World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Fan Fiction Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Fan Fiction Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story (/Thread-Fan-Fiction-Beyblade-Burst-Ugen%E2%80%99s-Story)

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RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 02, 2020

Come, story critic, lilphilyb


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - lilphilyb - Feb. 02, 2020

Read the story before the summon.

Character Development: B+
Diologue: A
Grammar: A+
Exciting moments: A
Chapter length: A-
Story Juiciness: A

You did great so far. With this story taking place before the dual layer era makes any battle exciting. This gets an 88

Overall score: 88


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 02, 2020

(Feb. 02, 2020  4:59 AM)lilphilyb Wrote: Read the story before the summon.

Character Development: B+
Diologue: A
Grammar: A+
Exciting moments: A
Chapter length: A-
Story Juiciness: A

You did great so far. With this story taking place before the dual layer era makes any battle exciting. This gets an 88

Overall score: 88

Alright, thank you so much!


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 05, 2020

Chapter 12: A High Speed Battle! The Beginning of Something New!




RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - FreeFafnir64 - Feb. 06, 2020

Yeah! That seems familiar though, about the samurai stuff. Will Ugen see Lui again because he beat Gabe?


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 06, 2020

(Feb. 06, 2020  2:14 AM)FreeFafnir64 Wrote: Yeah! That seems familiar though, about the samurai stuff. Will Ugen see Lui again because he beat Gabe?

Good observation. Maybe, but I can’t give anything away yet.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Suoh sadboii - Feb. 07, 2020

-“Thanks, but is that the reason you fake toy house?” Ugen asked.-

Is "fake toy house" a typo for came to my house?


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 07, 2020

(Feb. 07, 2020  3:04 AM)Suoh sadboii Wrote: -“Thanks, but is that the reason you fake toy house?” Ugen asked.-

Is "fake toy house" a typo for came to my house?

Wow, that’s an awful typo. Let me fix that now.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Suoh sadboii - Feb. 07, 2020

(Feb. 07, 2020  3:05 AM)BuilderROB Wrote:
(Feb. 07, 2020  3:04 AM)Suoh sadboii Wrote: -“Thanks, but is that the reason you fake toy house?” Ugen asked.-

Is "fake toy house" a typo for came to my house?

Wow, that’s an awful typo. Let me fix that now.

Yeah. Overall, great chapter! Ugen's story really mirrors Valt's, which really pleased me. Thank you!


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 07, 2020

(Feb. 07, 2020  3:13 AM)Suoh sadboii Wrote:
(Feb. 07, 2020  3:05 AM)BuilderROB Wrote: Wow, that’s an awful typo. Let me fix that now.

Yeah. Overall, great chapter! Ugen's story really mirrors Valt's, which really pleased me. Thank you!
No problem! I think you are going to like the next story arc as well!


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Suoh sadboii - Feb. 07, 2020

(Feb. 07, 2020  3:31 AM)BuilderROB Wrote:
(Feb. 07, 2020  3:13 AM)Suoh sadboii Wrote: Yeah. Overall, great chapter! Ugen's story really mirrors Valt's, which really pleased me. Thank you!
No problem! I think you are going to like the next story arc as well!

Awesome! Can't wait.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Dacatman - Feb. 07, 2020

(Dec. 02, 2019  3:47 AM)BuilderROB Wrote: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story

Context: This story takes place around the same time as the first season of Beyblade Burst. This also means that this takes place during the dual layer era. Ugen is a 11 year old male who, at the time of the first chapter, had been blading for six months. His personality is a smart one, although not to the point where you would consider him nerdy. He usually is very confident no matter who he faces in a battle. He usually likes to try and pull off new launch angles as well as moves and pushes the limits. His bey is Urgent Ursa, a left spin attack type. Follow Ugen and his beyblade, Urgent Ursa, for their 51 chapter story.

The Story (Chapters 1-51)
Feel free to post any feedback down below, as well as any ideas for characters and beyblades! Just make sure the beyblade ideas are dual layers!
Let’s go Ugen!!!

And the Final Reveal, Urgent Ursa!!!


[Image: GSV1PQ-KuUvy94P74XgFaaNuFeNIX9dM3CxABz8g...nCPWFp-w7w]


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - lilphilyb - Feb. 07, 2020

(Feb. 07, 2020  4:39 PM)Dacatman Wrote:
(Dec. 02, 2019  3:47 AM)BuilderROB Wrote: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story

Context: This story takes place around the same time as the first season of Beyblade Burst. This also means that this takes place during the dual layer era. Ugen is a 11 year old male who, at the time of the first chapter, had been blading for six months. His personality is a smart one, although not to the point where you would consider him nerdy. He usually is very confident no matter who he faces in a battle. He usually likes to try and pull off new launch angles as well as moves and pushes the limits. His bey is Urgent Ursa, a left spin attack type. Follow Ugen and his beyblade, Urgent Ursa, for their 51 chapter story.

The Story (Chapters 1-51)
Feel free to post any feedback down below, as well as any ideas for characters and beyblades! Just make sure the beyblade ideas are dual layers!
Let’s go Ugen!!!

And the Final Reveal, Urgent Ursa!!!


[Image: GSV1PQ-KuUvy94P74XgFaaNuFeNIX9dM3CxABz8g...nCPWFp-w7w]
[/Spoiler]
Oh my Gosh! That is so cool!


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Dacatman - Feb. 07, 2020

(Feb. 07, 2020  4:42 PM)lilphilyb Wrote:
(Feb. 07, 2020  4:39 PM)Dacatman Wrote: Let’s go Ugen!!!

And the Final Reveal, Urgent Ursa!!!


[Image: GSV1PQ-KuUvy94P74XgFaaNuFeNIX9dM3CxABz8g...nCPWFp-w7w]
[/Spoiler]
Oh my Gosh! That is so cool!

Thank you


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 07, 2020

(Feb. 07, 2020  4:39 PM)Dacatman Wrote:
(Dec. 02, 2019  3:47 AM)BuilderROB Wrote: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story
Let’s go Ugen!!!

And the Final Reveal, Urgent Ursa!!!


[Image: GSV1PQ-KuUvy94P74XgFaaNuFeNIX9dM3CxABz8g...nCPWFp-w7w]

Wow, it looks amazing! If I get the money I’d love to get that printed out. PM me details like what material I should get it printed out with and stuff like that’s


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Staron - Feb. 12, 2020

I bet I know a member of the club, hope he is apart of this club

(Feb. 07, 2020  4:39 PM)Dacatman Wrote:
(Dec. 02, 2019  3:47 AM)BuilderROB Wrote: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story

Context: This story takes place around the same time as the first season of Beyblade Burst. This also means that this takes place during the dual layer era. Ugen is a 11 year old male who, at the time of the first chapter, had been blading for six months. His personality is a smart one, although not to the point where you would consider him nerdy. He usually is very confident no matter who he faces in a battle. He usually likes to try and pull off new launch angles as well as moves and pushes the limits. His bey is Urgent Ursa, a left spin attack type. Follow Ugen and his beyblade, Urgent Ursa, for their 51 chapter story.

The Story (Chapters 1-51)
Feel free to post any feedback down below, as well as any ideas for characters and beyblades! Just make sure the beyblade ideas are dual layers!
Let’s go Ugen!!!

And the Final Reveal, Urgent Ursa!!!


[Image: GSV1PQ-KuUvy94P74XgFaaNuFeNIX9dM3CxABz8g...nCPWFp-w7w]

Try drawing the spirit of Ursa next

Also, Gaia with a burst finish, Ugen wins? Should it be Ursa with a burst finish?


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 12, 2020

(Feb. 12, 2020  8:56 PM)Staron Wrote: Also, Gaia with a burst finish, Ugen wins? Should it be Ursa with a burst finish?

It said Gaia burst first, not Gaia with a Burst finish.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Staron - Feb. 12, 2020

Sorry, but will he be in this chapter


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 12, 2020

(Feb. 12, 2020  9:09 PM)Staron Wrote: Sorry, but will he be in this chapter

He who? You mean Bushi? You’ll have to wait to find out.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Staron - Feb. 14, 2020

(Feb. 07, 2020  4:39 PM)Dacatman Wrote:
(Dec. 02, 2019  3:47 AM)BuilderROB Wrote: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story

Context: This story takes place around the same time as the first season of Beyblade Burst. This also means that this takes place during the dual layer era. Ugen is a 11 year old male who, at the time of the first chapter, had been blading for six months. His personality is a smart one, although not to the point where you would consider him nerdy. He usually is very confident no matter who he faces in a battle. He usually likes to try and pull off new launch angles as well as moves and pushes the limits. His bey is Urgent Ursa, a left spin attack type. Follow Ugen and his beyblade, Urgent Ursa, for their 51 chapter story.

The Story (Chapters 1-51)
Feel free to post any feedback down below, as well as any ideas for characters and beyblades! Just make sure the beyblade ideas are dual layers!
Let’s go Ugen!!!

And the Final Reveal, Urgent Ursa!!!


[Image: GSV1PQ-KuUvy94P74XgFaaNuFeNIX9dM3CxABz8g...nCPWFp-w7w]

Ya mind if you did Bushi's Bey, Inferno Ifrit, I'll give you something to remember when making the design, give a version of Samurai Ifrit, but in beyblade burst style, and make some tweaks.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 15, 2020

Chapter 13: Intense Training! The Way of the Samurai!




RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - #Fafnir - Feb. 15, 2020

(Feb. 15, 2020  2:47 AM)BuilderROB Wrote: Chapter 13: Intense Training! The Way of the Samurai!


The beyblade stadium made out of a tree stump reminds me of that one MFB episode. Anyways, great chapter! Smile


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - BuilderROB - Feb. 15, 2020

(Feb. 15, 2020  4:26 AM)#Fafnir Wrote:
(Feb. 15, 2020  2:47 AM)BuilderROB Wrote: Chapter 13: Intense Training! The Way of the Samurai!


The beyblade stadium made out of a tree stump reminds me of that one MFB episode. Anyways, great chapter! Smile

Thanks! That episode actually inspired that part in the chapter.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - FreeFafnir64 - Feb. 15, 2020

Bushi is back. Will he win or lose? And great chapter!


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ugen’s Story - Staron - Feb. 15, 2020

Thank's for bringing him back dude.