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Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - erez7600 - Aug. 04, 2011
Hello! I am going to make a fan fiction story called The Pegasus's Last Wing. It is about the extinction of all beys that have the bit-beast of Pegasus. Here are all the characters and afterwards a description of the story.
Character: Nao Hayashi
Part: Main Character
Beyblade: Star Pegasus 85RF
Description of Character: Nao Hayashi is our main character and one of the last people to have have a Pegasus. Protecting his pegasus from pegasus hunters and bounty hunters, Nao will protect his bey no matter what the cost is. He is very honest and lives in a nice, small, cozy home with his mother, Yumi Hayashi. His friends are Kimiko Mori and Ryuu Yoshida. He is a master blader and is known for his very powerful beyblade, Star Pegasus 85RF.
Description of Beyblade: The fusion wheel star looks like a regular star polygon making the beyblade look like a wicked attack type. The bit-beast is the Pegasis and is one the last 3 left. The spin track 85 is a very low spin track making the beyblade really low and destructive to raised beys. And the infamous RF (Rubber Flat) is an excellent attack type performance tip but epicly fails in stamina, it makes the bey go in circles really fast usually making vortex's automatically. The fusion wheel and energy ring are both dark blue but shiny. The facebolt is a normal pegasus's facebolt and the background is dark blue matching the fusion wheel and energy ring. Star Pegasus's special move is Shining Star Fall, Star Pegasus flys up into the sky and then crashes down bringing little pieces of rocks from outerspace come crashing down into the stadium and makes a huge blue explosion. Overall a very effective attack type bey.
Character: Ryuu Yoshida
Part: Main Character
Beyblade: Dragoon Destroy 100FF
Description of Character: Not alot of information about Ryuu for he is an orphan that was raised by himself on the streets. When he is first met by Nao he is cocky and very obnoxious for he didn't like Nao at first. But after Nao saved his life Ryuu got to like Nao a lot better. He found Dragoon Destroy in a dumpster and related to the beyblade for it was forgotten and tossed away just like himself.
Description of Beyblade: Dragoon Destroy is a remake of the old Dragoon, making it compatible with the new version of the beyblade 4D system and the Metal Masters system. Dragoon's energy ring is the only other compatible energy ring with Destroy fitting perfectly and not getting pushed out. It is shaped like dragon wings and is pretty heavy making the beyblade a heavy attack beyblade. Dragoon is a dragon bit-beast and has the power to shoot flames from its mouth at its opponent, scorching the other bey and making it fly out of the arena. It is heavy so it has a hard time getting knocked out of the arena and the FF (Fast Flat) tip makes it so it can move around very fast. The basic 100 spin track makes it low enough to be a normal attack type. FF tip is a new tip meaning Fast Flat and it is the exact same of the normal Flat tip but Dragoon's power modified it so the Flat tip makes the beyblade very fast. And then the fusion wheel destroy makes the beyblade a destructive bey making it almost impossible to escape its deadly barrage of attacks. It is meant for L-Drago but Dragoon fits in it too.
Character: Kimiko Mori
Part: Main Character
Beyblade: Not known till much later
Description of Character: Kimiko is a beyblade fanatic, genius, and shopkeeper. Even though she is a teenager like Ryuu and Nao, she watches over her shop called Beyblade Corner because her dad is traveling all over the world and does not have time to take care of his shop so he gave it to her for safekeeping and for money. Kimiko knows about everything if its about beyblades and carries a little laptop that she made called Dai for it means Great One and she highly praises her laptop for it is very very helpful in her theories and collecting thoughts. Kimiko doesn't know much about her mother for she died of a deadly disease. But she tries avoiding topics about her family and instead tries to keep Ryuu and Nao on track about what they are going to do. She is the guider in the group and information beacon throughout there adventures. She repairs and sells beyblades at her shop but sadly does not battle with them. She takes care of herself very well and is known for her hospitality to everybody.
Description of Beyblade: She doesn't have one but she makes beyblade with spare parts and uses them in battle to test if they are sellable or not.
Character: Hajime Tanaka
Part: Main Character
Beyblade: MF Dark Abyss CH120F
Description of Character: Hajime Tanaka is a power hungry person and is the leader of the project: Pegasus's Fall. And that is the project where all Pegasus's are supposed to get destroyed in the most destructive way. He is also the CEO of a powerful corporation called The Abyss, and they are an advance group of highly trained powerful bladers that pretty much control wherever they go. Most people get corrupted from them because Hajime offers an incredible amount of money to whoever eliminates the last 3 pegasus's. So bounty hunters, police men, and even friends of the main characters turn on them. Hajime is a very powerful blader and is possessed by his beyblade Dark Abyss. He is an adult unlike Ryuu, Nao and Kimiko. He wants to destroy all Pegasus's because he got envious of Gingka Hagane who always won against him and he was beaten countless times. So he decided to get back by creating an organization and by making a twisted beyblade that would destroy any Pegasus in his way.
Description of Beyblade: MF Earth Abyss CHH120WD is an defense bey having excellent balance and sturdy defense. CH120 is a tricky spin track, able to change from 120 to 145, it can be used for height or for sneakiness of 120. The metal face bolt gives the beyblade the excellent balance it needs to sustain attacks from attack types and the WD keeps it from getting knocked out of the stadium for it is wide and it grips the stadium very well. Abyss's bit beast is the Tartarus from Greek Mythology, its a giant crack where they throw the most dangerous creatures inside of it. It is endless and impossible to get out of. The fusion wheel Earth is another heavy part of the beyblade that keeps it from getting knocked out of stadiums and helps keep it in the center of the stadium.
Okay well I am done for now and if you like it so far please comment and say your thoughts. Also if you want to give me feedback please feel free to! I will try to get in the story every day so enjoy!
RE: Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - erez7600 - Aug. 05, 2011
Okay I am continuing the story and I am done with the characters. I am now going to go on to the main piece of the story.
Chapter 1:
The Day the Pegasus's Fell
Hello my name is Nao. My full name is Nao Hayashi and I am a master blader. Or so thats what my friends called me. It was a normal day in my city called Tanaka City.
It was named after the family who founded and built it. Of course it was a normal beyblading city at first. Adults watched and worked and lived a normal life. And of course all the kids challenged each other and hosted tournaments to see who had the best beyblade. And I was granted the title master blade when I entered our very famous one that was really official like, called The Best Blader. TBB to be short. I won that tournament and that is how I became Master Blader Nao. Everybody said my bey was awesome. Star Pegasus 85RF. I just told everybody that we had a beyblading spirit as hard as a rock. But that was before. Before all this chaos is happening right now this moment. The Day when the Pegasus's fell. It was a normal day. In the afternoon it was nice and sunny. Typical for this city barely got rain. I was heading to where every beyblader goes in our city, its called the Bey Lane. Its just an abandoned street that has big holes in the ground that are shaped like stadiums. There are tons of them so every blader gets a chance to show off their skills. So anyways I was heading there and once I got there everybody was crowded near a small tv that had cable on the abandoned street. It was a news reporter saying that all Pegasus's should be eliminated on order of Hajime Tanaka, Ruler of the town and CEO of the company The Abyss. The person that destroys all of them would get a $1,000,000 fund. And thats when everybody turned on me. I don't know how to really explain accept that all of my friends, all my rivals...just turned on me. It was so sudden. They all launched there beys at once. And I couldn't back down, so I launched mine too. Of course I won, but it wasn't the celebrating victory. It was still a defeat, to think that all my supposedly friends turned on me. I ran while all of them were still knocked down by my pegasus's power. I knew I had to get to my mother. To get to safety, because for now on I was the prey. Others were the predators. And I was cornered. But I will always remember that day...I became the prey.
Chapter 2:
Pegasus's Hope
Once I got home I made sure the door was locked. I ran into my room to see my mom crying and looking very pale. I knew she heard the news. "Don't cry mom. Please don't, you make me very sad when you do!" I said. "Honey! You are in so much danger! Do you know how much danger you are in!" My mom said back. I knew she was right, so of course I would say what any smart person would say. "I know." "I have to get you out of here honey! I mean if I don't they are going to find you so easily! Honey, I will have to let you go on your own adventure across the world. You need to find good friends Nao! Friends that will protect you no matter what! The first person you go to is Kimiko. I know her father and she will probably help you...then the second person...I don't know." My mom said. It was almost to much information to understand but I got the main points. Find Kimiko, get out of here and then find another person on the way. I took a deep breath and said. "Okay mom." She came over to where I was standing and gave me a strong hug and a kiss. "Be careful honey. And go now while the news is still spreading and not fully advertised. Good luck and please don't get hurt!" She said and she kissed me again and pointed out to the back door of our house. "Go out that way. Then people won't notice you as easily." My mom said and then she went to the front door and waited for the police to come. "Goodbye mom." I said. And hurried out the back door. I had a plan and an idea on how to get out of here. The only thing that sucks is I don't have a third friend. I lost them all I thought. I looked at my bey and I said to it "Just for you." And then I ran off heading to Kimiko's store, Beyblade Corner.
Hope you enjoyed reading those two chapters! More will come tomorrow!
RE: Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - MakaCHOP! - Aug. 05, 2011
Not bad...
...im not fully feeling it but not bad at all...good start
RE: Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - Temporal - Aug. 05, 2011
Hrm... The flow is pretty bad. The grammar isn't terrible, but I honestly wish I had a BD145 for every missing comma. I'd have about 15-20 then. Your spelling is pretty good, but I also have one little issue: Your character... He is one of the biggest Mary-Sues I've seen. Defeating a crapload of people at once, consoling his mother, becomes sad once his friends turn on him, and outrunning a whole company. Mary-Sue, big time. Plus, this Kimiko person... She wouldn't happen to be related to the Chief of Madoka in any way, would she? I mean, the similarities are all right there. I say mediocre.
RE: Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - erez7600 - Aug. 06, 2011
Thanks guys! I will seriously take your comments in consideration when I write the next two chapters in the story! I will make the guy less powerful and the Kimiko is going to be like Chief and Madoka for I see that all my stories should have a smart person in there otherwise it wouldn't be a story for me. And I will work on the flow. Sorry if its a little rough! D: A lot of my stories are so its not the first time thats been said about my stories. But guys thanks again I will take your comments in consideration.
RE: Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - erez7600 - Aug. 06, 2011
Okay well hope you enjoy these two new chapters of the Pegasis's Last Wing!
Chapter 3:
Desperate Child
It was hard navigating through the streets. I had to go through the back alleys where the clueless homeless people begged, and the where vile smells lurked all over. But I knew it was the only way I was getting anywhere without getting caught. Unfortunately I still did. "Hey stop right there!" A kid with torn up clothes and wild looking hair looked at me. You could tell he was homeless and had some rough times since his green tee and black sleeveless trenchcoat were all torn up. His jeans had holes in them and looked like a dog had scratched him on the legs. Surprisingly he wore expensive looking combat boots. But I didn't have time to think about where he got them. "Your that kid with the Star Pegasus! Let's battle!" The homeless boy said. I knew I had to fight otherwise he wouldn't leave me alone. And I knew if he kept on yelling like that at me, I was for sure to get attention from the people on the real streets. "Fine. But lets make this quick." I said. "Oh it won't be quick. For I will be getting turning your bey's parts in after this." The boy said with to much confidence. That popped something in me but anyways I launched in anger. The boy had fast reflexes and launched almost the same time I launched. I was expecting a 1 hit K.O. but that didn't happen. We initiated a real beyblade battle. Star Pegasus looked like it had the advantage, until the other bey launched my bey upwards. It was amazing how much power that other bey had. I was stunned on how strong that thing was for no bey at Bey Lane had shown that much amazing skill. But I snapped out of it and started to think how I was going to defeat this bey. Obviously this was an attack type for no defense, balance or stamina type could've shown that much strength. So attack type vs attack type I thought, only the one with more power would win. "Push him into the ground Pegasus!" I yelled. It listened to me and crashed down into the other bey. There was a lot of dust but I could hear the other kid laughing hysterically. "That won't work!" And next thing I knew my beyblade was right by me and the other bey was spinning like nothing had happened. The strange thing was there was a crater in the ground! "How is that possible!" I said in a defeated tone. "Its called the FF performance tip. Stands for Fast Flat and I am the only person who has it." The kid said. Great I thought. I needed to match this amazing speed and power with my own. And I knew only one way to do it. "Pegasus attack him! Hold him until I the moment comes!" I yelled. My Pegasus replied with fast instincts and started barraging the other bey. It was not an even match. The other bey was more powerful and dodged the attacks and used its amazing speed to hit my bey when it was least expecting it. I had to think on when the moment was though. The way the other kid was attacking was a pattern. It was dodge, attack. A simple but deadly pattern. I figured it out. Right when he attacked me I have to let him knock me into the sky. "Pegasus!" And my bey understood perfectly, as if we shared thoughts. He attacked and I went flying into the sky. "Heh. Looks like I win!" The kid said as cocky as ever. "Not yet." I said. "Special Move Pegasus! Shining Star Fall!" I said it with all my strength. I knew this would make me a beacon where everybody would check out but I took the risk. I would just run away after this. It hit and it was flash of blue. And all I could hear was the kid saying "What!" Then my bey flew to me and I ran.
Chapter 4:
The beginning of an Adventure
I sprinted to Bey Corner as fast as I could and before I knew it I was there. "Whoa! Why are you so sweaty?" Kimiko Mori asked while polishing a bey. I looked up and saw her. She was pretty well dressed. She a tan scarf around her neck and a yellow tee on with text saying "Got a Bey?" in the middle. And then she had regular blue jeans and red tie on shoes on. "Oh you are Nao Hayashi huh? I understand your mom gave me a phone call saying that you would come. Hurry come in my bedroom and rest. You will need it." She said in a helpful tone. Of course I listened I mean who would deny rest after having a day like this? I walked up the stairs behind the desk where she kept her money. Right next to the stairs I saw the guest room. It was a nice room it had a fair colored wallpaper with a brown border and the ceiling as well. In the middle there were 4 blue couches on top of a blue rug. I wasn't resting in there though. I went to her room and it was a nice room. It was small but I wouldn't see why it would need to be any bigger. To the left there was a work desk and a portable looking laptop and some beyblade parts. On the right there was a drawer with a picture of her dad and mom. And then on the other side of the entrance there was her bed right next to a window looking outside. It was fair colored walls just like the guest room and the floor was shiny brown wood. "You can sit on the bed and I will make you some food." She said. I did as I was told and I looked out the window. It was a nice view. I saw cars driving on the road and then I saw the ocean right next to it. It shined brightly and it gave me hope that there was still things that weren't corrupted and ugly. There was still some beauty out there. "Here we go!" Kimiko said, breaking my focus on the ocean. It was Tamago with a small soy sauce bowl right next to it and some wooden chopsticks on a tray. "Thank you." I said. "Oh you will be thanking me a lot more later." She said confidently. "Now do you even know how to get out of town?" She said cooly. "Uh no." I said dumbstruck. "Well now! How do you expect on surviving without a way to get out of town!" She said. Kimiko went to her desk and brought out her laptop. Okay well the city is surrounded by guards and a high tech metal wall since everybody is trying to find your Pegasus's." She said. "So we would have to make a distraction and then somehow climb the metal wall or break it." Kimiko said. She turned it off and put it in her side pocket. I put the tray down and stood up and patted my belly. "I think I am ready to do anything now that I have a full tummy." I said. She giggled and said "Thats the spirit!" "Your mom said though that before we leave we gather somebody else. Know anybody that wouldn't backstab you?" She said. I didn't know and then I was dumbstruck. Kimiko obviously noticed for she looked confused again. "You don't got that down either do ya?" I said back though "We will find the person we are looking for. Lets just try to go to the gates so we get an idea what we are going against okay?" "Sure." She said. And we walked downstairs, she turned off the light, got a sign and hanged it where it was visible outside saying "Closed come again later!" and then we headed out into the back alleys again.
Well hope you guys enjoyed those two chapters in the Pegasus's Last Wing!
RE: Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - erez7600 - Aug. 07, 2011
sorry guys but for the next two days I am not going to be able to post any chapters for my cousins are going to be at my house. So yeah. Sorry about the inconvenience and thank you for being patient.[/b]
RE: Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - erez7600 - Aug. 15, 2011
okay guys I am sorry about the long wait but I had to move! I am now in my new house and got the internet back but I gotta unpack. So just hang on guys a little longer and I will type on!
RE: Beyblade Fanfiction Story - The Pegasis's Last Wing - erez7600 - Aug. 27, 2011
Okay well this sucks. I am going to have to start school and I can no longer work on this topic. I am sorry peeps that wanted to read on but I can't. I hope you guys enjoyed this Beyblade Fanfiction story for I had a fun time writing it too. Well this is a farewell and Admins. You can lock this topic.