place, Valt is rolling with it as always, Batal continues being an excited bean, Rin is totally not freaking out, Gigi's a little gremlin, Iki wants to go home, and Albert is like 'Ah, the good ol' days of youth'. I love every single bit of it.
Grammar: 4.5/5. Oh, forgot to mention spelling and stuff factor into the grammar section, whoops 😅. There was just some stuff with capitalization and the like, nothing much.
Battles: 5/5. There's a lot of action and energy and both battles were really fun to follow (and until it's revealed who the more upbeat voice is, I'll keep assuming it's the pegasus because it stuck in my head that way). R.I.P Rin, his ego must've suffered a huge blow from that Burst.

Final Rating: 24.5/5. Awesome chapter, it was tons of fun and the foreshadowing was cool, definitely looking forward to what's coming next!

Yeah, a little bit of a spoiler, but Bellerophon is gonna be the first bey have two avatars being able to speak to the blader as separate entities. Bellerophon is sorta a guide for Batal, wanting to see themselves grow as blader and bey, and encourages Batal in a mentor like manner. Meanwhile, Pegasus is much more laid back and chill, and takes on the role of supporting Batal and encouraging him to break his limits. Sorta like the cheerleader of the trio. 
As for Chen, I actually see a ton of potential in the Lean storyline, and imo it was just executed poorly in Sparking. There will be some parallels, but I am gonna try to improve on his overall storyline and not make him an overpowered mess that just goes “MORE!” And “FUEL MY FLARE” and just wins by screaming and flare. Chen’s far more strategic, and actually applies logic in his battles compared to how Lean just screams and wins.
Episode 5 is gonna bring in the character that everyone is gonna hate a whole lot, tho I’m intending for him to be hated.

I’ve also got one of my discord friends drawing some of the characters, like Batal, Rin, the rest of the major supporting characters, and maybe Densetsu Valt.

Quick question, how do you add on polls to existing threads?