Fan Fiction Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - Printable Version +- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org) +-- Forum: Off-Topic Forums (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums) +--- Forum: Your Creations (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Your-Creations) +--- Thread: Fan Fiction Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} (/Thread-Fan-Fiction-Beyblade-Angels-A-Dark-Beyblade-Story) |
RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Sep. 01, 2021 (Sep. 01, 2021 3:15 AM)6Jupiter5 Wrote: I could offer you my critique, but I don’t think you would like it. DeltaZakuro would you like my advice? If you want, it makes no difference to me RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - 6Jupiter5 - Sep. 01, 2021 (Sep. 01, 2021 3:56 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote:(Sep. 01, 2021 3:15 AM)6Jupiter5 Wrote: I could offer you my critique, but I don’t think you would like it. DeltaZakuro would you like my advice? Alright. I feel like at the current state, there are quite a few issues. My first one being that there’s a lack of thematic elements being shown which is necessary for a dark show. My next complaint is 52 chapter count. This is a issue with a lot of fan ficus and even the Beyblade show where they have more episodes than they really need which leads to filler and less content time so try to cut down on episodes, but add more content (it’s okay if it takes longer than planned). Thirdly there’s too much battles and too little character development, try to balance it out. These are the things that I would change to make the story better. Just by the way do you even read the criticism? RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Sep. 18, 2021 New Episode will be out soon, ive got some nice surprises for the episode + the introduction of 2 new characters. Episode 9 https://www.wattpad.com/1131414930-beyblade-angels-episode-9-the-dragons-revenge UnseenBurst and GenesisBlader Oh yeah, Akira is the main antagonist. but i think you might've figured that out already. RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - GenesisBlader - Sep. 19, 2021 (Sep. 18, 2021 10:55 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: New Episode will be out soon, ive got some nice surprises for the episode + the introduction of 2 new characters. lol i simply believe that romance is indeed in the air with alena and haiden lolol (jk) but i liked this chapter, and here's a few reasons why: Spoiler (Click to View) RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - UnseenBurst - Sep. 19, 2021 (Sep. 18, 2021 10:55 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: New Episode will be out soon, ive got some nice surprises for the episode + the introduction of 2 new characters. Spoiler (Click to View) RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Sep. 19, 2021 Replying to GenesisBlader Spoiler (Click to View) Spoiler (Click to View) RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Sep. 24, 2021 Ava Akaba Age: 11 Height: 5'1" Weight: 107lbs Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Maroon (Turns bright red when resonating) Appearance: Ava is a small girl who has a small and petite figure. She wears a white t-shirt with a red jacket with the letter A imprinted on the front and back, she wears black jeans with some small frays in them and she wears blue tennis shoes. She has a red upside down letter on the top of her head and 2 upside down red triangles under her eyes Personality: Ava is often very kind to a lot of people she meets but her shyness usually gets in the way and she doesnt have many friends because of this. When in battle, her personality gets extremely explosive as her intense bond with her Achilles often fuels her power to great levels. Bey: Ultimate Achilles.Convert.Dimension'-Shield/-Blade (Bio on this soon) Special Moves Ultimate Buster - Achilles rushes up the slope of the stadium and races back down and deals an incredible smash attack Ultimate Shield - Achilles surrounds itself with an orb of energy which blocks it from any oncoming attacks Ultimate Sword - Using the -Blade Metal Ring, Achilles channels all its power into its 2 swords for a devastating attack RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Sep. 25, 2021 Episode 10 https://www.wattpad.com/1131556476-beyblade-angels-episode-10-decisive-strike-crusher RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Sep. 27, 2021 Upcoming Episodes Episode 11: The Black Thunderbolt! Havoc Satan!! Episode 12: Anahel VS Satan!! Episode 13: Axe Of Raging Fire! Enchanted Spriggan! Episode 14: Destructive Clash! Alena VS Selena!! Episode 15: The Crimson Bey Of Evil! Fallen Abaddon! Episode 16: Evil Flames! Fallen Inferno!! Episode 17: Road To Victory! Star Dragon! Episode 18: The Next Super Z! Ultimate Achilles! Episode 19: Rushing Awakening! Anahel VS Achilles!! RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - UnseenBurst - Sep. 27, 2021 (Sep. 25, 2021 4:46 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Episode 10 I have one thing to say about this chapter. Haiden I swear in Valt Aoi's name if you don't turn around and get your Bey back the Shu Kurenai will destroy the next Bey you get RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Sep. 27, 2021 (Sep. 27, 2021 3:58 AM)UnseenBurst Wrote:(Sep. 25, 2021 4:46 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Episode 10 Haiden actually abandoned Horogium for a pretty good reason which will be explained in the next episode. RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - 6Jupiter5 - Sep. 27, 2021 I still feel like you’ve missed on the main essence of a dark story. That’s all I’m going to say writer to writer. RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - JCE_13 - Sep. 27, 2021 (Sep. 27, 2021 4:45 AM)6Jupiter5 Wrote: I still feel like you’ve missed on the main essence of a dark story. That’s all I’m going to say writer to writer. Try to remember constructive criticism, especially when you are criticizing a topic like writing, that people work very hard on. RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - 6Jupiter5 - Sep. 27, 2021 (Sep. 27, 2021 4:54 AM)JCE_13 Wrote:(Sep. 27, 2021 4:45 AM)6Jupiter5 Wrote: I still feel like you’ve missed on the main essence of a dark story. That’s all I’m going to say writer to writer. I have given my constructive criticism above hence the still RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - JCE_13 - Sep. 27, 2021 (Sep. 27, 2021 4:59 AM)6Jupiter5 Wrote:(Sep. 27, 2021 4:54 AM)JCE_13 Wrote: Try to remember constructive criticism, especially when you are criticizing a topic like writing, that people work very hard on. I understand, but maybe you should bring it to PMs. RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Oct. 20, 2021 New episode out soon RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Oct. 21, 2021 After reading back over Jupiters posts in this thread, ive finally just decided to make a response because im bored and i also just don't want anymore misconceptions regarding the story. (6Jupiter5 if you read this, this not me calling you out at all. this is merely a response and a bit of clarification) The "Dark" In ~A Dark Beyblade Story~ refers to Alena being a darker and more sinister protagonist and she does have quite a few dark moments and will continue to have them. A dark story normally has very strong themes like the following: "horror of war, drugs, people trafficking, child abuse, genocide, terrible crimes, and terrorism" which is all stuff from a post Jupiter made in this thread and i personally don't believe that has anything to really do with this story, after all this is a Beyblade fanfic and such topics have no place in Beyblade and like you said, sensitive or explicit topics are not allowed on WBO but either way, they'd be posted on Wattpad anyway so i believe thats my way around that if i had used elements like those. Another thing to note, Alena is pretty much the epitome of darkness and all things evil and that is what "~A Dark Beyblade Story~" refers to, it simply just refers to Alenas darkness and the overwhelming power she holds and I like to think she is what we all thought Bell would be RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - 6Jupiter5 - Oct. 21, 2021 (Oct. 21, 2021 4:42 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: After reading back over Jupiters posts in this thread, ive finally just decided to make a response because im bored and i also just don't want anymore misconceptions regarding the story. (6Jupiter5 if you read this, this not me calling you out at all. this is merely a response and a bit of clarification) Thanks for clarifying. I’ll try to give better feedback for the story. But I just had a question, what exactly is the theme? I had a hard time figuring it out and still haven’t found it out. Regardless keep on writing. RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Oct. 21, 2021 (Oct. 21, 2021 5:06 AM)6Jupiter5 Wrote:(Oct. 21, 2021 4:42 AM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: After reading back over Jupiters posts in this thread, ive finally just decided to make a response because im bored and i also just don't want anymore misconceptions regarding the story. (6Jupiter5 if you read this, this not me calling you out at all. this is merely a response and a bit of clarification) For now its unknown since I haven't planned ahead that far yet but I don't think y'all will be disappointed. RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Nov. 25, 2021 New episode coming December 1st RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Dec. 12, 2021 Apologies for no new content, been busy with some irl things and have been working tirelessly on Story Of Lanes Sister. New content is in the works right now and i'm also planning big things for the coming arc. Stay tuned, new episode should drop within coming weeks. RE: Beyblade: Angels {~A Dark Beyblade Story~} - DeltaZakuro - Dec. 16, 2021 Custom Products Part 1 March (Releases 3/29) B-01 DX Starter Crusher Anahel.Dk.Nr-Massacre B-02 Booster Canon Horogium.0B.Y-Warp April (Releases 4/28) B-03 Booster Cosmic Valkyrie.12V.Rb'-Sword B-04 Random Booster Vol.1 Flame Ragnaruk.Ω.Et-Wing May (Releases 5/17) B-05 Booster Phantom Fafnir.Rt.Ab-Drain June (Releases 6/24) B-06 Booster Havoc Satan.Hr.Rl-Hell B-07 Booster Enchanted Spriggan.St.Qt'-Axe B-00 Destruction Metal Ring July (Releases 7/4 (Starter), 7/26 (RB) ) B-08 Starter Fallen Abaddon.0D.αl' B-09 Random Booster Vol.2 Star Dragon.Ig'-Awakening |