RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - LegendJustice - Jul. 06, 2021
(Jul. 06, 2021 4:18 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: (Jul. 06, 2021 4:16 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: I WON'T DO THAT TO MY MAIN CHARACTER..... yet
Hint: S
That's all OH NO SHUN OR SATSU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Your getting there...
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - GenesisBlader - Jul. 06, 2021
(Jul. 06, 2021 4:20 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: (Jul. 06, 2021 4:18 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: OH NO SHUN OR SATSU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Your getting there...
hmmm shun is the deuteragonist and satsu is a tritagonist hmmmm
i think its satsu...
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - LegendJustice - Jul. 06, 2021
(Jul. 06, 2021 4:30 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: (Jul. 06, 2021 4:20 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Your getting there...
hmmm shun is the deuteragonist and satsu is a tritagonist hmmmm
i think its satsu...
Okay I'm gonna post chapter 20 in a few minutes so you better hold on to that
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - GenesisBlader - Jul. 06, 2021
its definitely ryui vs shun or satsu
(Jul. 06, 2021 4:33 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: (Jul. 06, 2021 4:30 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: hmmm shun is the deuteragonist and satsu is a tritagonist hmmmm
i think its satsu...
Okay I'm gonna post chapter 20 in a few minutes so you better hold on to that ooh im so exciteddddd
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - UnseenBurst - Jul. 06, 2021
LegendJustice sorry I'm not rating ur fanfics it's just that I'm really busy I'll do it in a bit
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - TylerOfChaos - Jul. 06, 2021
can i also be in this series because i dont really know whats happening but i wanna be apart of it
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - LegendJustice - Jul. 06, 2021
Ultimate battle!
Chapter 20
Hanami: Hello all bladers! We are gonna be having a tag team battle! It's gonna be Shun & Ruckus Vs Fukui & Ronin!
Jacob: Later Ruckus!
Ruckus: Later!
Shun: Hello names Shun!
Ruckus: Hello there Jacob has not old lots about you!
Shun: He did?
Ruckus: Yes!
Shun: DID HE TELL YOU THAT I PEED MYSELF IN THE 3 GRADE???????!!!!!!!
Ruckus: Um, Nope.
Shun: Good, Oh where here at the match room!!
Reff: Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Ruckus & Shun, Fukui & Ronin: Let it rip!!!
Ronin: Rudar!!! Razer claw!!
Fukui: Faze claw!
Shun: You ready?
Ruckus: Ready as I'll ever be!
Shun & Ruckus: Redemption Smash!!!
(Both beys form a circle then they start attacking)
Robin & Fukui: *Gasp*
Ronin: That's it I'll do things my own way Razer Sword!!!!
Hanami: Woah!!! What's Robin gonna do?!!!
(Rudar starts cracking Ragnaruk)
Ruckus: Noooo!!!!
Shun: Let Him goo!! BLACK OUT!!
(System gets in there and stops Ragnaruk from cracking)
Ronin: Fine if I can't have Ragnaruk you will do just fine!!!
Jacob: What do you think he is gonna do?!!!
Satsu: I don't know and I don't wanna find out!!!
(System starts cracking)
Ruckus: Ragnaruk stop it!
(But then Frazer stops Ragnaruk from attacking)
Fukui: Stop messing our plan!!
(System Breaks into 6 pieces)
Ronin: YES, YES I DID IT I DESTROYED SYSTEM HAHAHA!
Shun: ....
(Shun's face starts crying)
Ronin: What's wrong need you little mommy?
Ruckus: RAGNARUK!!!! NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY FRIEND!!!
(Ragnaruk burst both of the beys)
(Shun storms off)
Satsu & Jacob: Wait!
Hanami: Umm, Ruckus & Shun Win.
Kris: I do not tolerate that one this Island You guys have lost 2 Island lives you loose one more and your out of here!!
Ronin: Understandable.
(With shun)
Ruckus, Jacob & Satsu: Wait up!!!
(Shun locks himself up in the workshop)
Shun: **Crys** Why?!!!! I HATE YOU RONIN!!!!!!
(Shun puts Systems broken parts on the counter)
(2 days later)
Satsu: Any word from Shun?
Ruckus: No not that I know of.
Jacob: He has not even come out to eat!
(With shun)
Shun: **Wakes up** What time is it?
(Shun sees Systems broken parts)
Shun: That's it if I want to ever get revenge on Ronin I have to build a new bey!
(3 hours later)
(Jacob knocks on door)
Jacob: Hello anyone there?
Shun: IT'S DONE!!! Core Sozin!
(Shun opens the Door for Jacob)
Jacob: Did you sleep in here?
(Shun nods)
Jacob: Oh.
Shun: But I made a new bey!!! This is Core Sozin!
Jacob: That's great!!! But hold up here I gotta get you something to eat!
(Jacob goes to go get shun something to eat)
Shun: Stadium Rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
Shun: Rip!
(Sozin goes in insane speed)
Jacob: Back and I brought some friends!
Satsu & Ruckus: Hey there!
All (except Shun): Wait look at that speed!!!!
Shun: Yup and I want you all to battle of at the same time!!
Who will win?? Find out on Bey Blade Burst Justice!!!
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:13 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: LegendJustice sorry I'm not rating ur fanfics it's just that I'm really busy I'll do it in a bit
It's okay!
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:23 PM)TylerOfChaos Wrote: can i also be in this series because i dont really know whats happening but i wanna be apart of it
you can still enter the beybade Contest!!! You make a beyblade and I will either give it to a legend of idk
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - GenesisBlader - Jul. 06, 2021
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:28 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Ultimate battle!
Chapter 20
Hanami: Hello all bladers! We are gonna be having a tag team battle! It's gonna be Shun & Ruckus Vs Fukui & Ronin!
Jacob: Later Ruckus!
Ruckus: Later!
Shun: Hello names Shun!
Ruckus: Hello there Jacob has not old lots about you!
Shun: He did?
Ruckus: Yes!
Shun: DID HE TELL YOU THAT I PEED MYSELF IN THE 3 GRADE???????!!!!!!!
Ruckus: Um, Nope.
Shun: Good, Oh where here at the match room!!
Reff: Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Ruckus & Shun, Fukui & Ronin: Let it rip!!!
Ronin: Rudar!!! Razer claw!!
Fukui: Faze claw!
Shun: You ready?
Ruckus: Ready as I'll ever be!
Shun & Ruckus: Redemption Smash!!!
(Both beys form a circle then they start attacking)
Robin & Fukui: *Gasp*
Ronin: That's it I'll do things my own way Razer Sword!!!!
Hanami: Woah!!! What's Robin gonna do?!!!
(Rudar starts cracking Ragnaruk)
Ruckus: Noooo!!!!
Shun: Let Him goo!! BLACK OUT!!
(System gets in there and stops Ragnaruk from cracking)
Ronin: Fine if I can't have Ragnaruk you will do just fine!!!
Jacob: What do you think he is gonna do?!!!
Satsu: I don't know and I don't wanna find out!!!
(System starts cracking)
Ruckus: Ragnaruk stop it!
(But then Frazer stops Ragnaruk from attacking)
Fukui: Stop messing our plan!!
(System Breaks into 6 pieces)
Ronin: YES, YES I DID IT I DESTROYED SYSTEM HAHAHA!
Shun: ....
(Shun's face starts crying)
Ronin: What's wrong need you little mommy?
Ruckus: RAGNARUK!!!! NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY FRIEND!!!
(Ragnaruk burst both of the beys)
(Shun storms off)
Satsu & Jacob: Wait!
Hanami: Umm, Ruckus & Shun Win.
Kris: I do not tolerate that one this Island You guys have lost 2 Island lives you loose one more and your out of here!!
Ronin: Understandable.
(With shun)
Ruckus, Jacob & Satsu: Wait up!!!
(Shun locks himself up in the workshop)
Shun: **Crys** Why?!!!! I HATE YOU RONIN!!!!!!
(Shun puts Systems broken parts on the counter)
(2 days later)
Satsu: Any word from Shun?
Ruckus: No not that I know of.
Jacob: He has not even come out to eat!
(With shun)
Shun: **Wakes up** What time is it?
(Shun sees Systems broken parts)
Shun: That's it if I want to ever get revenge on Ronin I have to build a new bey!
(3 hours later)
(Jacob knocks on door)
Jacob: Hello anyone there?
Shun: IT'S DONE!!! Core Sozin!
(Shun opens the Door for Jacob)
Jacob: Did you sleep in here?
(Shun nods)
Jacob: Oh.
Shun: But I made a new bey!!! This is Core Sozin!
Jacob: That's great!!! But hold up here I gotta get you something to eat!
(Jacob goes to go get shun something to eat)
Shun: Stadium Rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
Shun: Rip!
(Sozin goes in insane speed)
Jacob: Back and I brought some friends!
Satsu & Ruckus: Hey there!
All (except Shun): Wait look at that speed!!!!
Shun: Yup and I want you all to battle of at the same time!!
Who will win?? Find out on Bey Blade Burst Justice!!!
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:13 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: LegendJustice sorry I'm not rating ur fanfics it's just that I'm really busy I'll do it in a bit
It's okay!
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:23 PM)TylerOfChaos Wrote: can i also be in this series because i dont really know whats happening but i wanna be apart of it
you can still enter the beybade Contest!!! You make a beyblade and I will either give it to a legend of idk
this episode is awesome!!! shun gets a new bey and its AWESOME!!
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - LegendJustice - Jul. 06, 2021
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:41 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: (Jul. 06, 2021 5:28 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Ultimate battle!
Chapter 20
Hanami: Hello all bladers! We are gonna be having a tag team battle! It's gonna be Shun & Ruckus Vs Fukui & Ronin!
Jacob: Later Ruckus!
Ruckus: Later!
Shun: Hello names Shun!
Ruckus: Hello there Jacob has not old lots about you!
Shun: He did?
Ruckus: Yes!
Shun: DID HE TELL YOU THAT I PEED MYSELF IN THE 3 GRADE???????!!!!!!!
Ruckus: Um, Nope.
Shun: Good, Oh where here at the match room!!
Reff: Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Ruckus & Shun, Fukui & Ronin: Let it rip!!!
Ronin: Rudar!!! Razer claw!!
Fukui: Faze claw!
Shun: You ready?
Ruckus: Ready as I'll ever be!
Shun & Ruckus: Redemption Smash!!!
(Both beys form a circle then they start attacking)
Robin & Fukui: *Gasp*
Ronin: That's it I'll do things my own way Razer Sword!!!!
Hanami: Woah!!! What's Robin gonna do?!!!
(Rudar starts cracking Ragnaruk)
Ruckus: Noooo!!!!
Shun: Let Him goo!! BLACK OUT!!
(System gets in there and stops Ragnaruk from cracking)
Ronin: Fine if I can't have Ragnaruk you will do just fine!!!
Jacob: What do you think he is gonna do?!!!
Satsu: I don't know and I don't wanna find out!!!
(System starts cracking)
Ruckus: Ragnaruk stop it!
(But then Frazer stops Ragnaruk from attacking)
Fukui: Stop messing our plan!!
(System Breaks into 6 pieces)
Ronin: YES, YES I DID IT I DESTROYED SYSTEM HAHAHA!
Shun: ....
(Shun's face starts crying)
Ronin: What's wrong need you little mommy?
Ruckus: RAGNARUK!!!! NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY FRIEND!!!
(Ragnaruk burst both of the beys)
(Shun storms off)
Satsu & Jacob: Wait!
Hanami: Umm, Ruckus & Shun Win.
Kris: I do not tolerate that one this Island You guys have lost 2 Island lives you loose one more and your out of here!!
Ronin: Understandable.
(With shun)
Ruckus, Jacob & Satsu: Wait up!!!
(Shun locks himself up in the workshop)
Shun: **Crys** Why?!!!! I HATE YOU RONIN!!!!!!
(Shun puts Systems broken parts on the counter)
(2 days later)
Satsu: Any word from Shun?
Ruckus: No not that I know of.
Jacob: He has not even come out to eat!
(With shun)
Shun: **Wakes up** What time is it?
(Shun sees Systems broken parts)
Shun: That's it if I want to ever get revenge on Ronin I have to build a new bey!
(3 hours later)
(Jacob knocks on door)
Jacob: Hello anyone there?
Shun: IT'S DONE!!! Core Sozin!
(Shun opens the Door for Jacob)
Jacob: Did you sleep in here?
(Shun nods)
Jacob: Oh.
Shun: But I made a new bey!!! This is Core Sozin!
Jacob: That's great!!! But hold up here I gotta get you something to eat!
(Jacob goes to go get shun something to eat)
Shun: Stadium Rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
Shun: Rip!
(Sozin goes in insane speed)
Jacob: Back and I brought some friends!
Satsu & Ruckus: Hey there!
All (except Shun): Wait look at that speed!!!!
Shun: Yup and I want you all to battle of at the same time!!
Who will win?? Find out on Bey Blade Burst Justice!!!
It's okay!
you can still enter the beybade Contest!!! You make a beyblade and I will either give it to a legend of idk
this episode is awesome!!! shun gets a new bey and its AWESOME!!
Glad you like it!
Energy Layer: Core Sozin
Forge disk: 6
Disk frame: Vortex
Performance Tip: Ultimate Reboot
Owner: Shun!
Moves: Reboot Smash! Vortex Reverse! Ultimate Aim!
I'm rating myself!!
Grammar: 3/5 I feel like I made some mistakes
Characters: 4/5 I felt like I brought it to life but if you disagree it's okay!
Length 3/5 eh, felt like it was just plain
Plot: 4/5 I tried to make it more understanding were the characters were
Story: 4.2/5 tell like somethings it was missing
Over all: 18/25
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - TylerOfChaos - Jul. 07, 2021
Energy Layer: Blasting Terrios
Forge Disc: 10 heavy (because its the heaviest disc)
Disc Frame: Dagger
Performance Tip/Driver: Xtend +
Owner: Me (if that's okay with you guys)
Moves: Ultimate Blast Break. Blasting Counter. Blast Drift. Blast Crash. Blast Onslaught. Blast Guard. Blasting Spin. Blasting Smash. Blasting Slash. Blast Barrage. Blasting Reboot. Blast Calibur. Blasting Upper.
Type: Balance
Spin Direction: Dual Spin
If its also okay with you can my character be a legend if you allow myself to own this bey
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - LegendJustice - Jul. 07, 2021
Sure I guess!
@BladeKingX if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
UnseenBurst if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - UnseenBurst - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 5:03 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Sure I guess!
@BladeKingX if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
UnseenBurst if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
I'm too lazy to give you a full-on review but I can give you a summary review (I'll do the summary in a bit promise)
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - LegendJustice - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 7:55 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: (Jul. 07, 2021 5:03 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Sure I guess!
@BladeKingX if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
UnseenBurst if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
I'm too lazy to give you a full-on review but I can give you a summary review (I'll do the summary in a bit promise)
K
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice (Character Contest) - Dragon Blader Z - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:28 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Ultimate battle!
Chapter 20
Hanami: Hello all bladers! We are gonna be having a tag team battle! It's gonna be Shun & Ruckus Vs Fukui & Ronin!
Jacob: Later Ruckus!
Ruckus: Later!
Shun: Hello names Shun!
Ruckus: Hello there Jacob has not old lots about you!
Shun: He did?
Ruckus: Yes!
Shun: DID HE TELL YOU THAT I PEED MYSELF IN THE 3 GRADE???????!!!!!!!
Ruckus: Um, Nope.
Shun: Good, Oh where here at the match room!!
Reff: Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Ruckus & Shun, Fukui & Ronin: Let it rip!!!
Ronin: Rudar!!! Razer claw!!
Fukui: Faze claw!
Shun: You ready?
Ruckus: Ready as I'll ever be!
Shun & Ruckus: Redemption Smash!!!
(Both beys form a circle then they start attacking)
Robin & Fukui: *Gasp*
Ronin: That's it I'll do things my own way Razer Sword!!!!
Hanami: Woah!!! What's Robin gonna do?!!!
(Rudar starts cracking Ragnaruk)
Ruckus: Noooo!!!!
Shun: Let Him goo!! BLACK OUT!!
(System gets in there and stops Ragnaruk from cracking)
Ronin: Fine if I can't have Ragnaruk you will do just fine!!!
Jacob: What do you think he is gonna do?!!!
Satsu: I don't know and I don't wanna find out!!!
(System starts cracking)
Ruckus: Ragnaruk stop it!
(But then Frazer stops Ragnaruk from attacking)
Fukui: Stop messing our plan!!
(System Breaks into 6 pieces)
Ronin: YES, YES I DID IT I DESTROYED SYSTEM HAHAHA!
Shun: ....
(Shun's face starts crying)
Ronin: What's wrong need you little mommy?
Ruckus: RAGNARUK!!!! NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY FRIEND!!!
(Ragnaruk burst both of the beys)
(Shun storms off)
Satsu & Jacob: Wait!
Hanami: Umm, Ruckus & Shun Win.
Kris: I do not tolerate that one this Island You guys have lost 2 Island lives you loose one more and your out of here!!
Ronin: Understandable.
(With shun)
Ruckus, Jacob & Satsu: Wait up!!!
(Shun locks himself up in the workshop)
Shun: **Crys** Why?!!!! I HATE YOU RONIN!!!!!!
(Shun puts Systems broken parts on the counter)
(2 days later)
Satsu: Any word from Shun?
Ruckus: No not that I know of.
Jacob: He has not even come out to eat!
(With shun)
Shun: **Wakes up** What time is it?
(Shun sees Systems broken parts)
Shun: That's it if I want to ever get revenge on Ronin I have to build a new bey!
(3 hours later)
(Jacob knocks on door)
Jacob: Hello anyone there?
Shun: IT'S DONE!!! Core Sozin!
(Shun opens the Door for Jacob)
Jacob: Did you sleep in here?
(Shun nods)
Jacob: Oh.
Shun: But I made a new bey!!! This is Core Sozin!
Jacob: That's great!!! But hold up here I gotta get you something to eat!
(Jacob goes to go get shun something to eat)
Shun: Stadium Rise!
(A stadium rises from the ground)
Shun: Rip!
(Sozin goes in insane speed)
Jacob: Back and I brought some friends!
Satsu & Ruckus: Hey there!
All (except Shun): Wait look at that speed!!!!
Shun: Yup and I want you all to battle of at the same time!!
Who will win?? Find out on Bey Blade Burst Justice!!!
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:13 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: LegendJustice sorry I'm not rating ur fanfics it's just that I'm really busy I'll do it in a bit
It's okay!
(Jul. 06, 2021 5:23 PM)TylerOfChaos Wrote: can i also be in this series because i dont really know whats happening but i wanna be apart of it
you can still enter the beybade Contest!!! You make a beyblade and I will either give it to a legend of idk
Character name: Rey Nebula
eyes: blue
hair: purple
height: 5'7
beyblade name: Galaxy Star. Void. Venture with V gear
moves: Galaxy Void, Raining Star, Galaxy max, Galaxy Dive, and Galaxy Slash
add me to the contest with this bey
also make me a legend if you have some space
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - GenesisBlader - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 5:03 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Sure I guess!
@BladeKingX if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
UnseenBurst if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
sure
Characters: 5/5 - You handle the characters really well, great job!
Story: 4.5/5 - I like how it progresses from a town, to a whole BATTLE ISLAND! Great job on this as well
Writing: 4/5 - I saw some mistakes, but there are very little of them! Nice!
Dialouge: 3.5/5 - Sometimes I don't really understand who they talk to and sometimes they don't really talk, but most of the times they do. Awesome!
Length: 5/5 - I really liked to see whats gonna happen next, and how long the chapter is really helps with that! Cool beans!
All 'n All (Total): 22/25 - This chapter was fun to read! Great job and keep on improving!
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - LegendJustice - Jul. 07, 2021
Chapter 21!
Rebirth , Core Sozin!
Satsu: Of course I'm battling!I
Ruckus: Ragnaruk is taking you down!
Jacob: Jackal it's gonna Win!
(Shun Locks up Sozin)
Shun: Let me change and have a shower first.
All (Except Shun): Yeah we can see you need it!
~5 Minutes Later~
Shun: Back!
Satsu: Let's do this thing!
Ruckus: Yeah!
Shun: Okay I wanna go up against Satsu first!
Jacob: I'll be ref!
Jacob: Inspect your opponent's beys!
Satsu (Mind): Core Sozin a attack type with 4 blades the rubber can forge with the blades to drain its opponent's stamina Hmm if I wanna burst this thing I'm gonna need to burst it from under, with a good angle I should be able to burst it!
Satsu: here you go!
Jacob: Okay, Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Shun & Satsu: Let it ri---
{Shun does a handstand}
Satsu: *Gasp*
Shun & Satsu: Rip!
{Shun and Satsu pull of amazing Justice launches}
{Sozin starts speeding crazy}
Shun: Ultimate Reboot!
{Sozin starts crashing into the stadium walls}
Satsu: Solar Guard! Let's show them what Defence can do!
Ruckus: Woah That speed!!!
Jacob: I know right!
Shun: Your shield won't do nothing! Core Reboot!
{Sozin speeds toward Sunset and starts attacking the shield then the shield breaks}
Satsu: *Gasp* Get out of there!
Shun: Oh no you don't Core speed!
{Sozin is speeding at Sunset}
Satsu: I REFUSE TO LOOSE!!!!
{Satsu Resonance goes crazy}
Shun: *Gasp* VORTEX REVERSE!
{Both beys start clashing crazy}
{There is a huge winds}
Ruckus: Who is gonna win?!!I
{Ruckus said trying to stand up but couldn't cause of the wind}
Jacob: I don't know!!!
{Sozin and Sunset Burst}
Jacob: Its a draw, no points rewarded!
Shun: GG, Satsu!
Satsu: You to Shun, Sozin is really strong!
Ruckus: I'm up next!
Satsu: Okay!
Satsu (Mind): That battle with Shun.... I don't know what to say he has gotten way stronger and if he gets stronger I will to!
Satsu: Guys I'm gonna evolve Sunset!
Jacob: Okay, I'll help!
Shun: Who will ref me and Ruckus match?
Jacob: Fire Up Drone!
{A drone appears}
Drone: activation has begun.
Shun & Ruckus: Epic!
Drone: Activating Skull Stadium.
All: Wait Is that the new stadium that came out? Epic!
{A stadium that has spikes comes out from the ground}
Ruckus: This battle will be epic!!
Drone: First battle, Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Ruckus & Shun: Let it--
{Shun does a handstand}
Ruckus & Shun: Rip!
Shun: Let's speed things up Sozin!
Ruckus: Ragnaruk!
{Both beys start speeding Crazy}
Ruckus: Ragnaruk! Redemption Smash!
{Ragnaruk trys to use the rails of the stadium but the spikes almost burst Ragnaruk}
Ruckus: *Gasp* How am I suppose to speed up?
Shun: Reboot speed!!
{Sozin starts Speeding towards Ragnaruk}
Ruckus: Crazy Defend!!!!
{Ragnaruk stops Sozin from attacking}
Shun: *Gasp* How did you--
Ruckus: My sister she helped me train! Now Ragnaruk!!!
Shun: I see...
{In another part of the workshop}
Satsu: Its done!
Jacob: That was fast So what are you gonna name it?
Satsu: Hmm.
{Satsu has a flashback}
Young Satsu: Go Sunset!
Older sister: Slayer Go!
{End of flashback}
{Satsu almost tears up}
Jacob: You good?
Satsu: Yeah, I'm fine and I wanna name the bey Lock Slayer!
{Back to Ruckus and Shun}
{Sozin burst}
Shun: Incredible!
Ruckus: Thanks!
Satsu: Rip!
Feel free to rate
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - UnseenBurst - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 8:42 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 21!
Rebirth , Core Sozin!
Satsu: Of course I'm battling!I
Ruckus: Ragnaruk is taking you down!
Jacob: Jackal it's gonna Win!
(Shun Locks up Sozin)
Shun: Let me change and have a shower first.
All (Except Shun): Yeah we can see you need it!
~5 Minutes Later~
Shun: Back!
Satsu: Let's do this thing!
Ruckus: Yeah!
Shun: Okay I wanna go up against Satsu first!
Jacob: I'll be ref!
Jacob: Inspect your opponent's beys!
Satsu (Mind): Core Sozin a attack type with 4 blades the rubber can forge with the blades to drain its opponent's stamina Hmm if I wanna burst this thing I'm gonna need to burst it from under, with a good angle I should be able to burst it!
Satsu: here you go!
Jacob: Okay, Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Shun & Satsu: Let it ri---
{Shun does a handstand}
Satsu: *Gasp*
Shun & Satsu: Rip!
{Shun and Satsu pull of amazing Justice launches}
{Sozin starts speeding crazy}
Shun: Ultimate Reboot!
{Sozin starts crashing into the stadium walls}
Satsu: Solar Guard! Let's show them what Defence can do!
Ruckus: Woah That speed!!!
Jacob: I know right!
Shun: Your shield won't do nothing! Core Reboot!
{Sozin speeds toward Sunset and starts attacking the shield then the shield breaks}
Satsu: *Gasp* Get out of there!
Shun: Oh no you don't Core speed!
{Sozin is speeding at Sunset}
Satsu: I REFUSE TO LOOSE!!!!
{Satsu Resonance goes crazy}
Shun: *Gasp* VORTEX REVERSE!
{Both beys start clashing crazy}
{There is a huge winds}
Ruckus: Who is gonna win?!!I
{Ruckus said trying to stand up but couldn't cause of the wind}
Jacob: I don't know!!!
{Sozin and Sunset Burst}
Jacob: Its a draw, no points rewarded!
Shun: GG, Satsu!
Satsu: You to Shun, Sozin is really strong!
Ruckus: I'm up next!
Satsu: Okay!
Satsu (Mind): That battle with Shun.... I don't know what to say he has gotten way stronger and if he gets stronger I will to!
Satsu: Guys I'm gonna evoke Sunset!
Jacob: Okay, I'll help!
Shun: Who will ref me and Ruckus match?
Jacob: Fire Up Drone!
{A drone appears}
Drone: activation has begun.
Shun & Ruckus: Epic!
Drone: Activating Skull Stadium.
All: Wait Is that the new stadium that came out? Epic!
{A stadium that has spikes comes out from the ground}
Ruckus: This battle will be epic!!
Feel free to rate
It was pretty good but it was really short it could've been longer to go into more info and you had more than enough time and space to go into more details, again ur grammar could use some work but you on ur way the plot was cool but I wish it was explored more
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - LegendJustice - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 8:19 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: (Jul. 07, 2021 5:03 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Sure I guess!
@BladeKingX if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
UnseenBurst if your free can you rate my recent chapters?
sure
Characters: 5/5 - You handle the characters really well, great job!
Story: 4.5/5 - I like how it progresses from a town, to a whole BATTLE ISLAND! Great job on this as well
Writing: 4/5 - I saw some mistakes, but there are very little of them! Nice!
Dialouge: 3.5/5 - Sometimes I don't really understand who they talk to and sometimes they don't really talk, but most of the times they do. Awesome!
Length: 5/5 - I really liked to see whats gonna happen next, and how long the chapter is really helps with that! Cool beans!
All 'n All (Total): 22/25 - This chapter was fun to read! Great job and keep on improving!
(Jul. 07, 2021 8:51 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: (Jul. 07, 2021 8:42 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 21!
Rebirth , Core Sozin!
Satsu: Of course I'm battling!I
Ruckus: Ragnaruk is taking you down!
Jacob: Jackal it's gonna Win!
(Shun Locks up Sozin)
Shun: Let me change and have a shower first.
All (Except Shun): Yeah we can see you need it!
~5 Minutes Later~
Shun: Back!
Satsu: Let's do this thing!
Ruckus: Yeah!
Shun: Okay I wanna go up against Satsu first!
Jacob: I'll be ref!
Jacob: Inspect your opponent's beys!
Satsu (Mind): Core Sozin a attack type with 4 blades the rubber can forge with the blades to drain its opponent's stamina Hmm if I wanna burst this thing I'm gonna need to burst it from under, with a good angle I should be able to burst it!
Satsu: here you go!
Jacob: Okay, Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Shun & Satsu: Let it ri---
{Shun does a handstand}
Satsu: *Gasp*
Shun & Satsu: Rip!
{Shun and Satsu pull of amazing Justice launches}
{Sozin starts speeding crazy}
Shun: Ultimate Reboot!
{Sozin starts crashing into the stadium walls}
Satsu: Solar Guard! Let's show them what Defence can do!
Ruckus: Woah That speed!!!
Jacob: I know right!
Shun: Your shield won't do nothing! Core Reboot!
{Sozin speeds toward Sunset and starts attacking the shield then the shield breaks}
Satsu: *Gasp* Get out of there!
Shun: Oh no you don't Core speed!
{Sozin is speeding at Sunset}
Satsu: I REFUSE TO LOOSE!!!!
{Satsu Resonance goes crazy}
Shun: *Gasp* VORTEX REVERSE!
{Both beys start clashing crazy}
{There is a huge winds}
Ruckus: Who is gonna win?!!I
{Ruckus said trying to stand up but couldn't cause of the wind}
Jacob: I don't know!!!
{Sozin and Sunset Burst}
Jacob: Its a draw, no points rewarded!
Shun: GG, Satsu!
Satsu: You to Shun, Sozin is really strong!
Ruckus: I'm up next!
Satsu: Okay!
Satsu (Mind): That battle with Shun.... I don't know what to say he has gotten way stronger and if he gets stronger I will to!
Satsu: Guys I'm gonna evoke Sunset!
Jacob: Okay, I'll help!
Shun: Who will ref me and Ruckus match?
Jacob: Fire Up Drone!
{A drone appears}
Drone: activation has begun.
Shun & Ruckus: Epic!
Drone: Activating Skull Stadium.
All: Wait Is that the new stadium that came out? Epic!
{A stadium that has spikes comes out from the ground}
Ruckus: This battle will be epic!!
Feel free to rate
It was pretty good but it was really short it could've been longer to go into more info and you had more than enough time and space to go into more details, again ur grammar could use some work but you on ur way the plot was cool but I wish it was explored more
Oh okay thanks for your feed back
~this post is deleted ~
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - GenesisBlader - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 8:53 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: (Jul. 07, 2021 8:19 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: sure
Characters: 5/5 - You handle the characters really well, great job!
Story: 4.5/5 - I like how it progresses from a town, to a whole BATTLE ISLAND! Great job on this as well
Writing: 4/5 - I saw some mistakes, but there are very little of them! Nice!
Dialouge: 3.5/5 - Sometimes I don't really understand who they talk to and sometimes they don't really talk, but most of the times they do. Awesome!
Length: 5/5 - I really liked to see whats gonna happen next, and how long the chapter is really helps with that! Cool beans!
All 'n All (Total): 22/25 - This chapter was fun to read! Great job and keep on improving!
(Jul. 07, 2021 8:51 PM)UnseenBurst Wrote: It was pretty good but it was really short it could've been longer to go into more info and you had more than enough time and space to go into more details, again ur grammar could use some work but you on ur way the plot was cool but I wish it was explored more
Oh okay thanks for your feed back
~this post is deleted ~ lol i have an idea for everyone's bey's system like everyone's evolved beys, like how about ultra justice or awakened justice beys? (if you dont already have a name) like for instance core sozin shun evolved his justice bey even tho we still in the Beyblade Burst Justice fanfic like i think a new name would be cool but u dont have to change the name of the evolved beys if you dont want to
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - TylerOfChaos - Jul. 07, 2021
Ok now Ima do my character's look
Tyler Williams
Race (don't quote me on this): African American
Eye color: Royal blue
Hair color: black and blue
Height: 5'6
Bey: Blasting Terrios
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - Hollowmind13 - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 8:42 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Chapter 21!
Rebirth , Core Sozin!
Satsu: Of course I'm battling!I
Ruckus: Ragnaruk is taking you down!
Jacob: Jackal it's gonna Win!
(Shun Locks up Sozin)
Shun: Let me change and have a shower first.
All (Except Shun): Yeah we can see you need it!
~5 Minutes Later~
Shun: Back!
Satsu: Let's do this thing!
Ruckus: Yeah!
Shun: Okay I wanna go up against Satsu first!
Jacob: I'll be ref!
Jacob: Inspect your opponent's beys!
Satsu (Mind): Core Sozin a attack type with 4 blades the rubber can forge with the blades to drain its opponent's stamina Hmm if I wanna burst this thing I'm gonna need to burst it from under, with a good angle I should be able to burst it!
Satsu: here you go!
Jacob: Okay, Ready? Set!
All: 3! 2! 1!
Shun & Satsu: Let it ri---
{Shun does a handstand}
Satsu: *Gasp*
Shun & Satsu: Rip!
{Shun and Satsu pull of amazing Justice launches}
{Sozin starts speeding crazy}
Shun: Ultimate Reboot!
{Sozin starts crashing into the stadium walls}
Satsu: Solar Guard! Let's show them what Defence can do!
Ruckus: Woah That speed!!!
Jacob: I know right!
Shun: Your shield won't do nothing! Core Reboot!
{Sozin speeds toward Sunset and starts attacking the shield then the shield breaks}
Satsu: *Gasp* Get out of there!
Shun: Oh no you don't Core speed!
{Sozin is speeding at Sunset}
Satsu: I REFUSE TO LOOSE!!!!
{Satsu Resonance goes crazy}
Shun: *Gasp* VORTEX REVERSE!
{Both beys start clashing crazy}
{There is a huge winds}
Ruckus: Who is gonna win?!!I
{Ruckus said trying to stand up but couldn't cause of the wind}
Jacob: I don't know!!!
{Sozin and Sunset Burst}
Jacob: Its a draw, no points rewarded!
Shun: GG, Satsu!
Satsu: You to Shun, Sozin is really strong!
Ruckus: I'm up next!
Satsu: Okay!
Satsu (Mind): That battle with Shun.... I don't know what to say he has gotten way stronger and if he gets stronger I will to!
Satsu: Guys I'm gonna evoke Sunset!
Jacob: Okay, I'll help!
Shun: Who will ref me and Ruckus match?
Jacob: Fire Up Drone!
{A drone appears}
Drone: activation has begun.
Shun & Ruckus: Epic!
Drone: Activating Skull Stadium.
All: Wait Is that the new stadium that came out? Epic!
{A stadium that has spikes comes out from the ground}
Ruckus: This battle will be epic!!
Feel free to rate Satsu: Guys I'm gonna evoke Sunset!
Time for the ritual. (Jk obviously, but for real you did wrote that).
It was short, sure. I don't have much to say, it's a standard chapter.
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - LegendJustice - Jul. 07, 2021
Okay lol let me edit that
(Jul. 07, 2021 9:08 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: (Jul. 07, 2021 8:53 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Oh okay thanks for your feed back
~this post is deleted ~ lol i have an idea for everyone's bey's system like everyone's evolved beys, like how about ultra justice or awakened justice beys? (if you dont already have a name) like for instance core sozin shun evolved his justice bey even tho we still in the Beyblade Burst Justice fanfic like i think a new name would be cool but u dont have to change the name of the evolved beys if you dont want to
So your saying it character s evolve there beys they should change the hole name?
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - GenesisBlader - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 9:28 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Okay lol let me edit that
(Jul. 07, 2021 9:08 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: lol i have an idea for everyone's bey's system like everyone's evolved beys, like how about ultra justice or awakened justice beys? (if you dont already have a name) like for instance core sozin shun evolved his justice bey even tho we still in the Beyblade Burst Justice fanfic like i think a new name would be cool but u dont have to change the name of the evolved beys if you dont want to
So your saying it character s evolve there beys they should change the hole name? nooo like the system name they'll still be considered justice beys they just in the ultra justice system
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - LegendJustice - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 9:34 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: (Jul. 07, 2021 9:28 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: Okay lol let me edit that
So your saying it character s evolve there beys they should change the hole name? nooo like the system name they'll still be considered justice beys they just in the ultra justice system
Oh!!!! So like when they evoke there beys there in the Ultra Justice system?!!!!
Also guys I edited Chapter 21 to make it a bit longer
RE: Beyblade Burst: Justice - GenesisBlader - Jul. 07, 2021
(Jul. 07, 2021 9:46 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: (Jul. 07, 2021 9:34 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: nooo like the system name they'll still be considered justice beys they just in the ultra justice system
Oh!!!! So like when they evoke there beys there in the Ultra Justice system?!!!!
yeah
(Jul. 07, 2021 9:46 PM)LegendJustice Wrote: (Jul. 07, 2021 9:34 PM)BladeKingX Wrote: nooo like the system name they'll still be considered justice beys they just in the ultra justice system
Also guys I edited Chapter 21 to make it a bit longer
cool
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