The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - Printable Version +- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org) +-- Forum: Off-Topic Forums (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums) +--- Forum: Your Creations (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Your-Creations) +--- Thread: The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) (/Thread-The-Age-of-The-Vulcan-a-beyblade-story) |
The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - SnakeFangsâ„¢ - Oct. 29, 2012 Hey guys, this is my story about beyblade, I hope you like it. I'm not quitting, by the way, even if the world explodes while I'm trying to write a chapter Please read the story, vote in the poll and comment. I accept and appreciate constructive criticism but do not like scolding my story without a reason. Prologue Spoiler (Click to View) Chapter 1: Spoiler (Click to View) RE: The Age of the Vulcan - kyoyatategami - Oct. 29, 2012 its okay but i would of put a prolouge the story of those two beys fighting would be in it but its fine i will keep giving feedback on your chapters and how to improve them(like an editor i guess) youre story has good potential and you can take it towards many different paths RE: The Age of the Vulcan - thelegISlAtive - Oct. 29, 2012 so far so good RE: The Age of the Vulcan - SnakeFangsâ„¢ - Oct. 29, 2012 Thanks for the advice guys! I'll take it into account. RE: The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - sarabscientist - Oct. 29, 2012 I've changed the title, but it would really be preferable that you learn how to do it yourself ... RE: The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - SnakeFangsâ„¢ - Oct. 29, 2012 (Oct. 29, 2012 4:22 PM)Insomniac. Wrote: I've changed the title, but it would really be preferable that you learn how to do it yourself ...Thanks, it wasn't working when I tried to do it. RE: The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - SilverChronos - Oct. 29, 2012 It's pretty good, but It needs more content in its chapters. That doesn't look like a chapter, but more of a prologue. Chang that, and add some chapters, and this could be a good story. 1 more thing... describe the beys. It really would help a lot to know what the beys were like. Adding the parts of them would be very helpful. Maybe that could go in the next chapter. RE: The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - SnakeFangsâ„¢ - Oct. 29, 2012 (Oct. 29, 2012 5:00 PM)ukdl123 Wrote: It's pretty good, but It needs more content in its chapters. That doesn't look like a chapter, but more of a prologue. Chang that, and add some chapters, and this could be a good story.Thanks for the advice! RE: The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - SnakeFangsâ„¢ - Oct. 29, 2012 Editing Story RE: The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - SnakeFangsâ„¢ - Oct. 30, 2012 Chapter one changed to prologue and I've written a new chapter one RE: The Age of The Vulcan (a beyblade story) - SilverChronos - Oct. 30, 2012 Chapters need to be WAY longer. That was a little more than a paragraph. Plus, the characters have no description. In a story, people want to know what the characters are like, what they look like, what their personality is, all the basic stuff about describing the characters. Fix the length and the character description, and you've got this story patched up into something worthy of having the first choice on the poll clicked. And FYI, try not to copy the anime. We all know that what happened in the 1st chapter is basically the exact same thing that happened to Tsubasa. |