WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Temporal - Jul. 29, 2011
Entry 1:
Quote:The stars are bright, and the moon is round, all hanging up in the sky.
Yoku-san sits on the grassland, holding me in his hands. ‘Galaxy Wingia, do you still remember the last battle when you’re a Storm Wingia?’
Which battle?
.......
.......Ah , I remember it, the last battle that hurts me all over......
3 days ago.....
‘Go, Wingia!’ ‘Rock Leone! knock him out!’
The battle begins for about three minutes, and it almost reached my strength’s Extreme. Even I’m really exhausted. The strong movement of Rubber Flat bottom is still forcing me to do it so, and I cannot resist it.
I forced myself to ram the opponent – Rock Leone D125 WB – and knock it away. Unfortunately, The Defensive power of Rock Leone is over beyond my Attack power, and I’m so exhausted, I couldn’t knock it far away, just only a few meters, and it’s still inside the stadium.
The Bumping force makes me stop from moving forwards, and the high friction of RF almost stops me from spinning. I start to off balance and keep on shaking.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ the owner of Rock Leone is provoking Yoku-san, ‘Come on you dummy, attack me with your wimp, useless bey!’
‘What did you say!?’ Yoku-san yelled angrily, ‘Wingia is not useless! She’s the strongest bey in the world!’ ‘As you say...... Leone! Now destroy it!’
Rock Leone became to wobble. Suddenly, it starts charging towards me!
Yoku-san is angry and yelled out without further thinking, ‘Wingia! Smash it away!’
Actually, I should dodge it and push him away. But even so, I’m still using all my power against the wild beast in front of me.
Then, as what I expected......
‘CRACK!!’ My wings are destroyed by the Rock Leone, and being sent flying.
‘Wingia!’
Why I’m acting so stupid?
Why I’m doing this, even that I know I’ll be destroyed, or even crisped?
Because.....I don’t want it to be happened,
I don’t want to be get rid again......
Several Years ago.
‘You’re no competitive to others! Get lost!’
I’m being get rid of my first owner. I’m weak compared with other attack beys.
.......
‘You’re just weak! Trash!’
I’m being get rid of my second owner.
........
‘Get lost!’ ‘Go away!’
The third, the fourth, I’m facing the same cruel fate again and again, just because I’m weak.
Until, I met Yoku-san.
He didn’t throw me away because I’m that weak, he cared me much, unlike the others, thought us were only used for battling. He carefully cleans me every day, and protected me as a precious tresure......
‘CLANG!!’ My next wing was destroyed, and I’m being continuously bumping by Rock Leone. Fire flakes were sparkling every time I’m clashed by it.
‘No! Wingia!’ Yoku-san cried helplessly.
Every time we battle, we lost, and I got hurt, he always said:
‘Don’t be frustrated Wingia, you’re doing very well.’
Rock Leone suddenly lift me over and, ‘Clash!’ He destroyed my last wing, my last power.
Sorry, Yoku-san, I didn’t do well.
I’m being weak, useless......
I think I don’t have the right to follow you!
Let me just being totally destroyed, crack into pieces in this last battle......
Suddenly, a soft, warm thing holds me tightly. I looked around, and I found that Yoku-san is holding me in his hands.
‘Hey, Blader TenShou Yoku!’ The judge said, ‘ You are not allowed to take away your bey when battling!’ ‘But I can’t let Wingia being maltreated like that!’ Yoku-san cried, ‘Is this right to destroy a beyblade like that!?’
Yoku-san.......
‘Okay, in that case, Blader Johnson wins.’ The judge made the final result, ‘But I must warn you, do not deliberately break others beys or this causes a foul.’ ‘Hmp, at last I still won.’ That guy said, ‘Useless beys should not exist in this world!’
Yoku-san slowly walked out from the Colosseum, with results announcing and the cheering sound in the Colosseum:
‘Today’s winner is Blader Johnson with is Rock Leone! Congratulations you win for three times in NY Colosseum tournaments!’
I hate that guy.
In a sudden, drops of water drops onto my face. I look at Yoku-san, and I found that he is crying. ‘Sorry Wingia, I’m really sorry......’ He said, with a full of sorrow on his face, ‘ If I didn’t call you to smash against Rock Leone, you will not be hurt all over, and your wings will not be destroyed like this......’ He ran faster and faster. The shine of the declining sun shines on his face. ‘I’ll now fix you as hurry as possible.’
It’s okay, Yoku-san......
I’m already satisfied staying with you.......
Destroyed or crisped, is already okay for me......
Being your bey, cared by you......
Is the most happiest thing in my life!
-------------------------
‘Until now, I’m still sorry about that.’ Yoku-san said, ‘if I didn’t made that decision, maybe we still have a chance to win.’
No, Yoku-san.
Winning like that, has no meaning at all.......
‘Yoku, dinner’s ready!’ His mom is calling him. ‘Ahh, now coming!’ Yoku-san hurriedly hid me in his bey holder. ‘Wingia, I go to have dinner first, then let’ bath together!’
Yoku-san I’ll always wait for you, at any time, at any circumstances.......
But please, don’t get rid of me, like other bladers......
Entry 2Quote:Thwack! The snarling daemon fell to the ground, blade still clutched in her hand. I cowered away from her, a scream of terror caught in my throat. Three lichen covered figures then emerged from the undergrowth, two holding swords and one holding a loaded crossbow. Aimed at me!
‘’What are you doing trespassing on his majesty’s land!?’’ the most masculine one asked curiously, but attentively.
‘’I-I-I Don’t Kn-Know really.’’ I stammered, close to passing out.
The ghoulish figure studied me intently and then raised his hand to signal the crossbow to lower. “Then welcome to Alyredor. Come with us then’’ he said glancing around for any other unwelcome visitors. ’’We are the Gladyors of the kingdom Alyredor. We are the Kings highest regarded warriors. To become one of use takes years of training in the deserts of Aryab and suffering the frost of Cosmer. Your name is?’’ he questioned.
‘’Victor’’ I said nervously. ‘’What was that thing?’’ I slowly followed them down the path, reluctant to see where they were taking me.
‘’It was a daemontte,’’ he replied. “They came to this land as soon as the first traveller came. They are deadly to travellers, but they fear the Gladyors.â€
‘’Meaning I’m not the only one one?’’ I said body tensing.
“That’s right, you are not the only one and you can address me as Juan. I am the leader of the Gladyors. The one with the sword’s name is Alfred, he’s the brawn of our unit.’’
‘’Welcome!’’ he said.
‘’And that over there is Jonah. He is the sharpshooter of our team.’’
Jonah slowly raised his crossbow and readied his aim.
‘’Woah, Jonah, don’t shoot Victor!’’ Juan said jumping in front of me immediately.
Suddenly a screeching noise echoed around the path. “The time has come, to reap your soul. You better be ready, for the time is now!’’ The screeching filled my ears and as I put my hands up to block the noise I fell to my knees, weakened.
Figures wearing black turbans that hid all of their face except their eyes emerged from every direction. Jonah let his crossbow string go and the arrow whizzing right past my head, struck the first soldier in the throat causing him to fall silently to the ground.
‘’Oh,no.’’ Juan said,’’ it’s the Gryfferon rebels’’ he slid his sword from its sheath.
Alfred then drew his sword and charged at them. Juan then did the same. Alfred charged the soldier, ramming him with his shoulders then thrusting his sword into the warrior’s chest. The warrior fell silently, sword falling to the ground. But more and more men appeared from the forest. Jonah let another arrow whizz pass my head and into the head of a soldier behind me. His sword nearly slicing through my head. For each warrior that died a ten more came to take his place. I quickly grabbed a sword and lifted it up. I struggled to hit a turbaned figure but did and he fell to the ground without rasping a word. Quickly looking up I saw an archer hiding behind the tree aiming at Juan.
‘’Stop!’’ I cried running in front of Juan. The archer let the string go and the arrow speedily flew towards my arm.
‘’Arghh!’’ I screamed in pain as the arrow pierced my skin. Blood stains drip off my shirt.
The last thing I remember is Juan saying, ‘’Retreat! retreat!’’ By now, you know the rules
First to five wins
Participants may not vote
Try to elaborate, please
Voting ends August 1st
Let's get to business!
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Hope - Jul. 29, 2011
Are you going to vote?
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Temporal - Jul. 29, 2011
Nawp. Frankly, I don't think I'm allowed to. I am an impartial person.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Hope - Jul. 29, 2011
You can, it's not as if you've changed the stories.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - TITAN - Jul. 29, 2011
Entry Two gets my vote. #1 switched tense and point-of-view a lot. Even though 1 had a somewhat interesting idea, 2 is just, well, better.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Temporal - Jul. 29, 2011
If that's the case, my vote goes to one. I'm liking the idea of the POV being from a Beyblade itself. Though the grammar could use some work, Two seems a bit forced. Like: "Oh, no! I'm gonna get hit by an arrow to protect my friends, now! Egad!"
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - TITAN - Jul. 29, 2011
Wait, doesn't it have to be Beyblade related?
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Hope - Jul. 29, 2011
Entry 2 is, it just get's into it a little bit later.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - TITAN - Jul. 29, 2011
So I'm guessing that's yours? Anyways, good luck!
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Temporal - Jul. 29, 2011
Hrm... That was something I was worried about. Essentially, it's not that far of a stretch to say that anyone who read the round 1 entries know who's is who's, correct? So in essence, the "Entry 1/2" part is simply a formality.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Hope - Jul. 29, 2011
OK so it doesn't really matter.
Entry 1's previous part:'Wingia ! Wing upper!'
The white shadow was soaring into the sky.The shadows' speed is so fast that it almost reach the subsonic speed, to smash the blue shadow coming down from the sky! The white aura surrounding the shadow created screeching noise, make the others who are not watching this battle thought the is a rocket launching into space.
'Pegasis! Stargizer!'
The blue shadow upon the sky dives like a fearless blue falcon, it also reaches the subsonic speed to face the white shadow in front of it! Blue aura was created by its unbelievably high speed, which almost contort the extreme of beyblading!
Two shooting stars smashed each other and created a huge explosion, with a smell of metal. Two small beys were falling from the smoke caused by the explosion, and landed inside the stadium. The blue one- we known as the ol’ legendary Galaxy Pegasis- was still spinning inside the stadium, while the white one- which was called the Galaxy Wingia, which looks like Galaxy Pegasis with a slight of difference- stopped spinning, with half of it stuck in the mud.
‘Dang, how come I still lost even I have a new bey?’ The onwer of Galaxy Wingia- TenShouYoku grumbled. He kept on rubbing the bey with his thumb, but the pure white colour of the metal wheel could not be reappeared. ‘You did pretty well, Yoku.’ his opponent-Ginga said, ‘You can use such a powerful move even you obtained it two days ago, it is just incredible. If I didn’t use Stargizer, I’ll surely get KO’ed.’
Apparently Yoku didn’t listen to him. He ran away and shouted, ‘I’ll beat you one day, Ginga! One day very, very soon!’
TenShou Yoku ran to the B-pit to clean his precious Galaxy Wingia. While he is running, he hold Wingia in his right hand, and think about the changes two days ago......
It was a stormy night.
TenShou Yoku is shooting a tree with his Storm Wingia, as he lost in a tournament in the first round. “I will not lose......’ he said, ‘I will strike to win! I’ll win in all of the touraments! Go Shoot!’
Storm Wingia was launched harshly and flew towards to the tree. Suddenly, an ominous wind blew Storm Wingia away and smashed it onto the ground. ‘What in the world?’ Yoku said. He picked up Storm Wingia and looked at the black sky.
To his amazement, a bright shooting star was falling from the sky, clearing the black clouds nearby, as an angel coming from the sky. But the most amazing thing is-The star is striking towards Yoku!
Yoku thought that he will be killed, so he did not flee or even budge, waiting to die.
However, things did not happen as he thought. The shooting star became slower and slower, and landed on his hands softly, like a piece of feather. Storm Wingia was no more- it became Galaxy Wingia.
Yoku could not believe in his eyes. He equipped Wingia on the beylauncher and cried out loud, ‘Go Shoot!’ Wingia was slow at once after launched, but then, it became faster, faster, faster..... until it is about at subsonic speed. It then jump up high and smashed onto a rock, and the rock broke into pieces........
..........
‘Why am I keep on thinking about that?’ he thought, and looked at the soil-covered Galaxy Wingia. ‘.....Aw, never mind about that! Wait for me Wingia, I’ll heal ya as soon as possible!’
Sunshine kept on shining the path to the B-pit, and only footsteps were heard..... Entry 2's:
News Report: New Zealand – “A 52 year old man, Michael Hitchwell, was found deceased in a snow drift at Betrona ski resort. The ski marks show that he was travelling at tremendous speed prior to his death. The cause of his death has been determined to be as a result of a broken back but in suspicious circumstances. The police also found three other ski trails around the scene of his descent and death. The police are pleading for all witnesses to come forward with information. Police also found a small metal object next to him, circular in shape with ancient symbols and runes carved onto it. Cryptographers are baffled by what they mean. Now to other news a lion escaped from Victorvil….’’
A flash of static filled the television screen before returning to black.
“Mum! The TV’s not working again!†I trudged up to my room and flopped onto the bed. “Everything was different when dad was around.†I thought sadly to myself. Dad died six months earlier and it still hurt to think about him. With nothing else to do I got up and started browsing the net. The door-bell rang waking me from my trance.
“I’ll get itâ€, I yelled to Mum as I raced down to the door.
As I opened the door a man who was dressed in a tuxedo with a limousine parked in the driveway, said “You are invited to the reading of Mr Michael Hitchwell’s will†he stated,
“If you come with me know it will change your life foreverâ€. The word forever echoed in my head.
“Hey mum!†I called out, “I’m going out to play with Frank. Is that alright?†I didn’t hesitate and ran straight into the back of the limo. The man quickly followed and upon getting into the driver’s seat advised “We’ll be there in a few minutesâ€. I didn’t hear a thing though as I was too busy looking out the window and pushing all the buttons to listen.
By the time I had figured out where all the snacks were kept we had pulled in to an enormous driveway which led to an old stone Manor.
The man opened my door and said, “Follow me Sir. I will show you to the parlour.†The manor was definitely creepy with spider webs covering the windows and rock crumbling from the brick walls. I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to go any further. I took a deep breath and I walked into a large auditorium. The room was packed and the air was buzzing with excitement.
“Now the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The announcement of who gets the ancient and priceless artefacts from the estate of the late Count Michael Hitchwellâ€. There was deathly quiet and I took the opportunity to look around. I saw my best friends, Frank and Mozy sitting right up the front. Now I was really freaked out. Not wanting to be sitting alone I crept up the front and found a seat next to Mozy.
â€How the hell did you get here?†I whispered.
“Probably the same way you came, by limo.†Mozy replied.
Before I could find out any more, the executor of the will announced, “Now for his most precious possession. If you were shown here by limousine stay here, if you weren’t then please leave through the back doors.†Groans of disgust escaped from the people leaving the room. Only three of us remained in the room. Frank, Mozy and I looked at each other with excitement.
The executor said, “Frank and Mozy please leave through the back doors to receive your entitlement.†Frank and Mozy were eager to see what it was and vanished quickly. When they had left the executor, “Victor, here is your legacy. Use it wiselyâ€. She opened the palm of her hand and the same object that I had seen appear on the news was there. “Take it!’’ she snapped.
As I took the strange looking object the world around me changed. I was no longer in the manor house but in a barren world covered with purple dust. The executor suddenly transformed from a young woman into a snarling beast. “Nowâ€, she said, “Let’s battle!â€
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - SwiftShadow - Jul. 30, 2011
My vote goes to entry 1. I really like the way that the author told the story by telling it from the beylades point of view. I also liked the word choice that the author used.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - TenshouTsubasa - Jul. 30, 2011
Hmm.....
results now:
Entry1, 2 votes
Entry2, 1 vote.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - TenshouTsubasa - Jul. 30, 2011
Hey c'mon, vote guys......
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Sparta - Jul. 30, 2011
Entry 1. To be honest, entry 2 was much better, but nowhere could I find beyblades, let alone a reference.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Hope - Jul. 31, 2011
Read my first part.It will come in the next chapter.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Temporal - Jul. 31, 2011
Assuming you move on, that is. I just like the premise of Entry 2.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Cygnus - Jul. 31, 2011
I'm voting for entry 1, and as Sparta said, there's nothing to do with BeyBlade in the story.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - TenshouTsubasa - Jul. 31, 2011
So Temporal, which one are you voting for?
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Hope - Jul. 31, 2011
Can people read my part I posted above.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - TenshouTsubasa - Aug. 01, 2011
Today is the last day to vote,
Results:
Entry 1 :4 vts
Entry 2 : 1 Vt
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - sonicsora123 - Aug. 01, 2011
entry 2 just by looking at it. its just easier to understand for me. can someone do a vote count
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - MaDMuPPeT__ - Aug. 01, 2011
I vote for entry 2. It is easier to understand and read and i like the idea of the story.
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Hope - Aug. 01, 2011
The votes are 1:4
2:3
Let's get voting,only 1 day left!
RE: WBO Writing Tournament! Quarterfinal Round: Hope vs. Tenshou Yoku - Justaway - Aug. 01, 2011
Entry 2..it's short and sweet...it is much better when it comes to grammar too although it isnt fully related to beyblade. And I like the wverall plot of entry 2 as well.
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