World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning (/Thread-STORY-The-day-my-bey-stoped-spinning)



STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - King of Lions - Jun. 28, 2012

This is my first story so please take it easy on me ok.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
[spoiler]






















RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - Syco - Jun. 28, 2012

thats a tinge of suspense i see there.Good writing but focus on the spellings


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - King of Lions - Jun. 28, 2012

thanks echoes of hell i'll work on the spelling, and i promise chapter two will make you say THIS IS AWESOME!!!!


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - DefStamina88 - Jun. 28, 2012

Hrrm...

It's very much "smushed' together. You should open it up quite a bit. I am getting too lost in where to read...


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - King of Lions - Jun. 28, 2012

Other then how smushed up it is, is this is a good first chapter?


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - DefStamina88 - Jun. 28, 2012

Eh, could be better... I've seen better, but I've also seen worse...

P.S., put your chapters in spoilers so that way it isn't blocking up space and put the Chapters in the OP to prevent us from searching through the pages to find each chapter...


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - King of Lions - Jun. 28, 2012

how you put them in spoilers?



RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - CocoaPuffs - Jun. 28, 2012

Code:
[spoiler]your text here[/spoiler]



RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - King of Lions - Jun. 28, 2012

ok thanks


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - Duck - Jun. 29, 2012

This is pretty good, but the chapters need to be longer. I suggest that you uncenter it also, as it was hard for me to read that way, and, like DefStamina88 said, make it less smushed.


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - King of Lions - Jun. 29, 2012

i'm taking some ideas because after this plot i have for the story i got writers block
(i'm only choosing one idea)


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - Syco - Jun. 29, 2012

good writing.Make the chapters a bit longer and use a dictionary while writing.
and by the way u were write about the second chapter

read this



RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - King of Lions - Jun. 29, 2012

Thanks dude now i'm done with chapter four and there is literaly no dicternary at my house.


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - Syco - Jun. 29, 2012

wheres chapter 6???


RE: STORY: The day my bey stoped spinning - CocoaPuffs - Jun. 30, 2012

(Jun. 29, 2012  2:17 PM)echoes of hell Wrote: wheres chapter 6???
There aren't going to be any more chapters, he is banned.

Time to close this?