The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - You Give Character Requets, YOU DIE! - Kujikato - Sep. 28, 2011
“The True Snipe of Revengeâ€
Prologue:
It was a cold and windy night. Atop a lonely hill, stood a sniper, his name was unknown to his targets, only his title, "The Gillie of Death", was known and feared by all......
As I crouched to keep myself hidden, my Quantum Security Sniper Channel Headset rung. I answered the call from HQ. HQ had just received a phone call from the Dragon Bravo Squad; they needed a sniper to eliminate some turrets that they were struggling against in their infiltration mission. After hearing this, I said to my A.I, Bass, "Bass, get my chopper over here ASAP, I'm needed somewhere else." As I said that, my chopper flew, ever so silently over my location. As I stood up, a huge explosion burst in front me! Then, as I jumped into my chopper, it let lose a rain of fire, destroying whoever had fired that RPG at me.
I jumped off my chopper, headed towards the location of the Dragon Bravo Squad. As I arrived there, I instantly spoke to their squad commander, Blake. He explained that their sniper was killed yesterday when trying to help another teammate, resulting in both of their deaths. After that happened, he called HQ, asking for another sniper to eliminate the turrets. He then expressed his gratitude towards me for accepting his request. I replied, "The real reason that I accepted your request was so that I could get my revenge, your infiltration mission was requested by me so that I could get revenge on the leader of the Grinders, Grant, who killed my best friend, the leader of the Dragon Shadow Strike Squad, Izuma."
The cold clammy air stung my cuts, I gazed at the floor, meditating, trying to find the answer to my situation. Suddenly, the door opened with a slam, I looked up, seeing the face of the person who placed me here, Grant Gust. I looked away, knowing that if I looked into his face, my blood would boil and send me into the "Rage State", which at this time was something that I had to avoid. As he glared at me, I could feel the rage state slowly build up, I had to stop the state from reaching its maximum level. If I didn't, I would have met my end, right there, because he had 10 bodyguards of the Alpha Grinder Squad, known around the world as the Squad of Death.
After gaining permission to eliminate the turrets and their operators, I headed towards a nearby hill, as I slowly sneaked towards the hill, I remembered what Izuma had last said to me, Continue the fight, I'm only another casualty, take out Grant if I don't! My inner self sighed, Izuma's death was so hard to bear, for his entire squad and myself. As I pondered on the events that led to his death, there was something missing, if Izuma had died, why didn't the Grinders send a "Ha Ha" message, claiming their victory, they merely sent a letter saying that they have captured 30 of our troops, all of them loyal and tough warriors, unlikely to share our secrets. This all seemed totally queer; there wasn't a single aura of Izuma's death in the letter. Then, a sudden movement alerted me, there was a turret moving, I slowly lifted my sniper rifle to my shoulder, loaded my 2.95 explosive round, and took the shot. Seconds later, a small explosion issued from the turrets location, then a limp, lifeless figure fell to the ground from the turrets position, I grinned, one turret and it's operator down, nine to go.
It was in the war in the 4th galactic quadrant of the Grinder Liberation mission. Izuma and his squad were in a special stealth mission to destroy the Grinder Flagship, the Incura. I was asked to accompany his squad due to my fighter's X-1 Hydras Cannon that was capable of destroying 30 standard fighters with one blast. As we approached the Incura, Izuma said to me over the headset channel, "Get your cannon charged and ready to fire in 1 min." I quickly replied, "I know what my task is but thanks for the reminder." I could see Izuma grin; he knew that we would accomplish this mission.
Hehehe, they know not of the trap that awaits them, hehehe, hahaha, bwahaha!
As we slowly cruised towards the Incura, I spotted two cruise missiles headed our way. I relayed the info to Izuma. He calmly replied, "I saw them 1 minute ago, please, upgrade your radar or your attentiveness."
I retorted, "Please, you are just an escort..... I'm the real trump for this mission!"
He coldly replied, "No, you're not, the information we have on the Incura states that it's hull is twice the maximum penetration capability of your Hydras Cannon, that's why they chose me, I have the X-0 Iracrus Cannon, capable of 150% maximum penetration than the X-1."
I said, "That's why, if we both shoot then we'll penetrate the Incura's hull."
Izuma said, "Duh."
"So they have the X-0... And the X-1, well, that won't be a problem, let them attack and feel the wrath of the thousand suns!"
"So be it my liege."
As we zipped through the debris left from the destroyed cruise missiles, I saw a bright light; there were hundreds of them, all shining like suns. I wondered what were they but kept my thoughts to myself. Then, Izuma said, "The Incura's weakest point is where the nozzles connect to the ship, we tear a hole there, we can destroy the ship."
I answered, "Yeah, that is, if we don't ignite the huge outrush of explosive gas from the hole."
He grinned, "Yup, we'll have to kill our engines and deactivate our cannons so that we don't blow ourselves up.
We ripped the hole successfully, unharmed. Suddenly, the lights I saw earlier began to come racing at us! I yelled to Izuma, "Look out, something on starboard!"
He said, "**** it! That's the Forbidden Attack, A Thousand Suns! Scramble Typhoon!"
I said, "Roger that!"
We both jetted our engines and raced away. However, Izuma suddenly turned around and said, "You get back to HQ, I'll finish the mission."
"No! I'm not letting you go back!"
"Continue the fight! I'm just another casualty! If I don't take out Grant, you better do it!"
"No! Izuma! Are you crazy!?"
"No, I've got to finish this fight, please..."
I sighed, "Ok, go, I'll tell HQ that you willingly sacrificed your life to try to take out Grant."
"Thanks, D"
I raced towards the Incura, docking in its bay, I jumped out and grabbed my energy kantanas, slowly moving forward, I headed towards the bridge. When I arrived, I glared at Grant, we engaged in a fight, he slashed at me, right and left, I swiftly dodged all his attacks. Then, I striked, using one kantana as a shield, I charged at him and struck a fatal blow, he called his medics and summoned his stupid bozos to finish me. Overwhelmed by the odds, I was captured. I knew I would be listed as KIA. A perfect chance to learn info about Grant.
I can't believe that he died... It's impossible! Sonai sighed, "He must have been captured, that's why..."
Rioge said, "He would break out in a second unless he was badly wounded..."
Blitz retorted, "If he had told me, we all could have helped."
I replied, "Before he turned to attack, he said about the Forbidden Weapon, A Thousand Suns, any ideas about that?"
Sonai gasped, "No, that's impossible too, we sealed that weapon away just a week ago... Why is this happening?"
I said, "We can only continue to attack Grant until he is defeated."
Sonai sighed, "Fine, we will..."
A week after Izuma's status became KIA; we sent Grant and the Grinders down to Hell. They only had one fortress left in the entire cosmos. That last fortress was the dwelling place of Grant. I requested that the Dragon Bravo Squad infiltrate the base and make any attempt to destroy it. Now, that mission is underway.
Amidst the smoking ruins of the stronghold's gates, there stood a person, its cloak of black blew in the wind. As we approached, it said, "Hey, aren't you going to say hi to me?"
As he said that, he took off the hood. All the men gasped and I was taken aback; it was Izuma! We ran towards him, suddenly, just as we were about to reach him, a flash of sliver darted like an arrow between us. That flash said, "Heh, good think I stopped you before you got to him."
We gasped, another Izuma!
I then said, "To accretion which one of you is the real Izuma, I ask you to answer this question, "what did you say to me at the attack of the Incura?"
Instantly, the second one said, "Continue the fight! I'm just another casualty! If I don't take out Grant, you better do it!"
I gasped, he really was alive.
We instantly attacked the first 'Izuma' he threw off the cloak and mask. It was Grant.
Izuma and I stood, glaring at him, chuckling, he said, "How did you like the trick? That's only one of many."
Izuma said, "Grant, enough, you lose."
He replied, "Oh?! Really, well, I might as well tell you, this is only the beginning of my grand plan, stop me if you two can!"
Without saying a word, Izuma turned and walked towards the camp. I could tell that Izuma had done that for a reason, his energy must have been spent escaping and using the Silver Streak Dash, he had no choice but to retreat, to fight meant death.
It was so hard; Izuma was considered KIA, yet we knew it couldn’t be. We had searched through all the ruins of the Grinder’s fortresses but none had signs of Izuma. We decided to ask Typhoon what Izuma had said as a last hint to where he was, Typhoon reported that Izuma had said for them to remember his motto before he turned rouge, “Keep thy friends close, but thy enemies even closer.†Then, it dawned upon Sonai; Izuma was near their base, and was with Grant, either as a prisoner or the dominator. Sonai knew that she had to defeat Grant solo. However, Sonai also knew that compared to Grant, her capabilities were extremely limited, she only had and used 95 signature techs and the basic 90 techs while Grant knew 10 forbidden techs, the 90 basic techs, and another 100 signature techs; However, overshadowing them all, Izuma and Typhoon both had shown full knowledge of the 90 base techs, a total of 30 forbidden techs and a jaw breaking 250 signature techs. Sonai knew she had to learn more so she could take Grant out, little did she know that that would maybe her last fight alongside the Twelve Shadows.
“Darn it! The radio’s busted!†Izuma exclaimed, he bashed it to the ground and stomped towards his tent, they had been stranded for a whole month with no contact to the rest of the team. I sighed, I knew the source Izuma’s exasperation; the rest of the team was in the dumps after Izuma’s ‘death’. Then, all of a sudden, Izuma’s eye glistened as he said to me, “Typhoon, how would you like to fly on a dragon?†I replied, “Oh boy, here we go again,†then a rather exasperated, “Lets go!†As I packed our stuff, Izuma went behind a rock, suddenly a shout rang out, clear and strong, “Dragon Sage Style – Summoning, Ageos, Dragon of the Times!†as that shout echoed, a huge, wizard like dragon appeared and said, “Izuma, Izuma, when will you learn? NEVER MESS WITH GRANT WITHOUT ME!†Izuma calmly replied, “Keep ya voice down Ageos, Grant will hear us if you keep up that kind of racket.†Ageos replied, “Fine, lets get out of here now!†Izuma grinned and whispered, “Thanksâ€
I kept at Blitz, dodging or parrying his attacks, his huge sword came crashing right, left, side, up, everywhere, even though he was younger than me, his swordsmanship was one to be feared, Number 3 in the global rankings and the sole wielder of the Berserker Blade. As he swung his huge blade to the left, I suddenly leapt forward with my gantlet blazing with my water chakra. As he twisted to get me on the broad side, I stabbed him in the side, ending the stimulation. As we collapsed from exhaustion, he grinned, “Nice work sis, getting better.†I hurriedly gasped, ‘Thanks.†Then we both fainted from pure exhaustion. Across the room, Rioge, The Ranger, and The Willow stood, observing the battle. As they collapsed, Rioge grinned, “Blitz will never change, a flurry of attacks backed up by huge chakra reserves, just like him.†Then The Ranger replied, “Yep, same goes to Sonai, similar to Mohammad Ali, just bear it through and then strike hard.†Willow commented, “Blitz has gained control over his lightning chakra, no?†Rioge said, “Yeah, he has, why are you asking?†Willow said, “Then, it is time for him to learn the Sacred Tech, “Lightning Style – Rasenshuriken!â€
As we approached our base, ‘The Shadow’, I heard Izuma mutter under his breath, “I hope the other ten are alright...†Suddenly, Ageos shuddered and I was tossed off Ageos, acting with amazing cool, I merely used my signature tech, ‘Board of the Wind’ and jumped back on Ageos. Izuma said, “I wonder what I happening to make even one like Ageos shudder…†suddenly, Ageos muttered, “The World Championships for the best swordsman is about to begin, I fear that we will not make it in time along with Inferno and Blitz.†I replied, no sweat Ageos, Izuma has a plan ya know.†A couple of seconds later, we landed in front of the huge fort. Izuma strode forward and said in a voice of a true leader, “Arise, Gates of the Twelve Shadows!†as he said those words, the gates opened and we entered. We headed towards the main hall, as we walked in, we heard running feet. Izuma spun; his cloak billowed with his speed. When he stopped, so did the running feet. And for the first time after a whole year, The Twelve Shadows were re-united, one once again.
We dashed into the stadium, Izuma, Ranger, Willow, Flare, Blitz, and I. just in time to register and prepare our swords. Izuma’s twin kantanas glistened in the sun; Blitz’s massive Berserker Blade was a wondrous sight to behold, his stout, sturdy body and his immense sword, a sword with no equal in size. The Ranger, Flare, and Willow help long and deadly broadswords. However, above them all was my blade, made of steel folded over a thousand times and encrusted with diamonds. None could match the sheer beauty of my blade, The Wind Rapier.
The first rounds of the tournament began. Izuma was up first. He strode into the stadium with such ease and nobility that many gasped at his presence. His contender stood across him, Dante Firius. The herald blew his horn, and the battle began.
Dante leapt forward, stabbing right, left, and center with his sword. Instead of blocking them with his kantanas, Izuma just leapt back. The crowd started to boo. Izuma then cast a glare, a glare so cold yet burning with power. He leapt into the air, and drew his blades. As he leapt, Dante cursed and twisted, only to find himself trapped between Izuma’s blades. He fell to his knees and surrendered. The herald blew his horn again, and the battle ended; in just 1 minute. I grunted and stood, my battle was next, and the Wind Rapier was hungry for battle once again.
RE: The Treu Snipe of Revenge - Sniper - Sep. 28, 2011
*sobs* Loved.....every.....last....word. Its a masterpice XD XD XD
RE: The Treu Snipe of Revenge - Kujikato - Sep. 28, 2011
thanks, im working on chapter 6 right now, SPARTA, PLEASE CnC THIS!!!! I NEED YOUR EXPERTISE
RE: The Treu Snipe of Revenge - Kai-V - Sep. 28, 2011
Did you mean "True".
RE: The Treu Snipe of Revenge - Kujikato - Sep. 28, 2011
yeah, thanks for pointing that typo out Kai-V
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - Kujikato - Oct. 01, 2011
Does anyone read this?
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - DrigerG2 - Oct. 01, 2011
thats really great keep it up!
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - Kujikato - Oct. 01, 2011
Thanks! But I really should make the chapters longer, almost done with chap 6, will be posted tomorrow
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - Clefairy - Oct. 22, 2011
(Oct. 01, 2011 6:27 PM)Izuma Inzori Wrote: Thanks! But I really should make the chapters longer, almost done with chap 6, will be posted tomorrow
Can't wait...I think you forgot to post chapter 6?
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - Temporal - Oct. 22, 2011
It's pretty good...minus the comma errors. One of these days I'll offer to edit it, but I'm feeling kinda lazy. I'll point out an example instead.
All of the men gasped (Independent Clause), I was shocked (Independent Clause), it was Izuma (Independent clause)! Essentially, a run-on comma splice. Try saying this:
All of the men gasped, and I was taken aback; it was Izuma!
Now, you have an independent clause, followed by a conjunction attached to an independent clause, making it dependent, finished off with a semi-colon to avoid a comma-splice so you can use that last independent clause.
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - Kujikato - Oct. 23, 2011
Thanks Temp Chap 6 is almost done, had a writers block...........
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - Kujikato - Oct. 24, 2011
Enjoy Chapter 6
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - Kujikato - Oct. 25, 2011
Chapter 7a is up! CnCs please!
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - You Give Character Requets, YOU DIE! - Destroy24 - Oct. 25, 2011
this is a writing art of masterpiece
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - You Give Character Requets, YOU DIE! - Kujikato - Oct. 25, 2011
(Oct. 25, 2011 6:08 AM)Destroy24 Wrote: this is a writing art of masterpiece
Thanks! hope others feel the same
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - You Give Character Requets, YOU DIE! - Kujikato - Oct. 28, 2011
Chapter 7b is now up!
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - You Give Character Requets, YOU DIE! - Sparta - Oct. 28, 2011
Wait, you wanted some critiquing? OK, uhm...I'm a little rusty on reviewing, but here's one for chapter 1:
1) Give us a bit o' background on this guy. Who is he? Why is he a sniper? Maybe just only gives us a bit, a teaser if you will, to keep us intrigued in the character.
2) DESCRIPTION!~What sounds did the helicopter make when it landed? What color were the generals eyes? Does this guy have a scar on his face? All good stuff.
3)
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - You Give Character Requets, YOU DIE! - Kujikato - Oct. 29, 2011
yep, good point Sparta, will fix that when I do chapter 8
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - You Give Character Requets, YOU DIE! - PlayMadeSimple - Oct. 29, 2011
Here to point out a typo in the first paragraph of chapter one. Loose in place of lose.
Correct: My pants were very loose since I lost weight.
Incorrect: My pants were very lose since I lost weight.
Correct: My mother forced me to lose because my brother would cry otherwise.
Incorrect: My mother forced me to loose because my brother would cry otherwise.
I'm sure you know the difference. This is where Microsoft Word doesn't compare to reading it thoroughly in terms of reliability. I would encourage you to read it a few times then put it in Microsoft word, to fix any errors you may have missed.
Ah, sorry. I'm not too sure on military abbreviations 
RE: The True Snipe of Revenge - A Novel - You Give Character Requets, YOU DIE! - Kujikato - Oct. 29, 2011
yep, thanks Mushy and since it is a military - stealth organization story, KIA, MIA, AWOL, all are general terms
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