A throw of the dice [story]

Poll: How good is the story?

Amazing
50.00%
11
Good
31.82%
7
It's ok
9.09%
2
Bad
9.09%
2
Appalling
0%
0
Total: 100% 22 vote(s)
[/size]Please post what you think of it below! and enrol in the poll.

Prologue:

Gleaming, dark eyes stared into the depths off my mind as as laughter echoes painfully inside my head, my body is thrown backwards, just by the pure force of the bey.

I see lyra fly past my head and embed itself into the cavern wall next to me. Cruel purple light fills my head, it feels like it's about to explode, I don't think I can take anymore...
And then, silence...

Chapter 1: The hooded figure

The sea glistened beautifully in the horizon. Chiron checked his watch, 10.15 AM if he was correct. He stood gazing into the distance for a moment longer before returning his green sunglasses to shield his eyes from the blistering heat and turned to return home.

"Chiron! Hey, wait up!" called a familiar voice from a couple of metres behind him and he turns smilling.

"Morning Alexander!" he called out in reply.

"Yeah, Whatever," he said as he gasped for breath; he appeared to have been running, "Now come on, you gotta see this."

"See what?" curiosity creeping into his voice.

"There's this guy at the park, and he's thrashing everyones beys!" Alexander said, fearfully, but also slightly amazed.

Chiron's eyes widened with disbelief.

"For real!?" he called after Alexander as he sped off towards the park.

*

They arrived at the park, yearning for breath, only to see a kids beyblade fly out of the stadium smashing to pieces in the air.

A wicked laugh filled the air, Chiron felt both disgusted and appalled at the sight of childrens beys remains scattered around the park in various places.

"Hey, you!" Chiron's voice echoed emptily across the familiar surroundings.

A hooded figure, standing in front of the beystadium, turned and smiled wickedly in Chiron's direction.

"Yes little boy?" He replied, batting his eyelashes.

"Let's battle! Right here, right now!"

"You said it, not me, kid."

"Are you sure about this?" interrupted Alexander.

"Positive," said Chiron.

"Yeah, be careful," Elisa, Alexander's older sisters voice called from beside a nearby tree.

"I know what I'm doing!" Chiron replied through gritted teeth.

"Come on kid I'm growing old here!" The strange, hooded figure called.

"I'm just coming!"

THREE... TWO... ONE... GO SHOOT!

Chirons bey, Burn Libra, went soaring into the arena, he new he had a homeground advantage, he also new he was one of the best bladers in town. But then again, this guy had taken out almost half the kids in the villages beys.

"Concentrate kido!" The hooded figure interrupted his thoughts.

Turning his attention once again to the battle, he noticed the bey he was using was Thunder Fireblaze! Chiron had heard and read about how powerful this bey was, and now he was starting to have second thoughts about this battle.

Fireblaze slammed into Libra, causing Chiron's bey to be knocked off balance. The strange man took his chance, Thunder Fireblaze smashed into Libra's unshielded side.

Chapter 2: Battle over

Chiron just stood and stared, he felt hopeless! He started to panic even more when he saw Libra was now facing a strong barrage of attacks.

"Come on, Chiron, you can stil-"

Alexander's sentence of support was cut short as Chiron's Burn Libra, was sent sailing out of the arena.

At this point Chiron thought his day just couldn't get any worse! That was, until it did, Libra hit a rock and smashed into dozens of pieces!

Silence filled the park momentarily until the the hooded figures laughter boomed all around the park.

"Nice try, kiddywinks!"

Then he walked off without another word to anyone. A tear trickled down the side on Chirons cheek.

Chapter 3: An idea

Chiron woke up for school the next morning in a puddle of sweat. He had had nightmares about the man at the park, and was now determined to find out who he was.

Leaping out of bed and beginning to get changed for school, two problems came to mind, one: how was he going to find him? Two: The main reason he wanted to find him was too have a rematch and try his best to beat him, so he was going to need a beyblade for that!

Ignoring these thoughts for the moment, Chiron ran downstairs to eat breakfast.

"Morning darling! Did you sleep alright?" his mum called from the kitchen.

"yeah, fine," he mumbled in reply.

*

Chiron arrived at school as he remembered something about someone in his class had boasted about! Sadly, the person was probably the most annoying person in the world!

"Hey! Tiffany, the other day, you were boasting about how you new a guy who could make any beyblade better, weren't you?" Chiron said, walking up to her.

"Yeah," she mumbled in reply, stuffing her face with food, "why?".

"I need his help."

Chapter 4: A new bey

After spending most of the school day arguing as Chiron tried to persuade Tiffany to get the guy to help him, he ended up having to bribe her with chocolate.

After school Tiffany gave the guy, whose name was Jay, a call.

"He'll meet us at the car dealership downtown," She said, hanging up the phone,"He said to be there in 10 minutes, minimum."

"What!?" Chiron gasped," But that's like all the way on the other side of town!"

"Yeah, get over it, your either gonna have to make it or break," She replied in a dislikable, maybe even evil tone.

"Ugh," Chiron groaned as he sped off, leaving Tiffany behind, stumbling after him.

*

Chiron arrived at the dealership sweating, and close too collapsing just as it hit the 10 minute mark.

"So you came," A voice sounded from underneath a nearby car.

A tall, slim, grubby looking late teen skidded out from beneath the car.

"Um... yeah, I came to ask if you could make me a new beyblade," Chiron replied cautiously.

"Yeah sure whatever kid,".

*

"YES!" cried Chiron with joy.

Jay and Chiron had just finished building his new bey: Burn aries.

"Hey kid, don't go breaking that, that's some of my best parts in that thing." Said Jay.

"Of course not!" replied Chiron, thinking the idea was preposterous.

"Ok, and watch it! I've heard about that guy who thrashed your blade, he plays dirty, travels the country working for some secret organization and destroying peoples beyblades, word on the street his name's The Shroud." Called Jay as Chiron left, only to be met at the door by none other then 'The Shroud'.

Chapter 5: the final roll of the dice

The Shroud and Chiron stared into each others eyes for a moment, before coming to a silent agreement, this was going to end here and now.

*

Now standing at opposite ends of the park beystadium, where it had all started, they prepared to fight. nervousness burned in the pit of Chiron's stomach.

3...2...1... GO SHOOT!

Burn aries went into full throttle straight away, bearing down on Thunder Fireblaze.

Finally Aries caught up with Fireblaze, knocking him about for a bit, but Fireblaze retaliated by speeding away so fast that he caught up with Aries again and pummeled him into the ground.

Sweat formed on Chiron's brow, he was going to lose, he new he would at this rate anyway. Chiron had to do something quickly, before it was too late.

"Aries, move backwards!" Chiron yelled.

Aries darted backwards so fast that it startled The Shroud, causing his bey to lose balance momentarily and leaving Fireblaze wide open to attack. Aries smashed into the side of The Shroud's bey with all its force, again and again, but it seemed to have no effect! The shroud's laughter echoed throughout the park.

"You think that puny little attacks like that are going to stop me? Think again little boy, your bey is hopeless and puny, just like you!"

Anger burned in the pit of Chiron's stomach, it all came down to this last attack, he would either win or lose, it was the final throw of the dice. As The Shroud carried on mocking him, Chiron felt the pain in his stomach grow stronger, it seemed to be beckoning him in, he liked the feeling, he felt so... powerful? Was that it? He didn't know anymore but he wanted the feeling to stay and so, he gave in.

All of a sudden, cruel purple light burst forward from his body, darkness taking over, and it didn't feel bad, no not at all, he felt like he's usual self, only stronger.

"GO, BURN ARIES! COUNTER ROTATION!" Chiron bellowed.

And that was when he lost he's grip on reality, the final thing he heard before the darkness fully took over his body, was The Shroud, screaming in pain.


THE END

Please PM me if you want to know if there are more stories that i have written, or if you would like me to write more!!
Interesting prologue. Keep going; it sounds interesting so far!
yeah man keep going!!
I want to read more!!
Yep am just starting chapter 1 hold on... (and thanks! Grin)
nice!! chapter1
Awesome story luck, keep it comin! You should think about publishing the future book, I would buy it!
This is actually very well done. Very descriptive and thoughtful. The descriptions are great, but it's a little confusing as to who is who at times. Keep up the efforts.
Short but clear, clean enough, I like it.
Quote:"Let(')s battle! Right here, right now!"
be careful with the 's.
Thanks! I'm just about to finish off chapter one! Grin
Finally, chapter 2 XD
Found a few spelling mistakes. Might want to fix that up.
(Feb. 10, 2012  5:42 PM)Luck Wrote: farmilliar voice
(Feb. 10, 2012  5:42 PM)Luck Wrote: homeground advandtage
(Feb. 10, 2012  5:42 PM)Luck Wrote: his green sunglassess
Overall Nice Story! Can't wait for chapter 3!


And i'm still on chapter 2
I'm now tempeted to give up.... XD
hey man, that's amazing story you wrote, even I can't write good stories like you do. And also, can you at least give this another go? I wanna know what happens in chapter 3...I was curious for more of the story. thanks.
nice chapter 2 just keep writing!!!
I will !! (If i have time XD)
If you can impress me with your story, I will reward you with a bey of your choice, can be zero g series. pm me thanks
ohhhhh! Yeah! Smile i'll work on it right away Wink
great haha but you still need to PM me for details. thanks.
epic story you will make a great hawk member
(Feb. 10, 2012  5:42 PM)Luck Wrote: big quote removed.

I just helped you corrected your spelling mistakes. Please change them in your first post. thanks.
I will and am! thanks nation
great. All the mistakes have been corrected Good job. So, there will be chapter 5? coz Chapter 4 was a bit short.