RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - LegendJustice - Jun. 29, 2021
Chapter 15
Ragnarok’s Debut
???: Hmm the air ship, seems interesting I might join!
????: You can do that they have to choose people!
???: Why wouldn’t they choose me? I’m the best they are!
????: Ruckus, they wouldn’t choose you cause of your ego. **Roles Eyes**
Ruckus: I’m gonna create an even better bey! Everyone always choose someone else not this time I’m gonna be the best! You’ll see Mia!
Mia: Okay, Okay so what are you gonna name it?
Ruckus: Ragnarok! Like Rantaro Kiyama! And I want it to be a Justice bey!
Mia: Okay, come over here **starts the 3D printer**.
Ruckus: Crash Ragnarok! Let’s go!
(Six hours later)
Ruckus: ITS DONE! Crash Ragnarok! https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buybeyblades.com%2Fproducts%2Fcrash-ragnaruk-roktavor-burst-beyblade-b-111&psig=AOvVaw0-DbRGml19Dbz_7nQVmS-i&ust=1625073499465000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAcQjRxqFwoTCNiW5-esvfECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD.
Ruckus: Let’s test this bad boy out!
Mia: Okay Malas, Will end you!
Ruckus & Mia: 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!
Mia: Malas, Let’s go!
(Malas starts charging at Ragnarok)
Ruckus: Hehe, Crash Smash!
(Ragnarok’s Smash counters Malas’s attack)
Ruckus: LETS GO!!!
Mia: Not today brother, not today!
(Both aura’s start flaring up)
Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
(Malas burst)
Ruckus: Yes!
Mia: **picks up Malas** Good job brother! Now we better leave this ware house!
Ruckus: Yeah, we don’t want the owners finding us in here!
(They get back home)
Ruckus: Hey mom!
Mother: Hello Ruckus, Mia!
Mia: Hi mom, so Ruckus has something to say!
Mother: Really? And what would that be?
Ruckus: Can I go on the air ship! That lots of bladers are going to?!
Mother: Hm I’ll think about it.
(Meanwhile)
Shun: So Jacob, who’s match is next?
Jacob: Well, where a long way from land and matches happens when we land.
Shun: Oh, Then I will be speaking to the captain about his flying skills!
Hanami: BLADERS! The plane will be landing shortly, also we will be having a speech from our world champion VALT AOI!!
Valt: Hey everyone!
All: **whispers** Woah valt is here!
Valt: I came here to talk about blading! **trips** oops didn’t mean to do that! But anyway I wanted to just say you all are talented and amazing in your own way and keep on blading! And special thanks to Jacob Kong for sending me the blue prints to build a Justice bey!
Jacob: WHAT! THAT EMAIL WAS YOU!
Valt: Hehe, Yeah I want you all to meet Danish Valtryek! This is it in action! Stadium rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
All: Cool!
Valt: now help me do this!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Valt: Let it rip!
(Danish Valtryek speeds up like a Jet)
Valt: Hehe! Now I want you all to Launch your beys!
Jacob’s mind: Woah is he really gonna take us all on!?
All: Rip!
Valt: Valtryek! Let’s show them what we’re made of!
(Valtryek starts bursting all the beys one by one)
Valt: Thanks for that amazing battle!
Shun: I-impossible!
Valt: Well, Bye everyone!
Next episode is
Fighting gets exciting!
Ruckus Joins the Air ship!
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - LegendJustice - Jun. 30, 2021
So this is what the air ship is like the dorms are not big there like a a closet and they sleep in sleeping bags and there stuff is on the side so the plane does not crash and they are 3 planes one for the battles, another for the dorms, and the one that’s just empty and is for storage
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - GenesisBlader - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 6:25 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: So this is what the air ship is like the dorms are not big there like a a closet and they sleep in sleeping bags and there stuff is on the side so the plane does not crash and they are 3 planes one for the battles, another for the dorms, and the one that’s just empty and is for storage
thats pretty awesome, better than what i was gonna think of lol
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - UnseenBurst - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 29, 2021 6:49 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 15
Ragnarok’s Debut
???: Hmm the air ship, seems interesting I might join!
????: You can do that they have to choose people!
???: Why wouldn’t they choose me? I’m the best they are!
????: Ruckus, they wouldn’t choose you cause of your ego. **Roles Eyes**
Ruckus: I’m gonna create an even better bey! Everyone always choose someone else not this time I’m gonna be the best! You’ll see Mia!
Mia: Okay, Okay so what are you gonna name it?
Ruckus: Ragnarok! Like Rantaro Kiyama! And I want it to be a Justice bey!
Mia: Okay, come over here **starts the 3D printer**.
Ruckus: Crash Ragnarok! Let’s go!
(Six hours later)
Ruckus: ITS DONE! Crash Ragnarok! https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buybeyblades.com%2Fproducts%2Fcrash-ragnaruk-roktavor-burst-beyblade-b-111&psig=AOvVaw0-DbRGml19Dbz_7nQVmS-i&ust=1625073499465000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAcQjRxqFwoTCNiW5-esvfECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD.
Ruckus: Let’s test this bad boy out!
Mia: Okay Malas, Will end you!
Ruckus & Mia: 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!
Mia: Malas, Let’s go!
(Malas starts charging at Ragnarok)
Ruckus: Hehe, Crash Smash!
(Ragnarok’s Smash counters Malas’s attack)
Ruckus: LETS GO!!!
Mia: Not today brother, not today!
(Both aura’s start flaring up)
Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
(Malas burst)
Ruckus: Yes!
Mia: **picks up Malas** Good job brother! Now we better leave this ware house!
Ruckus: Yeah, we don’t want the owners finding us in here!
(They get back home)
Ruckus: Hey mom!
Mother: Hello Ruckus, Mia!
Mia: Hi mom, so Ruckus has something to say!
Mother: Really? And what would that be?
Ruckus: Can I go on the air ship! That lots of bladers are going to?!
Mother: Hm I’ll think about it.
(Meanwhile)
Shun: So Jacob, who’s match is next?
Jacob: Well, where a long way from land and matches happens when we land.
Shun: Oh, Then I will be speaking to the captain about his flying skills!
Hanami: BLADERS! The plane will be landing shortly, also we will be having a speech from our world champion VALT AOI!!
Valt: Hey everyone!
All: **whispers** Woah valt is here!
Valt: I came here to talk about blading! **trips** oops didn’t mean to do that! But anyway I wanted to just say you all are talented and amazing in your own way and keep on blading! And special thanks to Jacob Kong for sending me the blue prints to build a Justice bey!
Jacob: WHAT! THAT EMAIL WAS YOU!
Valt: Hehe, Yeah I want you all to meet Danish Valtryek! This is it in action! Stadium rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
All: Cool!
Valt: now help me do this!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Valt: Let it rip!
(Danish Valtryek speeds up like a Jet)
Valt: Hehe! Now I want you all to Launch your beys!
Jacob’s mind: Woah is he really gonna take us all on!?
All: Rip!
Valt: Valtryek! Let’s show them what we’re made of!
(Valtryek starts bursting all the beys one by one)
Valt: Thanks for that amazing battle!
Shun: I-impossible!
Valt: Well, Bye everyone!
Next episode is
Fighting gets exciting!
Ruckus Joins the Air ship!
Grammar: 3/5. I noticed quite a lot of mistakes.
Story: 2/5. It was kinda meh, I felt like you could've added more action and maybe come out with a new Roktavor or something.
Characters: 3/5. You Should've shown us more about Rukus like more of his personality and you should've made the episode about him so we could learn more about him.
Dialogue: 2/5. Like I said before it would've been better if the chapter was better structured around Rukus.
Length: 4/5. It's getting there the one thing you need to work on is taking the time you need if it's a really long chapter take out some unnecessary stuff that doesn't benefit the plot
Total: 14/25 It's getting there you just got some work to do I Know you can improve
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - LegendJustice - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 6:41 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: (Jun. 29, 2021 6:49 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 15
Ragnarok’s Debut
???: Hmm the air ship, seems interesting I might join!
????: You can do that they have to choose people!
???: Why wouldn’t they choose me? I’m the best they are!
????: Ruckus, they wouldn’t choose you cause of your ego. **Roles Eyes**
Ruckus: I’m gonna create an even better bey! Everyone always choose someone else not this time I’m gonna be the best! You’ll see Mia!
Mia: Okay, Okay so what are you gonna name it?
Ruckus: Ragnarok! Like Rantaro Kiyama! And I want it to be a Justice bey!
Mia: Okay, come over here **starts the 3D printer**.
Ruckus: Crash Ragnarok! Let’s go!
(Six hours later)
Ruckus: ITS DONE! Crash Ragnarok! https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buybeyblades.com%2Fproducts%2Fcrash-ragnaruk-roktavor-burst-beyblade-b-111&psig=AOvVaw0-DbRGml19Dbz_7nQVmS-i&ust=1625073499465000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAcQjRxqFwoTCNiW5-esvfECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD.
Ruckus: Let’s test this bad boy out!
Mia: Okay Malas, Will end you!
Ruckus & Mia: 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!
Mia: Malas, Let’s go!
(Malas starts charging at Ragnarok)
Ruckus: Hehe, Crash Smash!
(Ragnarok’s Smash counters Malas’s attack)
Ruckus: LETS GO!!!
Mia: Not today brother, not today!
(Both aura’s start flaring up)
Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
(Malas burst)
Ruckus: Yes!
Mia: **picks up Malas** Good job brother! Now we better leave this ware house!
Ruckus: Yeah, we don’t want the owners finding us in here!
(They get back home)
Ruckus: Hey mom!
Mother: Hello Ruckus, Mia!
Mia: Hi mom, so Ruckus has something to say!
Mother: Really? And what would that be?
Ruckus: Can I go on the air ship! That lots of bladers are going to?!
Mother: Hm I’ll think about it.
(Meanwhile)
Shun: So Jacob, who’s match is next?
Jacob: Well, where a long way from land and matches happens when we land.
Shun: Oh, Then I will be speaking to the captain about his flying skills!
Hanami: BLADERS! The plane will be landing shortly, also we will be having a speech from our world champion VALT AOI!!
Valt: Hey everyone!
All: **whispers** Woah valt is here!
Valt: I came here to talk about blading! **trips** oops didn’t mean to do that! But anyway I wanted to just say you all are talented and amazing in your own way and keep on blading! And special thanks to Jacob Kong for sending me the blue prints to build a Justice bey!
Jacob: WHAT! THAT EMAIL WAS YOU!
Valt: Hehe, Yeah I want you all to meet Danish Valtryek! This is it in action! Stadium rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
All: Cool!
Valt: now help me do this!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Valt: Let it rip!
(Danish Valtryek speeds up like a Jet)
Valt: Hehe! Now I want you all to Launch your beys!
Jacob’s mind: Woah is he really gonna take us all on!?
All: Rip!
Valt: Valtryek! Let’s show them what we’re made of!
(Valtryek starts bursting all the beys one by one)
Valt: Thanks for that amazing battle!
Shun: I-impossible!
Valt: Well, Bye everyone!
Next episode is
Fighting gets exciting!
Ruckus Joins the Air ship!
Grammar: 3/5. I noticed quite a lot of mistakes.
Story: 2/5. It was kinda meh, I felt like you could've added more action and maybe come out with a new Roktavor or something.
Characters: 3/5. You Should've shown us more about Rukus like more of his personality and you should've made the episode about him so we could learn more about him.
Dialogue: 2/5. Like I said before it would've been better if the chapter was better structured around Rukus.
Length: 4/5. It's getting there the one thing you need to work on is taking the time you need if it's a really long chapter take out some unnecessary stuff that doesn't benefit the plot
Total: 14/25 It's getting there you just got some work to do I Know you can improve
Thx dude!
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - UnseenBurst - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 6:46 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: (Jun. 30, 2021 6:41 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: Grammar: 3/5. I noticed quite a lot of mistakes.
Story: 2/5. It was kinda meh, I felt like you could've added more action and maybe come out with a new Roktavor or something.
Characters: 3/5. You Should've shown us more about Rukus like more of his personality and you should've made the episode about him so we could learn more about him.
Dialogue: 2/5. Like I said before it would've been better if the chapter was better structured around Rukus.
Length: 4/5. It's getting there the one thing you need to work on is taking the time you need if it's a really long chapter take out some unnecessary stuff that doesn't benefit the plot
Total: 14/25 It's getting there you just got some work to do I Know you can improve
Thx dude!
Anytime
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - LegendJustice - Jun. 30, 2021
ill be having a beyblade contest you guys have to submit a bey you want in the story and i will make a character for it
ill announce the winners on July the 4
UnseenBurst do you wanna enter?
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - UnseenBurst - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 7:19 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: ill be having a beyblade contest you guys have to submit a bey you want in the story and i will make a character for it
ill announce the winners on July the 4
UnseenBurst do you wanna enter?
Sure but give me some time I need some insperation
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - NamanSpryzen - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 29, 2021 6:49 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 15
Ragnarok’s Debut
???: Hmm the air ship, seems interesting I might join!
????: You can do that they have to choose people!
???: Why wouldn’t they choose me? I’m the best they are!
????: Ruckus, they wouldn’t choose you cause of your ego. **Roles Eyes**
Ruckus: I’m gonna create an even better bey! Everyone always choose someone else not this time I’m gonna be the best! You’ll see Mia!
Mia: Okay, Okay so what are you gonna name it?
Ruckus: Ragnarok! Like Rantaro Kiyama! And I want it to be a Justice bey!
Mia: Okay, come over here **starts the 3D printer**.
Ruckus: Crash Ragnarok! Let’s go!
(Six hours later)
Ruckus: ITS DONE! Crash Ragnarok! https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buybeyblades.com%2Fproducts%2Fcrash-ragnaruk-roktavor-burst-beyblade-b-111&psig=AOvVaw0-DbRGml19Dbz_7nQVmS-i&ust=1625073499465000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAcQjRxqFwoTCNiW5-esvfECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD.
Ruckus: Let’s test this bad boy out!
Mia: Okay Malas, Will end you!
Ruckus & Mia: 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!
Mia: Malas, Let’s go!
(Malas starts charging at Ragnarok)
Ruckus: Hehe, Crash Smash!
(Ragnarok’s Smash counters Malas’s attack)
Ruckus: LETS GO!!!
Mia: Not today brother, not today!
(Both aura’s start flaring up)
Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
(Malas burst)
Ruckus: Yes!
Mia: **picks up Malas** Good job brother! Now we better leave this ware house!
Ruckus: Yeah, we don’t want the owners finding us in here!
(They get back home)
Ruckus: Hey mom!
Mother: Hello Ruckus, Mia!
Mia: Hi mom, so Ruckus has something to say!
Mother: Really? And what would that be?
Ruckus: Can I go on the air ship! That lots of bladers are going to?!
Mother: Hm I’ll think about it.
(Meanwhile)
Shun: So Jacob, who’s match is next?
Jacob: Well, where a long way from land and matches happens when we land.
Shun: Oh, Then I will be speaking to the captain about his flying skills!
Hanami: BLADERS! The plane will be landing shortly, also we will be having a speech from our world champion VALT AOI!!
Valt: Hey everyone!
All: **whispers** Woah valt is here!
Valt: I came here to talk about blading! **trips** oops didn’t mean to do that! But anyway I wanted to just say you all are talented and amazing in your own way and keep on blading! And special thanks to Jacob Kong for sending me the blue prints to build a Justice bey!
Jacob: WHAT! THAT EMAIL WAS YOU!
Valt: Hehe, Yeah I want you all to meet Danish Valtryek! This is it in action! Stadium rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
All: Cool!
Valt: now help me do this!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Valt: Let it rip!
(Danish Valtryek speeds up like a Jet)
Valt: Hehe! Now I want you all to Launch your beys!
Jacob’s mind: Woah is he really gonna take us all on!?
All: Rip!
Valt: Valtryek! Let’s show them what we’re made of!
(Valtryek starts bursting all the beys one by one)
Valt: Thanks for that amazing battle!
Shun: I-impossible!
Valt: Well, Bye everyone!
Next episode is
Fighting gets exciting!
Ruckus Joins the Air ship!
Grammar: 3.5/5- A lot of the grammar is wrong, if you were typing this in a hurry, then I'd give you a like 20000/5 on your 'hurry grammar' XD.
Plot: I haven't read the whole fanfic, so I'll give this chapter a 9.9/10.
And the last one, Biggness of the Chapter: It's short, so I'll give it a 5/10.
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - UnseenBurst - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 8:18 PM)NamanSpryzen Wrote: (Jun. 29, 2021 6:49 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 15
Ragnarok’s Debut
???: Hmm the air ship, seems interesting I might join!
????: You can do that they have to choose people!
???: Why wouldn’t they choose me? I’m the best they are!
????: Ruckus, they wouldn’t choose you cause of your ego. **Roles Eyes**
Ruckus: I’m gonna create an even better bey! Everyone always choose someone else not this time I’m gonna be the best! You’ll see Mia!
Mia: Okay, Okay so what are you gonna name it?
Ruckus: Ragnarok! Like Rantaro Kiyama! And I want it to be a Justice bey!
Mia: Okay, come over here **starts the 3D printer**.
Ruckus: Crash Ragnarok! Let’s go!
(Six hours later)
Ruckus: ITS DONE! Crash Ragnarok! https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buybeyblades.com%2Fproducts%2Fcrash-ragnaruk-roktavor-burst-beyblade-b-111&psig=AOvVaw0-DbRGml19Dbz_7nQVmS-i&ust=1625073499465000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAcQjRxqFwoTCNiW5-esvfECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD.
Ruckus: Let’s test this bad boy out!
Mia: Okay Malas, Will end you!
Ruckus & Mia: 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!
Mia: Malas, Let’s go!
(Malas starts charging at Ragnarok)
Ruckus: Hehe, Crash Smash!
(Ragnarok’s Smash counters Malas’s attack)
Ruckus: LETS GO!!!
Mia: Not today brother, not today!
(Both aura’s start flaring up)
Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
(Malas burst)
Ruckus: Yes!
Mia: **picks up Malas** Good job brother! Now we better leave this ware house!
Ruckus: Yeah, we don’t want the owners finding us in here!
(They get back home)
Ruckus: Hey mom!
Mother: Hello Ruckus, Mia!
Mia: Hi mom, so Ruckus has something to say!
Mother: Really? And what would that be?
Ruckus: Can I go on the air ship! That lots of bladers are going to?!
Mother: Hm I’ll think about it.
(Meanwhile)
Shun: So Jacob, who’s match is next?
Jacob: Well, where a long way from land and matches happens when we land.
Shun: Oh, Then I will be speaking to the captain about his flying skills!
Hanami: BLADERS! The plane will be landing shortly, also we will be having a speech from our world champion VALT AOI!!
Valt: Hey everyone!
All: **whispers** Woah valt is here!
Valt: I came here to talk about blading! **trips** oops didn’t mean to do that! But anyway I wanted to just say you all are talented and amazing in your own way and keep on blading! And special thanks to Jacob Kong for sending me the blue prints to build a Justice bey!
Jacob: WHAT! THAT EMAIL WAS YOU!
Valt: Hehe, Yeah I want you all to meet Danish Valtryek! This is it in action! Stadium rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
All: Cool!
Valt: now help me do this!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Valt: Let it rip!
(Danish Valtryek speeds up like a Jet)
Valt: Hehe! Now I want you all to Launch your beys!
Jacob’s mind: Woah is he really gonna take us all on!?
All: Rip!
Valt: Valtryek! Let’s show them what we’re made of!
(Valtryek starts bursting all the beys one by one)
Valt: Thanks for that amazing battle!
Shun: I-impossible!
Valt: Well, Bye everyone!
Next episode is
Fighting gets exciting!
Ruckus Joins the Air ship!
Grammar: 3.5/5- A lot of the grammar is wrong, if you were typing this in a hurry, then I'd give you a like 20000/5 on your 'hurry grammar' XD.
Plot: I haven't read the whole fanfic, so I'll give this chapter a 9.9/10.
And the last one, Biggness of the Chapter: It's short, so I'll give it a 5/10.
Yo, NamanSpryzen could u rate my chapter
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - LegendJustice - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 8:18 PM)NamanSpryzen Wrote: (Jun. 29, 2021 6:49 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 15
Ragnarok’s Debut
???: Hmm the air ship, seems interesting I might join!
????: You can do that they have to choose people!
???: Why wouldn’t they choose me? I’m the best they are!
????: Ruckus, they wouldn’t choose you cause of your ego. **Roles Eyes**
Ruckus: I’m gonna create an even better bey! Everyone always choose someone else not this time I’m gonna be the best! You’ll see Mia!
Mia: Okay, Okay so what are you gonna name it?
Ruckus: Ragnarok! Like Rantaro Kiyama! And I want it to be a Justice bey!
Mia: Okay, come over here **starts the 3D printer**.
Ruckus: Crash Ragnarok! Let’s go!
(Six hours later)
Ruckus: ITS DONE! Crash Ragnarok! https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buybeyblades.com%2Fproducts%2Fcrash-ragnaruk-roktavor-burst-beyblade-b-111&psig=AOvVaw0-DbRGml19Dbz_7nQVmS-i&ust=1625073499465000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAcQjRxqFwoTCNiW5-esvfECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD.
Ruckus: Let’s test this bad boy out!
Mia: Okay Malas, Will end you!
Ruckus & Mia: 3! 2! 1! LET IT RIP!
Mia: Malas, Let’s go!
(Malas starts charging at Ragnarok)
Ruckus: Hehe, Crash Smash!
(Ragnarok’s Smash counters Malas’s attack)
Ruckus: LETS GO!!!
Mia: Not today brother, not today!
(Both aura’s start flaring up)
Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
(Malas burst)
Ruckus: Yes!
Mia: **picks up Malas** Good job brother! Now we better leave this ware house!
Ruckus: Yeah, we don’t want the owners finding us in here!
(They get back home)
Ruckus: Hey mom!
Mother: Hello Ruckus, Mia!
Mia: Hi mom, so Ruckus has something to say!
Mother: Really? And what would that be?
Ruckus: Can I go on the air ship! That lots of bladers are going to?!
Mother: Hm I’ll think about it.
(Meanwhile)
Shun: So Jacob, who’s match is next?
Jacob: Well, where a long way from land and matches happens when we land.
Shun: Oh, Then I will be speaking to the captain about his flying skills!
Hanami: BLADERS! The plane will be landing shortly, also we will be having a speech from our world champion VALT AOI!!
Valt: Hey everyone!
All: **whispers** Woah valt is here!
Valt: I came here to talk about blading! **trips** oops didn’t mean to do that! But anyway I wanted to just say you all are talented and amazing in your own way and keep on blading! And special thanks to Jacob Kong for sending me the blue prints to build a Justice bey!
Jacob: WHAT! THAT EMAIL WAS YOU!
Valt: Hehe, Yeah I want you all to meet Danish Valtryek! This is it in action! Stadium rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
All: Cool!
Valt: now help me do this!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Valt: Let it rip!
(Danish Valtryek speeds up like a Jet)
Valt: Hehe! Now I want you all to Launch your beys!
Jacob’s mind: Woah is he really gonna take us all on!?
All: Rip!
Valt: Valtryek! Let’s show them what we’re made of!
(Valtryek starts bursting all the beys one by one)
Valt: Thanks for that amazing battle!
Shun: I-impossible!
Valt: Well, Bye everyone!
Next episode is
Fighting gets exciting!
Ruckus Joins the Air ship!
Grammar: 3.5/5- A lot of the grammar is wrong, if you were typing this in a hurry, then I'd give you a like 20000/5 on your 'hurry grammar' XD.
Plot: I haven't read the whole fanfic, so I'll give this chapter a 9.9/10.
And the last one, Biggness of the Chapter: It's short, so I'll give it a 5/10.
Thx!
Name: Ruckus De Le Russo
Bey: Crash Ragnarok
Personality: a kid with a high ego but is Kind and forgiving
Appearance: He wears a Black jacket that is long liken Ranjiro and white shirt and a black jean and a Bubble gun in his mouth all the time
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - UnseenBurst - Jun. 30, 2021
Name: Finn Sumiye
Age: 16
Personality: Very intense blader he's rude to most people and he's one of the strongest blades around messing with him would be a mistake. He's always practicing to be the best and never stops his defense is one of the best out there. He's beaten Delta Zakuro before (Not the DeltaZakuro from WBO) and he's beaten Dante Koryu.
Bey: Monarch Forneus GigaWheel Universe (Green)
Layer: Monarch Forneus: It's set up to have a defense like a tank it has metal on it to giving it extra weight.
Disk: GigaWheel: It's the heaviest disk ever it's meant to make sure defense beys never get knocked over.
Universe: it's Universe except for o being green.
Attacks: Monarch Defense Monarch Drift Ultra Monarch Drift Monarch Crash!!
Alliance: He has no friends 
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - NamanSpryzen - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 8:22 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: (Jun. 30, 2021 8:18 PM)NamanSpryzen Wrote: Grammar: 3.5/5- A lot of the grammar is wrong, if you were typing this in a hurry, then I'd give you a like 20000/5 on your 'hurry grammar' XD.
Plot: I haven't read the whole fanfic, so I'll give this chapter a 9.9/10.
And the last one, Biggness of the Chapter: It's short, so I'll give it a 5/10.
Yo, NamanSpryzen could u rate my chapter
K! The latest chapter for the one I entered the character contest?
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - UnseenBurst - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 9:03 PM)NamanSpryzen Wrote: (Jun. 30, 2021 8:22 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: Yo, NamanSpryzen could u rate my chapter
K! The latest chapter for the one I entered the character contest?
Yes please
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - ColdFlames13 - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 7:19 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: ill be having a Beyblade contest you guys have to submit a bey you want in the story and I will make a character for it
ill announce the winners on July the 4
UnseenBurst do you wanna enter?
Wait another one?
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - LegendJustice - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 10:48 PM)ColdFlames13 Wrote: (Jun. 30, 2021 7:19 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: ill be having a Beyblade contest you guys have to submit a bey you want in the story and I will make a character for it
ill announce the winners on July the 4
UnseenBurst do you wanna enter?
Wait another one?
It’s more of you make a beyblade and I will make a character for it
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - Hollowmind13 - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 10:48 PM)ColdFlames13 Wrote: (Jun. 30, 2021 7:19 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: ill be having a Beyblade contest you guys have to submit a bey you want in the story and I will make a character for it
ill announce the winners on July the 4
UnseenBurst do you wanna enter?
Wait another one? Sometimes when you don't have character ideas or want to spice up things you make these character contests. The reason can be:
A. The ones listed above
B. Atract more attention to your fanfic
C. Just for fun
D. Idk more but i have sure there's more
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - ColdFlames13 - Jun. 30, 2021
(Jun. 30, 2021 10:53 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: (Jun. 30, 2021 10:48 PM)ColdFlames13 Wrote: Wait another one?
It’s more of you make a Beyblade and I will make a character for it
(Jun. 30, 2021 10:54 PM)Hollowmind8 Wrote: (Jun. 30, 2021 10:48 PM)ColdFlames13 Wrote: Wait another one? Sometimes when you don't have character ideas or want to spice up things you make these character contests. The reason can be:
A. The ones listed above
B. Attract more attention to your fanfic
C. Just for fun
D. Idk more but I have sure there's more
Oh. So.. let me think of a bey
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - LegendJustice - Jul. 01, 2021
So let me explain this so you make a Beyblade and I create a character for it and you explain the bey in detail
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - Beyl0v3r - Jul. 02, 2021
Yo yooooooo
Yes indeed a "yo yooooooo" is worthy of a like.😆
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - LegendJustice - Jul. 02, 2021
(Jul. 02, 2021 7:56 PM)Beyl0v3r Wrote: Yo yooooooo
Yes indeed a "yo yooooooo" is worthy of a like.😆
Lol sorry
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - Beyl0v3r - Jul. 02, 2021
(Jul. 02, 2021 8:30 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: (Jul. 02, 2021 7:56 PM)Beyl0v3r Wrote: Yo yooooooo
Yes indeed a "yo yooooooo" is worthy of a like.😆
Lol sorry Naw it's all good but u see what I mean?
Me realizes that there aren't any tournaments in Texas.😭😆😭😆
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - LegendJustice - Jul. 02, 2021
Chapter 16 sorry if this feels lazy!
Battle Island
Captain: Attention, Bladers we are landing at battle island!
Shun: what’s battle island?
Captain: Due to legal reasons we will no longer be flying on the air ship instead we will land at this private island!
(Everyone starts talking along them selfs)
Hanami: He’s telling the truth!!! I’m gonna leave the rest to Kris from BC sol!
Kris: Thank you, so what the captain said is true battle island is a huge island **shows picture on screen** you in this section we have the dorms it’s way more bigger and has more space, over here we have the training room you are allowed to train here, then we have the battle room where matches will be called and bladers battle! And then we have the storage room.
Captain: We will be there shortly.
(They arrive)
Jacob: Woah, this place is huge!
Shun: I know right!
Remington: Hm Kris, are we still assigned with the same people from the air ship?
Kris: Yes, you are still assigned with them.
Satsu’s mind: Great I’m still with Ronin.
Ryui’s mind: I still have the element of surprise, Jacob still does not know I’m here! When my match is up I will destroy my opponent’s bey to pieces then Jacob will see what he is up against!
Hanami: BLADERS, THE MATCH TODAY WILL BE FUKUI VS AUSTIN!!!
(Shun runs up to Austin)
Austin: Oh, hey shun!
Shun: Hey, good luck on your match!
Austin: Thanks!
Helper: Here you go everyone a map on where to go!
(Lots of people come to take there maps)
Austin: **looks at map** Hm the training room is not far from here!
(Austin heads to the training room).
Jacob: I’m heading to the dorms!
Shun: Same here I need to unpack my bags.
Satsu: Okay, later guys!
(Meanwhile with Austin).
Fukui: FRAZER! Let’s go!
Austin’s mind: Huh someone is already here!
Austin: Mind if I join!
Fukui: Sure.
Austin: Woah, Cool Justice bey!
Fukui: Thanks, this is Faze Frazer!
Austin: Nice! This is my justice bey, Savage Aeolus!
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - GenesisBlader - Jul. 02, 2021
(Jul. 02, 2021 9:11 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 16 sorry if this feels lazy!
Battle Island
Captain: Attention, Bladers we are landing at battle island!
Shun: what’s battle island?
Captain: Due to legal reasons we will no longer be flying on the air ship instead we will land at this private island!
(Everyone starts talking along them selfs)
Hanami: He’s telling the truth!!! I’m gonna leave the rest to Kris from BC sol!
Kris: Thank you, so what the captain said is true battle island is a huge island **shows picture on screen** you in this section we have the dorms it’s way more bigger and has more space, over here we have the training room you are allowed to train here, then we have the battle room where matches will be called and bladers battle! And then we have the storage room.
Captain: We will be there shortly.
(They arrive)
Jacob: Woah, this place is huge!
Shun: I know right!
Remington: Hm Kris, are we still assigned with the same people from the air ship?
Kris: Yes, you are still assigned with them.
Satsu’s mind: Great I’m still with Ronin.
Ryui’s mind: I still have the element of surprise, Jacob still does not know I’m here! When my match is up I will destroy my opponent’s bey to pieces then Jacob will see what he is up against!
Hanami: BLADERS, THE MATCH TODAY WILL BE FUKUI VS AUSTIN!!!
(Shun runs up to Austin)
Austin: Oh, hey shun!
Shun: Hey, good luck on your match!
Austin: Thanks!
Helper: Here you go everyone a map on where to go!
(Lots of people come to take there maps)
Austin: **looks at map** Hm the training room is not far from here!
(Austin heads to the training room).
Jacob: I’m heading to the dorms!
Shun: Same here I need to unpack my bags.
Satsu: Okay, later guys!
(Meanwhile with Austin).
Fukui: FRAZER! Let’s go!
Austin’s mind: Huh someone is already here!
Austin: Mind if I join!
Fukui: Sure.
Austin: Woah, Cool Justice bey!
Fukui: Thanks, this is Faze Frazer!
Austin: Nice! This is my justice bey, Savage Aeolus!
awesome
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Beyblade Contest) - LegendJustice - Jul. 03, 2021
(Jul. 02, 2021 9:36 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: (Jul. 02, 2021 9:11 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 16 sorry if this feels lazy!
Battle Island
Captain: Attention, Bladers we are landing at battle island!
Shun: what’s battle island?
Captain: Due to legal reasons we will no longer be flying on the air ship instead we will land at this private island!
(Everyone starts talking along them selfs)
Hanami: He’s telling the truth!!! I’m gonna leave the rest to Kris from BC sol!
Kris: Thank you, so what the captain said is true battle island is a huge island **shows picture on screen** you in this section we have the dorms it’s way more bigger and has more space, over here we have the training room you are allowed to train here, then we have the battle room where matches will be called and bladers battle! And then we have the storage room.
Captain: We will be there shortly.
(They arrive)
Jacob: Woah, this place is huge!
Shun: I know right!
Remington: Hm Kris, are we still assigned with the same people from the air ship?
Kris: Yes, you are still assigned with them.
Satsu’s mind: Great I’m still with Ronin.
Ryui’s mind: I still have the element of surprise, Jacob still does not know I’m here! When my match is up I will destroy my opponent’s bey to pieces then Jacob will see what he is up against!
Hanami: BLADERS, THE MATCH TODAY WILL BE FUKUI VS AUSTIN!!!
(Shun runs up to Austin)
Austin: Oh, hey shun!
Shun: Hey, good luck on your match!
Austin: Thanks!
Helper: Here you go everyone a map on where to go!
(Lots of people come to take there maps)
Austin: **looks at map** Hm the training room is not far from here!
(Austin heads to the training room).
Jacob: I’m heading to the dorms!
Shun: Same here I need to unpack my bags.
Satsu: Okay, later guys!
(Meanwhile with Austin).
Fukui: FRAZER! Let’s go!
Austin’s mind: Huh someone is already here!
Austin: Mind if I join!
Fukui: Sure.
Austin: Woah, Cool Justice bey!
Fukui: Thanks, this is Faze Frazer!
Austin: Nice! This is my justice bey, Savage Aeolus!
awesome
Thx mind rating?
|
