Beyblade - Dragulus ((Beystory))

Poll: Should I Continue This ?

Yes, I would like to read more.
96.00%
24
No, i found it boring and crappy.
4.00%
1
Total: 100% 25 vote(s)
Ok, progress on chapter 2 is good so far, might release it by the end of the week, want to release within chapters.
Galaxy Lynx evolves into Basalt Lynx.
Name - Hyou Pantera
Age - 14
Gender - Male
Hair Colour - Very light brown
Clothing - Red hoodie, black jeans, black hat, red shoes.
Eye Colour - Blue
Blade 1 - Galaxy Lynx CH80MXWF/MWD/MAS(Metal Extreme Wide Flat/Metal Wide Defense/Metal Around Sharp)
Blade 2 (NOT NEEDED) - Basalt Lynx ED145WMJB/MXWF(Wide Metal Jog Ball/ Metal Extreme Wide Flat)
Blade Type/Types - Attack/Defense/Stamina(Galaxy Lynx), Defense/Attack(Basalt Lynx)
Special Attacks - Raging Strike(Galaxy)- Lynx spins in one spot, growing faster and faster. Lynx suddenly moves forward, colliding with the opposing bey, knocking into the air. Lynx continues by getting itself into the air, and slamming it's tip into the opposing bey's face bolt. Lynx slams it into the ground, the face bolt loosened. With the opposing bey stuck, Lynx moves back, and slams into it, making it fall apart.
Silent Charge(Basalt)- Lynx acts as if about to spin out, and when the opponent least expects it, Lynx uses Basalt's weight to charge into the opposing bey, throwing it out of the stadium.
Alignment (Good or Bad) - Bad
Friend or Foe (Of Tyler) - Foe
Other: Galaxy's tip allows it to change types, although it's effectiveness will differ.
(Apr. 12, 2011  12:09 AM)Melo_NY Wrote: Galaxy Lynx evolves into Basalt Lynx.
Name - Hyou Pantera
Age - 14
Gender - Male
Hair Colour - Very light brown
Clothing - Red hoodie, black jeans, black hat, red shoes.
Eye Colour - Blue
Blade 1 - Galaxy Lynx CH80WMF/WD(Wide Metal Flat/Metal Wide Defense)
Blade 2 (NOT NEEDED) - Basalt Lynx ED145WMB/MWF(Wide Metal Ball/ Metal Wide Flat)
Blade Type/Types - Attack/Defense
Special Attacks - Raging Strike(Galaxy)- Lynx spins in one spot, growing faster and faster. Lynx suddenly moves forward, colliding with the opposing bey, knocking into the air. Lynx continues by getting itself into the air, and slamming it's tip into the opposing bey's face bolt. Lynx slams it into the ground, the face bolt loosened. With the opposing bey stuck, Lynx moves back, and slams into it, making it fall apart.
Silent Charge(Basalt)- Lynx acts as if about to spin out, and when the opponent least expects it, Lynx uses Basalt's weight to charge into the opposing bey, throwing it out of the stadium.
Alignment (Good or Bad) - Bad
Friend or Foe (Of Tyler) - Foe

Hey thanks for this, i only need 7 custom char nows ;D
whens the next chap
(Apr. 12, 2011  7:52 AM)Dracovianauis Wrote: whens the next chap

Ill release it today or tommorow night.
This is one great story! Mind a character request? If you don't then I'll give you one.
(Apr. 12, 2011  4:14 PM)Janstarblast Wrote: This is one great story! Mind a character request? If you don't then I'll give you one.

Hey ;D Thanks for the interest, and yeh, request away!
hah, totally interested, it's honestly way better than my story, mine has failed cliffhangers xD, anyways:
name: Glenn Dano
Age: 14
Gender: male
hair color: dark brown
clothing: Square glasses, a baggy white shirt, and jean shorts. He looks plain, but at least he's not over-detailed like the characters in mfb. Tongue_out
eye color: dark brown
Blade: Tetsubo Orso CB125(chain blade) WHF(wide hole flat), need a description? Just pm me, and i'll give you it :3
Blade 2(not needed): none, it's not needed, hah.
Blade type: attack
Special attacks: Tetsubo swing: Orso smashes pretty hard, nuff said!
Metal upper: Orso leans to one side, and attempts to flip the bey over, possible floor scrapes-results in loss of stamina.
Chain dodge: Chain Blade 125 leans over to different sides to avoid major hits, its an attack type though, not much use for this.
Allignment (Good or Bad) -bad
Friend or Foe (Of Tyler) -friend
meh, he's quite the hothead, but he's always good to have around, and he's loyal to who he works for--so long as he gets paid :I
Ok, so here's a character.
Name- Jack Ruso
Age-13
Gender- Male
hair color- Jet black
clothing- similar to Hyoma from MFB.
Beyblade- Multi Warrior C100I (Cannon 100 Invisible) Multi is a powerful attack wheel. It is completely circular, but when viewed with a magnifying glass, it has 50 powerful spikes. These spikes have potential spike attack and have some potential for smash attack too.This Metal Wheel can hold up to 100 metal balls in it. Warrior is a powerful part. It has awesome weight distribution. Cannon is a wide spin track, and has two cannons emerging on opposite sides. These cannons are capable of shooting the metal balls held in the metal wheel. Invisible tip has the gimmick of becoming invisible(only when spinning). This does not contribute to the beyblade's performance in any way. It is a completely flat tip, made up of leather.
Special attack(s)-
21 Guns- The spin track shoots out 21 metal balls at the opponent. This move is highly damaging, and is used mostly at the end of the battle.
Multi hit- This move looks like an ultimate hand-to-hand combat. Some amount of recoil damage. The bey rams into the foe, and starts attacking powerfully on every part, except the face bolt. Very powerful if it hits the performance tip.
Tyler's friend, but loves friendly battles.
His nature is like that of Max from the original beyblade series.
Hmm..Janstarblast your charactar reminds me of something...but anyway, nice story TheBlayder! Better than mine! It is just a pilot chapter and it so good.....Here is my character request! (Pls. read my story and give me some tips please.)

Name: Shuu Fujimoto
Age: 11
Gender: Male. (obviously.)
Hair Color: Black with some streaks of yellow.
Clothing: Shuu always wears a chinese-styled black jacket with a yellow japanese-styled shirt. He also wears a wristband on his right hand. His pants are black jogging pants and his shoes are yellow with blue stripes.
Eye Color: Black.
Blade 1: Kinetic Tiger 90RSF
Blade 2: Robotic Tiger X85RSF (Extreme 85)
Blade Type:Attack/Defense
Special Attacks: For Blade 1: Kinetic Shredder- - Kinetic Tiger will charge towards the opponent's bey and then Kinetic Tiger, using the spikes on the metal wheel, will shred the opposing bey's metal wheel causing a lot of damage and loss of spin.
Dynamic Smash- Kinetic Tiger will jumps high into the air. Then it will dive into the opposing Bey and smash it. This will cause a large loss of spin or insta-KO the other Bey.
For Blade 2: Robotic Overdrive: Robotic Tiger will charge itself with electric energy, Then it will charge towards the opponent's Bey. It hits with a tackle with electric energy. (Volt Tackle reference)
Multiply Barrage: Robotic Tiger will multiply itself. Then there will be 10 Robotic Tigers. 5 of them will launch the other Bey into the air. Then another 2 will throw the opponent's Bey higher. 2 copies will smash it towards the ground and the real one will charge toward the falling Bey with full force and smash it in the stadium. This will insta-KO the opponent's Bey or if not, it will lose a HUGE (As in HUGE!) amount of spin.
Alignment: Good
Foe or Friend: Could it be rivals? Like Ginga and Kyouya? If not, make them as friends.
Please suggest or give me tips on my story.
(Apr. 13, 2011  12:35 PM)BeybladerPotter Wrote: Hmm..Janstarblast your charactar reminds me of something...but anyway, nice story TheBlayder! Better than mine! It is just a pilot chapter and it so good.....Here is my character request! (Pls. read my story and give me some tips please.)

Sorry, I didn't get your point. Is it already suggested? The name of the beyblade or character might be similar to some other story, but that might be co incidence. How I decided the chaaracter-
Jack is common. Ruso, The last name of main character of Wizards of Waverly Place. Beyblade- LLD mode Multi hit; and Warrior is common.
Special atks Multi hit mode of LLD and 21 Guns salute.
That is what I'm looking for! Yes, Ruso sounded so familiar to me..Anyway, no I haven't heard it from another story.
wow, loads of replys! thanks for the chars.
Your great story has hit MILLIONS!!!!Keep it up!Always PM me if you want more custom characters![/align]
ok im from indonesian and i like your story here my custom
Name -Raitei Tachibana The Einherjar
Age -11
Gender -male
Hair Colour -black
Clothing -a yellow shirt and black knee-length shorts
Eye Colour -dark brown
Blade 1 - Hybrid Gungnir D125 WB
Blade 2 - Holy Gungnir
Blade Type/Types -Hybrid Gungnir Ultimate Defend/Holy Gungnir Incredible Defend
Special Attacks -Defend Hybrid Sistem (Ultimate Defence Power)
Lightning Lance
Allignment (Good or Bad) -Good
Friend or Foe (Of Tyler) -Friend teammate
his nature like Ray
woah guys, been busy but should be uploading all of chapter 2 this week, i dont like it as much as chapter 1 but it will have to do.
(Apr. 18, 2011  7:30 PM)TheBlayder Wrote: woah guys, been busy but should be uploading all of chapter 2 this week, i dont like it as much as chapter 1 but it will have to do.

can't wait, sure it'll be great, even if it isn't as good as chapter 1--that 1 chapter was just absolutely amazing, so a good second chapter is awesome too
Do you still need characters? If so:

Name: Mariko Sasaki
Age: 11
Gender: Female
Alignment: Neutral
Friend or Foe (Of Tyler) - Foe, but only competition wise

Beyblade: Burn Corus 125RC (Rubber Core)
Facebolt: A Flaming, Black Crow

Beyblade Description:
-The Burn Wheel is painted Red
-The Corus wheel yellow and resembles Pegasis, but with less wings that are more jagged.
-125 is yellow
-RC is a flat, plastic tip with a rubber core for attack power, but not too much.
-It is a Stamina type

Character Description: Mariko has medium length, brown hair. She has tanned skin and green eyes. She is 4"7. She wears a dark gray hoodie with the "B" Beyblade logo (like the one in Ginga's bey case) and tan colored capris. She has red high top sneakers and a brown belt on her waist that holds her launcher and beyblade. Her grip is orange, with a Black Beypointer, which has 7310 points. She has a red light launcher.

Personality: She is loudmouthed and over confident. When she loses, she gets back up and keeps trying. Her Beyblade has a lot of potential, but she doesn't use it properly. Instead of using a strategy that suits her bey (extending the battle for Stamina types), she uses whichever she feels like, which ultimately brings her downfall very often. She is a one-man team, recruiting potential bladers, but they never join.

Special Moves:
Flaming Talon Strike- Her Beyblade changes to an attack type movement due to the half-rubber tip. This confuses opponents since they never knew they were battling an attack type. Not perfected.
Now, that's an actual story, not one of those pathetic 10 lines long "chapters"

The story itself is nothing great, but good enough. I encourage you to keep writting and doing an effort, unlike most other writers here.

EDIT: I could give you a character request, but I don't encourage that carp. Keep going, though.
(Apr. 18, 2011  8:17 PM)Dude Wrote: Now, that's an actual story, not one of those pathetic 10 lines long "chapters"

The story itself is nothing great, but good enough. I encourage you to keep writting and doing an effort, unlike most other writers here.

EDIT: I could give you a character request, but I don't encourage that carp. Keep going, though.

I feel really un-appreciated now
haha, you guys rock. guess what ive got here? chapter 2!

Chapter 2 – A New Beginning

It was a new day for Tyler; he had gone home to relax, with some time to think about what his next steps should be. Tyler’s favourite place to go and relax was the forest. Thankfully on this day it was dry, if not a little humid. The leaves crunched beneath his trainers and twigs cracked loudly under his step. Usually his shoes would sink in the mud which felt like walking on sponge. He was going to make the most of today and he had a feeling the day was going to make the most of him too. Tyler sat down beside one of the large trees and pulled his beyblade out of his trouser pocket. “What should I do with you…” whispered Tyler as he gazed at Galaxy Dragulus. It was hard to remember what had happened the past few days, but Tyler was glad since most of the memories hadn’t been good ones. Tyler stood up and started walking towards the WBBA Headquarters to see if he could use one of their special blade level stations to see how strong his blade really was. He arrived at the door and then walked inside. “Excuse me, this is private access only, please leave” exclaimed the Secretary. “Oh sorry, do you have one of those machines that can calculate a blades power?” said Tyler excitedly. “Well, it is private access to WBBA bladers but, if you don’t tell anyone I’ll let you in” whispered the Secretary. Tyler followed the woman through the building until they reached a large, metal door.

The woman typed in the security code and walked through. “Wow, this is amazing” said Tyler. “Yes, I hear that a lot. It’s just been upgraded too” Tyler walked down the stairs and placed his blade into the slot. “Ok, I can read your stats and if your blade is damaged, or could be upgraded in any way this will do the trick” said the secretary as she pulled the lever. The machine buzzed and hummed as tests were carried out. When the machine had stopped the screen read ‘Blade Attack - HIGH, Blade Defence - HIGH, Blade Stamina - MAX, Blade Condition - Worn, Blade Upgrade Available –Yes’. “Sorry, I don’t think the new upgrade is working, your stats can’t be that high” exclaimed the secretary. “No, I believe they are correct, now can I upgrade my blade?” said Tyler happily.

“Your stats could never be that high, they are the same stats as a world champion, but if you insist I‘ll see what upgrades can be made” said the woman angrily. She pulled the lever again and the machine set off, it only took a few minutes for the machine to fix up Tyler’s blade when the stats suddenly popped up on the screen. It read ‘Blade Attack – MAX, Blade Defence - MAX, Blade Stamina – MAX, Blade Condition – Excellent, Blade Upgrade Complete’. “What? That’s impossible! No one’s blade could possibly be that strong! I will have to tell the boss, he will want to see you” shouted the woman whilst she ran off. Tyler smirked as the machine had proved his blades strength. Tyler was leaving the room when suddenly he bumped into a tall man. “So you must be this Tyler I’ve just been told about, could you please show me your blade?” Tyler showed the man Dragulus and he was shocked. “I believe that is the legendary blade Galaxy Dragulus, how did you come to obtain such a thing?” exclaimed the man. “Well, I won’t go into detail but it was a present from someone” said Tyler whilst chuckling. “Well, that doesn’t matter much, but now we need to find out if you possess any potential as a blader, please follow me to the battle room”

Tyler followed the man into the battle room and went to sit in one of the seats. “Don’t sit down, we need you to battle” alerted the man. Tyler walked over the stadium and got out his beyblade. “Your first opponent will be Chygrovski Faddell!” announced the man. Suddenly the buzzing sound of a machine started and a character appeared on the opposite side of the stadium. Tyler was shocked, he recognised this man. “Tyler! Remember me? My leader beat you a little while ago! Do not worry though, you will meet him soon! Hahaha!” said Chygrovski. That was it! He was one of the mysterious three bladers that he had met when he had gotten his first beyblade. “I remember you! You were the one who stood on my beyblade!” shouted Tyler. “Oh yes, what a shame, now instead of crushing your beyblade I will crush you!” said Chygrovski. “3, 2, 1, Let It Rip!” Tyler pulled his ripcord with immense strength and it flew into the stadium. Chygrovski’s blade was Dark Boarus, a balance type blade. Tyler could already feel the power building up within him but he tried to ignore it and attack normally. Dark Boarus and Galaxy Dragulus collided in the stadium with tremendous force. “Haha! You have improved, but not enough!” Dark Boarus went on the offense and started smashing into Galaxy Dragulus with brute strength. “Haha! You are nowhere near strong enough to face me or my boss!” exclaimed Chygrovski. Suddenly it hit Tyler, he was extremely powerful, but by holding back and not using his special attacks he couldn’t release his full potential and beat the hardest of enemies. Tyler’s only chance of getting back into the fight was by using his special attacks. “SPECIAL ATTACK DRAGULUS! COMET DRAGON BLAST!” Galaxy Dragulus flew up into the air and touched the roof. “What? How did you do that!” exclaimed Chygrovski. “Well, I’ve improved a lot since I met you last, and I’ve gained a lot more power! GO DRAGULUS!” Galaxy Dragulus came soaring down from the roof and collided into Dark Boarus with great power and speed. Chygrovski was stunned by this sudden attack. His beyblade fell beside him as he looked in awe at Tyler.

“What just happened? No beyblade can possess such strength!” said Chygrovski. “Ev… Even if you can beat me you can’t possibly beat the rest of us!” Tyler picked up Galaxy Dragulus from the beyblade stadium. “I can only dream” said Tyler whilst smirking. “OK! You’re next two opponents will be Kevin Gallant and the number one regional champion Kai Macedon!” Bright lights started flashing in front of Tyler and suddenly he was surrounded by a a full audience a beyblading fans. From the opposite side of the room Kevin and Kai emerged from one of the gates. “Long time no see little boy! I knew you would be ready some day!” Shouted Kai. “I swore revenge on you that day, and today I will get it!” exclaimed Tyler.

Tyler, Kai and Kevin readied up their beyblade’s for battle “Are you ready? 3, 2, 1 Let It…” Suddenly there was a large crash through the ceiling. A helicopter appeared from the sky and hovered over the stadium. The helicopters door opened and a figure appeared to be leaning out. “Hello there bladers! That last battle was great!” shouted the figure from above. “I think it is the perfect time to announce that tomorrow, in the plaza there will be a tourney held there for bladers such as yourselves” Tyler looked up at the figure in the helicopter. “What do you mean like us?” shouted Tyler. The figure laughed. “It’s pretty simple really, just come along. I’ll be waiting for you!” The helicopter rose back into the sky and flew off. “Well, that was random” said Tyler under his breath. “Ok! Let’s continue with the battle! I want to beat you again!” said Kai confidently. “3, 2, 1 Let It Rip!” All three blades landed directly in the centre of the stadium and collided. “I see you can keep up with us Tyler!” said Kevin. “I can do much more than that! Go Dragulus Space Collision!” Galaxy Dragulus flew up into the air and then fell directly towards Kevin’s blade with great momentum. “I don’t go down that easily!” said Kevin whilst trying to avoid Tyler’s attack. Kevin’s blade was a special defence type blade called Sea Gyranus. Suddenly Sea Gyranus moved out of the way of Galaxy Dragulus’ attack and it slammed into the stadium. Kai’s blade came up from behind Galaxy Dragulus and got a few powerful attacks in. Kai’s blade was an Attack type blade called Rock Bearal; it has a high attack rate but an extremely low stamina rate. Tyler knew that if he wanted to win this fight he needed to use his special move before he lost too much stamina.

Suddenly Tyler saw an opening and made his move. “GO DRAGULUS! EXPLODING BLACK HOLE!” shouted Tyler. Suddenly Dragulus jumped up into the air and readied its self for its special move when Kai’s blade followed it. “COME ON BEARAL! INFINITY CLAW SLASH!” screamed Kai towards his beyblade. Kai’s blade collided into Galaxy Dragulus and knocked it off balance and it started heading towards the stadium whilst rapidly being attacked. “Go Gyranus! Tsunami Power Strike!” shouted Kevin. Galaxy Dragulus was plummeting towards the stadium at great speed with Rock Bearal following closely behind it, and Sea Gyranus was flying upwards with great momentum. Tyler thought he couldn’t win until suddenly he saw it. “Dodge him Dragulus!” Suddenly Galaxy Dragulus gained balance again and moved to the right. Kai and Kevin’s blades collided with great power and a shockwave rippled through the stadium. “Wha?!” shouted Kai in amazement. “What just happened?” The shockwave vanished and Kai and Kevin’s blades were lying in the middle of the stadium motionless. “It’s a tie!” shouted Kevin. “I think you have miscalculated that, look over there!” said Tyler whilst pointing over to the edge of the stadium. Galaxy Dragulus was right at the edge of the stadium still spinning well. “It seems we have a winner, well done Tyler. You have proved to me a lot by winning here today” said the Boss as he walked over to Tyler. “That’s unfair! How did he do that?” shouted Kai to the Boss. “He noticed an opening and used it to his advantage, what seems like a disadvantage is generally an advantage but you just don’t know it. Tyler picked up Galaxy Dragulus and smiled. “I’m finally getting the hang of you” whispered Tyler to himself. The boss started walking away then suddenly turned around and looked at Tyler. “Oh and before I go, come to my house tonight and I will treat you to a banquet as a congratulations, I need to discuss things with you.” announced the boss. “Will do” replied Tyler.
feedback ftw!
hah, okay, the chapter was great--glad he got the people back, seemed like the right thing to do. Can't wait for chapter 3 Tongue_out
(Apr. 19, 2011  4:52 PM)Soopah Wrote: hah, okay, the chapter was great--glad he got the people back, seemed like the right thing to do. Can't wait for chapter 3 Tongue_out

thanks, you have got to admit it wasnt as good as chapter 1 Tongue_out_wink but, ive got a good plot in mind for not only chapter 3 but later ones, and i think i already have an ending thought out!
Chapter was good. Will chapter 3 be up soon?