RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - kai edits - Jul. 14, 2020
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:04 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: (Jul. 14, 2020 5:03 PM)kai edits Wrote: Why shu
Is it shun kurenai? No. It is Shu Kurenai. Hate to break it to ya, but the fan fiction writers here aren’t going to idolize your OCs.
I hate shu kurenai in the anime and in fanfics
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:05 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: (Jul. 14, 2020 5:03 PM)kai edits Wrote: Why shu
Is it shun kurenai?
His name in this fan fic is Shu Kurenai. He in this crossover universe is the role of Dio. My fan fic is a crossover of Beyblade Burst and JoJo. Your character would have to have the name Akira Kurenai because Dio Brando never existed in this fan fiction as Shu Kurenai took that role on because this is a crossover fan fic. So my character name is akira kurenai or shu I'm confused
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - CheetoBlader - Jul. 14, 2020
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:05 PM)kai edits Wrote: (Jul. 14, 2020 5:04 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: No. It is Shu Kurenai. Hate to break it to ya, but the fan fiction writers here aren’t going to idolize your OCs.
I hate shu kurenai in the anime and in fanfics Good for you. This isn’t your fan fiction, and if you don’t like certain choices, move along, and stay out of this thread.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - BuilderROB - Jul. 14, 2020
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:05 PM)kai edits Wrote: (Jul. 14, 2020 5:04 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: No. It is Shu Kurenai. Hate to break it to ya, but the fan fiction writers here aren’t going to idolize your OCs.
I hate shu kurenai in the anime and in fanfics
I’m sorry if you don’t like how I portrayed Shu Kurenai in this fan fic, but if you want your character to be the daughter of the character that replaces Dio, this is how it’s gotta be.
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:05 PM)kai edits Wrote: So my character name is akira kurenai or shu I'm confused
Your character’s name will be Akira Kurenai.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - kai edits - Jul. 14, 2020
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:06 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: (Jul. 14, 2020 5:05 PM)kai edits Wrote: I hate shu kurenai in the anime and in fanfics Good for you. This isn’t your fan fiction, and if you don’t like certain choices, move along, and stay out of this thread. First of all I know that and second idc about what you said it's the fanfic makers choice and third if your gonna act like idc good day sir/ma'am
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:07 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: (Jul. 14, 2020 5:05 PM)kai edits Wrote: I hate shu kurenai in the anime and in fanfics
I’m sorry if you don’t like how I portrayed Shu Kurenai in this fan fic, but if you want your character to be the daughter of the character that replaces Dio, this is how it’s gotta be.
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:05 PM)kai edits Wrote: So my character name is akira kurenai or shu I'm confused
Your character’s name will be Akira Kurenai.
Oh i get it now I got mad because I thought my character name is shu. Sorry about that. You know that akira kurenai is one of my character in my fanfic(I'm not promoting it so cheetoblader dont say that)
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - CheetoBlader - Jul. 14, 2020
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:09 PM)kai edits Wrote: (Jul. 14, 2020 5:06 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: Good for you. This isn’t your fan fiction, and if you don’t like certain choices, move along, and stay out of this thread. First of all I know that and second idc about what you said it's the fanfic makers choice and third if your gonna act like idc good day sir/ma'am
I have no idea what you just said.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - kai edits - Jul. 14, 2020
(Jul. 14, 2020 5:11 PM)CheetoBlader Wrote: (Jul. 14, 2020 5:09 PM)kai edits Wrote: First of all I know that and second idc about what you said it's the fanfic makers choice and third if your gonna act like idc good day sir/ma'am
I have no idea what you just said.
? I was confused can a guy make a mistake
(Jul. 02, 2020 4:47 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: Chapter 9 will be done soon. Until then, here is a drawing of Valt from Part 1 of ABBA:
nigerundayo(run away) valt
Your next line is you cursed Kai edits
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - BuilderROB - Jul. 22, 2020
Chapter 10: One Final Overdrive
Chapter 10: One Final Overdrive
Ken: “Valt! Help me pull this out!”
*Valt had just defeated Shu. He had beheaded him, and his head had fallen into a river. Storm Spriggan had been laying beside a wall, the relic still inside its core. Ken was trying to pull the core out, but with no success*
Valt: “Just give me the bey real quick.”
*Ken handed the bey to Valt, who proceeded to grab the core with has bare fingers. Valt pulled hard, and managed to pull the core out. Unfortunately, Valt did not have a very good grip on Storm Spriggan, and Spriggan went flying into the river as well*
Zac: “Good riddance to any bey that was Shu’s.”
*Valt drew a tear for Shu, his brother turned evil by this world. Ken went to the bottom of the castle and placed the relic on a rock. His took his boot to it and smashed the relic into several pieces. No one would ever try to become a zombified beast again and try to conquer the world*
‘One month later, in Ken’s vacation home he was staying at for the time being’
‘Dear friends,
As you know, I’ve quit my life of evil and decided to travel with a new friend of mine, Valt, to take down this beast that went by the name of Shu. Valt ended up striking him down, and now this world is saved thanks to him. Valt decided to get back to his lover, Krystal, and married her. Now they’re going on a honeymoon to the America’s. I’m sure they’ll enjoy themselves, and I decided to rent a vacation home to see them off. In fact,’
*Ken looked at his watch on his right wrist. The hands said 7:55 AM*
Ken: “Their ship is leaving in five minutes!?”
‘Looks like the ship is leaving in five minutes, so I’ll end the note off here. By the way, I go by Kensuke now.
Sincerely, Kensuke’
*Kensuke rushed off to the docks, hoping he could make it in time. He had tried to get as close to the docks as possible, but the area was popular and so it was hard to rent a house close to the oceans, where people usually liked the view of. Kensuke jumped over many fences to get to the dock as fast as possible. Finally he belly slid under two people carrying a chest onto the same ship Valt and Krystal were boarding on. Kensuke jumped onto his feet and patted the concrete ground off of his formal clothes*
Lui: “Kensuke! What took you so long?”
Kensuke: “I was writing a letter and lost track of time.”
Lui: “Well, the ship is about to leave! Go say goodbye to the two.”
Zac: “Lui, the ship is already leaving.”
Lui: “Oh. Guess you’ll have to wave goodbye to them from here then.”
Kensuke: “Goodbye, Valt! Goodbye, Krystal! May your honeymoon be great!”
Valt: “See ya, Kensuke!”
Krystal: “Thanks, Kensuke! See you later!”
*The couple stood side by side and waved goodbye to the group that accompanied Valt on his journey. The two decided breakfast was a good idea and went down to the restaurant within the ship. They were seated immediately and awaited a waiter*
Valt: “My Father’s fortune really did us a favor!”
Krystal: “I’m just glad this whole mess of yours is over. Now we can finally relax and enjoy just the two of us.”
*Valt looked around the restaurant, of course seeing people in suits and tuxedos. One, however, stood out to him. In fact, it was a man of average size. It looked like he was hiding something, and he resembled Wakiya a great amount. In fact, the man looked just like Wakiya. Valt rubber his eyes, thinking it was a hallucination of some sort. He looked again and still saw Wakiya. He knew his eyes weren’t playing tricks now. Wakiya saw Valt, and immediately ran to the door that lead downstairs*
Valt: “Hang on, Krystal, I need to go do something. I’ll be right back.”
*Valt ran to the door Wakiya had went through a few seconds earlier and opened it. He shut it behind him and left Krystal confused for about a minute*
Krystal (Thinking): “That’s not like Valt to do something like that. It’s not the bathroom door either. Something’s up.”
*Krystal hurried to the door and opened it, shutting it behind her*
...
*Valt was chasing after Wakiya, Wakiya running all the way down to the boiler room and revealing his hidden object*
Valt: “Sh-Sh-Shu!?”
*Wakiya was holding Shu’s head, which was inside of a container which kept him alive with just his head*
Shu: “Surprised, Valt? I told you, I’ll fight you with just my head if I have to!”
*Wakiya caught Valt off guard and launched Wild Wyvern expertly. Valt launched Victory Valkyrie, who Valt kept with him just in case, and tried to deflect Wyvern. Valkyrie was sent flying into the room’s wall and Valt attempted to dodge Wyvern. Wyvern barely grazed Valt’s neck, but it was enough to make him lose his breath. Valt fell on his knee, and gasped for air*
Shu: “I’ve been training Wakiya this past month to become stronger, and it looks like it paid off! Because my body is no more, I shall take yours and live on to take over the world!”
Valt (Wheezing for air): I...won’t let you!”
*Valt grabbed Victory Valkyrie and put all of his Bey Spirit into it. He then launched hard towards Wakiya*
Valt: “Valkyrie! Victory Launch Overdrive!”
*Victory Valkyrie bounced towards Wakiya. Wakiya launched Wild Wyvern, but Wyvern was immediately deflected by Valkyrie, and Valkyrie went right through Wakiya’s brain, instantly dropping to the ground and killing him. Valt dropped to the floor in a sitting position. Krystal then arrived at the boiler room and saw Valt’s condition*
Krystal: “Valt!”
Shu: “Look who it is! Wakiya has already infected the people inside their rooms, o it’s only a matter of time before the entire ship is zombified! Now you can watch Valt die as I take his body!”
*The zombified beasts started to appear. People who weren’t zombified yet were running everywhere to get away from the zombified beasts. Some had even ran to the boiler room. The ship began to fall apart in the hands of the zombified beasts, who started to tear apart the ship’s internals. One woman with a baby in the boiler room was running down the stairs and was crushed by a vent*
Valt: “Krystal, s-save yourself while you still can.”
Krystal: “I refuse! I had wanted to die by your side, so do so I will!”
Valt: “But you can escape. I’m done for, and also, that woman who is crushed over there managed to save their baby. Take that baby, hide in that chest over there to your right, and make it to shore. The chest should be strong enough to survive any explosions should the ship do so. Take my Victory Valkyrie, and give it to our child. May they make great use of Valkyrie.”
*Valt was barely hanging on, still gasping for air and barely getting any. Valt handed Krystal Victory Valkyrie, to which Krystal took. Shu’s head came tumbling towards Valt as the ship started to turn to one side. Krystal fled and took the baby from the crushed mother. The baby was still crying, and Krystal hid in the chest. Shu clung onto Valt using his teeth, and Storm Spriggan was inside Shu’s neck. He had kept Spriggan inside there for this very moment. The ship started to catch on fire, and the boiler room did as well. Valt grabbed Shu’s head, and did not let go. Shu let go of Valt*
Shu: “Valt, please do not do this! You can still see Krystal again if you give me your body.”
Valt: “Over my dead body. Heh heh. It almost feels like we’re bonding”
*Valt’s head swung forward and went limp. He took his final breath in and out, and died. Shu realized this and knew it was probably over. A few seconds later, the ship exploded, killing all the zombified beasts on it. Ship parts flew everywhere around the ocean area. The chest Krystal was hiding in managed to survive in one piece. A few minutes later, Krystal opened the chest slightly and peeked out. All she saw was endless ocean*
Krystal (Thinking): “I hope I come across land eventually. Otherwise I did this for nothing.”
*After half a day, the chest finally came across a small island, which was luckily inhabited by a town. Krystal was lucky to have some money on her so she could buy some food. A captain offered to take her back to England, where she could return to her family and raise her now two babies, one still not born yet. She accepted, and sailed to her home country*
The End...for now.
Coming Soon: Part 2 of A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Valkyrie Tendency
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - daheavydl3 - Jul. 22, 2020
(Jul. 22, 2020 1:58 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: Chapter 10: One Final Overdrive
Chapter 10: One Final Overdrive
Ken: “Valt! Help me pull this out!”
*Valt had just defeated Shu. He had beheaded him, and his head had fallen into a river. Storm Spriggan had been laying beside a wall, the relic still inside its core. Ken was trying to pull the core out, but with no success*
Valt: “Just give me the bey real quick.”
*Ken handed the bey to Valt, who proceeded to grab the core with has bare fingers. Valt pulled hard, and managed to pull the core out. Unfortunately, Valt did not have a very good grip on Storm Spriggan, and Spriggan went flying into the river as well*
Zac: “Good riddance to any bey that was Shu’s.”
*Valt drew a tear for Shu, his brother turned evil by this world. Ken went to the bottom of the castle and placed the relic on a rock. His took his boot to it and smashed the relic into several pieces. No one would ever try to become a zombified beast again and try to conquer the world*
‘One month later, in Ken’s vacation home he was staying at for the time being’
‘Dear friends,
As you know, I’ve quit my life of evil and decided to travel with a new friend of mine, Valt, to take down this beast that went by the name of Shu. Valt ended up striking him down, and now this world is saved thanks to him. Valt decided to get back to his lover, Krystal, and married her. Now they’re going on a honeymoon to the America’s. I’m sure they’ll enjoy themselves, and I decided to rent a vacation home to see them off. In fact,’
*Ken looked at his watch on his right wrist. The hands said 7:55 AM*
Ken: “Their ship is leaving in five minutes!?”
‘Looks like the ship is leaving in five minutes, so I’ll end the note off here. By the way, I go by Kensuke now.
Sincerely, Kensuke’
*Kensuke rushed off to the docks, hoping he could make it in time. He had tried to get as close to the docks as possible, but the area was popular and so it was hard to rent a house close to the oceans, where people usually liked the view of. Kensuke jumped over many fences to get to the dock as fast as possible. Finally he belly slid under two people carrying a chest onto the same ship Valt and Krystal were boarding on. Kensuke jumped onto his feet and patted the concrete ground off of his formal clothes*
Lui: “Kensuke! What took you so long?”
Kensuke: “I was writing a letter and lost track of time.”
Lui: “Well, the ship is about to leave! Go say goodbye to the two.”
Zac: “Lui, the ship is already leaving.”
Lui: “Oh. Guess you’ll have to wave goodbye to them from here then.”
Kensuke: “Goodbye, Valt! Goodbye, Krystal! May your honeymoon be great!”
Valt: “See ya, Kensuke!”
Krystal: “Thanks, Kensuke! See you later!”
*The couple stood side by side and waved goodbye to the group that accompanied Valt on his journey. The two decided breakfast was a good idea and went down to the restaurant within the ship. They were seated immediately and awaited a waiter*
Valt: “My Father’s fortune really did us a favor!”
Krystal: “I’m just glad this whole mess of yours is over. Now we can finally relax and enjoy just the two of us.”
*Valt looked around the restaurant, of course seeing people in suits and tuxedos. One, however, stood out to him. In fact, it was a man of average size. It looked like he was hiding something, and he resembled Wakiya a great amount. In fact, the man looked just like Wakiya. Valt rubber his eyes, thinking it was a hallucination of some sort. He looked again and still saw Wakiya. He knew his eyes weren’t playing tricks now. Wakiya saw Valt, and immediately ran to the door that lead downstairs*
Valt: “Hang on, Krystal, I need to go do something. I’ll be right back.”
*Valt ran to the door Wakiya had went through a few seconds earlier and opened it. He shut it behind him and left Krystal confused for about a minute*
Krystal (Thinking): “That’s not like Valt to do something like that. It’s not the bathroom door either. Something’s up.”
*Krystal hurried to the door and opened it, shutting it behind her*
...
*Valt was chasing after Wakiya, Wakiya running all the way down to the boiler room and revealing his hidden object*
Valt: “Sh-Sh-Shu!?”
*Wakiya was holding Shu’s head, which was inside of a container which kept him alive with just his head*
Shu: “Surprised, Valt? I told you, I’ll fight you with just my head if I have to!”
*Wakiya caught Valt off guard and launched Wild Wyvern expertly. Valt launched Victory Valkyrie, who Valt kept with him just in case, and tried to deflect Wyvern. Valkyrie was sent flying into the room’s wall and Valt attempted to dodge Wyvern. Wyvern barely grazed Valt’s neck, but it was enough to make him lose his breath. Valt fell on his knee, and gasped for air*
Shu: “I’ve been training Wakiya this past month to become stronger, and it looks like it paid off! Because my body is no more, I shall take yours and live on to take over the world!”
Valt (Wheezing for air): I...won’t let you!”
*Valt grabbed Victory Valkyrie and put all of his Bey Spirit into it. He then launched hard towards Wakiya*
Valt: “Valkyrie! Victory Launch Overdrive!”
*Victory Valkyrie bounced towards Wakiya. Wakiya launched Wild Wyvern, but Wyvern was immediately deflected by Valkyrie, and Valkyrie went right through Wakiya’s brain, instantly dropping to the ground and killing him. Valt dropped to the floor in a sitting position. Krystal then arrived at the boiler room and saw Valt’s condition*
Krystal: “Valt!”
Shu: “Look who it is! Wakiya has already infected the people inside their rooms, o it’s only a matter of time before the entire ship is zombified! Now you can watch Valt die as I take his body!”
*The zombified beasts started to appear. People who weren’t zombified yet were running everywhere to get away from the zombified beasts. Some had even ran to the boiler room. The ship began to fall apart in the hands of the zombified beasts, who started to tear apart the ship’s internals. One woman with a baby in the boiler room was running down the stairs and was crushed by a vent*
Valt: “Krystal, s-save yourself while you still can.”
Krystal: “I refuse! I had wanted to die by your side, so do so I will!”
Valt: “But you can escape. I’m done for, and also, that woman who is crushed over there managed to save their baby. Take that baby, hide in that chest over there to your right, and make it to shore. The chest should be strong enough to survive any explosions should the ship do so. Take my Victory Valkyrie, and give it to our child. May they make great use of Valkyrie.”
*Valt was barely hanging on, still gasping for air and barely getting any. Valt handed Krystal Victory Valkyrie, to which Krystal took. Shu’s head came tumbling towards Valt as the ship started to turn to one side. Krystal fled and took the baby from the crushed mother. The baby was still crying, and Krystal hid in the chest. Shu clung onto Valt using his teeth, and Storm Spriggan was inside Shu’s neck. He had kept Spriggan inside there for this very moment. The ship started to catch on fire, and the boiler room did as well. Valt grabbed Shu’s head, and did not let go. Shu let go of Valt*
Shu: “Valt, please do not do this! You can still see Krystal again if you give me your body.”
Valt: “Over my dead body. Heh heh. It almost feels like we’re bonding”
*Valt’s head swung forward and went limp. He took his final breath in and out, and died. Shu realized this and knew it was probably over. A few seconds later, the ship exploded, killing all the zombified beasts on it. Ship parts flew everywhere around the ocean area. The chest Krystal was hiding in managed to survive in one piece. A few minutes later, Krystal opened the chest slightly and peeked out. All she saw was endless ocean*
Krystal (Thinking): “I hope I come across land eventually. Otherwise I did this for nothing.”
*After half a day, the chest finally came across a small island, which was luckily inhabited by a town. Krystal was lucky to have some money on her so she could buy some food. A captain offered to take her back to England, where she could return to her family and raise her now two babies, one still not born yet. She accepted, and sailed to her home country*
The End...for now.
Coming Soon: Part 2 of A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Valkyrie Tendency
me after Reading this:*Michael Jordan crying intensifies*
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - DeltaZakuro - Jul. 22, 2020
(Jul. 22, 2020 1:58 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: Chapter 10: One Final Overdrive
Chapter 10: One Final Overdrive
Ken: “Valt! Help me pull this out!”
*Valt had just defeated Shu. He had beheaded him, and his head had fallen into a river. Storm Spriggan had been laying beside a wall, the relic still inside its core. Ken was trying to pull the core out, but with no success*
Valt: “Just give me the bey real quick.”
*Ken handed the bey to Valt, who proceeded to grab the core with has bare fingers. Valt pulled hard, and managed to pull the core out. Unfortunately, Valt did not have a very good grip on Storm Spriggan, and Spriggan went flying into the river as well*
Zac: “Good riddance to any bey that was Shu’s.”
*Valt drew a tear for Shu, his brother turned evil by this world. Ken went to the bottom of the castle and placed the relic on a rock. His took his boot to it and smashed the relic into several pieces. No one would ever try to become a zombified beast again and try to conquer the world*
‘One month later, in Ken’s vacation home he was staying at for the time being’
‘Dear friends,
As you know, I’ve quit my life of evil and decided to travel with a new friend of mine, Valt, to take down this beast that went by the name of Shu. Valt ended up striking him down, and now this world is saved thanks to him. Valt decided to get back to his lover, Krystal, and married her. Now they’re going on a honeymoon to the America’s. I’m sure they’ll enjoy themselves, and I decided to rent a vacation home to see them off. In fact,’
*Ken looked at his watch on his right wrist. The hands said 7:55 AM*
Ken: “Their ship is leaving in five minutes!?”
‘Looks like the ship is leaving in five minutes, so I’ll end the note off here. By the way, I go by Kensuke now.
Sincerely, Kensuke’
*Kensuke rushed off to the docks, hoping he could make it in time. He had tried to get as close to the docks as possible, but the area was popular and so it was hard to rent a house close to the oceans, where people usually liked the view of. Kensuke jumped over many fences to get to the dock as fast as possible. Finally he belly slid under two people carrying a chest onto the same ship Valt and Krystal were boarding on. Kensuke jumped onto his feet and patted the concrete ground off of his formal clothes*
Lui: “Kensuke! What took you so long?”
Kensuke: “I was writing a letter and lost track of time.”
Lui: “Well, the ship is about to leave! Go say goodbye to the two.”
Zac: “Lui, the ship is already leaving.”
Lui: “Oh. Guess you’ll have to wave goodbye to them from here then.”
Kensuke: “Goodbye, Valt! Goodbye, Krystal! May your honeymoon be great!”
Valt: “See ya, Kensuke!”
Krystal: “Thanks, Kensuke! See you later!”
*The couple stood side by side and waved goodbye to the group that accompanied Valt on his journey. The two decided breakfast was a good idea and went down to the restaurant within the ship. They were seated immediately and awaited a waiter*
Valt: “My Father’s fortune really did us a favor!”
Krystal: “I’m just glad this whole mess of yours is over. Now we can finally relax and enjoy just the two of us.”
*Valt looked around the restaurant, of course seeing people in suits and tuxedos. One, however, stood out to him. In fact, it was a man of average size. It looked like he was hiding something, and he resembled Wakiya a great amount. In fact, the man looked just like Wakiya. Valt rubber his eyes, thinking it was a hallucination of some sort. He looked again and still saw Wakiya. He knew his eyes weren’t playing tricks now. Wakiya saw Valt, and immediately ran to the door that lead downstairs*
Valt: “Hang on, Krystal, I need to go do something. I’ll be right back.”
*Valt ran to the door Wakiya had went through a few seconds earlier and opened it. He shut it behind him and left Krystal confused for about a minute*
Krystal (Thinking): “That’s not like Valt to do something like that. It’s not the bathroom door either. Something’s up.”
*Krystal hurried to the door and opened it, shutting it behind her*
...
*Valt was chasing after Wakiya, Wakiya running all the way down to the boiler room and revealing his hidden object*
Valt: “Sh-Sh-Shu!?”
*Wakiya was holding Shu’s head, which was inside of a container which kept him alive with just his head*
Shu: “Surprised, Valt? I told you, I’ll fight you with just my head if I have to!”
*Wakiya caught Valt off guard and launched Wild Wyvern expertly. Valt launched Victory Valkyrie, who Valt kept with him just in case, and tried to deflect Wyvern. Valkyrie was sent flying into the room’s wall and Valt attempted to dodge Wyvern. Wyvern barely grazed Valt’s neck, but it was enough to make him lose his breath. Valt fell on his knee, and gasped for air*
Shu: “I’ve been training Wakiya this past month to become stronger, and it looks like it paid off! Because my body is no more, I shall take yours and live on to take over the world!”
Valt (Wheezing for air): I...won’t let you!”
*Valt grabbed Victory Valkyrie and put all of his Bey Spirit into it. He then launched hard towards Wakiya*
Valt: “Valkyrie! Victory Launch Overdrive!”
*Victory Valkyrie bounced towards Wakiya. Wakiya launched Wild Wyvern, but Wyvern was immediately deflected by Valkyrie, and Valkyrie went right through Wakiya’s brain, instantly dropping to the ground and killing him. Valt dropped to the floor in a sitting position. Krystal then arrived at the boiler room and saw Valt’s condition*
Krystal: “Valt!”
Shu: “Look who it is! Wakiya has already infected the people inside their rooms, o it’s only a matter of time before the entire ship is zombified! Now you can watch Valt die as I take his body!”
*The zombified beasts started to appear. People who weren’t zombified yet were running everywhere to get away from the zombified beasts. Some had even ran to the boiler room. The ship began to fall apart in the hands of the zombified beasts, who started to tear apart the ship’s internals. One woman with a baby in the boiler room was running down the stairs and was crushed by a vent*
Valt: “Krystal, s-save yourself while you still can.”
Krystal: “I refuse! I had wanted to die by your side, so do so I will!”
Valt: “But you can escape. I’m done for, and also, that woman who is crushed over there managed to save their baby. Take that baby, hide in that chest over there to your right, and make it to shore. The chest should be strong enough to survive any explosions should the ship do so. Take my Victory Valkyrie, and give it to our child. May they make great use of Valkyrie.”
*Valt was barely hanging on, still gasping for air and barely getting any. Valt handed Krystal Victory Valkyrie, to which Krystal took. Shu’s head came tumbling towards Valt as the ship started to turn to one side. Krystal fled and took the baby from the crushed mother. The baby was still crying, and Krystal hid in the chest. Shu clung onto Valt using his teeth, and Storm Spriggan was inside Shu’s neck. He had kept Spriggan inside there for this very moment. The ship started to catch on fire, and the boiler room did as well. Valt grabbed Shu’s head, and did not let go. Shu let go of Valt*
Shu: “Valt, please do not do this! You can still see Krystal again if you give me your body.”
Valt: “Over my dead body. Heh heh. It almost feels like we’re bonding”
*Valt’s head swung forward and went limp. He took his final breath in and out, and died. Shu realized this and knew it was probably over. A few seconds later, the ship exploded, killing all the zombified beasts on it. Ship parts flew everywhere around the ocean area. The chest Krystal was hiding in managed to survive in one piece. A few minutes later, Krystal opened the chest slightly and peeked out. All she saw was endless ocean*
Krystal (Thinking): “I hope I come across land eventually. Otherwise I did this for nothing.”
*After half a day, the chest finally came across a small island, which was luckily inhabited by a town. Krystal was lucky to have some money on her so she could buy some food. A captain offered to take her back to England, where she could return to her family and raise her now two babies, one still not born yet. She accepted, and sailed to her home country*
The End...for now.
Coming Soon: Part 2 of A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Valkyrie Tendency Awesome story, can't wait for Part 2. Im assuming Toko is Joseph?
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - BuilderROB - Jul. 22, 2020
(Jul. 22, 2020 5:00 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: (Jul. 22, 2020 1:58 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: Chapter 10: One Final Overdrive
Chapter 10: One Final Overdrive
Ken: “Valt! Help me pull this out!”
*Valt had just defeated Shu. He had beheaded him, and his head had fallen into a river. Storm Spriggan had been laying beside a wall, the relic still inside its core. Ken was trying to pull the core out, but with no success*
Valt: “Just give me the bey real quick.”
*Ken handed the bey to Valt, who proceeded to grab the core with has bare fingers. Valt pulled hard, and managed to pull the core out. Unfortunately, Valt did not have a very good grip on Storm Spriggan, and Spriggan went flying into the river as well*
Zac: “Good riddance to any bey that was Shu’s.”
*Valt drew a tear for Shu, his brother turned evil by this world. Ken went to the bottom of the castle and placed the relic on a rock. His took his boot to it and smashed the relic into several pieces. No one would ever try to become a zombified beast again and try to conquer the world*
‘One month later, in Ken’s vacation home he was staying at for the time being’
‘Dear friends,
As you know, I’ve quit my life of evil and decided to travel with a new friend of mine, Valt, to take down this beast that went by the name of Shu. Valt ended up striking him down, and now this world is saved thanks to him. Valt decided to get back to his lover, Krystal, and married her. Now they’re going on a honeymoon to the America’s. I’m sure they’ll enjoy themselves, and I decided to rent a vacation home to see them off. In fact,’
*Ken looked at his watch on his right wrist. The hands said 7:55 AM*
Ken: “Their ship is leaving in five minutes!?”
‘Looks like the ship is leaving in five minutes, so I’ll end the note off here. By the way, I go by Kensuke now.
Sincerely, Kensuke’
*Kensuke rushed off to the docks, hoping he could make it in time. He had tried to get as close to the docks as possible, but the area was popular and so it was hard to rent a house close to the oceans, where people usually liked the view of. Kensuke jumped over many fences to get to the dock as fast as possible. Finally he belly slid under two people carrying a chest onto the same ship Valt and Krystal were boarding on. Kensuke jumped onto his feet and patted the concrete ground off of his formal clothes*
Lui: “Kensuke! What took you so long?”
Kensuke: “I was writing a letter and lost track of time.”
Lui: “Well, the ship is about to leave! Go say goodbye to the two.”
Zac: “Lui, the ship is already leaving.”
Lui: “Oh. Guess you’ll have to wave goodbye to them from here then.”
Kensuke: “Goodbye, Valt! Goodbye, Krystal! May your honeymoon be great!”
Valt: “See ya, Kensuke!”
Krystal: “Thanks, Kensuke! See you later!”
*The couple stood side by side and waved goodbye to the group that accompanied Valt on his journey. The two decided breakfast was a good idea and went down to the restaurant within the ship. They were seated immediately and awaited a waiter*
Valt: “My Father’s fortune really did us a favor!”
Krystal: “I’m just glad this whole mess of yours is over. Now we can finally relax and enjoy just the two of us.”
*Valt looked around the restaurant, of course seeing people in suits and tuxedos. One, however, stood out to him. In fact, it was a man of average size. It looked like he was hiding something, and he resembled Wakiya a great amount. In fact, the man looked just like Wakiya. Valt rubber his eyes, thinking it was a hallucination of some sort. He looked again and still saw Wakiya. He knew his eyes weren’t playing tricks now. Wakiya saw Valt, and immediately ran to the door that lead downstairs*
Valt: “Hang on, Krystal, I need to go do something. I’ll be right back.”
*Valt ran to the door Wakiya had went through a few seconds earlier and opened it. He shut it behind him and left Krystal confused for about a minute*
Krystal (Thinking): “That’s not like Valt to do something like that. It’s not the bathroom door either. Something’s up.”
*Krystal hurried to the door and opened it, shutting it behind her*
...
*Valt was chasing after Wakiya, Wakiya running all the way down to the boiler room and revealing his hidden object*
Valt: “Sh-Sh-Shu!?”
*Wakiya was holding Shu’s head, which was inside of a container which kept him alive with just his head*
Shu: “Surprised, Valt? I told you, I’ll fight you with just my head if I have to!”
*Wakiya caught Valt off guard and launched Wild Wyvern expertly. Valt launched Victory Valkyrie, who Valt kept with him just in case, and tried to deflect Wyvern. Valkyrie was sent flying into the room’s wall and Valt attempted to dodge Wyvern. Wyvern barely grazed Valt’s neck, but it was enough to make him lose his breath. Valt fell on his knee, and gasped for air*
Shu: “I’ve been training Wakiya this past month to become stronger, and it looks like it paid off! Because my body is no more, I shall take yours and live on to take over the world!”
Valt (Wheezing for air): I...won’t let you!”
*Valt grabbed Victory Valkyrie and put all of his Bey Spirit into it. He then launched hard towards Wakiya*
Valt: “Valkyrie! Victory Launch Overdrive!”
*Victory Valkyrie bounced towards Wakiya. Wakiya launched Wild Wyvern, but Wyvern was immediately deflected by Valkyrie, and Valkyrie went right through Wakiya’s brain, instantly dropping to the ground and killing him. Valt dropped to the floor in a sitting position. Krystal then arrived at the boiler room and saw Valt’s condition*
Krystal: “Valt!”
Shu: “Look who it is! Wakiya has already infected the people inside their rooms, o it’s only a matter of time before the entire ship is zombified! Now you can watch Valt die as I take his body!”
*The zombified beasts started to appear. People who weren’t zombified yet were running everywhere to get away from the zombified beasts. Some had even ran to the boiler room. The ship began to fall apart in the hands of the zombified beasts, who started to tear apart the ship’s internals. One woman with a baby in the boiler room was running down the stairs and was crushed by a vent*
Valt: “Krystal, s-save yourself while you still can.”
Krystal: “I refuse! I had wanted to die by your side, so do so I will!”
Valt: “But you can escape. I’m done for, and also, that woman who is crushed over there managed to save their baby. Take that baby, hide in that chest over there to your right, and make it to shore. The chest should be strong enough to survive any explosions should the ship do so. Take my Victory Valkyrie, and give it to our child. May they make great use of Valkyrie.”
*Valt was barely hanging on, still gasping for air and barely getting any. Valt handed Krystal Victory Valkyrie, to which Krystal took. Shu’s head came tumbling towards Valt as the ship started to turn to one side. Krystal fled and took the baby from the crushed mother. The baby was still crying, and Krystal hid in the chest. Shu clung onto Valt using his teeth, and Storm Spriggan was inside Shu’s neck. He had kept Spriggan inside there for this very moment. The ship started to catch on fire, and the boiler room did as well. Valt grabbed Shu’s head, and did not let go. Shu let go of Valt*
Shu: “Valt, please do not do this! You can still see Krystal again if you give me your body.”
Valt: “Over my dead body. Heh heh. It almost feels like we’re bonding”
*Valt’s head swung forward and went limp. He took his final breath in and out, and died. Shu realized this and knew it was probably over. A few seconds later, the ship exploded, killing all the zombified beasts on it. Ship parts flew everywhere around the ocean area. The chest Krystal was hiding in managed to survive in one piece. A few minutes later, Krystal opened the chest slightly and peeked out. All she saw was endless ocean*
Krystal (Thinking): “I hope I come across land eventually. Otherwise I did this for nothing.”
*After half a day, the chest finally came across a small island, which was luckily inhabited by a town. Krystal was lucky to have some money on her so she could buy some food. A captain offered to take her back to England, where she could return to her family and raise her now two babies, one still not born yet. She accepted, and sailed to her home country*
The End...for now.
Coming Soon: Part 2 of A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Valkyrie Tendency Awesome story, can't wait for Part 2. Im assuming Toko is Joseph?
I think Toko will actually replace George (Joseph’s Father). A new protagonist that is very similar to Valt in looks will come instead.
Just because I made one I will go ahead and post the summary for Part 2.
Part 2 Summary:
Valto is an 18 year old male who is the grandson of Valt Aoi. Both of his parents died, and so he resides with his Granny Krystal in New York, New York, in 1938. Since he was young, he’s used his smarts and trickery to outsmart bad guys he has encountered, usually a pocket thief or a robber. He owns his grandfather’s bey, which he worked on to evolve it into a bey he calls God Valkyrie. He commonly used God Valkyrie to aid in his trickery. His life is about to change when he gets involved in a situation that will require him to train to become the best blader around.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure: Dual Blood - Suoh sadboii - Jul. 23, 2020
(Jul. 22, 2020 5:14 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: (Jul. 22, 2020 5:00 PM)DeltaZakuro Wrote: Awesome story, can't wait for Part 2. Im assuming Toko is Joseph?
I think Toko will actually replace George (Joseph’s Father). A new protagonist that is very similar to Valt in looks will come instead.
Just because I made one I will go ahead and post the summary for Part 2.
Part 2 Summary:
Valto is an 18 year old male who is the grandson of Valt Aoi. Both of his parents died, and so he resides with his Granny Krystal in New York, New York, in 1938. Since he was young, he’s used his smarts and trickery to outsmart bad guys he has encountered, usually a pocket thief or a robber. He owns his grandfather’s bey, which he worked on to evolve it into a bey he calls God Valkyrie. He commonly used God Valkyrie to aid in his trickery. His life is about to change when he gets involved in a situation that will require him to train to become the best blader around.
Interesting! I'm thinking that the bound layer on God Valkyrie would be a good parallel with Joseph's hamon.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga - BuilderROB - Aug. 01, 2020
Part 2 Chapter 1: New York’s Valkyrie
Part 2 Chapter 1: New York’s Valkyrie
*Three older men were walking up some old, stone pillar stairs. The stairs were covered with moss, and the four older men were looking for relics. Specifically, God Chip relics. They had heard that some still existed, and wanted to destroy them so that no one could try and take over the world again. They finally arrived at the top, and found many of the God Chip relics*
Man with top hat: “This is a lot of the relics. We have to destroy every single one of these.”
Black-haired man: “There are so many of them, Kensuke. Not to mention that there seems to be a stone body here with a Bey encased in stone as well.”
Kensuke: “No matter, Lui. It’s time to do what we came here to do. Zac, Lui, start destroying the relics!”
*The three started destroying relics, or so it seemed. Zac came up to Kensuke and shot Zillion Zeus right at him. Kensuke deflected the shot with Kaiser Kerbeus and turned around to face Zac*
Kensuke: “I should have known you had evil intentions when you were hesitant to destroy the relics on our way here.”
*Zac launches Zillion Zeus right into Kensuke’s head, splitting it open. Kensuke felt o his knees and fell flat on the ground. Zac then went up to Lui next and launched Zillion Zeus right through his skull, killing him instantly. Zac the tore one of the relics out of the stone pillar and positioned Zillion Zeus right on his heart. He then put the relic on top of Zeus. He then covered the relic with blood. The relic reacted by breaking right through Zeus’ core and going right into Zac’s heart. He fell on the ground, and a few seconds later, had become a zombified beast*
Zac: “Now to get rid of them.”
*Zac threw the two bodies into the river, thinking they would eventually sink to the bottom, never to be seen again. Zac then left using the car they brought there*
*In New York, New York, a teen guy of 16 years old with darker skin was walking on a sidewalk in the inner part of the city. He noticed someone who didn’t seem to be paying much attention to his wallet, so he walked discreetly beside the young man, and swiftly stole the wallet. He started running quickly away from him. The young man noticed his wallet was stolen and started chasing after him. The teen guy was backed into an alleyway by two corrupt police officers*
Police Officer #1: “Well, well, well, what do we have here? A pickpocket? We’ll be sure to send you to jail for a while.”
Police Officer #2: “Looks like he needs a good ol’ whack in the head.”
*The second police officer got out his club and swung it at the teen guy. A beyblade swept right into the club and broke it in half. The Beyblade ricocheted into the brick wall and into a young man’s hands. It was the same young man who’s wallet was stolen by the teen guy*
Young Man: “What are you two doing picking on this guy? I’m giving you one chance to stop before I take action.”
Police Officer #1: “You think you’re gonna stop us? Just try! I’ll hit you with my club before you can interfere!”
*The first police officer got his club out and swung it at the young man. The young man squeezed his Beyblade and the God Chip popped out, breaking right through the club and slamming into the first police officer’s nose. His nose broke and started bleeding. The God Chip ricocheted back into the young man’s hand, and the first police officer held his hands to his nose*
Police Officer #1: “My nose! How dare you break my nose!”
*The second police officer threw a punch, to which he missed. The young man launched his Beyblade into the first police officer’s gut, making him pass out onto the ground. The second police officer also threw a punch, but this time the young man threw a punch to the face, in which the second police officer also passed out on the ground. The young man held out his hand to the teen guy, who was still crouching on the ground*
Young Man: “You need help? The name’s Valto. What’s yours?”
Teen Guy: “That was kind of cool, Valto. Mine is Rankarto. How did you do that thing with your Bey? Where the core popped out?”
Valto: “I think it’s called Bey Spirit. I know my grandfather was able to harness this power but not much else. I really only use it if I want to. It’s very unpredictable sometimes though.”
Rankarto: “I’ve never seen anyone do something like that.”
Valto: “Now, you need to give me back my wallet, mister.”
Rankarto: “Whatever. Here you go.”
*Rankarto looked away from Valto when he handed the wallet to him. Valto kindly took it from his hands*
Valto: “Despite what you did, I’d like to offer to take you to dinner, if you’d like to.”
Rankarto: “You serious? I’d love to!”
Valto: “Ok then! Follow me over to our apartment so I can let Granny Krystal know.”
Rankarto: “Your granny? Why your granny?”
Valto: “My parents died at a young age, so Granny Krystal took me in.”
Rankarto: “I see. Well I’m in for some free dinner myself!”
Valto: “Ok then. Follow me.”
*Rankarto followed Valto to his apartment. Rankarto formally greeted Valto’s granny and introduced himself*
Rankarto: “I’m Rankarto. Valto here beat up some corrupt police officers for me today that were gonna arrest me.”
*Granny Krystal slid down her glasses and gave Valto a stern look in her rocking chair*
“I’m gonna lay it to you straight, Valto. You’ve gotta stop beating up law enforcement. Even if they’re corrupt, it’s against the law. So please, just stop.”
Valto: “Heh heh. Alright then, Granny Krystal.”
*About an hour later, after some discussion, the three had someone from Kensuke’s new foundation send for a small cab. When it got there, the three stepped into the cab and went on their way*
Valto: “Granny Krystal, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
Granny Krystal: “Yes?”
Valto: “So about Uncle Kensuke. Granfather’s been dead since before my father was out of the womb. Kensuke is around the same age as you, so I was wondering maybe if you and him have a secret affair-“
Granny Krystal: “Shut your trap this instant boy!”
*Granny Krystal starts smacking Valto in the head with her cane. The cab driver took a glance at what was happening back there*
Cab Driver: “Is everything all right back there?”
Granny Krystal: “Of course. This young man just needs to have some sense beat into him sometimes.”
*About ten minutes later, they arrived at the restaurant, named Giorno’s Gelato’s. They restaurant was known for it’s delectable gelatos, but also for it’s tasty Italian food. The three were seated relatively quickly, and a waiter came to them quickly as well. They ordered, and half an hour later, they were served*
Valto: “What is the green sauce on my Lobster Spaghetti?”
Granny Krystal (Whispering): “I had the waiter put some wasabi sauce on your lobster spaghetti.”
Valto: “Granny Krystal, why do you do this?”
Granny Krystal: “Maybe don’t talk about me being in an affair. Such a ridiculous one at that.”
*Valto began indulging in the Spaghetti, beginning to realize the taste was delicious*
Valto: “The spicy flavor of the wasabi; It tastes great with the lobster spaghetti!”
Rankarto (Thinking): Regular old pasta is all I need. Just as I got.
Mafia Man: “You’ve got some plain taste there, don’t ya kid? You off the streets or something?”
*Valto stood up from where he was sitting*
Valto: “You talkin’ smack about my friend here?”
Mafia Man: “Friend? Heh heh. Some pathetic friend you got here.”
Valto: “Thinking about saying ‘I’ll crush you!’?”
Mafia Man: Wait, What!? How did he know-
Valto: “Thinking about saying ‘How did I know?’? It’s a special ability I’ve had since I was a kid. Now to show you a special ability of mine.”
*Valto pulled out his launch and put God Valkyrie on it. He launched Valkyrie and it slammed right into the mafia man’s stomach, knocking him right over. Valkyrie bounced back to Valto*
Valto: “Thinking about how my Bey didn’t go right through your stomach? It’s bound gimmick allows it to bounce off of things and knock them over, just like I did with you.”
Mafia Man: “Why you little-“
*A man from the Midori Foundation, Kensuke’s new foundation slammed the entrance door open to the restaurant*
Man: “Ms. Aoi! I have news for you!”
Granny Krystal: “About what?”
*The man walked to the table where the three had been sitting at*
Man: “It’s about Kensuke! He’s been killed by his old friend Zac!”
*Valto immediately turned his head to the man*
Valto: “Uncle Kensuke’s d-dead!? Nooooooooo!!!”
*Valto bent on his knees and yelled, tears rolling down his face. Strangely after the first yell and first pair of tears, his main grief was already gone*
Valto: “Zac’s gonna pay for this! I’ll make sure of it! Do you know of his whereabouts?”
Man: “Unfortunately not, Valto.”
*Just then, a Beyblade broke through the glass window of the restaurant and slammed into one of the tables. People started running out of the building quickly. Valto has observed what happened*
Valto: “That Beyblade, it looked like Zeus, but upgraded! Zac must be here!”
Zac: “Right you are, twinkle toes.”
*Valto looked over at the top of the front of the restaurant, still inside the restaurant. He say Zac hanging on the top with one arm*
Valto: “Twinkle toes? When have you ever called me that?”
Zac: “You’re nothing but a show off! That’s what I mean. With your magic tricks you think your combat skills are better. But wrong you are, twinkle toes!”
Valto: “Grrrr! Stop calling me that!”
*Valto launched God Valkyrie, this time with Bey Spirit flowing through it unintentionally. Zac deflected Valkyrie using his evolved Beyblade Galaxy Zeus*
Zac: “I told you, you’re just a show off with nothing to back you up, twinkle toes.”
Valto: “Alright that’s it! I’m not holding back anymore. Try calling me twinkle toes with your mouth full of lead!”
*Valto pulls out a machine gun from under the table and starts firing*
Valto: “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
*The machine gun fired off tens of bullets over the next several seconds. Zac was caught off guard and fell to ground, being pushed away by the bullets. Zac laid on the ground, seemingly dead. Valto walked over to Zac, but he was gone*
Valto: “This isn’t over, Zac! I will avenge Kensuke!”
To be continued in Part 2 Chapter 2: The Bey Expert
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - 6Jupiter5 - Aug. 01, 2020
I can’t wait for the ultimate Blader (ultimate Kars).
Also Jolyne is going to be kind of weird to do seeing as there has not been any female bladers with original beyblades. Nonetheless I still think that BuilderROB can pull it off.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - Suoh sadboii - Aug. 03, 2020
Nice chapter!
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - snoc - Aug. 03, 2020
(Aug. 01, 2020 5:41 PM)6Jupiter5 Wrote: I can’t wait for the ultimate Blader (ultimate Kars).
Also Jolyne is going to be kind of weird to do seeing as there has not been any female bladers with original beyblades. Nonetheless I still think that BuilderROB can pull it off.
Maybe Nika
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - BuilderROB - Aug. 21, 2020
Part 2 Chapter 2: The Bey Expert
Part 2 Chapter 2: The Bey Expert
*Valto had just shot at Zac with a mini gun to death, and had even seen him fall to the ground. Valto went over to where Zac’s body was and found it to be gone. Zac came out from behind and launched Galaxy Zeus. Valto has bent down so he accidentally avoided Zeus, which slammed into the concrete road*
Valto: “A lucky miss for me, I see!”
*Zac rushed towards Galaxy Zeus and launched again. This time Valto was ready, so he launched God Valkyrie and absorbed the attack using Valkyrie’s bound wings. Then God Valkyrie went into Zac’s right shoulder*
Zac: “How dare you get blood on my clothes!”
*Zac pulled God Valkyrie out of his shoulder and threw it onto the ground. Valto knew the bound wings would make Valkyrie bounce right into Valto’s hands*
Zac: “That’s one bouncy Beyblade of yours, Twinkletoes. However, Zeus’ exceptional stamina and weight isn’t something to kid about.
*Zac got serious and launched Galaxy Zeus on the ground. Valto launches God Valkyrie towards Zac and Zeus tilted onto the ground, and the uneven weight lifted it off the ground and into the air, letting it deflect Valkyrie. Valto has a trick up his sleeve, and so when Valkyrie hit the ground, it bounced towards Zac’s left leg, and Valto has launched Valkyrie with Bey Spirit pulsing through it, so when it went through Zac’s leg, it started to disintegrate more and more of his leg. Zac had to kneel on the ground, and was able to do so with one leg*
Zac: “There’s something I learned since I’ve become a zombified beast, Valto. I can regenerate limbs.”
*Within a few seconds, Zac’s left leg had already grown back. Valto looked in shock*
Zac: “If Shu had been able to use this ability, he would’ve won over your grandfather likely!”
Valto: “Why you little!”
*Valto’s breathing went out of control, and as God Valkyrie was coming back and he launched, no Bey Spirit was flowing through Valkyrie. Valkyrie was deflected by Galaxy Zeus and Zeus dug itself into Valt’s left leg*
Valt: “Agh!”
Zac: “Now to finish you!”
*Zac walked up to Valto and launched Galaxy Zeus right into his heart. Valto launches God Valkyrie and barely deflected the hit. Valkyrie started spinning away from the two and losing stamina*
Zac: “Your Beyblade too far away from you? You’re dead, twinkletoes-“
*Valto threw a punch and landed it right into Zac’s face. Zac stumbles backward for a few seconds, which gave Valto enough time to harness his Bey Spirit and let it flow through God Valkyrie*
Valto: “Valkyrie! Use your Reboot Overdrive!”
*Valto still lying on the ground, his leg not strong enough to support him, God Valkyrie got an instant boost of speed. It started rushing right towards Zac. Zac noticed and quickly launched Galaxy Zeus. Valkyrie smashed through Zeus and sent it flying. Zac ran for his life, knowing if Valkyrie hit him, he was done for. Valkyrie made contact and an explosion happened at the contact. When the clouding from the explosion cleared a few seconds later, no pieces of Zac were to be seen. Valto knew that explosion did not kill him, so he ran towards the direction Zac had been heading*
...
*Valto eventually found Zac on the side of a bridge. He had his launcher ready for battle. Someone came up right behind Valto*
Rankarto: “Valto!”
Valto: “Rankarto!? What are you doing here?”
Rankarto: “I was worried about you. Friends do that kind of thing.”
Valto: “Already considering me your friend, huh? I accept your friend request, then!”
*Zac launches Galaxy Zeus, hoping to catch Valto off guard. Valto turns around and launches God Valkyrie, absorbing Galaxy Zeus’ attack completely and taking it back out. Galaxy Zeus is locked back towards Zac, who catches Zeus*
Zac: “Your tricks won’t work on me, twinkletoes!”
Valto: “Alright, that’s it! That’s the last time you’ll call me twinkletoes!”
*Valto launched God Valkyrie on its side, making it bounce right up to Zac’s face. Zac simply deflected Valkyrie with Galaxy Zeus*
Zac: “Is that so, twinkleto-Oomph!”
*Valto slammed his right fist into the middle of Zac’s face. Zac fell backward, near the edge of the bridge. Valto walked over to Zac and attempted to destroy him with his Bey Spirit. Zac held up Galaxy Zeus to an angle, which deflected the Bey Spirit and blinded Valto for a few seconds*
Valto: “Aieeee!”
*Zac got up, his nose bloodied, and held Galaxy Zeus in the palms of his hands. Holding Zeus as if he were holding a knife blade down*
Zac: “I’m done with you.”
*Zac slammed Galaxy Zeus down into Valto as if Zeus were a knife. Valto blocked the attack by holding God Valkyrie right where Zac was going to attack. The bound gimmick caused much backlash to Zac, sending him nearly off the bridge. He held on tight with one arm as he hung from the bridge. Valto walked over to Zac*
Valto: “Why did you kill Uncle Kensuke? Tell me now!”
*Valto readied his launcher in case Zac refused to speak*
Zac: “Okay, I’ll explain everything. Kensuke as well as me and Lui went to these ancient ruins to find relics, much like the ones Shu used to turn himself into a vampire. I wanted that power to myself, and look what I’ve gotten myself into. Yes, I killed Kensuke and Lui. But what’s left to redeem of myself?“
*Zac’s body began to melt away. His Bey Spirit started to kill him*
Zac: “Before I die, Valto, know this. There are beings made of stone who wield powerful beys, Beyblades we could only wield as of now. Theirs are still much stronger, though. One of those beings was at the site of the ancient ruins we went to. Go to Mexico, and find that being, which go by the Snake Pit Men, named after the land by which they resided in. The Germans have a base there which they are keeping that Snake Pit Man captive. Valto....one last thing....there are more Snake Pit Men......train yourself up to beat them.....or the whole world will be in danger...”
*Zac’s body finally melted away and disintegrated. Valto knew what he had to do*
Rankarto: “What was that guy speaking about?”
Valto: “Snake Pit Men. I gotta find out where the German Base is in Mexico and locate the Snake Pit Man!”
*Valto ran to his apartment, Rankarto following close behind*
...
*Kensuke opened his eyes. Everything was blurry for a moment, but after that his vision became clear. He took a quick look around. It looked to be some sort of research center. He, however, was being tended to and bound to a hospital bed*
???: “Well, well, well, look who’s finally up.”
*Kensuke looked over to where the voice was. Standing there was what appeared to be a German Officer. His military suit was mostly dark blue in color, likely a design choice he made due to his higher ranking. He wore black boots to go with his dark blue officer suit. His brown hair stuck out very much. It was a miracle the hat he wore didn’t fall off his head due to his tall hair, which looked curled to the front. He had that look to him (especially in his eyes) that made him look like a superstar for some reason to Kensuke*
Kensuke: “Wh-who are you? Where am I?”
???: “I guess an introduction real quick can’t hurt. The name’s Officer Burns. You’ll refer to me as so. You’re in a research facility, and are lucky to even be alive. We saw you and another person’s body in the river when we found the Snake Pit Man and figured you could be of use. One was dead, unfortunately, but you managed to survive. Now, tell us what you know about this Snake Pit Man.”
Kensuke: “Why do you assume I came from the Snake Pit site? I was not there when I got severely injured, but it appears I was carried a lot farther than I thought I was.”
Ofc. Burns: “Keeeeeeeeeensuke. You can’t expect me to be that stupid, can you? We looked your face up in our database and found your name and job description. We also found a local newspaper reporting on your departure to that exact site. Just go ahead and give us the info you know on the Snake Pit Man, and this will be a lot easier.”
Researcher: “Officer Burns? The Mexicans you captured are ready.”
Ofc. Burns: “Thanks for letting me know. We aren’t done here, Kensuke. I’m getting information out of you one way or another.”
*Officer Burns walked down the stairs to where the Mexicans were captured. A whole group was stuck in a relatively small prison room*
Officer Burns: “Okay, so we’ve got two options here for you prisoners. One of you can volunteer to be meat for the beast, or you can all die to the hands of it. You better hope one among you is brave, or you all die!”
*The group panicked, unknowing of who would actually volunteer*
Boy: “I’ll do it.”
*A boy of 12 years old went to the front and raised his hand. Officer Burns immediately noticed*
Ofc. Burns: “So, one of you was brave enough, huh?”
*Officer Burns opened the prison door and pulled the boy out of the prison*
Ofc. Burns: “So then, what’s your name?”
Boy: “Cuza.”
Ofc. Burns: “Well then, Cuza, you’ll be spared. The rest of you, prepare to die.”
*The group started screaming and beating on the iron bars of the prison room. Officer Burns pushed a button, and the room moved up, like an elevator, to where the Snake Pit Man was. He was still encased in the stone that had held him when Kensuke’s group had found the site. In fact, the entire chunk of rock had been taken, so that an entire wall was still intact, sitting in a large room made from iron*
...
*Valto had made Granny Krystal aware of where he was going. She insisted that Rankarto stayed with her, both for company and protection from Valto’s mission. Valto hurried off and managed to find someone who knew the whereabouts of this German Base was. He boarded an airplane, and by the next day was in the area where it was. Valto was given a motorbike, and Valto headed off on his way. As the motorbike rushed against the dusty sand of the valley, the place had a surprising amount of desert plants for the area. Over one sand hill that Valto passed by, however, a figure hid behind the sand hill. He wore a large scarf and covered his entire body, so that he would not be sunburned. His target was anyone who would try to enter the German base*
To be continued in Chapter 3: The Snake Pit Man
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - 6Jupiter5 - Aug. 21, 2020
Well at least you didn’t put what officer Burns was (that would just be awkward)
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - 6Jupiter5 - Aug. 21, 2020
So if God is Battle tendencies and original is Phantom blood then that would mean that Cho-z = Stardust Crusaders (yes Achilles is Star Platinum hopefully), GT = DIU, OG Beyblade = Golden Wind?, part 6 = sparking?, part 7 = metal Fury?, and part 8 = Shogun Steel? (Clearly I am confused because there is only 5 parts of burst and 8 parts of Jojo)
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - BuilderROB - Aug. 21, 2020
(Aug. 21, 2020 10:15 PM)6Jupiter5 Wrote: So if God is Battle tendencies and original is Phantom blood then that would mean that Cho-z = Stardust Crusaders (yes Achilles is Star Platinum hopefully), GT = DIU, OG Beyblade = Golden Wind?, part 6 = sparking?, part 7 = metal Fury?, and part 8 = Shogun Steel? (Clearly I am confused because there is only 5 parts of burst and 8 parts of Jojo)
Part 5 will be Sparking. Parts 6, 7, and 8 will be my own made up, unless there is a System after Sparking.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - 6Jupiter5 - Aug. 21, 2020
(Aug. 21, 2020 10:20 PM)BuilderROB Wrote: (Aug. 21, 2020 10:15 PM)6Jupiter5 Wrote: So if God is Battle tendencies and original is Phantom blood then that would mean that Cho-z = Stardust Crusaders (yes Achilles is Star Platinum hopefully), GT = DIU, OG Beyblade = Golden Wind?, part 6 = sparking?, part 7 = metal Fury?, and part 8 = Shogun Steel? (Clearly I am confused because there is only 5 parts of burst and 8 parts of Jojo)
Part 5 will be Sparking. Parts 6, 7, and 8 will be my own made up, unless there is a System after Sparking.
That’s cool I was thinking 7 and 8 could be Metal fight (especially with all of the MFB memes involved with part 7) but yeah that’s cool (I was just thinking about part 7 and 8 and maybe it could be MFB burst since they are getting their own system but you should do what you want to do )
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - DeceasedCrab - Aug. 22, 2020
As a reminder folks, I won't stand for rudeness here. Play nice, bladers.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - 6Jupiter5 - Oct. 15, 2020
Time to critique the fanfic critique’s fanfic
Grammar: solid 5/5 (haven’t seen this good grammar in a while)
Length: 5/5
Plot: 5/5 (it’s Jojo’s and I love Jojo’s)
Characters: 5/5 (once again it’s a jojo’s parody, Jonathan best Jojo)
Dialogue: 5/5 (just like actual Jojo’s you feel the dialogue)
How well is it remade: solid 4.5 (it is remade pretty well, I just don’t like how beys are kind of like stands where if the bey takes damage so does the user, we’re not there yet).
Overall:
A well-deserved 29.5 (and I’m not being like oh good story to make you feel better, you actually deserve it). It has good grammar and it manages to tell the story well, which is where most spin-offs tend to fail. Length is just right and the plot and characters are Jojo’s so yeah.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - BuilderROB - Oct. 15, 2020
Thank you for the review Jupiter! On that thought, if you would like to CheetoBlader you can critique my story if you would like to.
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - CheetoBlader - Oct. 15, 2020
Grammar: 5/5. While there is a missing period or punctuation mark here and there, but I won’t count that because everything else is good. it’s pretty much perfect in grammar.
Length: 5/5. A nice chapter length, enough to get stuff in without rushing things, and add detail.
Plot: 4/5. While it is pretty good and entertaining, and will keep you at the edge of your seat, I’m assuming the plot is based off of JJBA, so that’s why I took a point off.
Characters: 4/5. Characters are good and all, but same reasons as above for the point off.
Dialogue: 5/5. I think many lines are altered, so yeah. Pretty good.
Overall: 23/25. Really good, but being based off of JJBA just lowers it just a bit, due to being unoriginal. Let me know if that’s inaccurate though. Really good translation into Burst, near perfect. Would write more but I have two art projects to do lol
RE: A Beyblade’s Bizarre Adventure Saga (Valkyrie Tendency Ongoing) - Staron - Oct. 22, 2020
Alright, Valto has to have at least one Joseph moment.
|