Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Sparta - Aug. 17, 2011
The round that will decide who shall see Temporal for the gold!
Entry 1
Chapter 3 A Heartbreaking Betrayal
“ 3..2..1 Let it Rip! †chanted the crowd. The beys went flying into the stadium and started circling the stadium. “ I have a plane to catch, so lets get this over and done with. †said Nally. Galaxy Orso, Special Move, Black Hole Sucker! †she screamed. The stadium started to fall down into a black hole. “ Don't think I haven't seen moves like this before, little Missy. †said Hemo regaining his confidence. Lacerta sped fast to Orso. But a light flashed into his head, and it wasn't just any ordinary light, it was the laser that sent him to the hospital. It startled him and Lacerta fell into the black hole. A rip above him awoke Hemo. It wasn't any ordinary rip, it was a rip in space. He could see darkness, then a shiny object came plummeting down. He realized it was his bey and held out his hands to catch it. But the speed was so incredible, that it went on fire. “ Oh God †yelled Hemo as he dived out of the way of the bey. It crashed through the ground and sat there. “ N.. N.. Nally has won! †stuttered the Announcer. The tournament went on and Nally won it. Hemo left the Colosseum and walked out of town. “ Hey wait up †two voices called behind him. “ It's us, Po and Jod †Po grinned. They talked all night and laughed and had lots of fun. But one thing was still unclear.... The laser Hemo saw. He thought about all night, and eventually thought it was just a traumatic experience. They had battles, and of course, Hemo owned them. They shared ghost beyblade stories and had damper around the campfire. “ Hey guys, I have a question, if you could make any type of bey part, what would it be? †Hemo asked the siblings. “ Well I've been thinking about this for a while †Jod started. “ I did have this dream once, where I saw a spin track, I call it A150. It stands for Axe, and it's free spinning. †Jod said. “ So it's like H145 cross ED145, right? †Hemo asked. “ Exactly †said Jod delighted. “ What about you Po, do you have any dream parts? †Hemo asked again. “ Yeah, I also had a dream. I dreamt that there was this performance tip, and it would change from Balance to Defense to Stamina to Attack. †she said out of breath. “ Ok, we did ours, what about you? †Jod asked Hemo. “ Uh... Well... How about a facebolt that can change from MF-F to other weights. †said Hemo. “ That sounds good, I'd buy it! †said Po. “ Here here! †agreed Jod. “ Alright, I'm off to bed. †yawned Hemo. Hemo kept having the same nightmare all night. The dream was Hemo was in nothing but darkness, then he'd see somebody walk up to him. It was always the same person.... Ferthity. Then, she would pull out a bey. “ This here is Unicorno †she would say. Then Hemo would say “ No it isn't, that's Dragoon, idiot. †Then she would pull out Unicorno, its facebolt would light up. Then shoot a laser at Hemo, then Hemo would go flying down into darkness. After the 5th time of that nightmare, Hemo decided to get up. But for some reason, Hemo couldn't move his arms, or his legs for that matter. He'd been tied to the ground! The tent flap was open and he saw somebody walk past. It was... It was... Nally! “ Hey, Nally! †Hemo cried. She saw Hemo and raced toward him. “ OMG, who did this to you? †she asked shocked. “ Stupid Jod and Po. †said Hemo frustrated. Nally untied him. Then Hemo remembered he was a blader. “ My stuff! †he cried when he looked in his case which use to be full of bey parts. “ No, no, no, no! †he cried more. “ well if it cheers you up, I won this at the last tournament, she held out a Segment Launcher Grip and a Beylauncher LR. Hemo couldn't believe his eyes, not only from the gifts Nally was giving him, but Jod and Po were so nice that they left Burn Lacerta in the case. “ Why does everyone I meet have to be such meanie-bo-beanies? †he asked Nally jokingly. “ Come on, I've decided I like Australia so much that I'm going to stay here for a bit longer †Nally said holding out her hand. “ Fine with me †said Hemo accepting her offer. “ Alright, our new journey, begins NOW! †they both shouted. Nally was so fascinated with Australia's land marks. She kept going on and on about how much she wants to see The Three Sisters and Ayer's Rock or Uluru. The funniest thing about her, Hemo thought. Was when they were walking through the bush and a kangaroo jumped out and scared the living daylights out of her. They came upon a town known as Newcastle. They went to the nearest stadium to check out the bladers. But one stood out the most, his name was Edan. He used an Earth Serpent W105 SF. Even though the only good part of the bey was Earth, he was remarkable with it.
Entry 2
A Heartbreaking Betrayal
The headquarters’ guards fell as they demonstrated no match for my intentions. The maze of a building was built so that not even the owner could recognise his way through these treacherous corridors. On every corner sat a naïve guard expecting to wipe the floor with me, the outcome became his cheek slapping the floor instead. The Beyblade that raised alarm in the building knew no limits; it was egged on knowing that the Gods of Victory favoured those that did not give up. Whilst venturing through the wilderness that gave no opening, I kept my head down and took a series of left and rights what probably was half the day. It came as a surprise to me to see a stretched mahogany door wide open, furthermore, there was no security around it whatsoever. Perhaps the guards couldn’t find this spot, but that didn’t seem convincing. Pouring out of the door was a blinding green light, pulling me inside. Before I could recognise the situation, I was far within the room already, standing helplessly in the centre of the room, with the slab of wood cranking to a close after me.
Above me, I heard the sound of yet more clanking, the clanking of metal and gears. Upwards was light, light that seemed so distant, it was like the sun of a different galaxy. I was locked in an inverted tower that looked as if it were hundreds of metres tall. Before searching for an exit I walked over to the buzzing computer in the room’s corner. The information necessary belonged to such a computer, therefore copying the files to a USB wouldn’t be hard. Flashing beeps popped up on the screen, “Overriding commands, deleting all files.†One by one, the files were deleting themselves, followed by laughter hollowing around the tower.
On the ledges on the tower sides, appeared guards in their hundreds, with metal already locked on. Peering down at me, the hundreds of faces definitely looked intimidating. Before such a grim destination, countless battles left a formidable level of stress on that oxidised slab of metal hung in my pocket. Previously, the multiple battles left the blade in a near-shattering state; the spirit burned on nothing a particle of resilience. One guard stood, he had slimy gelled hair that stretched all the way to the back of his neck. He was the tremor that lead to the avalanche. The connection of gears resulted in yet another missile coming my way. My instincts through myself to the ground, allowing the missile of a bey to slice passed by ear, a deafening noise.
The snow slipped on the ice below, a huge wave of a snow compound began rushing towards me. In an instant, all that could be seen and heard was, bright LED sights blinding my vision, with the cranking of gears deafening my hearing. I mimicked the launching of beys similarly as if I were a guard myself; the stamina beyblade Libra GB145WB would have to strive to accept the huge collisions the sniping of beys unendingly came. There was nowhere for Libra to run or hide, behind centred in the solid cylinder of a tower. The desperation this awkward situation gave me, the fact that there was nothing that I could display, was feeding me to the devil known as defeat. The situation threw panic at me, however, I had bottomless confidence that the Libra structure wouldn’t give in to the spray that Gatling gun (which fuelled on its’ ammunition: round chunks of metal and plastic) laid on Libra. Every so often, a flicker of red would bounce passed me or hit me flat in the face. It demonstrated the slow death Libra was showing me.
As I saw Libra authenticate the unbelievable, it tilted heavily to one side as unbelievable mass dropped on its’ side – Libra wobbled. The guards in this room were not the ones outside, their Gattyaki shots were top notch, each blade was equipped with Granite metal wheels, it was rumoured the wealth of the entire WBO could afford just three. As I soon realised, their attacks were just the tip of the iceberg, the light from above stood out. Victory favoured those that never gave up, I had no plans on giving up despite the situation. Libra knew this wasn’t the situation yet the several commands I demanded, none of them seemed to be accepted. The situation further debilitated me; Libra sat in the middle of no-man’s land in broad daylight, with the opposition fully equipped with heavy machine guns and artillery pounding that area.
“Can’t even control your own blade?†hissed a voice from the highest ledge. That man wore bare white clothing, a clicking of his fingers returned an elderly man, his servant holding a metal case. The opening of such a case was clearly one to be frightened of.
“Thanks for playing!†giggled that half-entertained psycho.
His rip demonstrated inhumane aptitude. As the blade fell off his launcher the words slipped out of my mouth without control, “Father, how could you?â€
The Metal Screw Sharp bottom ripped into Libra’s metal face, directly through the centre, cake-slicing it into four. Libra had given up upon contact; the intertwining determination for victory between me and Libra shattered as betrayal before my senses. The thirst to never give up was a failure; Libra allowed such damage to occur on itself.
Time to vote!
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - DynaZord - Aug. 17, 2011
Let's see. I vote for... entry 1. To me, the story is much more amazing than entry 2 
This is my first writing vote, so I dunno if what I said is right or wrong XD
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Sparta - Aug. 17, 2011
EDIT: Took the quote out, so it's still anonymous.
Uhh...no it doesn't 
I changed it. There, completely anonymous.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - SwiftShadow - Aug. 17, 2011
I vote for entry two. I really liked the descriptions used in entry two and I just liked the ideas that the writer put in it. One thing that I didn't like about entry one was the way it was fomatted, since it was just one big block of text. It was hard for me to read and I would end up skipping over parts accidentally, but that might have just been my ADD distracting me. Anyway, I thought both of these entries were good, but I liked entry 2 better. Both of the writers did great work and deserve to have made it this far.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - ControL_ - Aug. 17, 2011
(Aug. 17, 2011 12:22 AM)Coasters "R" Us Wrote: Let's see. I vote for... entry 1. To me, the story is much more amazing than entry 2 
This is my first writing vote, so I dunno if what I said is right or wrong XD How did you read both entries in 2 minutes still with time to write your post and come to a conclusion?
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Sparta - Aug. 17, 2011
(Aug. 17, 2011 12:32 AM)ControL_ Wrote: (Aug. 17, 2011 12:22 AM)Coasters "R" Us Wrote: Let's see. I vote for... entry 1. To me, the story is much more amazing than entry 2 
This is my first writing vote, so I dunno if what I said is right or wrong XD How did you read both entries in 2 minutes still with time to write your post and come to a conclusion?
Why do you care so much? Honestly, I absolutely hate when people get mad for such picky reasons. Maybe it's possible he just skimmed through each and picked out what he liked?
I don't know, it's just annoys me when I see people getting all picky. Just be polite and don't over-react.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - TenshouTsubasa - Aug. 17, 2011
I'll vote for entry 2.
When I saw the first entry, I thought :WTF!? THIS IS MARIO'S BLOCKS!?
And, It didn't bring me to the story.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Temporal - Aug. 17, 2011
Same. I read both, and 2 was just a better story. They were both Semi-Finals quality, however, but the brick of text turned me away. In other comments, not to be mean, but I agree with ControL_. We all put a LOT of work into these stories, and if someone bases an opinion off of how it looks after a skim, it hurts our pride as a writer, and is kinda disrespectful. I mean, at least acknowledge the work they went through, right? Unless your entry looks like Shadow X 956something or other. Then you can ignore it. Because obviously, not much effort went into it.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Ninja Crab - Aug. 17, 2011
NOT COOL PEOPLE.....
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Temporal - Aug. 17, 2011
Ah, that's done with. Moving on now, Score is 3-1, Entry 2.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - @ce - Aug. 17, 2011
i think number 2 suits every thing it tops entry 1 by a high flyer
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - ControL_s SouL_ - Aug. 17, 2011
Definitely entry 2. It signifies the theme to the maximum level. There is so much tension and the icebreaker was being betrayed by his own father. That truly is a heartbreak betrayal.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - TenshouTsubasa - Aug. 17, 2011
Game!
5-1, Entry two wins.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Ninja Crab - Aug. 17, 2011
DAMN IT!!!!!!!!! Congrats Control_ Im the best writer at skool and i will start putting storys on WBO but main thing Congrats Control_
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - TenshouTsubasa - Aug. 17, 2011
So now the best two writers of WBO is here: Temporal and Control!
who will be the best one?This is gonna to be a big fight!
Now The broadcaster - Tenshou Yoku ( which is me) and the ones who are eating popcorns on the bench are going to watch this battle!
I will report and point the views about the writings once they are right out from the cooker!
And-
Let the wings of hope bless these two best writers!
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - ControL_ - Aug. 17, 2011
Thank you Mr broadcaster, uncomfortably building up the tension :p haha.
Just to let you know, my post was about as polite as you can post it, please read it in a neutral mindset.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Temporal - Aug. 17, 2011
But there IS some tension. It is technically the Super Bowl of the WBO Writing community. You get one shot, and one shot ONLY. You swim or drown. You feast or die of starvation. Second Place is only the first loser. That kind of thing.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - ControL_ - Aug. 17, 2011
(Aug. 17, 2011 2:30 PM)Temporal Wrote: But there IS some tension. It is technically the Super Bowl of the WBO Writing community. You get one shot, and one shot ONLY. You swim or drown. You feast or die of starvation. Second Place is only the first loser. That kind of thing. Wow.... That doesn't help the nervous feeling.
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Temporal - Aug. 17, 2011
Actually, I'm kinda nervous. You're supposed to be. If you don't really feel anything during a competition, then it is not the competition for you, no?
RE: Writing Tournament Semi-Finals: ContoL_ Vs. @wesome! - Sparta - Aug. 17, 2011
(Aug. 17, 2011 2:38 PM)Temporal Wrote: Actually, I'm kinda nervous. You're supposed to be. If you don't really feel anything during a competition, then it is not the competition for you, no?
And with that challenge by Temporal, I would like you both to please visit the official thread for the announcing of the last theme-and a twist!
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