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+--- Thread: Wing Attacker Draft (Complete and Needs Approval) (/Thread-Wing-Attacker-Draft-Complete-and-Needs-Approval)
Wing Attacker Draft (Complete and Needs Approval) - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 26, 2011
(Nov. 21, 2011 11:22 PM)Imperial Wrote:(Nov. 04, 2011 9:44 PM)Phoenix Inferno Wrote:Wing Attacker
1.(AR) Wing Attack Ring. Number 30
2.(WD) Wide WD. Type: Attack
3.(BB) Semi Flat. System 4 layer
4.Gallery
5.Overall
Attack Ring (AR) Wing Attack Ring
8 grams
This AR has an oval shape with two blunt wings on each side with no real prominent contact points. This AR has a gimmick in which two "wings" attached to the AR by metal coils retract outward from the inside gaps in the AR while the beyblade is at a high RPM. These wings are meant to push away opponents and absorb shock. When these wings are fully extended, the AR's gaps are left open and exposed, leaving the beyblade very vulnerable to attacks by the opposing beyblade. When these gaps are hit, this causes the beyblade to be easily knocked off balance making it easy for the opposing bey to score a sleep out or a stadium out. The Wing Attack Ring is known to have severe breakage issues related to the wings and gaps. Occasionally the wings will be put under too much stress and snap off the Attack Ring. Also coils can come loose making the wings non-retractable, but this is easily fixed by unscrewing the screws holding the wing and fixing the coil. When the gaps of the AR are constantly hit, the AR itself can snap and break apart. Considering its bad design and incapability to produce any Smash Attack due to the wheel having no effective contact points or being unable to properly absorb shock, this AR should in no way be used competitively.
Mold Variations
The Hasbro version of the AR has differences. The AR has the two notches on the end. Also, the AR has a filled in gap on the wings;this decreases breakage issues. These don't effect weight.
Weight Disk (WD): Wide
See Wide Weight Disks.
Blade Base (BB): Semi-Flat
See Semi Flat.
Gallery
Overall this beyblade has no competitive purpose and should only be bought for collection purposes.
Some edits.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Kai-V - Aug. 26, 2011
You really need to stop posting bad drafts and try to improve those you have already posted, because this is just really not helping either of us. It is a waste of time.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - BeyCenter - Aug. 26, 2011
This draft is not very descriptive and is VERY short. Also, Its not very helpful in the giving out information about it.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - LeonTempest - Aug. 26, 2011
Phoenix, I know you want to help and everything, but these drafts help no one, especialy if you aren't even going to edit them after we critique them. Either make your drafts better using the suggestions we have given you in the past, or stop writing drafts until you develop the necisary skills and information. It is that simple
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 26, 2011
Thank you I dream of helping the community, not corrupting it. Hears an improvement..
Wing Attacker
4 Layer System
Attack Ring (AR) Wing Attack Ring
This AR has a oval shape to it. It has a gimmick that when the Beyblade with a wing attack ring is launch,Its "wings" come out to push away opponents. These "wings" will open a weak spot. The AR has no use and should not be used in a competive situation.
Weight Disk (WD) Wide WD see Wide weight disks
Blade Base (BB) Semi flat see Semi Flat
Gallery
Overall this beyblade is completely outclassed and should only be bought for collection purposes only.
Is this better than the last one?
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - TimelessOne - Aug. 26, 2011
(Aug. 26, 2011 12:23 PM)Phoenix11 Wrote: Thank you I dream of helping the community, not corrupting it. Hears an improvement..
Wing Attacker
4 Layer System
Attack Ring (AR) Wing Attack Ring
This AR has a oval shape to it. It has a gimmick that when the Beyblade with a wing attack ring is launch,Its "wings" come out to push away opponents. These "wings" will open a weak spot. The AR has no use and should not be used in a competive situation.
Weight Disk (WD) Wide WD see Wide weight disks
Blade Base (BB) Semi flat see Semi Flat
Gallery
Overall this beyblade is completely outclassed and should only be bought for collection purposes only.
Is this better than the last one?
It's still the same short. I think you should really just work on the previous drafts that you have posted.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - LeonTempest - Aug. 26, 2011
Agreed. Not to be rude, but I have to ask, do you even own these beys? I no longer own many plastics beys and I could write more than this...
read around the plastics testing on the customization forum, there is bound to be information there that can help expand this
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 26, 2011
Yes I own one and repaired one of its wing
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 27, 2011
My first draft
Wing Attacker
Number 30
System 4 layer
Type Attack
Attack Ring (AR) Wing Attack Ring
This AR has a circular shape. Its gimmick is it has two "wings" to help push away opponents when you launch it. These Wings open up a weak spot when opened, But when it loses endurance the wings retract leaving the AR able to be thrown due to the gaps. It is useless and semi-fragile it shouldn't be used at all.
Weight Disk (WD) Six Wide see Wide weight disks
Blade Base (BB) Semi-Flat see Semi-Flat
Overall This bey is useless, and should only be bought for collection purposes only.
Better right I know it is short but I tried hard.I'm opened for suggestions
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - LeonTempest - Aug. 27, 2011
I will admit this is better, but so much more could be said still, even if all you are really writing is the AR section, but I will just critique it as is.
Quote:Its gimmick is it has two "wings" to help push away opponents when you launch it"Its" is supposed to be 'it's" but refrain from using that anyway. Be more specific. Also, "is it" is not something you normally want to write. Reword that a bit.
Quote:These Wings open up a weak spot when opened]Good, but be more specific on this "weak spot." Describe it a bit more and how it effects the use of the AR. I assume it is the gaps from the wings.
Quote:, But when it loses endurance the wings retract leaving the AR able to be thrown due to the gaps.
A run on sentence. Seperate the previous quote and this one into 2 sentences, and reword the second half to say something like this; (the bolded is what has changed)
Quote: When the beyblade loses endurance, the AR becomes vunerable to attacks due to the wings retracting, leaving gaps in the AR. This leads to the bey being thrown off balance.
Quote:It is useless and semi-fragile it shouldn't be used at all.This is just a bad sentence. It isnt terrible, but try rewording this too.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 27, 2011
Wing Attacker
Number 30
System 4 Layer
Type Attack
Attack Ring (AR) Wing Attack Ring
An AR with a Circular shape. The Gimmick of this AR is that when spinning, two wings come out with the help of metal coil. The AR's look like they would have smash,but this is negligible. When the wings are open the gap is a weak spot. When hit hard, the beyblade is easily flung around. When the beyblade looses endurance, the beyblade is vunerable to attacks due to the wings retracting leaving gaps in the AR. This leads to the bey being thrown off balance. The AR is bad and shouldn't be used for competitive purposes
Weight Disk (WD) Six Wide see Wide weight disks
Blade Base (BB) Semi-Flat see Semi Flat
Overall This beyblade has no competive purpose and should only be bought for collection purposes only
This is a improved draft is this better credit goes to LeonTempestXIII couldn't have done this without this help.[/align]
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Ultra - Aug. 27, 2011
Semi-Flat BB has some uses which should be mentioned in the overall bit but apart from that I think you've pretty much said all you need to.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - LeonTempest - Aug. 27, 2011
It is no problem. I have been looking foward to a Wing Attacker article anyway for some time now.
I can definatly say that this article is now getting somewhere, but is certaintly isnt ready yet. Here are a few more adjustments you may want to consider making.
Quote:An AR with a Circular shapeThis sentence is ok, but your original sentence from the your previous draft seemed better, but that is just my opinion. What i will say is that both sentences don't flow very well with the rest of the section. It seems choppy.
Quote:The Gimmick of this AR is that when spinning, two wings come out with the help of metal coil.I will start off with a small nitpick comment; gimmick should have a lower case G. But that wont matter in a second.
Instead of saying "The gimmick of this AR...(etc)" try rewording it to this;
Quote:This AR has a gimmick in which two "wings", attached to the AR by metal coils, retract outwards from inside gaps in the AR while the Beyblade is spinning. These wings are ment to push away thier opponents, although it produces very minimal smash attack. When the wings are fully extended, the AR's gaps are left open and exposed, leaving the Beyblade very vunerable to attacks by the opposing Beyblade. When these gaps are hit, this causes the Beyblade to be easily knocked off balance and essentialy "thrown" around the stadium, making it easy for the opposing bey to score an Outspin or a Stadium Out. The Wing Attack Ring is known to have severe breakage issues related to the wings and gaps. Occasionaly, the wings will be put under to much stress, and snap off the beyblade or break. When the gaps of the AR are constantly hit, the AR itself can snap and break apart. This makes the AR essentialy useless for competative play.
(Aug. 27, 2011 9:13 PM)Ultrablader Wrote: Semi-Flat BB has some uses which should be mentioned in the overall bit but apart from that I think you've pretty much said all you need to.
But isnt there a Semi Flat BB section on the BB article?
As for the Overall Section, you don't have to add too much, but just re-mention that the AR has no real uses and is prone to breakages.
I am not sure if there are mold variations for the AR, but it doesnt matter really. I owned atleast 2 Wing Defensers (essentialy the same AR with the same issues) in my day, and both of them broke after some minor use. I may have gotton a third one, but if so, I didn't use it and kept it mint, as it was one of my favorite beys. (because it was my 1st bey) regardless, it is gone now... =(
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 27, 2011
Ok near perfect
Wing Attacker
Number 30
System 4 layer
Type Attack
Attack Ring (AR) Wing Attack Ring
This AR has an oval shape with two wings on each side. This AR has a gimmick in which two "wings" attached to the AR by metal coils,Retract outwards from the inside gaps in the AR while the beyblade is spinning.These wings are meant to push away opponents, although it produces very minimal smash attack.When these wings are fully extended, the AR's gaps are left open and exposed, leaving the beyblade very vulnerable to attacks by the opposing beyblade. When these gaps are hit, this causes the beyblade to be easily knocked off balanced and essentially "thrown" around the stadium,making it easy for the opposing bey to score a sleep out or a stadium out. The Wing Attack Ring is known to have severe breaking issues due to the wings and gaps.Occasionally the wings will be put under too much stress and snap off the beyblade or break. When the gaps of the AR are constantly hit,the AR itself can snap and break apart.This makes the AR essentially useless for competive play
Weight disk (WD) Six Wide see Six Wide
Blade Base (BB) Semi-Flat see Semi-Flat
Overall This beyblade has no competive purpose and should only be bought for collection purpose only.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Ultra - Aug. 27, 2011
LeonTempest:
Yes there is but I meant add a bit to the overall section saying how it was slightly useful.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - LeonTempest - Aug. 27, 2011
Its seems as if you almost re-wrote what i said, rather than just copy and paste. I noticed that you deleted all of the spaces after punctuation marks...why?
"Breaking" doesnt make sense in that sentence. Use "breakage" like I used before.
The breakage problems are related to the wings and gaps themselves. The AR doesnt just spontaneously break, so I suggest changing the sentence back.
Another stupid nitpick: "Retract" should not be capitalized
In all honesty, there is really nothing more to say here. Now just wait for Kei and see what he has to say. =)
UltraBlader: Isnt SF a very common BB as far as 4 layer plastic gen beys are concerned? Either way, you are right, the AR and BB need a brief mention in the Overall section.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 27, 2011
Fixed now my article
Wing Attacker
Number 30
System 4 layer
Type Attack
Attack Ring (AR) Wing Attack Ring
This AR has an oval shape with two wings on each side. This AR has a gimmick in which two "wings" attached to the AR by metal coils,retract outwards from the inside gaps in the AR while the beyblade is spinning. These wings are meant to push away opponents, although it produces very minimal smash attack. When these wings are fully extended, the AR's gaps are left open and exposed, leaving the beyblade very vulnerable to attacks by the opposing beyblade. When these gaps are hit, this causes the beyblade to be easily knocked off balance and essentially "thrown" around the stadium,making it easy for the opposing bey to score a sleep out or a stadium out. The Wing Attack Ring is known to have severe breakage issues related to the wings and gaps. Occasionally the wings will be put under too much stress and snap off the beyblade. Also coils can come loose making the wings not retract. When the gaps of the AR are constantly hit,the AR itself can snap and break apart. This makes the AR essentially useless for competive play
Weight disk (WD) Six Wide see Wide Weight Disks
Blade Base (BB) Semi-Flat see Semi-Flat
Overall This beyblade has no competive purpose and should only be bought for collection purpose only.
Note Credit goes to me and LeonTemperestXIII (one of my favorite users)
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 30, 2011
This has not been said, wing attacker has cases were the metal coil comes out if Kei is reading this come back in 5 minutes everybody else it needs to be said because it involves the bey. I will erase this if needed comment yes or no.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - LeonTempest - Aug. 30, 2011
I think kei is currently away right now, so that is why alot of articles which are finished haven't even been looked at yet.
Quote:Occasionally the wings will be put under too much stress and snap off the beyblade;The coils can come loose making the wings not retract. The gaps of the AR are constantly hit,the AR itself can snap and break apart.
The ; is not needed, make it 2 seperate sentences. For sentences 2 and 3 in the quote, use "Also" and "In addition" at the start of each sentece, otherwise it just sounds like a list, which a wiki article shouldnt.
A since you are basicly done, now the nit picky stuff becomes real stuff: Put spaces after puncuation marks!
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 30, 2011
LeonTemerpestXIII, thank you for helping me I friended you even sorry that needed to be said Also the Final draft is the one I'm using
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - LeonTempest - Aug. 30, 2011
Almost forgot, "WHEN the gaps of the AR...." don't start the sentence with just "The"
It is no problem at all, like I said, i will do as much as I can to get all of the remaining plastics articles up on beywiki.
I don't mind that you friended me, I am actualy flattered. Thanks.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 30, 2011
I'm doing it now it is my first draft that doesnt stink
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - BeyCenter - Aug. 31, 2011
It just needs more description and info. And some grammar and spelling check.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - LeonTempest - Aug. 31, 2011
Eh, not much more can really be said, it's Wing Attacker
BTW, Phoenix, copy and paste your final draft to the OP, rather than just keep the outdated one.
RE: Beyblade wing attacker draft - Phoenix Inferno - Aug. 31, 2011
Fixed now my article
Wing Attacker
Number 30
System 4 layer
Type Attack
Attack Ring (AR) Wing Attack Ring
Weight 8 grams
This AR has an oval shape with two wings on each side. This AR has a gimmick in which two "wings" attached to the AR by metal coils,retract outwards from the inside gaps in the AR while the beyblade is spinning. These wings are meant to push away opponents, although it produces very minimal smash attack. When these wings are fully extended, the AR's gaps are left open and exposed, leaving the beyblade very vulnerable to attacks by the opposing beyblade. When these gaps are hit, this causes the beyblade to be easily knocked off balance and essentially "thrown" around the stadium,making it easy for the opposing bey to score a sleep out or a stadium out. The Wing Attack Ring is known to have severe breakage issues related to the wings and gaps. Occasionally the wings will be put under too much stress and snap off the beyblade. Also coils can come loose making the wings not retract. When the gaps of the AR are constantly hit,the AR itself can snap and break apart. This makes the AR essentially useless for competive play
Weight disk (WD) Six Wide see Wide Weight Disks
Blade Base (BB) Semi-Flat see Semi-Flat
Overall This beyblade has no competive purpose and should only be bought for collection purpose only.
Note Credit goes to me and LeonTemperestXIII (one of my favorite users)