World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
The dead rock. - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: The dead rock. (/Thread-The-dead-rock)



The dead rock. - Katniss - Sep. 22, 2012

Thanks for reading. Please comment on my story
Chapter 1
Chapter 2.
Chapter 3



RE: The dead rock. - sarabscientist - Sep. 22, 2012

Well ... that was really messed up 0_o


RE: The dead rock. - Katniss - Sep. 22, 2012

W-w-what do you mean?


RE: The dead rock. - sarabscientist - Sep. 22, 2012

(Sep. 22, 2012  8:45 PM)KatnissEverdeen Wrote: "I DON'T GET PEOPLEEEEEEEEEE!"

"NNNEEEKKKUUU!!!!"

Neku was found lying on the ground.

My brain=lolwut

Everything was fast-paced in the chapter. I think maybe you sould take the time to introduce your characters and slowly give them volume+depth.

PS: Its "story", not "storie" Wink




RE: The dead rock. - Cookie Bouquets - Sep. 22, 2012

This story is really messed up XDD

I was like, dafuq I just read?


RE: The dead rock. - ElementalDude97 - Sep. 22, 2012

Why is Neku on the ground?is it because the other person threw a rock at him?


RE: The dead rock. - Luck - Sep. 22, 2012

I'm so confused... Good story though, decent chapter length.


RE: The dead rock. - Katniss - Sep. 23, 2012

You will all find out in the next chapter!


Heh heh hehhhhh.....


Am I going crazy or something?


RE: The dead rock. - Viral - Sep. 23, 2012

Confused, stick with one thing at a time. It's jumbled everywhere.

KIU though


RE: The dead rock. - The Writer - Sep. 23, 2012

MIND=BLOWN. Reminds me of Death Note. I dont really understand much of the story other than this rock that kills you upon impact...

Dafuq?


RE: The dead rock. - Katniss - Sep. 24, 2012

People people please do not say 'Dafuq?" it's inapropreate for me. At least I think.
Chapter 2.
I'm going crazy!!Mwa hah ha!!!


RE: The dead rock. - Viral - Sep. 26, 2012

Still confused here, try to make it clear. Especially since most of this is dialogue, try to state who is talking e.g "Dialogue", said dad or Dad: "Dialogue".

Found some mistakes.

(Sep. 24, 2012  8:01 PM)KatnissEverdeen Wrote: “Just watch. One, Two and THREE!” Neku screamed as he through the rock. This time it went through two trees.

Threw*

(Sep. 24, 2012  8:01 PM)KatnissEverdeen Wrote: Knocked me right of

Off

KIU!


RE: The dead rock. - Cosmic - Sep. 26, 2012

um. i don't know where to start Joyful_3 .. i can tell this story will be very confusing. well i will continue to still read them.
( im not a big reader i stick with Manga Grin )


RE: The dead rock. - Duck - Sep. 26, 2012

IIIIIIIIII DOOOOOOOOOON'T GEEEEEEEEEET PEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOPLEEEEEEEEEE!!!


Libruhhh Yes, Katri, you are totally going crazy.


This story is so damn confusing, and it makes no sense. That's why it's awesome!!! Stupid


RE: The dead rock. - Katniss - Sep. 26, 2012

I know about the grammer my dad told me. Im not bothered to fix it at tho momment I will.


RE: The dead rock. - Duck - Sep. 27, 2012

No, no, no. Katri, it's not about the grammar. The whole thing is just wacky, almost absurd. I'm totally following this! XDXDXDXDXD


RE: The dead rock. - Katniss - Oct. 07, 2012

I'm going to do more soon. I will have a big Halloween chapter. Soon!
I have pics but I need to take the pictures of them.
So look forward to it


RE: The dead rock. - Katniss - Oct. 14, 2012

Chapter 3