Hero's Blade [Brigham's Story][Beyblade Story] - TheDigitizedOne - Feb. 21, 2014
Hey guys, this is my first Beyblade story, actually it is my first story in general. Anyways, before you copyright Hero's Blade, I asked permission from GingkaIfritFTW and he said I could write this story from the character I submitted into his story, Brigham.
Prologue:
I walked home from the USPS post office, holding two boxes; One belonging to my new Ripstik, and the other a surprise from my dad, Chris. He left home a long time ago, when I was little. He kinda left me for my mom to take care of by herself, but my dad was a blader for hire, so he was always gone. As I walked, the smaller box from my dad began to glow, and several of my neighborhood's bullies walked up to me.
"Whatchya got there, shorty?" The leader, Michael said. He was six and a half feet tall, while I was only five.
"I've got my new Ripstik, and something from my dad."
"Your dad? Didn't he leave you all by yourself, so your mom could struggle?" I knew Michael was trying to gt on my nerves, but I wasn't gonna let that happen. "No, he left because he has a job that takes him anywhere he is hired, and he does it so he can help my mom keep a roof over my head." I started walking again, only to have my Ripstik taken by one of Michael's henchmen.
"Hey! Give that back!" I reached out to grab it, but it was moved out of my reach. Just then I realized that my box from dad was glowing a burning red, as if it was on fire. It started getting warmer, so I pulled off the tape and opened the box. Inside was a bey. It had the performance tip and fusion wheel that my dad's had, but it had a note attached. I quickly read the note, which said that Phantom Orion B:D was now mine, and that dad had been called into the army so he could go fight in the war. I pulled out my launcher, then loaded the bey. I aimed at Michael, who knew what I was asking. "Before we start, if I win, I get my Ripstik back. And if you win, you get my lunch for a week. Deal?" "Deal." Michael knew what Brigham had for lunch, and had a deep wanting of the food Brigham's mom cooked.
"3" I yelled out as Michael's two henchmen stepped back.
"2" Michael shouted.
"1" We cried out at the same time.
"Let it RIP!"
We both launched our beys at each other, me having to sidestep in order to get hit. "Go now, Phantom Orion!"
"What?" Michael was confused. "Isn't that your dad's bey?"
"Not anymore!" I cried out, taking his moment of confusion and using it to my advantage.
Just as Orion sped towards Michael's Blitz Fireblaze, something strange happened. The city's power went out, and for a few moments, everything was completely dark. Everything but our battle. During this darkness, Orion emitted a huge burst of energy, which looked like a big bonfire, then everything went dark again. Soon the power came back on, and Orion looked different. In an instant though, I lost control of what used to be Orion, and it went wild and hit Fireblaze, sending it flying into Michael's backyard. He quickly handed me back my Ripstik and ran off, while I walked over to Orion and picked it up. I looked at it, and the bey looked very different than when I had opened it. Oh well, I thought. I will just look at it at home.
I walked the rest of the way home, then went inside. I was out past curfew, but that was really just mom's bedtime. I silently closed my front door and locked it, then I went down to my basement and into my room. I was pretty tired, so I put the new Orion on my desk, next to my repair tools, then I changed out of my jeans and took off my vest, then I got in bed.
RE: Hero's Blade [Brigham's Story][Beyblade Story] - Airus - Feb. 21, 2014
Nice, love the prologue. So I'm guessing that the prologue takes place in a country outside of the war?
RE: Hero's Blade [Brigham's Story][Beyblade Story] - TheDigitizedOne - Feb. 21, 2014
No, it'll take place in the US, but in an area unaffected by the war.
RE: Hero's Blade [Brigham's Story][Beyblade Story] - Airus - Feb. 21, 2014
(Feb. 21, 2014 9:55 PM)TheDigitizedOne Wrote: No, it'll take place in the US, but in an area unaffected by the war.
OK. Hope this gets good feedback! Not many errors with spelling or grammar that I can see! Keep it up!
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