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Love story By DARK RAINBOW - DARK RAINBOW - Aug. 16, 2012
[/b]This is my first story that i have typed out and shown anyone, never mind love story, so please if there are any spelling, grammar mistakes or overly cheesy bits, please comment on them. I'll try to change the mistakes as soon as possible, i also don't know if this is too stereotypical so you can comment on that too, thank you for your help!
Characters:
Alexander Jackson (17): Main character
Hair colour: black
Eye colour: brown
Occupation: student (delinquent)
Natalie Isabella (16): other main character
Hair colour: blond
Eye colour: blue
Occupation: Student (transfer student)
Markus James Anderson (16): Alexander’s best friend
Hair colour: brown
Eye colour: black
Occupation: student (delinquent)
Sophie (surname undecided) (16)
Hair colour: ginger
Eye colour: brown
Occupation: student, class rep
Miss Taylor (27)
Hair colour: brown
Eye colour: brown
Occupation: biology teacher, and Alexander, Markus and Sophie’s form tutor
Chapter 1
Another wet school day and Markus is taking shelter under Alexander’s umbrella while walking to school.
“Dammit we’re late for school again, Miss Taylor is gonna kill us.†cursed Markus.
“What do you care?†replied Alex, as he said this, in the corner of his eye he spots a girl taking shelter under a bus station, and he stops walking.
“Sophie’s gonna eat us for breakfast, apparently when we’re late she get all the...†realizing he was starting to get wet he turns to find his friend staring at the pretty girl.
“Hey, Alex!†he exclaimed.
“Yeah, what?†he replied as if woken up from a dream.
“I didn’t know you had a thing for blond girls...†he chuckled cheekily with a smirk.
“Hey, shut up!†he returned slightly embarrassed, they stood around for a bit longer “Where does that bus go to?â€
“Certainly not school, she’s probably just waiting for the rain to die down a bit†upon hearing this Alex notices the uniform she wore was indeed that of his schools.
“If you like her you should go talk to her,†Markus suggested at last.
“You know at times like this you say the most stupid of things,†but then he thought “but it might just work!†Saying this he left his friend to get wet and walked over to the girl.
“Hey...†Markus begun, only then deciding that it was best not to interrupt, and continued his journey school.
“Hey.†Greeted Alex nervously, only now realizing how petite the girl was,
She slowly raised he head and smiled.
“Oh, Hello!†she replied sweetly, Alex blushed looking away
“We should get to school, you can walk under my umbrella,if that okay with you.†he suggested.
“Ok, thank you,†she thanked him with another cheerful smile, and they begun their way to school.
And i'll leave it at that! I know it's a little short but i'm still working on chapter 2, i'll post it as soon as possible also please help me think of a good title for my story, i'm really stuck.
Again: Thank you!
RE: Love story part 1 - DARK RAINBOW - Aug. 23, 2012
I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll finish part 2 because even though around 60-70 people have read part 1 none have posted any sort of reply at all wether it's a good comment or bad, I consider that more than very bad since that means no-one cares.
But on the other hand if you are interessed please PM me or post to let me know. Untill then...
RE: Love story part 1 - dragonFang101 - Aug. 23, 2012
i liked the chapter 1 bt dere were some grammar mistakes
best of luck for chapter 2......!!!!
RE: Love story part 1 - TakasuMouce - Aug. 23, 2012
You put commas instead of a period.
And you missed a few capitals throughout the part.
RE: Love story part 1 - DARK RAINBOW - Aug. 25, 2012
Thank you for pointing out the mistakes i seriously appreciate it!!
and since I've got posts here's part 2:
chapter 2
Finally arriving at school, Alex turns to the short girl and she thanks him gratefully and showing him a smile of appreciation.
“Well, see you around then,†Alex begun “hey, by the way what’s your na...†before being rudely interrupted
“HEY! ALEX!†Someone behind him shouted, suddenly he felt a hand grabbing his collar and it begun dragging him. Alex lifted his head and immediately recognised the face belong to no other than Sophie.
“Hey! Get off me!†he complained while struggling in vain.
“No way, do you know how late you are?!†she replied, at that very moment the bell rung for the beginning of 2nd period.
After class was recess and Alex tried looking for the girl, but gave up after asking the underclassmen and decided to look for her at lunch, he would go check the lunch hall then, but there was no hope.
The next day before first period “Alright, today we have a new transfer student!†announced Miss Taylor, and as if on cue the door slid open, all the students gasped including Alex recognizing the new student immediately as a girl stepped in front of the classroom.
“Hello, my name’s Natalie Isabella, it’s nice to meet you!†she greeted cheerfully,
At recess the girl was found to be very popular among both boys and girls, but Alex and Markus simply sat on the sidelines, observing...
There you have it the girl Alex accompanied to school in the last chapter has been transferred into his class, it did take me sometime to finish part 2 because it was hard to find the words, so if there are any confusing bit or parts that just don't make sense please post below.
i'll hopefully finish part 3 soon, but on the other hand if i don't get any replies i'll stop writing the story.
RE: Love story part 1 - TakasuMouce - Aug. 25, 2012
Just put part two here. You don't need another thread.