Unnamed Beyblade story - Printable Version +- World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc. (https://worldbeyblade.org) +-- Forum: Off-Topic Forums (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Off-Topic-Forums) +--- Forum: Your Creations (https://worldbeyblade.org/Forum-Your-Creations) +--- Thread: Unnamed Beyblade story (/Thread-Unnamed-Beyblade-story) |
Unnamed Beyblade story - CocoaPuffs - Feb. 21, 2012 Chapter 1 (Click to View) RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - PhantomKid - Feb. 21, 2012 It's pretty good I liked maybe make your chapters a bit longer and, try to make it your own if you do that you'll be well on your way! RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - Clefairy - Feb. 21, 2012 Really nice job there! I really like it. KIU! RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - Sparta - Feb. 23, 2012 OK, just a few things: *Try to avoid using "stuff," "Like," and other non-specific, slang words. Makes your story seem less authentic. Instead, use your subject (In this case, "Beys"). *The ending was good. INstead of using yelled for each one, you changed the word-into good words, too. I couldn't see any way you could've avoided not using a subject after your dialogue, so that was well done. RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - CocoaPuffs - Feb. 23, 2012 Sparta Thanks, I'll work on that. Have I improved from last time? Haha. RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - Aura - Feb. 23, 2012 I like the story!I was mad while I was reading it.It calmed me down c: RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - Clefairy - Mar. 10, 2012 When are you continuing this? RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - Clefairy - Apr. 27, 2012 Mars, so when are you continuing this? I asked this question twice now. It's a good story. RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - Duck - Apr. 27, 2012 I like it. It has good grammar. The fact that it was centered made it hard for me to read though. RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - CocoaPuffs - Apr. 27, 2012 I think I will continue it over the weekend. Sorry, I havn't been active for a while. RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - TakasuMouce - Apr. 30, 2012 Great job! I love the idea. Its great! And I agree with Fakir Duck, it's kinda hard to read. RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - CocoaPuffs - Jun. 19, 2012 School is finally over for me! I plan on ing chapter 2 tomorrow! RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - SpiritXBey - Jul. 31, 2012 Walmart fight ftw! I like that story! I think it might be more interesting if Cyo wins his first match but looses his third, so that he can understand how beyblade is not only hard, but difficult, then he can really get into beyblade! RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - Beychamp76 - Jul. 31, 2012 really nice story i look forward to more chapters RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - H3LLO - Aug. 01, 2012 Wait is there really a loose part section of walmart? RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - CocoaPuffs - Aug. 01, 2012 (Aug. 01, 2012 2:59 PM)AnsonihArrow Wrote: Wait is there really a loose part section of walmart?Nope I made it up. Also to all of you waiting for new chapters, there probably won't be any because I wrote the first half of chapter 2, and I lack creative characters. So, I'll take character requests, but I will only accept ones that I think will help the story. RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - H3LLO - Aug. 01, 2012 Awwwww... I wish there was a loose parts section... RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - CocoaPuffs - Aug. 01, 2012 (Aug. 01, 2012 6:39 PM)AnsonihArrow Wrote: Awwwww... I wish there was a loose parts section...Yeah that would be pretty cool RE: Unnamed Beyblade story - H3LLO - Aug. 01, 2012 I have a solution! Sombody become the CEO of walmart and then make a loose parts section! XD |