Another version of The Tribe.
Chapter 1: The Begginning after the End [

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My tribe will be the Chosen Demons but so far nothing good has happened, my brother Jake has abandoned me to be the leader of the Bloodshots. But now he's dead. I've got three people with me, Ben, Curtis and Jackson. Our tribe is pretty sucky. Nowhere to live is our problem always on the run hiding fighting doing everything to stay alive. Parents are gone for good, kids rule, we are all going to suffer. “ Edan, Blood shots ” yelled Ben our watch guard. “ Jesus lets get outta here ” yelled Jackson the slowest out of us. “ Jackson you hide we run ” I said. “ Hurry up ” shouted Curtis. “ Too late, sprint! ” reported Ben. Ben, Curtis and I were running for our lives. We'll never out run them, their in a car. This the point where I come up with an idea but I don't have one. I have matches but that's to keep us warm. Oh by the way I'm Edan my skill, kinda smart, but mostly a fighter and I can cook, I have wavy black dyed hair and wear a t-shirt that said I'm awesome and your not, at this moment I wasn't feeling awesome. Ben our watch guard he tells us if he see's other tribes. Ben has spiky black hair and wears a green tee Ben is also a fighter with me. He's the oldest, Curtis is second oldest, Jackson's third, I'm (unfortunately) the youngest, . Jackson's skill is, well nothing really he's the “ I think I'm so tough” kinda guy, he is a little chubby, has a uh bad hairdo and wears a black tee. Mainly he helps with the cooking. Curtis he is the one who mainly tries to get supplies but has to be escorted by me or Ben, he has brown hair which is matted and wears a yellow tee. So that's us. While we were running from the Bloodshots I collided with two kids about my age to Ben's (10-13). A girl and a boy. “Who are you?” Curtis asked. “ No time to explain ” the boy said “ Hell Hounds heading this way! ” “ Great, we've got Blood shots heading this way ” I said. “ Good they'll fight while we get outta here ” said the girl. “ This way ” Ben said..... When we got back Jackson had his arms folded. “ You took your time ”. “ Sorry ran into these two ” I said. “ By the way, Ben started what are your names? ” “ Oh ” said the girl. “ I'm Rose that's Andrew ”. “ Hi ” said Andrew. “ Just out of the blue, have you ever thought of starting a tribe? ” Jackson asked. “ Yeah but everybody is too scared ” said Rose. “ Um, but what about us? ” I said. “ You could be useful ”. “ What for? ” asked Andrew. “ You and Rose could sneak around and find out what the word on the street is, I'll come to help, and Andrew you can help me with the defense or help Ben out with the watch guard ”. “ Gee thanks ” said Rose. She yawned, it is getting late. “ I saw a giant shopping centre a couple kilometers away, could we go there? ” asked Andrew. “ We might be able to ” started Curtis. “ But we might run into other tribes like Blood shots ”. “ Speaking of which ” said Ben with a worried face. “ Blood shots again and this time they've seen me! ” “ Danger prone Ben has done it again ” said Jackson. “ Shut up both of you, we all have to run now even you Jackson ” I said frustrated. “ We'll have to go to the shops ” Rose said. Curtis started “ Who cares where we go, we've gotta get out- ” He was cut off by Ben. “ Run you idiots! ” yelled Ben. We all ran for our lives even Jackson. We were running as fast as we could. After a while running we saw it.

Chapter 2: A New Home

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“ There it is ” shouted Andrew. “ Just there ” he said pointing.
“ Yeah but the Blood shots are on our heels said Jackson ”.
“ If we run into the mall they'll know where we are ” said Rose. I looked at the shop, its name was Fruit Store.
“ Yuck ” I said sticking my finger down my throat. We were still running then Jackson tripped over. He landed with a thud.
“ Help me! ” he screamed. I started to turn back when Andrew grabbed me. “ What are you doing! ” I yelled. “ He has to take his chances ” said Andrew.
They all dragged me back.
“ I'm sorry ” I yell.
The car stops, two of them pickup Jackson and their new leader hops out and starts throwing punches at Jackson.
We ran to the store. We hid from the Bloodshots.
They've lost us. I watched as they all started to attack Jackson like a vicious pack of dogs. They got back in their car and drove away congratulating their leader.
I looked at Jackson on the ground. I run straight to Jackson. Andrew felt his pulse.
“He's still alive just knocked out” Andrew said.
Who was that? Rose thought.
“Guys help me pick him up” I said. We all lifted him up. Oh god he's heavy.
“The main thing is he's alive” I said.
We carried him to the mall. We had just entered when four people jumped out with sticks.
We all dropped Jackson and put our fists up ready for a fight. One of them started walking down the stairs.
“Who are you!” he bellowed. “Are you part of the Bloodshots or Hell Hounds?”
“No we are, well were not a tribe we are trying to run” Ben replied
“From who?” he asked “EVERYBODY!!” we all shouted.
He nodded “What's up with your friend?”
“He was knocked unconscious” said Ben.
Then everybody started talking at once I wasn't paying attention I was studying their leader I looked into his eyes and knew who exactly who it was.

Chapter 3 The Annoying Little Brat

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“Kyle!” As soon as I yelled that there was silence.
The only noise that could be heard was Jackson groaning and starting to get up. Kyle took off his mask.
“Well it took ya long enough”.
Everybody started to take their masks off as I looked at them I started to remember all of them. Tom, Ryan, Jason, Lachlan, Ricky and.. WAIT A MINUTE!
“Ricky" I said surprised. "Do you even know Kyle?”
She didn't answer. Jason, Lachlan OK I'm not surprised Jason ended up here but Lachlan! I turned back to Kyle.
“You accepted Lachlan?” "Well he had food" Kyle said.
I didn't care I didn't like Lachlan very much. Kyle started to tell me more stuff but I glanced and saw Ricky starting to walk up the stairs.
Ricky was already half way up the stairs when I grabbed her arm.
“How did you end up here?” Again she didn't answer instead she shoved down the stairs.
“Ohhhh” I groaned. “A simple get lost would have been fine” I yelled back to her.
She ignored me and went into some room.
Finally Jackson got up and looked around, he looked so shocked when he saw Kyle and everybody.
“Looks like I missed a lot” he said. I walked over to him and shove him to the ground. “What?!”..........
It was about 7 P.M, I was on the roof of the centre sitting there watching the sun set, I heard someone come up behind me, I was hoping it was Ricky but I couldn't be bothered to turn around.
“Hey” the voice said and I knew who it was, Jason.
“Hey” I replied.“Long time no see eh?” he said.
“Yeah, ever since the day we were split in a fight with the Hell Hounds. So how did you guys get together again?” I asked.
“Well we were captured and kept prisoner and well Tom got away and Ricky wouldn't go anywhere without Tom so she escaped as well, then eventually they got bored with torturing us and left us to die, and eventually these people came up to us and started pegging rocks and sticks at us so we all caught them and returned the favor, they started to run away but Kyle tricked them into letting us out so we threw them in the cage and put a crate in front of the door so they couldn't get out. So we were grateful for Kyle and he said we should start a tribe but he's the tribe leader, we were grateful so we did make him our leader and-,”
I couldn't hear him after a giant crash.
“What the hell!” I screamed, Jason and I ran off the roof to see what it was and in my mind I guessed what it was....
And I guessed correctly, everybody holding Jackson back and Lachlan with a smirk on his face.
“I'll kill you!” he was screaming. “I'll kill you!”
That's when I noticed he pushed Ryan down and slipped through and started sprinting to Lachlan but I beat him to it and I tackled Jackson to the ground.
“What are you doing!” he screamed. “You hate Lachlan”.
“Yeah doesn't mean we have to bash him” I replied. “
The reason you couldn't catch me was that you're to fat”. Lachlan laughed at his little joke.
“That's the last straw” I said. I got off Jackson and shoulder-barged Lachlan. He was crutched over in pain. Everybody went over to see if he was ok I just walked over to Jackson to see him and he was crutched over as well... laughing.
“OMG he totally had that coming!” He laughed more and finally Ricky came over. She shoved me. “
This is just what we need isn't it!” She yelled in my face.
“This ain't gonna help me to like you more”.
“What are you talking about?” I said dumbfounded. I had really no idea what she was saying.
“Don't you remember the day when we were split apart? The day where we were captured?”
“Oh my god I can't believe your bringing that up, look I was protecting you then I saw Curtis in trouble so I ran over to him, the whole tribe doesn't revolve around you!”
“Well while we're fighting them you ran off”.
“I didn't run off!" I protested. "I was injured, those three dragged me off and by the time they got back you were gone”.
“Ooh you fended of a couple of Hell Hounds I'm so impressed” she said in a sarcastic voice. “
Well your the one that was captured by them I mean how the hell does that happen?” I replied.

These are based on real people and some are fake.... But most of them are real....

its ok... the length is okay but you have a few grammatical errors and try add more punctuation as its missing some full stops, commas and such.

Pretty average story but if you work on it i reckon it'll be good. Good Luck!

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"What is peace, if not an illusion of war?" - Bunnii2165

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Wow, now paragraphs, when I first looked, it began to hurt my eyes. wasn't even able to read story. Might wan't to work on that

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I'm open for a sig challenge anytime and sig by me!

i know this is goin to sound stupid, but thats my editor's fault. He's my best friend and he's editing my storys, oh and i already done 15 pages of that story.

2nd chapter out now!! I hav put paragraphs in it now.

It's good but you need to describe more, I feel like there's more you should tell me about the scene, either way though, good story.

You'll here a bit more about the scenery in chapter 3, which will be out 2moz!!

* sigh * nobody reads my story anymore. Chapter 3 will be out this arvo....

yay Chap 3 out, I wish som of u would read it, its not a beystory, so wat, there is hardly any beyblade books but ya still read others