BeyStory: Into The Furnace GIVEAWAY IN PROGRESS IN OP

Poll: Do you like this story?

I LOVED IT
61.11%
22
It was good
22.22%
8
meh
11.11%
4
story, what story
5.56%
2
Total: 100% 36 vote(s)
hi guys, i'm making a new story.
your opinions and ideas are welcome.
SO here it is...


Chapter 1:
Chapter 2:
Chapter 3:
Chapter 4:
Chapter 5:
Chapter 6:
Chapter 7-
Chapter 8:
Chapter 9:
Chapter 10:
Chapter 11:
Chapter 12:
Chapter 13:
Chapter 14:
Chapter 15:
Chapter 16:
If you want to be updated... Just ask and ill PM you when I release a new chapter and you'll get free spoilers (if you want)

Character Suggestion Form

Name:
Beyblade:
Special Move:
Personality:
Bey Explanation: (explain every piece)
Character Description:
If you just have a new idea for a bey just fill in the appropriate stuff and visa versa.

Thanks to anyone with this story in their sig. It's helped soooo much.

ATTENTION

The winner of the contest is...
DeX with Vanessa Galeria
do you know when you have time to write chapter 2?
(May. 08, 2011  7:07 AM)Jackyboy9344 Wrote: do you know when you have time to write chapter 2?

soon i hope
u wanna help
i could use some characters and new bey names
Character Profiles

Name: ME(Dylan)
Beyblade: Hunt Orion Spring100 RubberFlat
Special Move: Arrow Strike
Personality: Kind, Strong, Sensitive, Funny, Curious and BRAVE.

Name: Figure 2 (Real Name Unknown)
Beyblade: Overlord Fornox DeStabilizer145 FullBall
Special Move: ???
Personality: EVIL

Name: Cold Fire Guy
Beyblade: Something Orange
Special Move: ???
Personality: Mysterious

I'll post new character profile after every chapter
Here is the template for character requests

Name:
Beyblade:
Special Move:
Personality:
Bey Explanation: (explain every piece)
Character Description:

If you just have a new idea for a bey just fill in the appropriate stuff and visa versa.
Name:domarko
Beyblade:Hellios infernios 85 hf
Special Move:blazing heat!
Personality:depends on the situation
Bey Explanation:facebolt has flame with a Pharaoh coming from the middle
clear wheel orange
metalwheel fairly similar to sol blaze's metal wheel
track:85
bottom:hole flat
(May. 08, 2011  1:00 PM)Poison pegasus Wrote: Name:domarko
Beyblade:Hellios infernios 85 hf
Special Move:blazing heat!
Personality:depends on the situation
Bey Explanation:facebolt has flame with a Pharaoh coming from the middle
clear wheel orange
metalwheel fairly similar to sol blaze's metal wheel
track:85
bottom:hole flat

thanks. you're awesome i'll add it as soon as I can
meanwhile here's Chapter 2

Chapter 2- So You're Dead Now


The first thing I saw was a girl looking over me worriedly. I tried to get up, but my I felt a pain in my chest as soon as I got upright and groaned back down to the bed. The bed I was on was soft and warm. I looked up at the girl at my side. She had long blonde hair flowing down her back like a comet. Her eyes were blue like water.
“Are you okay?” asked the girl. “I was so worried.”
“Who are you? Where am I?” I questioned
“Well, I’m Claire. You’re in my house. You were badly hurt from that Beybattle and when I saw you, I took you in and healed you.”She put her hand on my chest. “You’ll be fine.” A few minutes later, I fell asleep again.

The dream started off with the guy who almost killed me and someone I’d never seen before in a dark room. The new person was tied to a chair.
“What kind of monster are you?” the person in the chair cried
“Ha, I’m Mephiles, personal servant of the Cold Fire,” he chuckled, “and you are my hostage.”Mephiles had the same mark on his hand. It seemed like a blurry vision, not something in the present but the past... or future. Then my vision shifted. I was in an old-fashioned room from about twelve years ago. I saw a younger version of Claire: happy and with her family. Then it all went wrong. Ghosts appeared in a flash of light. I saw Mephiles leading the crowd. A thousand Beyblades were launched at once at her parents and siblings. They were soon dead. Mephiles launched his orange and black bey at young Claire. She flinched in horror. Then a figure appeared and stopped the bey with his hand. He wore a black vest, a dark red cloak/cape, and dark blue jeans. He was sixteen.
“We must keep the girl, Mephiles.” He bellowed.
“Ye-yes my Lord Helios.” Mephiles muttered. Then the ghosts left in a puff of smoke.

I awoke once again. Claire was reading a book. The language was different, but she was really into it. She realised I was awake. Then I remembered the.
“Where are your parents?” I requested. She hesitated. “Don’t answer if you don’t want to.”
“No, you’re my friend. My-” she paused again. “My only friend.” I felt for her. I wasn’t too popular at school either. “My parents died when I was young. I had to live in solitude my entire life.” I put my hand on her back to calm her.
“Anyway I guess you’ll be going.” She mumbled as a tear fell down her cheek. She looked at the bey on her desk: Psychic Cygnus W185 SD.
“You can come with me if you want.” I offered. I soon had a new Beyblade partner and she seemed happier than ever. We moved onto the streets, searching for Mephiles. I was putting her in even more danger than ever.
An addition to the old profiles

Character Profiles

Name: ME(Dylan)
Beyblade: Hunt Orion Spring100 RubberFlat
Special Move: Arrow Strike
Personality: Kind, Strong, Sensitive, Funny, Curious and BRAVE.

Name: Helios
Beyblade: Overlord Fornox DeStabilizer145 FullBall
Special Move: ???
Personality: EVIL, Kingly, Strong

Name: Mephiles
Beyblade: Orange and black colour bey
Special Move: ???
Personality: Mysterious

Name: Claire
Beyblade: Psychic Cygnus Wall185 SemiDefense
Special Move: ???
Personality: Generous, sensitive, lonely
A spoiler for you

I need a character (without a bey). a good guy
I need a bey. has to have aquilla/eagle
(May. 08, 2011  1:27 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote:
(May. 08, 2011  1:00 PM)Poison pegasus Wrote: Name:domarko
Beyblade:Hellios infernios 85 hf
Special Move:blazing heat!
Personality:depends on the situation
Bey Explanation:facebolt has flame with a Pharaoh coming from the middle
clear wheel orange
metalwheel fairly similar to sol blaze's metal wheel
track:85
bottom:hole flat

thanks. you're awesome i'll add it as soon as I can
meanwhile here's Chapter 2

Chapter 2- So You're Dead Now


The first thing I saw was a girl looking over me worriedly. I tried to get up, but my I felt a pain in my chest as soon as I got upright and groaned back down to the bed. The bed I was on was soft and warm. I looked up at the girl at my side. She had long blonde hair flowing down her back like a comet. Her eyes were blue like water.
“Are you okay?” asked the girl. “I was so worried.”
“Who are you? Where am I?” I questioned
“Well, I’m Claire. You’re in my house. You were badly hurt from that Beybattle and when I saw you, I took you in and healed you.”She put her hand on my chest. “You’ll be fine.” A few minutes later, I fell asleep again.

The dream started off with the guy who almost killed me and someone I’d never seen before in a dark room. The new person was tied to a chair.
“What kind of monster are you?” the person in the chair cried
“Ha, I’m Mephiles, personal servant of the Cold Fire,” he chuckled, “and you are my hostage.”Mephiles had the same mark on his hand. It seemed like a blurry vision, not something in the present but the past... or future. Then my vision shifted. I was in an old-fashioned room from about twelve years ago. I saw a younger version of Claire: happy and with her family. Then it all went wrong. Ghosts appeared in a flash of light. I saw Mephiles leading the crowd. A thousand Beyblades were launched at once at her parents and siblings. They were soon dead. Mephiles launched his orange and black bey at young Claire. She flinched in horror. Then a figure appeared and stopped the bey with his hand. He wore a black vest, a dark red cloak/cape, and dark blue jeans. He was sixteen.
“We must keep the girl, Mephiles.” He bellowed.
“Ye-yes my Lord Helios.” Mephiles muttered. Then the ghosts left in a puff of smoke.

I awoke once again. Claire was reading a book. The language was different, but she was really into it. She realised I was awake. Then I remembered the.
“Where are your parents?” I requested. She hesitated. “Don’t answer if you don’t want to.”
“No, you’re my friend. My-” she paused again. “My only friend.” I felt for her. I wasn’t too popular at school either. “My parents died when I was young. I had to live in solitude my entire life.” I put my hand on her back to calm her.
“Anyway I guess you’ll be going.” She mumbled as a tear fell down her cheek. She looked at the bey on her desk: Psychic Cygnus W185 SD.
“You can come with me if you want.” I offered. I soon had a new Beyblade partner and she seemed happier than ever. We moved onto the streets, searching for Mephiles. I was putting her in even more danger than ever.
An addition to the old profiles

Character Profiles

Name: ME(Dylan)
Beyblade: Hunt Orion Spring100 RubberFlat
Special Move: Arrow Strike
Personality: Kind, Strong, Sensitive, Funny, Curious and BRAVE.

Name: Helios
Beyblade: Overlord Fornox DeStabilizer145 FullBall
Special Move: ???
Personality: EVIL, Kingly, Strong

Name: Mephiles
Beyblade: Orange and black colour bey
Special Move: ???
Personality: Mysterious

Name: Claire
Beyblade: Psychic Cygnus Wall185 SemiDefense
Special Move: ???
Personality: Generous, sensitive, lonely
A spoiler for you

I need a character (without a bey). a good guy

No problem,Keep up the awesome work!I will keep reading your stories everytime you release a chapter Grin!
gee thanks. your now subscibed. i'll PM you when I release a new chapter
Name:Izara
Beyblade:Burning Aquila/Eagle MadConfusedtrike/90 EternalMetalSharp
Special move:Burning Claw Smash
PersonalityConfusedhy,Very kind and is a very strong Blader(Good Guy)
Age:14
Gender:Female

And can you also PM me when a New Chapter comes out because i LOVE your Storys?
(and by the way ch.2 was awesome!)
Name:Kadel
Beyblade:Blind Kalzor 80 XtremeHoleFlat
Special move:Invisible Strike
Personaity:Cool,Creative but not that good in Beybladeing(he lost 70% of his BeyBattles(Good Guy))
Age:15
Gender:Male

and if you have any more Story Ideas you can PM me and i can help you
(May. 08, 2011  5:59 PM)bladeruler Wrote: nice story loved it
should I pm you when I release a chapter

Tee hee i've got some fans

oh and thanks jackyboy ill PM you if i need help (not likely) XD

By the way feel free to post your predidtions
(May. 08, 2011  6:13 PM)Jackyboy9344 Wrote: Name:Izara
Beyblade:Burning Aquila/Eagle MadConfusedtrike/90 EternalMetalSharp
Special move:Burning Claw Smash
PersonalityConfusedhy,Very kind and is a very strong Blader(Good Guy)
Age:19
Gender:Female

And can you also PM me when a New Chapter comes out because i LOVE your Storys?
(and by the way ch.2 was awesome!)

sorry izara can't be 19 but your other could be 15. i mean I am(in the story)
(May. 09, 2011  5:34 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote:
(May. 08, 2011  6:13 PM)Jackyboy9344 Wrote: Name:Izara
Beyblade:Burning Aquila/Eagle MadConfusedtrike/90 EternalMetalSharp
Special move:Burning Claw Smash
PersonalityConfusedhy,Very kind and is a very strong Blader(Good Guy)
Age:19
Gender:Female

And can you also PM me when a New Chapter comes out because i LOVE your Storys?
(and by the way ch.2 was awesome!)

sorry izara can't be 19 but your other could be 15. i mean I am(in the story)

is it ok if shes 14?
(May. 09, 2011  9:13 PM)Jackyboy9344 Wrote:
(May. 09, 2011  5:34 PM)sonicsora123 Wrote:
(May. 08, 2011  6:13 PM)Jackyboy9344 Wrote: Name:Izara
Beyblade:Burning Aquila/Eagle MadConfusedtrike/90 EternalMetalSharp
Special move:Burning Claw Smash
PersonalityConfusedhy,Very kind and is a very strong Blader(Good Guy)
Age:19
Gender:Female

And can you also PM me when a New Chapter comes out because i LOVE your Storys?
(and by the way ch.2 was awesome!)

sorry izara can't be 19 but your other could be 15. i mean I am(in the story)

is it ok if shes 14?

yeah i can do 14
Thanks for the update PMs sonicsora

If you need another character:

Name:Yaron
Beyblade:Aura Shinika
Special Move:Aura blast/Aura explosion!
Personality:Kind,helpful,eager to everything.
Gender:male
(May. 10, 2011  5:18 PM)Poison pegasus Wrote: Thanks for the update PMs sonicsora

If you need another character:

Name:Yaron
Beyblade:Aura Shinika
Special Move:Aura blast/Aura explosion!
Personality:Kind,helpful,eager to everything.
Gender:male

omgeeeeee
i NEED this guy
sorry guys. i can't release chapter 3 until I get some more fans and posters (even bad ones). If I release it now, barely anyone will read all 3. if i get 3 or 4 more posters then I can post more
sorry for any inconveniece
ive started four.
pls post when you read
It's good. Very solid. I only wish your story would be less choppy and...flow better. Try to work on some character development. What is he like? How does he act? By putting these subtle details into your story, it will enhance it's effect.

All in all, better than a lot of what I've seen.
(May. 12, 2011  3:01 AM)Sparta Wrote: It's good. Very solid. I only wish your story would be less choppy and...flow better. Try to work on some character development. What is he like? How does he act? By putting these subtle details into your story, it will enhance it's effect.

All in all, better than a lot of what I've seen.

thanks
i'll try to do this in the other chapters
im sooo sorry for he wait. i promise i'll post soon.
in the meantime id like to hear your predictions
another thanks to sparta
instead of looking for the chapters throughout the thread i will put them on the OP through spoilers
i will use all characters (unless i say otherwise)